Mar 16, 2025
i’ve never wanted to die more in my life than i do right now. i see no future for myself, i didn’t at 14 and i still don’t. i don’t want to be alive anymore. i can’t fall asleep at night without thinking, and sobbing. i’ve cut off my dads side of my family completely. But my mom, how can i just leave her. She would be devastated, she already lost one child, not physically but she does not speak to my mother. I can’t live like this anymore. i don’t want to be here. i need help but then i’ll have to drop out of college and then everyone will hate me and i will be a disappointment. i imagine shooting myself in the head almost every second of the day. i don’t want to feel like this anymore