leave the door open

lafayette eriksson penned by garden for interchangehq

[lafayettepls]

exhalcdvibes​:

“ who said there was sh… ” pausing as the drink was placed in front of him. eyeing the fruity concoction laff had ordered for the two of them before shooting him a glare, you know i hate this shit, but still he drank it quietly. “ alright but if i have to come hunt you down at some hotel make it a nice one this time. i’m not sleeping on some gross ass motel sheets again. ” he’d never understood why lafayette seemed so sheepish about their interactions but that didn’t stop him from doing everything in his power to make him blush. “ i don’t make anything weird. ” his eyes rolled, “ you’re just embarrassed that you want to sleep with me. it’s alright, i’m the season’s diamond, everyone wants a piece of me. ” he teased, “ you can try all you want but i’m not dancing. ” at least not without two more drinks in him but he wasn’t going to give away his secrets. 

an easy chuckle left plush lips as auggie was stunned into silence for a few blissful seconds, sipping his drink in an effort to dampen the obvious mirth in his eyes. cursing how obvious his flushed cheeks were in this lighting, lafayette desperately tried to relax. it was hard to explain, it wasn’t that he was ashamed of who he was. maybe you are. or maybe it was how pathetic and stereotypical the possibility of having feelings for his best friend was. probably both. “ of course not, only the best for you after all. “ raising an eyebrow, trying to seem unfazed when his heart beating out of his chest was anything but that. however as usual, an outlandish comment startled a laugh out of him as he remembered to breathe again. “ oh please, everyone might want your dick but that doesn’t mean you’re the diamond. “ this was familiar and simple, he ordered another round of drinks. taking pity on auggie, he made sure to order the man’s drink of choice. “ you keep telling yourself whatever you need to but mark my words, we’re dancing tonight. “ for a second his voice was entirely more stern than he’d meant for it to be but maybe it was just the liquor talking. 

[lafayettepls]

( & 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚊𝚑 ; )

“ come to new york for the summer ? “ the question was rushed as he twisted a few of the rings that sat along his fingers, hazel eyes darting from her face to the soft grass under their feet. “ i want to show you the city. “ 

[lafayettepls]

shredderisms​:

trying to shove down the embarrassment she felt when she caught his gaze. it wasn’t like she was unaware of how he felt about her but still her stomach jumped when she noticed it. eyes stuck to her boots quietly counting scuff marks, “ “ wh-uh…yeah. ” ” she nodded, “ that um that’s fair. i’ve already had a paulo moment, let’s not test fate. ” it has a tendency to mess with me. “ karaoke it is sugar. do you think they’ll have disney songs ? i want to sing every single song from frozen. reindeers are better than people, which should really be sharks are better than people but they didn’t sing in nemo which makes no sense to me, we can get singing lions but singing fish ? guess that was a step too far but i’ll take what i can get, love is an open door and i’ll even be hanz for that one, fixer upper you gotta be kristoff for that one though because i will be all the trolls… ” trailing off as it dawned on her that she just wanted to watch frozen. “ maybe we should just watch frozen one and two because you can’t just skip the second one, i bet there’s a sing along version and since i’m an angel i’ll let you be elsa or anna. ” tugging him back towards their buildings a small grin on her lips, “ i should take a day off of drinkin’ anyways. ” 

for a minute, his brow quirked in thought at the statement before laughing easily. “ let me guess, cousin dicky ? he likes taking girls to italy. “ any previous worry laff had that she wouldn’t really talk to him went out the window at her long, winding and partially rambling monologue. probably because singing fish was an art long lost to any competing animation company circa shark tale and will smith fish. but he just chuckled to himself as she continued on, an out right laugh leaving him as noah realized exactly what she wanted. “ whatever you want, love. “ the words were simple and it was easy to mean them, his lips twitching with a miniscule smile. letting her tug him along, he hummed in mock thought while the delight of how ridiculous this all felt was. “ i’ll be anna, i can’t really imagine you with blonde hair though. “ frowning at her mention of daily drinking, laf thought of commenting but thought better instead just taking a longer stride and tugging her back into his grasp. “ lucky for you and your poor liver, we don’t have time for drinking. just lots of frozen and probably some takeout. “ 

[lafayettepls]

bcdviibrations​:

