Lost but not Forgotten

We were barely old enough to be adults. They asked us to fight in a war we weren't ready for and when rubble had finished falling - nothing was left.

[marie-dubois]

mess of your soul

[lance-davenport]

marie-dubois:

“It’s okay, I just don’t know how to be around people looking like this. I mean, I thought it would be a little easier adjusting, but I suppose that was naive. I — I’m just sorry if I make you uncomfortable, I just don’t know how not to.” It felt easier to just continue to apologize. An attitude could be changed, a persons personality could be altered, but her face was her own — until she came here. She was helpless, and only making things worse for those that wanted to move on.

“The Ministry is exciting work! I’ve always fancied being able to dress nice, and have my important file of important papers in hand, as I went about my very important work. Though, I suppose it’s easier to dream of it as a child, now when I look at my pile of homework, I wonder if working as a barmaid at the Three Broomsticks wouldn’t be so terrible. I suppose I could work hard for a few years, and then if I have enough saved with tips included, I could take an exotic vacation. Perhaps Morocco?”

Lance felt an odd feeling pull in his stomach, she shouldn’t have to adjust, she shouldn’t have to feel this way, it wasn’t like she could help it. “Don’t apologize, there’s nothing you can do. Other people shouldn’t take it so badly. I know… our first meeting was rocky… but if you need it I can help you… I dunno. Like help you learn how to get to class or protect you from  moreawful situations.” To be honest, he had no idea what he was saying or why. If Lance had half a brain he would avoid her at all costs, but he couldn’t… He was drawn to her like a bee to a beautiful flower. Maybe this was selfish of him to be around her, but it wasn’t for negative reasons. It wasn’t to live out some fantasy that Valerie was alive. He felt somewhere inside of him, Valerie would have wanted him to help her.

He chuckled lowly at her enthusiasm, and listened with a bit of a raised brow. “You’re probably too smart to be a barmaid. I might be good at being a bartender. I don’t have the wits to be in Ravenclaw, let alone in this school again. Morocco? Why not Egypt? I don’t know what I want to do, I’m really hoping this last year at school will solidify a concept for me finally. I spent so many years goofing off and now I don’t know what to do.”

[marie-dubois]

mess of your soul

[marie-dubois]

Marie couldn’t help but feel guilty, she was smiling along as he spoke, but her chest felt like it was growing tighter and tighter. She was tearing open wounds, for people that had been through horrific times, parading around the face of a friend they had all lost. She was like a knock off Nimbus 2030 — with no way to comfort them, or give them the closure they needed, she would never be their Valerie. “Your friend sounds like she was a wonderful person. You really loved her, didn’t you? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, actually. She was your best friend, I can’t imagine it would be easy talking about her.”  

Dipping her finger into what was left of the cookie dough, she pulled out a finger full, popping it into her mouth. Should she say something else? But what good would her platitudes be, he didn’t seem the type to want pity parties. “So, it’s your final year, right? Where are you off to after this?” Hoping he wouldn’t question the change in subject, Marie pushed forward the bowl she’d started eating out of.

[lance-davenport]

Lance felt his own smile pull at his lips, mirroring hers. He shook his head at her apology. “She was, and I did. A lot more than I ever told her, and a lot more... than I even realized. I... no. It’s alright. I like talking about her. Everyone already knew who she was and most people don’t want to reminisce about our lives before this war. It was hard on a lot of us. If any I’d imagine the last thing you want to do is talk about someone everyone thinks you are. I can’t imagine it’s easy having to endure the more extreme reactions. Earlier,” Lance paused at this, wondering if he should even tell her about when he had first laid eyes on her. “Nevermind.”

He watched as she searched for an out, obviously no longer comfortable in the conversation. “Last year should have been the final year for a lot of us, but yeah technically it’s my final year. I came back to finish my schooling. After? I... don’t know. Myself along with some others were offered up positions in the ministry for our services during the war. One of my friends intends to go into Quidditch after school. Me? Dunno. Whatever I’m good at I suppose.”

