noemconeixes

this is honestly depressing

[saturnoringz]

I saw my 11yo cousin this weekend and was reminded of exactly how 11yos look and oh my gods, Sansa Stark was a fucking infant

[ghostinwinterfell]

look I’m fully of the opinion that ned stark is all about #toughlove and preparing his kids for the “real world”, and jon is no exception because that man is haunted by his failure to save lyanna every single day of his life. HOWEVER! it's also important to remember that jon is his baby and gets away with murder (at least relative to the other kids) because ned can hardly look at that boy without choking on his own guilt and grief and love for him. not trusting anyone else with jon’s life, “never ask me about jon”, seating him on the complete opposite side of the hall and generally keeping him out of sight during robert's visit, going into a full-on “fury” when catelyn refuses to let jon stay in winterfell, not wanting to bring jon south to be mocked or (worse) investigated at court but not wanting to send him to the wall either because he’s just a baby, coldly refusing to talk about jon and wylla when robert brings them up, “ned had always been fiercely protective of jon” come onnn even catelyn clocks it. also those are lyanna’s eyes staring back at him from jon’s face so. what is ned even supposed to do. like one time he tries to discipline 3 year old jon after he throws food at robb or something, but then jon looks up at him with huge gray eyes full of tears and ned immediately wants to kill himself (he never raises his voice at jon again). another time jon doesn’t get the last apple cake at dinner because one of the other kids beat him to it and he’s kind of sulking about it and ned just grits his teeth and shakes his head because hasn’t he been through enough? 😫 🐺 before ordering three more trays of cakes to be baked immediately and brought up to jon’s room. and then there’s theon. yikes. that child hostage quickly learns his lesson about insulting jon in front of ned and it’s badddd. basically one day jon and theon are bickering (as usual), and ned is ignoring them (as usual), but then theon makes some stupid joke about jon being a bastard and his mother being a whore and ned screeches so loudly that theon legitimately thinks that he’s about to be beheaded on the spot. it also just happens to be the happiest day of jon’s life. he and theon don’t stop hating each other but theon never talks shit about jon in front of ned ever again (that’s reserved for their alone time). basically ned and jon's dynamic is that jon can ask him for anything under the sun and ned will say “wait here, I’ll get it for you”, except jon never actually asks for anything because he’s jon. in fact the only thing that ned ever refuses him is the one thing that jon really wants aka that time jon works up the courage to ask about his mother and doesn't get an answer (ned goes so quiet that jon never brings it up again). oh and ned also refuses those music lessons that maester luwin suggests for the boys since most highborn children in the south have at least a bit of musical education but ned says NO. absolutely NOT. over my dead fucking BODY and ALSO on an UNRELATED note jon is FORBIDDEN from going within six feet of a HARP from this day on. keep that shit AWAY from my son. and maester luwin is like okay sure. must a weird northern thing or something. anyway then ned is forced to send jon to the wall at the age of 14 to keep him safe and immediately goes back to wanting to kill himself, which kind of explains all of his questionable/borderline suicidal decisions in AGOT (“He must find some way to save the children”…not even kidding guys it's all about jon for him...the only child he ever managed to save).

[ghostinwinterfell]

in another life jon would have been catelyn’s favorite (step)son because he’s basically just a teenage boy version of her: he’s all about duty and honor BUT family comes first. he hates the lannisters and their pretty blonde hair and those deep green eyes that you could just drown in. theon violently disgusts him because nothing is ever that funny. he’s never felt truly at home in winterfell the way that ned and the other kids do. everyone and everything pisses him off. he has no time for stupidity. he’s inherited all of the duties of the firstborn son without being the firstborn son. he would die for robb. he chooses love over duty because his sister is more important. he puts his faith in someone he doesn’t trust because that’s how much he wants her back. everyone thinks he’s crazy because she’s just a girl. he tries to save her anyway. his own men betray and murder him for it, but he doesn’t stay dead because he can’t rest until he knows that arya is safe. oh and don’t forget the matching eye scars. what I’m trying to say is that jon is catelyn’s woke son.

[reallybigshark2]

birth year of ASOIAF characters if AGOT took place in 2025:

a lot of the characters in ASOIAF were aged up for the show (with good reason in a lot of cases) but one thing that always strikes me about the books is how YOUNG most of them are.

so here are what their birth years would be if the books started in 2025 (pretend their birthday this year already happened).

this based on ages in AGOT- if we meet the character later I added a year or so depending on the book (also I split groups by decades for ease of reading).

