AIO my ‘boyfriends’ mom is judging me for something i can’t control
For context, me (17F) and my talking stage (17M), we will call him A, have been talking since march. Never met his mom or friends etc. He has issues with his mom frequently and it’s not much of my business but he seems to get pretty upset. i’m 75% white and the rest is mixed with other races but my skin color is very pale and i have light eyes. A is Hispanic and Native and has darker skin. His mom is Hispanic as well. (This is relevant later on)
A is graduating tomorrow and i was planning on going for my friend who is also graduating. A didn’t invite me to his graduation which i didnt mind but I’ll be there anyways due to my friend. He reminded me today he is graduating tomorrow and i said I’ll see him there and then he texts me “bro that means you’re going to meet my mom” which i was fine with. Here’s where it gets concerning. he tells me our mutual friend told his mom all about me and showed her photos and how she basically messed it up for me.. i was confused so i asked how and he told me his mom is weird about girls since we’re young (understandable). Then he proceeded to say “and my mom instantly started judging cause youre white and she doesn’t think you’re for me” i was shook.
after he texted me all of this i said “well im not sure what to say, life goes on and the world keeps spinning, people judge books by covers all the time” He already expressed how he was annoyed by the situation and the subject quickly changed after that. for reference, i’ve never spoken to this woman or met her before so the only things she knows about me is whatever our mutual friend told her and the photos she showed her.
I still plan on bringing him flowers and congratulating him but i don’t think i want to be around him or his mom much after that during the graduation. I have been bullied and judged my entire life over my pale skin color but i wouldn’t expect it from a grown woman. I feel a bit uneasy to speak to her but if he introduces us of course i will be respectful and kind per usual.
AIOR for feeling triggered by her prejudgments about me and wanting to steer clear from the whole situation during the graduation/possibly in the future?
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (100% confidence)
Top comment: “NOR. Better that you are aware of her prejudice now. You can choose to navigate the graduation knowing this, so to minimize any angst your friend may have about you meeting his mother.”
Notable explanation: “NOR - Don’t get her bigotry keep you from having good character and manners. Use the event to watch how your boyfriend acts. The reality is that he’s young so despite how he talks he might cave in to his mom’s wishes. I’m glad you aren’t struggling with potentially letting him go too.”
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Originally shared by Adviceseeker-acc13 on r/AmIOverreacting on June 2nd, 2026 at 5:08 AM UTC. Credit to u/LauraLand27 and u/BeeJackson for the quoted comments.