[marie-dubois]

mess of your soul

[marie-dubois]

Sometimes it was like he was a million miles away, not that she really knew him - heck, Marie couldn’t actually believe they had ended up in the kitchen. The reaction she had elicited from him, before realizing she looked like some dead girl, friendship was the last thing she had expected. After all, from the few reactions she had gotten, some short of throwing holy water at her, it was safe to say the girl had been a friend to a few - she couldn’t help but feel like she was intruding, or stealing her life away. From her briefing with the Headmistress, the gaps in her memory about the war had been filled in, and how some of the people she was going to be studying alongside, had been the soldiers. Her eyes flickered up to the boy - no, he might have been a boy, maybe once upon a time, but there was something so rough about him, something that left her wondering just how much the war had stolen from him?

Snapping out of her thoughts, Marie’s eyes met his, her lips stretching into a smile at his words. “Please, but only if they have them in here, if not, I’m sure we can just find spoons and finish off what is left of the cookie dough?” Biting down on her lip, she found her mind clouded with questions she wanted to ask, questions that she shouldn’t ask, but before her brain couldn’t even stop her, the words were rolling out of her mouth. “What was she like? Your friend, were you two close?”

[lance-davenport]

His lips quirked at her response, so polite. The way she smiled screamed Valerie to him, the memories yelling at him so painfully. “I dunno, you look like you could use some. Rough day.” If there was any chance that the people who seemed peeved at him for forgiving this girl who looked like Valerie, there was no doubt some were rude enough to come after the poor girl. No one deserved that. Not even the girl who looked like his twin sister. As Val’s best friend he knew she wouldn’t have stood for people doing this to this girl. He knew she would have wanted to him to help her - and he would. Without a second thought he would, not just for Val, but because he selfishly wanted to be around her a little bit, as painful as it was.

He pursed his lips, searching over her shoulder for an elf who might help and it was then she had spoken up. His blue eyes flashed to hers, her lips caught in her teeth. He associated the reaction with nervousness. He had seen it before. Many, many times. His eyes dropped for a moment before straying back to hers. Valerie in every one of her features, and for a moment he thought he was talking to her again. “Yeah. She was my best friend. She was practically family. What was she like?” He repeated to himself, his heart pounding as he watched her reactions. It was almost exactly like telling Valerie about herself. Reassuring her after what Elliott had done that she was more than amazing. She was so many wonderful things even when she drove him up a wall. “She had an interesting sense of humor. Humiliation was a definite go to of hers. She was thoughtful, kind, beautiful. Just as beautiful as you.” He didn’t stop as he spoke, his words earnest as he said them, not even a sly smirk that would have crossed his lips coming to them. He was not making a pass at the girl. He was being honest with her. “She was never so good at muggle things. Didn’t really understand that stuff too well. She didn’t like the things I did before the war, but she respected that what  did and never gave me too hard of a time for it. That meant more to me than I ever admitted to her. There weren’t many people who didn’t like her. She was easily a likable person. She cared about people to the point where it would hurt her. I liked to think I cared about her when she forgot to care about herself. I mean... is there anything you want to know in specific?” 

Lance could feel his heart pounding through his chest. It almost felt good to walk about her. To dream about Marie being her and her being able to hear how he felt about her, and how much he missed her. He took a low breath in, trying to cap his emotions in an effort to make sure Marie didn’t get uncomfortable. He didn’t notice then that there had been an elf who was ambling over.

[marie-dubois]

mess of your soul

[marie-dubois]

Ducking her head, she felt herself smile growing, as he tried to make light of her reaction. Tucking the hair that had escaped behind her ear, she looked into the bowl of cookie dough, raising her brow at the boy. “I hardly doubt we’ll get a decent batch out of these. We could take it easier, find strawberries, and make chocolate covered strawberries. You can never have too many, it’s a speciality in some of the shops near my parents manor.” Pushing herself up on her toes, she looked around, trying to spot a kitchen elf. “Do you know if they keep strawberries in here?”