Aemon: 1926

Tywin: 1970

Jorah: 1985

Davos (if ACOK is 2026) and Oberyn (if ASOS is 2026): 1986

Robert Baratheon: 1989

Ned: 1990

Stannis: 1991

Catelyn: 1992

Jaime, Cersei, and Lysa: 1994

Drogo: 1995

Littlefinger: 1996

Sandor: 1998

Tyrion: 2001

Viserys and Renly: 2004

Theon: 2006

Shae and Brienne (if ACOK is 2026): 2007

Loras: 2009

Jon, Robb, Samwell, and Margaery: 2011

Daenerys, Joffrey, and Meera (if ACOK is 2026): 2012

Sansa: 2014

Jojun (if ACOK is 2026): 2015

Arya: 2016

Bran and Myrcella: 2018

Tommon: 2019

Robert Arryn: 2020

Rickon: 2023

please comment if I got anything wrong/forgot anyone! (characters whose ages are too ambiguous I didn't include)

[decomposingfungi]

starklings modern au. the eras tour is coming to westeros. sansa stark needs to see taylor swift perform "love story" in person or she'll die (that's what she tells ned). the money is no issue the starks can obviously afford the vip tickets for sansa. and jeyne. ("i CAN'T see taylor swift without jeyne, dad! i can't sing along to the songs alone, that's embarrassing!" "won't there be hundreds of people there?" "but jeyne is different! she's my best friend in the whole world, dad! we already made matching bracelets with the lyrics, see?"). the real issue is who is going to chaperon. robb is the obvious answer (eldest sibling curse), but he has the college entrance exams in like a month and he's kind of losing his mind, so we have to count him out. the next option is jon who is not taking the college entrance exams this year because he thought taking a sabbatical working at the former-penal-colony-now-reformed-museum that the stark family owns at the edge of the world was a good idea. jon is an emo teenager that hates taylor swift but he agrees to chaperon if his friend sam from the former-penal-colony-now-reformed-museum who actually likes taylor swift can come. so. four tickets. perfectly affordable for the starks. ned is happy. catelyn is not. she doesn't think jon is responsible enough. she needs another trusted young adult. that's when theon walks through the door. he doesn't live there but he's always in their house for some reason. coming out of nowhere with the smile of an asshole to ruin ned's morning coffee by saying: "you can't trust snow to watch the girls if his gay ass boyfriend is there to distract him." "sam is NOT gay, asshole" says jon with loyalty. nobody believes him. "all men who like taylor swift are gay" theon pronounces gay like a slur because catelyn is present and he can't say a slur for real. "but don't worry, mrs stark, i can watch the kids" he winks and catelyn considers blowing up the whole house. "you only want to go because you like taylor swift too" says arya from under the table where she's carving the wood with a kitchen knife. she knows sansa forced theon to listen to the reputation album till he admitted he liked it. "i do not!" says theon, who does likes taylor swift but also tries to go through life with the attitude of an homophobic red pilled alpha male who is NOT gay. "sam is not my boyfriend! we are not gay!" says jon again, suddenly and unnecessarily. nobody believes him. in the end, catelyn turns to the only young adult she can fully trust. and that's how sansa, jeyne, jon, sam, theon and brienne end up going to the eras tour.

[heyimcelery]

My fav genre of byler fics are the ones where Mike comes out and Will immediately excuses himself to go break up with his bf it's so funny every single time

[heypax]

have seen multiple people ask for a hadestown movie adaption post wicked and we truly have such different world views because i would never want that like to me some musicals are for stage only and hadestown is one of them

[professorsparklepants]

Sorry I'm not over the framing of Hadestown as a cyclical story. This is an old, old song, but we're gonna sing it again. We've been singing it for hundreds, probably thousands of years. It is the oldest surviving opera, the second ever written. It is, I cannot express this enough, the most common opera adaptation of all time. As soon as this story existed we were putting it to music and on a stage. This is an old, old song. And we're gonna sing it again. Because we love to sing. And because we love.

[midnightrings]

I’ve seen so many different arguments against franchaela being season 5 and it’s honestly fascinating how ridiculous most of them are.

"Eloise should’ve been next" Her storyline wasn’t set up at all.

"But what will they do with Eloise next season?" Probably set up her storyline.

"But Francesca won’t be allowed to mourn" It’s been confirmed that there will be a two-year time jump. That should be enough.

"But the books-" Literally none of the previous seasons have been accurate to the books. I don’t know why people still believe that their favorite season will be exempt from it – but that’s on you for being a dumbass.

"It’s too big of a change" It’s just a gender swap. Having a dick isn’t a personality trait.

"But I wanted the infertility storyline" We already had that with John and it can very much continue with Michaela. And there doesn’t have to be some miracle child for it to be well done.

