Lafbat's Life

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Empathy and Conflict Resolution: Finding Balance

Have you ever worked with someone who was just bound and determined to be unhappy with your work and get you into trouble? I work in a community college, dealing with students, faculty, staff, and tutors. From time to time, I encounter this sort of person. I really hate it when I am caught between them and the person they are trying to get in trouble. Customer service dictates that you should…

Empathy and Conflict Resolution: Finding Balance

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Understanding Time Perception: Age vs. Mindfulness

I don’t know about you, but I find that time does 2 very different things lately. Each day seems to last forever. But then, a week is gone before I even know it. A month, a year, goes even faster. Is it an effect of age? Is it an effect of mindfulness? If it’s my age, it’s because I am getting older and have more to remember. I just can’t keep up with everything that happened a day ago. I make…

Understanding Time Perception: Age vs. Mindfulness

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Gardening Your Mind: Tips for Emotional Well-Being

Have you ever noticed that the worse your mind makes you feel the worse your body feels, too? I’ve been fighting a bout of depression for the last few months. Still managed to go to work and take care of myself, but just didn’t really care about anything or anyone. Nothing felt good. Didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. And the longer I stayed down, the worse I felt physically. Like I’d…

Gardening Your Mind: Tips for Emotional Well-Being

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Celebrating Small Victories: A Personal Journey

I keep seeing that I should be celebrating all of my victories, no matter how small or insignificant. But what makes something a victory? Should it be only your opinion? Should it matter to others? Should it have a physical manifestation? Is behavior or emotion enough? My sister just received an award for being an excellent corrections officer. She deserved it. She does just about everything…

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Managing Emotional Tiredness: Tips for a Dull Day at Work

Well, I’m having one of those days where I just seem to be stuck in the mud. Can’t get anywhere. I’ve already done everything I am supposed to do today at work. I have 4 more hours. It feels like the mud is drying. And this is about as exciting as watching mud dry. I know that according to DBT, I should be mindful and pay attention to the little things that are actually happening at this moment…

Managing Emotional Tiredness: Tips for a Dull Day at Work

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Finding Peace Amidst Inner Demons

I am sitting here at work. I’ve done my entire to do list. I’ve spent 1 1/2 hours on my professional development (a marketing course). and I still have over 2hours to be here. I am getting a nice migraine going, so I might leave early. Time will tell. I guess I could try to find someone to talk to, but that really doesn’t appeal to me. I like my peace and quiet, I just need something to be doing…

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On the verge

Spring is progressing with fits and starts. One day it is so hot we need air conditioning, then the next we need a light jacket. The trees are nearly completely leafed out. I have roses, clematis, and irises blooming. Birds are singing for territory all day long. And here I am, stuck at work and in life. I have been allowing myself to fall to the wayside. I’ve not been walking my laps,…

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Has it really been this long?

I haven’t been taking care of myself for the past few months. I’ve neglected my health, my hobbies, my mind. I was working extra to make up for the fact that my boss left for greener pastures. I was trying to do everything for everyone else. I let all those people talk me into trying to get the promotion to my boss’s position. I didn’t listen to myself. I didn’t take care of myself. I’ve been…

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Christmas is back!

I know I am not the only one who has trouble being merry and jolly this time of year. If you’re a real person with a real family, chances are that getting everyone together creates a ton of stress. Getting the right gift. Eating enough of grandma’s cooking to make her happy but not be a gluttonous pig. Disagreements over politics. Old family arguments flaring up. Of course, you may be like me. I…

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The comfort of old demons

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about how I pressure myself to lose weight, and what a spectacular failure it has been. I’m still not gaining, but I’m not losing either. I know I should be happy to be down 5 sizes and have all my bloodwork come back looking great. I know it is an achievement to not regain the 140 lbs. with reinforcements. But, I’m still not satisfied, happy, or proud of…

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Why do I do it to myself?

I find that like a lot of others, I self sabotage. I know I’m doing it, even as I do it. I know it will make me feel even more miserable and unhappy than I do to start. Why do I keep doing it? Could it be old habits die hard? Could it be better the devil you know? Could it be laziness? Could it be old behavior that was helpful at one point but isn’t any more? All of the above? How do you know?…

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Leaving the past behind and living in the present

I’ve been letting the past rule me, lately. I have let it suck me into a deep pit. I still have feelings of guilt over my mother’s death, 2 years ago this month. I’ve been letting old bad habits creep back in. Stopped trying to take care of myself. Let all my mother’s criticisms and damning words run through my head like a raging torrent. I let myself fall into believing that I am unworthy,…

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I've climbed back onto the planet of the living

I’ve been missing for a while. I don’t know if anyone missed me, but I know I was hiding in my tiny corner of the world. I’ve been fighting my inner demons a lot lately. They’ve been eating me alive. I’m finally pulling myself out of their claws. I’ve been doing a lot of all or nothing thinking lately. I’ve been categorizing everything I do as either 100% good or 100% bad. No existing in…

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The infamous last dinner of dieting

Everyone who has ever planned to lose weight, knows about the last dinner. That last meal where you let yourself eat what you really want in preparation for denying and depriving yourself so that you will lose weight. Isn’t that kind of setting yourself up to fail? If you’re looking at food as rewarding = not healthy and good food = not what you want, aren’t you telling yourself that you don’t…

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What to do when you're sinking fast.

I’m tired of this plateau. I seem to keep running just to stay still. I haven’t changed my eating habits. I’m being more active. I’m drinking more water. So why am I not losing anything except my peace of mind? I’ve always been an emotional eating. Trying to fill the emptiness with calories. I’m not doing that this time around. I guess I should see that as a victory. In the old days, I would…

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So what is real food anyway? And why does it matter?

Any dieter can tell you that there is real food and there is diet food, and never the twain shall meet. The message fat people have been given is that they don’t deserve good, tasty, real food; and the only way to become a thin (read better) person is to eat only diet food. What, you may ask, is the difference? Well, let’s start by defining diet food. This food usually contains substitutes for…

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Is it really worth it?

Everyone reaches a point, where they have to make the decision. Is what I’m gaining worth what I’ve given up? How do you make the choice? How do you adjust? How do you make life better? I am reminded of my WW leader, who tells us often, that what we eat today to lose weight, we have to be able to maintain every day to be successful. If you’ve given up carbs, can you live with never having…

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