[lance-davenport]

Lance dipped his head, searching for her reaction just as she tucked her hair away. His lips twisted into a corner of a smile to find that she had a ghost of a smile on her own lips. “We could make one, but we can also just eat the batter and call it a day,” he offered. She spoke once more offering an alternative. Yet the answer she gave made his heart stop. His breath catching in his lungs as memories of Valerie always eating her favorite treat plagued him. His expression shifted, and he swallowed thickly as he saw so much of Valerie in Marie. He rose an eyebrow and shook his head slowly, truly unsure if there were any to be found. “Want — erm, me to go find some?”

[marie-dubois]

mess of your soul

[marie-dubois]

It was like her body felt a flash of recognition around this boy she had just met. He was a complete stranger, yet the other girl connected them. Something about that connection just sparked a familiarity, it felt as if she had finally come home, except this couldn’t be home – home was in France.  Suddenly becoming all too aware of how close she was to the boy, she pulled away, sweeping the stray hairs behind her ear. “I’m not sure my ego will need much stroking, I doubt we’ll get too many cookies out of whatever batter is left behind.” Wiping her hand on the bottom of her sweater, she could feel her cheeks beginning to grow red. What the hell had gotten into her? She had only found out that she looked identical to his dead friend a few hours ago, and here she was having a food fight with him.

[lance-davenport]

Quiet as he often was, he watched, his blue eye perusing across her features as she sunk into herself. He had meant his words in a light manner. He didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable. She moved away from him, now very conscious of their distance. He said nothing — something he knew Valerie would tease him for now if she met him … or had gotten a chance to talk with him. He shook his head at her words, moving closer to her once more and wiping at the choclate he had placed on her cheek with his thumb. He winked playfully as he put the digit into his mouth. "You know. I agree. Edible art, you might be better than any I know. About the batter? No worries though, I'm not a big eater anyways." He paused, spying her expression and he nudged her softly, "C'mon. If you don't keep baking I'll take it into my hands and ruin your masterpiece oh great one."

[villainrps]

valance + inspo (x) + breaking lexi’s heart

[marie-dubois]

mess of your soul

[marie-dubois]

Pressing her eyes shut, she could feel the colour rising up on her cheeks as he ran his fingers down her cheek, unable to hold back another smile as she felt the smooth batter settling on her cheek. Bringing a finger up to wipe some off, rather than flicking it off, she pop the finger in her mouth, a hushed moan escaping her lips at the taste. “I truly am the cookie batter master, even I’m a fan of my own work.” Hoping her words had pulled his attention away from whether or not she was going to retaliate, she moved closer, sinking her fingers into the batter, before bringing her hands up to swipe across his neck. “I think I might have a career in edible art, I should just use people as canvasses.” Quickly bringing up a finger to tap the end of his nose, she giggled realizing that there was just a brush of cookie batter left on the tip.

[lance-davenport]

Lance watched as her cheeks grew to color themselves pink, momentarily forgetting that it was blood that colored her cheeks. The same liquid he had last seen Valerie covered in. Her lips spread into a grin, a finger making its way into her mouth again and a soft noise escaping her. The Ravenclaw was beginning to get confused — the sudden turn in her actions. She had seemed so much different at dinner and now this. Apparently she settled in quickly. "Huh, and here I was thinking that I was going to need to stroke your ego. Turns out our new student can do it all on her own." Then she did something he truly should of expect Vale— no. Marie swiped at him, revenge finding itself in the stick mess that was on his neck. Lance did respond, his eyebrows raising at the sound of a her giggle and a small smile pulling at his lips despite him trying to hold it down. She sounded so much like her…

[marie-dubois]

mess of your soul

[marie-dubois]

Tilting her head to the side, her grin widened as he pulled different faces. Shaking her head, she raised a brow, the grin permanently stretched across her lips. “Hm, that tiring? I thought you told me that you were ready for this task, seems like someone told a little white lie.” Biting down on her lip, she put two fingers through the cookie batter, picking up as much as she could, she quickly brought her fingers up to his mouth, chucking as she ran her fingers across his stubble, getting as much batter on him as possible. Pulling away, she couldn’t hold the laughter back, leaning against the counter to keep her up. “Merlin, I never thought I’d say this to someone, but cookie batter is definitely your colour – oh, and I think I got a chocolate chip stuck in there as well.” Bringing her fingers up to her mouth, she licked off whatever was left of the batter, before wiping her fingers on one of the tea towels stacked behind her.

