Discovering My Laughing Star

A twenty-something mom attempting to survive adulthood, be a loving wife, and nurture my kiddos. Sometimes you gotta write something down so you don't talk to yourself and have your family think you're crazy.

[lalael]

Two skeins down, one to go! Have I mentioned how much I love #chroma yarn from @knit_picks yet? I love watching the colors stack on each other. I totally see myself making another #lostintimeshawl in the future. Fantastic pattern by @mijocrochet that I just can't get enough of! #wipwednesday #crochet #crochetersofinstagram

[culturenlifestyle]

[sparkitors]

if you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or anything else today, here’s a reminder that we love you, and you’re not alone. 

illos by the lovely @thelatestkate​

Keep reading

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[tastefullyoffensive]

by floccinaucinihilipilificationa

[wilwheaton]

(via Interstellar Collection – Elhoffer Design)

[lalael]

TOTALLY want the Wesley Crusher version

[shmoo06]

[thatsgrace]

shmoo06:

x

[wilwheaton]

good advice (via r/getmotivated)

[whosthewhatnow]

IT’S HERE! IT’S HERE! IT’S FINALLY HERE! Nibs goes spelunking in today’s ALL-NEW PLAYING DEAD!

Play Dead every Tuesday and Thursday!

[wilwheaton]

What should I do when I feel like I'm on the brink of doing something extremely regrettable

So think about Future You for a second.

Future You is a person who you love and care deeply about. You are the kind of person who doesn’t want to hurt or disappoint someone you love and care deeply about.

Future You needs Present You to take care of him or her, and is quite honestly depending on you to do that.

So even if you won’t do something kind for Present You, think about doing something kind for Future You, who I will remind you is someone you love and care deeply about.

And when Present You becomes Future You, take a moment to be thankful to Past You for being kind and loving and doing something for you.

[tastefullyoffensive]

Today’s top story. (via abc7chicago)

[buzzfeed]

wow rude (by @nathanwpyle)

[hannahhillam]

It can be a low level wizard or even a cleric if you are tight on cash

[tastefullyoffensive]

“I’ve seen things…” (via boobafett13)

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Whomp Comic

[emilyvgordon-deactivated2019090]

Is there a point when one can have unrealistic goals for a relationship? For Valentine's Day I asked my boyfriend for a thought out (but simple) date day where I didn't have to do any planning, and that didn't end up happening. Should I be mad at my boyfriend for being lazy or am I just trying to change who he is (someone who is lazy and doesn't plan)?

This is a good and complicated set of questions:

Question 1: What should you reasonably expect out of a romantic partner? Are you expecting too much or not enough?

Question 2: How much should a person change when they’re in a relationship? Does wanting anything different from a romantic partner mean that you’re trying to alter his/her personality?

I’ve wrestled with these issues forever. I have always fallen for intense dreamer dudes who have big ideas crammed into their little human-sized skulls. Their heads are so full of ideas that sometimes they forget the niceties of human interaction. I told myself for years that those niceties were part of the problem, that I had been trained incorrectly for wanting them. To think that someone calling me back or touching the small of my back as I go through a door was important was me falling prey to society’s bullshit.

What I was really wrestling with (and this is just me here, I am not talking about you) was picking men who reflected how I felt about myself back at me- men with more important things to deal with than me. My thoughts and feelings and needs weren’t important to me, and they weren’t important to the guys I dated. I made sure of it. All of my questions about what was reasonable in relationships were seen through the lens of “but I’m probably being high maintenance”. The thing is, I’m not high maintenance, and also fuck that term in its ass. I’m not a plant to be maintained, I’m a human being who seeks and gives love like a magician. 

Hilariously, those boys’ more important things they were tackling, like capitalism and greed and conformity, were usually a way to not deal with their own depression/anxiety/addiction/low self-esteem- we were both putting a bunch of vague hypothetical bullshit in front of our own feelings and hoping for the best.

But as the Internet wisely said, get you a man who can do both. There are men and women tackling big heady issues and also kissing you on the cheek because of how the light looked streaming through your hair just now.

What you should expect out of a romantic partner is a sense that you are safe, appreciated, and treasured. Period. That treasuring can take many forms, and here’s where we have to do a little work on ourselves: Part of dating in general is navigating how you like to feel treasured, balanced with how the person you’re dating treasures people. Before you even get into a relationship, you need to know what makes you feel loved. Once you’re in the relationship, you need to communicate what makes you feel loved, clearly and with no “you’re probably going to fuck this up”. You also need to look at the person you’re dating realistically and make sure that how you are seeing him/her is accurate and not a dreamy fairytale that will never be satisfied. It’s a lot of work to do, but it’s worth doing.

Back to your situation, where you asked for a date to be planned and it didn’t happen. I feel for you. That’s a fucking bummer. Maybe it didn’t happen because he doesn’t really care about you. Maybe it didn’t happen because he was trying to think of something amazing and he choked under the pile of options. Maybe it didn’t happen because he is lazy. What needs to happen as soon as possible is a conversation about that date. Here are some talking points:

-What happened to the date I asked for?

-Here is why the date was important to me, which you might not have realized.

-Here’s how I like to show you that I care about you. Do you feel cared about when I do these things?

-Here’s how I see you showing me that you care about me- does this seem right to you?

-Can we make some lists of ways we can show each other we care that we’d both appreciate?

For you, be careful that you’re not just checking for receipts of your boyfriend’s love for you, and that you’re also open to the way he shows love. Pay attention to his actions. For me personally, requesting something from someone I love is hard for me, so it’s very disappointing if it doesn’t happen. But I’ve dated plenty of men who never realized how important that stuff was to me, because I didn’t communicate it. I communicated the words, but not the magnitude of importance behind them.

There are reasonable shifts you can expect in relationships- a new partner says they’re not affectionate in public but is happy to hold hands if it is something you say you want- and there are fundamental incompatibilities between people that can flunk relationships- you feel affection is only expressed in lavish presents and your partner is poor. You don’t want to date someone who you want to change a billion things about to make them “right”. This is a person, not a Burger King order. However, learning to adjust to each others’ needs and wants is an important part of relationships. So how do we navigate between “adjustments” and “personality overhaul”?

What I look for, simply, is if effort is being put forth. If there is communication and effort about what each person wants and needs from the other, that’s enough to bring any unreasonable expectations back down to earth, and show me that this guy cares enough to show me his heart. If you see effort being put forth and you still aren’t satisfied, this isn’t the relationship for you.

Good luck to you. Both of you!  

[lalael]

Married for 10 years and I feel like this could be useful for us. 

[tastefullyoffensive]

Lending a helping paw.

[robinbannks-deactivated20210331]

Gold. 

[sugarforsalt]

I’d watch.