“ i’ve never had lavander ice cream but my maman will sometimes put it in the food she cooks for us or braid it into our hair she says that it’ll cool our wild spirits. ” taking a deep breath before launching into her story at rapid speed, “ well i told her that i’m doing a presentation about our family history with plants and how we keep our ancestral knowledge alive today essentially the argument is that if we restore the connection to the earth as a personal relationship it’ll save the planet, ” mocking herself with a laugh. “ since i know she’s the keeper of the family history i asked her to send me some of the photos of my all the great grandparents and she sent me all of these, ” grabbing five envelopes that’d been stuffed with photos, “ because that woman has no sense of self control and now i’ve got to sort through them all and decide which ones to use…well more so you because i need to edit my project before tomorrow but if i start going through these i’ll get so sidetracked that it’ll never happen. ” 

a hum left him at the addition of family traditions to the conversation, thinking of the light purple flower sitting in brambles of brown hair and braided into tender plaits. it made him feel lighter than anything he could call tradition, “ around christmas, my mamma and pappa make st lucia crowns for the twins. it looked like fun. “ his voice was quiet, knowing it wasn’t exactly the same but wanting to share anyways. glad that sayir began to speak again, he listened intently. it sounded like something that would interest noah but he shook that thought from his head, he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about her right now. lafayette was guilty of seeing the earth as an object as opposed to a being to have a relationship with, so his brain was twisting itself in circles to wrap around this new framework. okay, that makes sense the more i think about it.

nodding as she continued again, he began to reach for the envelopes that she had pointed to. letting them spill out onto the table, hazel eyes roamed over faces and clothing and places that’d he had never seen before. the sheer amount of them was astounding, after looking over a few, he began to see the resemblance between all of them with a smile. sorting them into a useful pile, repeat pile and not sure pile; lafayette felt pretty proud of his work so far. how can that be here ? the thought brought everything else to a screeching halt, his hand paused over the picture. it was something he was sure he dreamed, a wedding photo, a groom who had his eyes obvious even in the sepia toned photo looking at his bride with such tender adoration as she gazed up at him. “ you have a picture of my parents. “ his voice was strangled, “ not my adoptive parents, my actual parents. i think. “ letting out a sound between a laugh and a sob, laf knew his mind was jumping to conclusions but it felt so real. resisting the urge to bolt from the room, he asked. “ how the fuck, is this even possible ? “

[lafayettepls]

exhalcdvibes​:

“ careful now. ” he grinned shooting him a look. it wasn’t hard to read laff, spending nearly every day together for years could do that, and while he wanted to probe more he knew when to let things go. making a note to bring it up at a later date. “ gasp lafayette, ” eyebrows raising as he smirked at him, “ are you trying to recreate prom with me ? ” reaching over the table to pinch his cheeks between his fingers twisting them small circles as he spoke, “ why didn’t you just say that you wanted to have a little date, you know i’ll always take you out, you’re the number one man in my heart always. ” letting go with a wink before picking up his drink. taking his time to drink it if only to prolong any chance of him having to dance, “ if you wanted me to dance with you bullying me isn’t the way to go. i’m too wounded to catch a groove, you’ll have to go without me, bust a move for the both of us. ”

laughing easily at his look, lafayette just smiled innocently at his best friend. “ i’m always careful, babes. “ peacocking just a bit to soothe his own ruffled feathers that auggie saw through him so easily sometimes, huffing easily with crossed arms. “ maybe i am, there’s no shame in wanting another great night with you. prom was great, drinking in the hotel room included. “ rolling his eyes, laff couldn’t help but preen under the attention, even leaning into the cheek pinching before recoiling in embarrassment. “ oh shut up, “ he grumbled, desperately trying to hide his flaming cheeks behind his cosmopolitan. “ the reason i don’t say anything is because you always make it weird. “ by the end of his whining, his drink was gone too. ordering another one of them for both of them easily, he raised an eyebrow and laughed. “ sorry bud, please accept this drink as my apology. too wounded to catch a groove my ass. “ wiggling said eyebrows, he continued easily, “ how about if i ask oh so nicely ? “

