Aeron/Moss | masc pronouns preferred | not a minor | nsfw stuff is usually tagged under nsft | panromantic, (possibly) demisexual and transmasc/boyspike | autistic | free Palestine and fuck ICE | pro ana/ed blogs please block me I do not feel comfortable with your presence here | multifandom (though right now it's mostly The Pitt) | I write stuff in my free time (transmasc reader fics are my favorite!) | ask box + requests are always open ♡ | DO NOT FEED MY WORKS INTO AI YOU DO NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION TO DO THAT
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The four most interesting parts of time loop are when the person kills themselves for the first time, when they kill someone else for the first time (in a fuck around kind of way, this doesn't count if they already were killing people outside of the loop), how they break the loop, and the weeks afterward where they loose their fucking minds in an entirely different, significantly more damaging to the world around them way. And yet I rarely see anything done with that last one. People leave time loops and are all happy go lucky 'oh boy'. Where's the grappling with people you know who will never know you? Where's the knowledge that the safety of the loop is gone, and you can't fix any mistakes you make? That's the good angst I want
It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.
Trinity slipping into the ED after an MMA training session gone wrong or a fight to suture up a cut above her eyebrow. Baran leaving late and noticing a bed in use even though the board says it’s empty.
Her walking in on Trinity throwing stitches and either finding it extremely hot or tragically sad
barantos - half a million dollar baby
“I thought we’d spoken about this.”
trinity’s fingers froze over the suture kit, wincing at the curt tone of baran’s voice slicing through the quiet of the trauma room.
“shit.”
“mhm.”
“I, uh, thought you’d have gone home by now.”
“no.” baran said evenly, though her voice simmered with anger. “abbot’s late on account of traffic so I’m just covering until he gets here. you can imagine my surprise as I prepare the hand-off to find an empty room not only being used by someone that isn’t on the board, but being used by my wife who’s trying to sneak around a suture kit without me noticing.”
trinity winced again. she didn’t need to turn around to know how her wife was looking at her. jaw set, arms folded, eyes disapproving. she wished then, briefly, that the ground would open up and swallow her whole.
“baran-“ she started.
“turn around.” baran said shortly. “let me see.”
trinity did as she was told. baran’s face fell.
“jesus.”
trinity had a dark bruise over one cheek, a large gash splitting the brow above her left eye, about three or four centimetres in length. she smiled, hoping it looked reassuring.
“okay, it’s not as bad as it looks, I promise. I was just sparring with crus and-“
“with crus?!” baran swore something under her breath in farsi, anger flickering over her features again. “jesus fucking christ, trinity.”
“hey, I’ve fought him before. it was just a slip, I feinted and he lunged for my left, he barely glanced me-“
“it doesn’t fucking matter!” baran said, suddenly a little sharper and louder than she meant to be. trinity could spy nurses glancing up from central. “that man is twice your size, you could’ve been hurt - you are hurt, oh my fucking god.”
“baran-“
“no, no, don’t baran me right now. we’ve spoken about this before. no more stupid decisions, no more mismatched fights, even when it’s just sparring. not after last time, not after-“ she cut herself off, glaring at trinity, her expression a mixture of hurt and anger. “you’re sneaking around my ed like a goddamn cat burglar. did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”
a muscle in trinity’s jaw flickered and the corners of her mouth tugged downwards.
“I was hoping if I could fix this,” she pointed to the cut in her brow, “you’d be less pissed at me when you saw.”
“uh-uh, right, and how’s that working out for you?”
“not great.”
trinity felt the guilt beginning to seep in as baran pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing deeply.
“I didn’t do it to hurt you.” she mumbled quietly.
“no,” baran said softly, defeated, giving her a knowing look. “you never do.”
that landed.
trinity looked away, ashamed.
baran was right. whenever she stepped into the ring, no matter who it was against, trinity fought for herself and for herself only. for her, fighting was life or death, the only way she felt really and truly alive.
for baran, it felt like losing a part of trinity every day. it felt like watching trinity give herself all the pain she thought she deserved.
with another sigh, she gestured for trinity to sit on the bed and dug out the suture kit.
“I’m sorry.” trinity mumbled as baran put a set of gloves on.
“I know you are.” baran muttered, threading the needle and preparing to push it through trinity’s skin. “but it won’t stop you doing it anyway.”
“I will one day. I’ll get too old and won’t be able to do it anymore. I’ll quit.”
baran only hummed, not meeting her eyes. there was an unbearable sadness in her being.
Everyone brings a kinky smut vibe to Barantos fic but when I think about this dynamic I’m thinking:
Trinity always wears tight boxer briefs during sex. She says it makes the strap more comfortable. Baran doesn’t know it’s to hide self harm scars. The first time they have sex Baran tries to touch Trinity and she moves away quickly. This coupled with Trinity always wearing shorts and a shirt to bed and liking to wear a strap makes Baran wonder if Trinity has dysphoria that’s playing into this dynamic. A few hookups later when Trinity still never wants to be touched and is always wearing clothes while Baran is naked, Baran asks Trinity about her pronouns. Trinity laughs and says she’s emphatically a she/her lesbian. But she does think it’s sweet how nervous Baran was when she asked.
The first time they have sex Baran awkwardly asks Trinity to please stop if Baran has a seizure. And Trinity is fucking horrified that Baran thinks that needs to be explicitly stated. And then Baran tells her about the time she woke up from a seizure and her college boyfriend was on top of her. He swore he didn’t notice, but she’s always wondered if he did.
So I thought y'all would like this too
This great white comes to the jersey shore every year and this year they named her and have been tracking her hella so this is Mary Lee and she decided to show herself under this rainbow for pride month
A true gay icon
"hey toast you stayed up past midnight because you were working on the fic and not because you were procrastinating by making a hideous pattern for a joke cross stitch" have you never met a writer before
Hello there. Guess how much money I made last year? $28. I’m an investment banking analyst at a boutique firm, in M&A. I have my undergrad from the University of Chicago, one of the top schools in the country. With bonuses, sometimes I make even more. Are you jealous of that? Most people on Tumblr are usually jobless or they decided to major in the humanities and are poor.
$28?
take it slow, take it easy on me @lanawinterscigarettes - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