"But they can’t marry" Well, the great thing is that you don’t need to marry someone in order to be in love with them.

"If they wanted a lesbian storyline, they could’ve picked original characters" Yay, a minor lesbian couple in a show full of straight people – how groundbreaking.

"It should’ve been Eloise" She can be gay too actually.

[callsignsundance]

hermia and helena are lesbians. i do not think this is a new take i just need to say it. wdym you're like to a double cherry, seeming parted, but yet an union in partition? two lovely berries molded on one stem?? wdym you tell her, both of you high of your asses in the middle of a random forest while being hit on by both her boyfriend and your supposed crush who is meant to hate you, that you and her are two seeming bodies but one heart . what do you expect me to do

[gnocchiinthesink]

midsummer nights dream but the love square is

will: helena

mike: demetrius

dustin: lysander

el: hermia

you get byler/henderhop and an overarching wonder twins story, plus mileven bones some low stakes angst

[wowwforever]

gonna do my own adaptation of Romeo and Juliet that's entirely the same except the poison scene goes on for a bit longer. Juliet drinks the poison that makes her go to sleep but Romeo drinks poison that supposedly kills him but it's actually a mislabeled vial of the first poison so Juliet wakes up and drinks some of that poison and then Romeo wakes up and is like "oh shit this poison doesn't work, here Juliet has some poison!" and he drinks that which is of course the go to sleep poison and then Juliet wakes up again and is like "What the fuck" and then Benvolio comes in and is like "My boy Romeo is poisoned! I'll join you bro." and now he's asleep, and then Juliet is like "I need some wine to process this" - Drinks out of the poisoned cup Romeo poured sleeping in and then Romeo wakes up again and is like "JULIET AND BENVOLIO?!" and he's so pissed but also confused and is like mentally 'well if drinking this poison twice brought my friends here i guess i'll drink it again and see what happens' and then Juliet wakes up again and she's like "Okay hold on. Let's see how this plays out" but she can't because then Fortinbras shows up and is like "I'm invading Verona! Fuck you!!!" but then Juliet splashes some sleeping poison in his face and he's out now and then Romeo wakes up and Benvolio dies because he was allergic to sleep poison and also the lion from Pyramus and Thisbe comes and kills them both The End

[yellowballoondogs]

All these “wolverine gets passed around the x-mansion like a blunt” jokes are ignoring the obvious. Scott summers is equally a whore. Logan may be the mansions communal top but Scott’s the communal bottom.

Jean grey, Madelyn Pryor, Emma frost, wolverine, angel, psychlocke, storm, pretty sure Polaris is in there somewhere.

Cyclops is a slut. Get it right.

[mintaikkcorpse]

"X-men is becoming woke!" I'm sorry, have we been seeing the same series?

The main teacher is a disabled man who uses a wheelchair. The team has a powerful African lady who is literally called a god. In some universes, she is in an interracial relationship with Wolverine. The three most powerful members of the team are Jean, Storm, and Rogue, who are ALL women. Bishop is a smart and powerful black man. Forge is Native American and is super smart and builds cool futuristic tech stuff. One of the protagonists is a chinese-american girl whose love interest is a dark-skinned Latino dude. Mystique is literally gender fluid and married to a woman. Mystique also got the woman pregnant by giving herself a penis, which is how Kurt was born. Kitty Pryde is confirmed to be bisexual. Magick is confirmed to be bisexual. Iceman came out as a gay man. Wolverine dated the literal actually HERCULES in one comic. Deadpool has been confirmed by multiple writers (AND THE MOVIE) to be pansexual, and even has a (VIATNAMESE) nonbinary love interest in one comic. The entire series is about minorities living in a society that despises them.

But yeah, sure. Complain about Morph, a SEXLESS SHAPESHIFTER WHO WAS BARELY EVEN IN THE ORIGINAL SHOW, being nonbinary and having a crush on Wolverine.

Xmen has ALWAYS been woke. It's a metaphor for oppression and how anyone who differs from the societal norm is treated terribly. OF COURSE they're going to have queer characters in there 💀

[cleradintragedy]

"why don't you like the ending, at least Steve's alive and well" I would genuinely sacrifice Steve for the sake of a single Mike Wheeler POV

[lalalaets]

im sorry im still shocked wtf do you mean people percive wolfstar as queerbait?? like im all about shitting on j*rowling but its not queerbaiting, harry potter only queerbaiting is her saying that dumbledore is gay and we could even argue ab that lol

[lalalaets]

idk what people are on but wolfstar is NOT queerbait