[lafayettepls]

shredderisms​:

she only shrugs in response. he didn’t have to agree with her, most people didn’t, she’d gotten so good at pretending to be a good person that everyone around her believed it. sometimes even she did. then something would smack her in the face with reality and suddenly she’d be reminded that she was the root of all of her issues. if she was different, better, then things wouldn’t be this way. offering up a hand for him to take as she nodded solemnly, “ sure, i’d love to hang out. do you want to like…go for a walk or i don’t know, find something to do ? i heard there’s a karaoke bar not far from here. ” she’s not used to there being any awkwardness between them, even when she was mad at him, it wasn’t awkward. “ um…we could rent a vespa and go galavanting around, live out my lizzie mcguire fantasies in turkey this time, we could steal cooper’s tent and go camping, i got all my homework done early so i’ve got nothing but free time today. ”

maybe she hoped he wouldn’t notice but he did, the slight shrug, the resignation of something lingered in that moment. hazel eyes flickered over her form, mind tumbling as it usually did when around noah. a breeze swirled around them and it spurred him to take a step towards her as she offered him her hand. taking the appendage easily, the whirling inside slowed to a giddy spin and a sigh of relief left him. lacing their fingers together like they held the fabric of their very universe together, lafayette pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. it was easy to miss something that was right before you. scrunching up their nose at her suggestions, “ i’ll have to turn down the last one because i refuse to be paulo, how about karaoke ? you can pick the theme and everything. “ it’d been a long time since he’d had any kind stupid fun, burying himself in extra credit and econ research. swinging their hands as he pestered her to lead them towards the bar, laff felt like things might not be so bad after all. 

[shredderismsarchived]

NOAH SHREDDER MOODBOARD ( ft @lafayettepls​ )

[lafayettepls]

shredderisms​:

wide eyes watch him unable to find a single word to say. not that there weren’t words in her head ( when were there not ) should i hug him ? should i say something ? what’s the right thing to say ? do i tell him i understand…i kind of do…kind of. swallowing as she blinked. she opened her mouth to speak but her thudding heart stopped her. fuck, fuck, fuck. say something, anything. palms sweating as she shifted awkwardly in place. don’t bitch out. shredders don’t bitch out. “ nothing would be better if you went up in flames. ” she blurted, “ not for me or the little family we made. no matter what your brain says, i know that you’re an important part of the equation. ” brows furrowed as her lips twitched, “ i…i don’t know if i’ll ever be enough. sometimes i think that i’m just fundamentally broken, like there’s got to be something wrong with me, i don’t know if i’ll ever not feel like that. i don’t know if i even should but i - ” she panicked internally mind spinning in circles. i’m saying the wrong things. i’m messing this up. “ i think you’re amazing and i’m sorry that i…if i made you feel like you’re not enough. ”  

sands grains slipping through that minuscule space between the thin moulded glass, he felt trapped in that space. every second a grain of sand slipping over him, how very small he felt. lafayette desperate tried to remember what it was like feel his heart beat, it was pounding in his chest right now. that can’t be right. the silence seemed to fluctuate, he could feel it. then she spoke and his guarded heart felt like it would burst. belonging. he hadn’t dared hope that anyone would want him for so long. “ there’s nothing wrong with you, everyone’s different. “ his immediate defense of her brought a wry smile to his lips, managing to stop himself as noah spoke again. “ thank you for apologizing, “ it was hard, he was so used to placating others when he felt wronged. “ i ... i’m having a hard time and that means a lot. “ as if a wind blew over him, exhaustion sinking into his bones. “ do you want to ... hang out ? “

[lafayettepls]

bcdviibrations​:

“ you came ! ” she chirped with a bright grin, “ i wasn’t sure if i scared you off when i said i needed help with - ” voice dropping to a whisper, “ homework. ” grimacing for a moment before bursting out into laughter. “ after i’ll buy you ice cream or somethin’ for being oh so helpful. ” @lafayettepls​

“ of course i did, “ and he had, as much as there was this feeling in his gut to ditch out. he enjoyed sayir in a purely platonic way that he didn’t end up finding often, his feelings around romance and sex sometimes got tangled with friendship. example a: mia and noah. so he felt at ease, laughing easily with her at the dramatics of it all. “ i’ll take an ice cream, i like lavender usually. you never said what this homework of yours was ? “ lounging in the seat with a feline like grace, he grinned. “ glad to be oh so helpful for one of the few i’m not avoiding currently. “

[lafayettepls]

exhalcdvibes​:

“ oh shut up. ” eyes rolling as he shoved him deciding not to comment on their families again. he was already in a shit mood. what good would thinking of atticus do ? though the more he told himself not to think about it the more the thoughts fought to be at the front of his mind. “ have you just been drinking alone ? that’s kind of sad babe. i know we’re supposed to be talking about all of my endless problems but are you - ” sputtering out a shocked laugh at the smack, “ hey hey - ” he yelped smacking his hands away at the squeeze, “ at least buy me a drink first. what kind of lady do you think i am ? ” speeding through the bar to find a seat before his butt was under siege again. 