[lance-davenport]

"It's more than a little white lie. Apparently I'm nothing but a big white liar cause that was too much for me," Lance crinkled his nose, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. It was easy to smile around her, because it was like being around Valerie again — but he knew better. He knew this was not her. Distracted momentarily by his thoughts he felt something smudge against his face, gooey and fingers brush along his trimmed beard. His eye s flashed to her, she was smile and laughing as though it was the funniest thing in the world. His blue eyes watched as she spoke, the way her face moved and continued as she drew one digit into her mouth. A small part of him couldn't keep his eyes off the motion — he was undoubtedly distracted, but not for long. He gave a nod and continued to nod for a few moments. He contemplated his decisions and came to the choice that payback was in order. he scooped his hand into the bowl, allowing two fingers of his own to be covered in the mix before reaching towards her and wiping it down he cheek with a satisfied nod.

[marie-dubois]

mess of your soul

Standing back as the kitchen elves pulled out everything she would need for cookies, Marie clapped her hands together, moving towards the counter to inspect the items. She kept her hands together and close to her chest, trying to keep them steady and give herself an air of confidence, because Merlin knew that flew out the window whenever Lance was around. She couldn’t put a finger on the odd feeling she got around him, there was an odd sense of safety around him, she wasn’t afraid of the accusing and angry glares that she found herself at the receiving end of, but that feeling of safety scared her. How did someone she had only been around for a few days elicit such a strong feeling? Shaking her head, in attempts to shake the thoughts away, and began busying herself with the ingredients. It didn’t take long for her to whisk it together, adding more chocolate chips than needed. “Alright, we I think this is ready to be tested. Are you sure you are mentally and emotionally prepared for this taxing job? Taste testing is quite serious.” Biting down on her lip, she couldn’t keep her the corners of her lips from turning up into a smile, walking over to the boy, placing the bowl down in front of him. “Go on then!”

[marie-dubois]

[lance-davenport]

A few steps away, Lance watched with a tilt of his head as she waited, the small elves skittering around to get her ingredients. He could see in every gesture, every move, in the way she seemed to inspect the things around her — all like Valerie. They could have been twins, identical down to their behaviors. He stepped forward, close enough to inspect, but not be in the way. He was silent as he watched her, as he often was — a result of the war. He wondered what would have been different if he had Valerie or Mackenzie with him, and despite the pain that choked at him, he remained quiet. The only noise coming from him was small shuffling noises as he watched her work. It was almost soothing, the way her eyes would shift to what she needed and would stir things together in a even paced way. Like a potion… without the newt eyes and toad legs. As she spoke, his eyes snapped to hers, his full attention on her. He soaked in her expression, fighting the pain of seeing her there. He shook his head, "No, I don't think I am." His tone was joking, but his feelings were just that. He wasn't mentally or emotionally ready to willingly place himself in her presence, but she didn't deserve him treating her terrible just because of her genetics. He eyed the way her teeth grabbed onto her lip — it was done in such a familiar way. His gaze flicked down to the bowl in front of him and he stuck a tentative index finger out to pick up a corner of the mix in front of him. Lance rose it to eye level, playfully narrowing his eyes at it before sticking the finger into his mouth. He made different faces as he tasted it, "Yeah. I think I'm emotionally drained at that experience. If I have to do it again, then you're going to have to find someone else… otherwise? Quite good."

[marie-dubois]

Either way, I’d rather you not get negative attention because of me, these people are you friends, so that will be the end of that. [Chuckles, shaking her head at him.] Lowly? You’ve got a name that resembles an arthurian knight, I’m sure the title of Knight is much more prestigious than a simple profession cookie batter taster.

