[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[valtsv]

tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

[valtsv]

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

[valtsv]

marine scientist: what’s your gender?

merperson: what’s a gender

marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?

merperson: i’m merfolk

marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?

merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?

[9lunarseas6-deactivated20240914]

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

[anonymous-lizard]

Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)

Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*

Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

OH MY GOD

[kingfisher-colours]

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.

[ace-aussie-asshole]

That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.

[moghedien]

it is so funny when you realize that by drow standards, especially drow noble house and ESPECIALLY Baenre standards, Minthara is the woke liberal

She is willing to work with men in leadership positions even post-mind control and she will actually compliment and admire their tyrannical prowess

She will argue that the refugees in Baldur’s Gate should be enslaved because it’s practical and better for them that way, not because they’re weak lesser races that deserve to be subjugated

Like she probably gets called a libtard at Spider Thanksgiving every year while all her relatives are trying to poison each other

[a-tangled-mermaid]

Spider Thanksgiving I'm DYING 💀😂

[gorbling]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[gorbling]

[hapalopus]

[hapalopus]

More from the notes:

[vexwerewolf]

I love this post

[karifaevt]

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

[sixthrock]

please appreciate how Giovanni has a framed classical portait of his cat in his office

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[waddlephone]

AI water usage or something

[sonshine-arts]

underwater hangout~

[adobe-outdesign]

A new Drifloon card just got announced for the 30th anniversary set and I'm going to start a small collection I'm titling "cards that look cute until you consider The Implications"

[throwusaboner]

Hermaeus Mora Stuns In Serpent Couture At Gala

me: i should do something with canon characters for @tes-gala. let's think of ideas!

my brain: best i can do is Serpent Sock Puppet Hermaeus Mora

[loccorocco]

Lucia and Sofie get adopted AO3 Link

[huariqueje]

Cooking Jam  -  Teija Lehto, 2016

Finnish,b.1965-

Woodcut,61 x 77 cm.

[sullencrab]

Source

[clacksoperator]

[wordfather]

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore

[beardedmrbean]

[official-german-puns]

Kannst du das sehen, Deutsche Bahn?

[cherishablematerial-deactivated]

you're laughing. charles dickens had a son named plorn and you're laughing

[mediummarketpaperback]

HE HAD A SON NAMED

WHAT

[cherishablematerial-deactivated]

Plorn

[mediummarketpaperback]

NICK I LOOKED IT UP AND SAW NOTHING OF THE SORT IS THIS A PRANK

[cherishablematerial-deactivated]

technically his name was edward but everyone called him plorn

[mediummarketpaperback]

Edward “Plorn” Dickens. my god.

[cherishablematerial-deactivated]

I have something worse

[mediummarketpaperback]

oh???

[cherishablematerial-deactivated]

[mediummarketpaperback]

imagine getting stuck with the nickname Plorn

[cherishablematerial-deactivated]

imagine getting sent to live in the Australian outback when you were sixteen

[mediummarketpaperback]

WHY WERE THEY SO CRUEL TO MY BOY PLORN

[cherishablematerial-deactivated]

I have an answer to that one too

[cherishablematerial-deactivated]

[cherishablematerial-deactivated]

[cogentranting]

The face of a man whose father nicknamed him Plorn.

[elodieunderglass]

Born without a groove 😔

[linguisticparadox]

[telomeke]

With each addition to this, I find myself nodding and murmuring, "Mm hm. The Plorn Dickens."

‌

[digitaldiscipline]

I'd rather be sent halfway around the world than deal with that gormless gutterfucker as a father, too.

SUCK MY PLORN, CHUCK.

[acetrainerghirahim]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

question! if a human gets simultaneously bitten by a vampire, a zombie, and a werewolf, what's the end result?

[27dragons]

[homunculus-argument]

I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.

The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.

[terriwriting]

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

[copperbadge]

When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.

I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.

After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.