“ yes sir. “  winking at auggie again, it was hard to contain his own mirth. lafayette was still giggling at his own joke by the time his best friend began to peep into his depression windows, wanting to shut the blinds in his nosy face. “ not that’s it’s any of your business, but maybe. “ was all he said before gleefully taking in the sounds that left the other’s lips, stuffing his hands in his pockets to keep them to himself and he wasn’t even drunk yet. “ the kind who isn’t too picky at the end of the night truthfully. “ the words were teasing as he sat down next to the other, ordering two rounds of their drinks of choice. “ but before i take you home tonight, you’ve gotta dance with me. it’s another part of my amazing plan. “

[lafayettepls]

shredderisms​:

“ you’re not avoiding me but you’re not talking to me, not really. ” eyebrows furrowed as she tried to understand what was actually happening. “ wait why aren’t you talking to cass and ce ? and what does that even mean nothing feelings like anything ? ” can you just use words that make sense for once.“ i feel like i’m bangin’ my head up against a wall tryin’ to understand what it is that you want from me lafayette. you keep sayin’ things are fine and gettin’ mad at me for not just knowing they’re not fine and fixin’ it. i’m not good at reading minds and i’m even worse at fixin’ problems so can you just for once, tell me what’s going on. ”

he wasn’t even sure where to start, shrugging his shoulders and kicking out his foot like he was in high school again. “ i’m pretty sure i’m isolating because i don’t think i deserve anyone to care about me. nothing feels like anything because most of my feelings are a blackhole of depression or wanting to walk straight into the ocean for months now ! “ throwing his hands up and beginning to pace erratically all while rambling on. “ what’s going on is: how long of feeling unwanted before i fucking lose my mind ? “ weakly laughing as he stared in her blue eyes, a giddy feeling frantically bubbling up within him while hazel eyes burned with tears. “ what if i’m never enough ? what if you’re never enough ? what if none of it gets better ? why do i feel like it would all be better if everything went up in flames, me included ?! “ 

[lafayettepls]

exhalcdvibes​:

“ on periodt. ” he repeated his eyes rolling with a teasing grin. “ and the last thing sven and atticus would want is their unwanted children to be weak. they get enough of that with the children they already raised, ” under any other circumstance he’d argue back, generally speaking he hates when lafayette pays for things, most times going as far as to secretly pay for the whole meal during a bathroom break. today he just didn’t care. “ yeah alright, we’ll see if you can manage to cheer me up. it might take more than a few compliments and a pat on the ass bud. ”

scrunching up his face in obvious distaste, barely managing to reign in his twitching eyebrow but not enough to stop himself from whining. “ you can’t mock me, that’s homophobic. “ snorting easily at the jib about the collective father and siblings. “ ah how fucked up it is to be looked down upon and yet better than their own spawn in their eyes. “ hazel eyes grew brighter than possible at auggie’s agreement, a tiny eep leaving his lips before he could stop it. “ there’s this place that seemed pretty alright. “ wrapping his forearm around the other’s and leading him to the cozy bar he’d found with a rainbow pattern along the wall. “ and you underestimate all of the powers at my disposal, who said that was all i had in mind to cheer you up? “ patting the other’s toned ass in a condescending rhythm before squeezing with a cheeky grin. 