[lance-davenport]

[smiles a little] When you say it like that, then I will. Not much room for arguing. It is close to the name, but not actually it. Well a simple profession might suit me; however, in the mean time, we should get you to the kitchens. Dinner should be over soon, and if we move with the crowds, no one will notice us slip off.

[marie-dubois]

Merlin, no, I’d rather not have any more attention directed my way, and if people start throwing punches, it’ll just lead back to me. [Chuckles, shaking her head.] Well, I will thank my lucky stars that I’ve managed to near perfect my cleaning charms. Anyways, I need someone to test the batter before I began putting them onto the pan, I just have this thing with testing things I make myself – it’s much easier knowing if you’re doing things right with someone else opinion. You think you can handle the position of being a professional cookie batter tester?

[lance-davenport]

It could, or it could lead back to me — either way we'll let it slide this time.[ drops his gaze as a twitch of a smile pulls at his lips] Oh that's reassuring, but I might be able to out–mess you. Well I don't do much taste testing, but I might be able to put my big boy underwear on and handle such a prestigious title. Lowly me, I shall be a prestigious professional cook batter tester. [nods, trying to keep the small smile on his lips as memories plagued him]

[marie-dubois]

Here is to hoping they won’t notice me, that way the unpleasantness could be avoided. [Grins, picking up her fork to finish off the fruit in her bowl.] Tonight would be great. I’ll have you know, I’m quite the baker - and quite the professional at making a mess.

[lance-davenport]

You shouldn't have to avoid it — that's what I mean. Here's to hoping that I catch one of them treating you wrong so I could sock 'em in the eye. [Glances to her plate, recalling his strawberry and glancing to that before looking back to her] Sounds like a plan then. Oh really? You've never met me. I don't know much about baking, but I've always been good at making messes.

[marie-dubois]

Seriously, it’s fine. I mean, I can’t blame him for being angry, seemed like he knew her closely. [Smile growing on her face, she bit her lip.] You don’t think… Well, could you sneak me in there? It’s just, I’ve been feeling a little homesick, and I’m hoping your kitchen elves won’t mind if someone sneaks in to make a batch cookies.

[lance-davenport]

Well there was a lot of people, you can't let them all yell at you. [Raises his eyebrow at her, and nods as she speaks] If you want me to? Yeah. We've gotta welcome you with something better than embarassment and yelling. Hogwarts is doing a terrible job of being nice to the Beauxbatons girl. You wanna do that tonight?

[lovefron]

[marie-dubois]

It was more of a quick questioning, didn’t really get a name. It’s fine, I really don’t think I’ll be seeing much of them anyways. [Bites her lips, a mischievous smile spreading across her lips.] Hopefully I find a way to sneak around them, I forgot to pack something to keep stashed around the room.

[lance-davenport]

If you really think so, I mean... you shouldn't have to put up with people treating you wrong just because you've got a similar face. [fiddles with the strawberry some before turning to her with a light chuckle] Shouldn't be too hard. They're in the basement, right under neath this halls. With a portrait as the door way.

[marie-dubois]

Not intentionally…it was nothing really. He confused me with your friend, it was just strange. [Raises a brow, smiling.] You don’t get caught? Isn’t there anyone patrolling?

[lance-davenport]

He? What's he look like? Did he say a name? [lets the smile pull at the corner of his lips] There's always the chance, and yeah the teachers and the prefects patrol. If you're smart you don't get caught and the elves love to have company.

[marie-dubois]

I can’t really blame them, most have them have been nice enough about it.[Frowns at his empty plate, tossing a strawberry into it.] You should eat, I’m not sure what your kitchen situation around here is, but they would not let you eat past the allotted times at Beauxbatons.

[lance-davenport]

Most? Did someone give you a hard time? [watched the strawberry land into his plate, his hand reaching towards it to fiddle with it before popping it into his mouth -- the taste wasn't as he remembered it, but it still wasn't a favorite he decided] We just sneak back in after dinner because there's only the elves in the kitchens and they seem to like the company. I'm not used to the three full meals a day thing though.