[exhalcdvibes]

“ but then i yelled at kim and i now i feel kinda bad but not bad enough to actually go and like apologize. so do you want to get drunk instead ? ” @lafayettepls​

[lafayettepls]

“ i know that’s right. on periodt. “ laughing, he clapped his friend on the back. “ as both of our shit dads would say, regrets make you weak. “  taking the time to wrap his arm around auggie, always touchy when the other was bothered. “ i thought you’d never ask, “ batting his eyes mockingly before insisting on being the one to pay. “ my treat since you’re so depressed, at this point i barely feel so maybe cheering you up will cheer me up. “ 

[lafayettepls]

shredderisms​:

“ are you just not talking to me now because you’re not allowed to avoid me after you said everything was fine. ” @lafayettepls​

“ that’s not true, if anything you’re the only one i’m talking to. “ he shrugged. “ i’ve been avoiding everyone else including cass and ce which is a shame for her since we’re partners for that project or whatever. “ unable to stop himself from rolling his eyes, he restored. “ no one ever said things are fine, nothing feels ... like anything really. and i’m not avoiding you, i haven’t walked away. “

[lafayettepls]

exhalcdvibes​:

“ right ? he’s not a real person ! plus he keeps bein’ nice to me which is even more annoying. i can’t punch you in the face while you’re askin’ how my day was. ” he wasn’t sure what annoyed him more, the fact that he couldn’t justify hitting francis or just the fact that he was involved at all. “ i told you ! ” throwing his hands up in the air, “ i said, horse girls are the devil, you said not this one. now look at ya, sad eyes and shit, why ? ” he paused before answering his own question, “ because you can’t trust a horse girl. they smell like hay and manure. it’s alright, you’ll always have me. we can always get married, leave these ladies in the dust. ”

“ oh even worse, “ he sneered with disgust, “ exactly ! the white boy turns into the well meaning white boy then you’re the bad guy just because ! “  throwing his hands up in solidarity and at the very thought of asher andrews stupid puppy dog eyes, downing more of his beer a bit faster. “ i know you did ! you did ! i was an idiot. fucking horse girls. “ even though his heart ached like a bitch, a wide grin slipped onto his lips as he was yelling like an idiot with his best friend. “ you know what man, you’re right. “ laughing at the warmth in his chest would could have totally been the beer, “ not a terrible idea, we’d be a solid power couple. “ pausing before raising an eyebrow at the other in jest, “ am i proposing or are you ? “ 

[lafayettepls]

bcdviibrations​:

“ that’s not true at all, you literally left me here with all these white people to go to texas and pretend to be a cowboy, and don’t think i didn’t notice that you didn’t come back when i said you should have. you’re so lucky i met someone besides reese to keep me company. ” if she had any sort of filter, it was long gone, any thought that popped into her head came out her mouth without a second thought.  “ duh, no man has ever turned down a request from me while my boobs are out. besides did you think that man put the cupid shuffle on for no reason ?” it seemed like a clear chain of thought to her but maybe that was the alcohol talking. “ oh no. ” wide eyed in horror, “ she’s the mermaid ? i should have been mean to her. ” it’s not too late, i could find her again, but will i recognize her without the tail… 

“ a’ight, damn. you’re not wrong on that front and i regret not coming back when you said it. “ he admitted with a grimace, taking another swig of his drink in repentance. “ oh well thank the gods that you had company, lord knows the world would have imploded otherwise. “ his tone was withering as hazel eyes rolled hard enough to drop out of his head. “ you know i was wondering which one of us put in that request and i’m sure your boobs are mesmerizing. “ patting her arm in sheer amusement before bursting into laughter at her horror. “ oh don’t worry, besides unlike most white girls she will punch you for being rude. “ snorting at the thought of how that would go down, he continued. “ while i do think you could take her, you don’t strike me as the type to fight at parties. “

[lafayettepls]

bcdviibrations​:

in any other instance she might have picked up on his weirdness but she was two drinks in and barely able to focus on her own feelings let alone someone elses. “ good, i’m glad, it wouldn’t be a party without my evil twin. ” reaching up to pat his cheek with a bit too much force. “ ummmmmmm…. ” trailing off as she tried to remember anything she did tonight, “ i showed the dj my boobs, i lost at corn hole and i almost fell in the ocean but a beautiful mermaid saved me. that last part sounds fake but i swear it happened. ”

it was almost like his bad mood seemed to roll off his back, reminding him of storm clouds rolling through the swamp. hazel eyes sparking with some of his usual mirth in no time. “ of course, good twin. i would never leave you hanging. “ laughing easily at her actions, he took another sip of his drink as she regaled him with tales of her shenanigans. “ well, i atleast hope the dj gave you a song request for all you effort. “ in between his giggles and steady buzz, not even the mention of what had to be noah could bring him down. “ oh yeah, hot mermaid is real. unfortunately she’s the white girl who has me losing my shit. “