Twisted

Landon Sparks, 22, Music Major.  I don't have time or energy for stupidity so please just keep it all at bay.

[amani-jaiden]

  I don’t want your nasty mouth on my spoon. I know where it’s been!

[landonxsparks]

On your dick is where it's been.

[amani-jaiden]

  I suppose I can settle for that. You’ve got to spoon feed me though.

[landonxsparks]

Okay but I might eat half of it if I'm controlling the spoon.

[archerok]

  Did you know that just by glancing at a person you love, this chemical in your body called Oxytocin releases? Not to be confused with the drug Oxycontin, of course.

[landonxsparks]

Well I'm pretty familiar with the effects of Oxycontin if it's anything like that.

[amani-jaiden]

  So says the walking, talking bean pole. Nah, I hate snickers. Buy me reese’s and I’ll reconsider those snuggles you asked for.

[landonxsparks]

What about a Reese's blast from Dairy Queen?  Those are fuckin great.

[amani-jaiden]

  Everyone sees you picking on my poor little innocent kitty. Fatboy is an extension of myself. If you can’t appreciate him and his robustness, you can’t fully appreciate me. Also you’re ugly.

[landonxsparks]

Just cause he's fat doesn't mean I don't love him.  I love you even though you skinny as fuck don't I?  Damn, you need a snickers.

[archerok]

  Quite the biased opinion, don’t you think?

[landonxsparks]

Probably, but I love the guy so it doesn't matter.

[maxwell-bradleyrp-blog]

  I only eat bacon cheeseburgers. I would’ve walked out if they didn’t have bacon cheeseburgers. 

[landonxsparks]

I may hate you a little less.

[archerok]

Stubborn and a bad taste in men. At least you have your confidence.

[landonxsparks]

Stubborn, yes, bad taste in men is debatable.  I've got a pretty hot boyfriend so I'd say I did okay.

[amani-jaiden]

  You can’t talk shit about my baby like that!

[landonxsparks]

I can and I did.  It's just the truth, he is fat.

[maxwell-bradleyrp-blog]

I finally found a nice little diner to do sketches in. Plus their burgers are to die for.

[landonxsparks]

Do they have a bacon cheeseburger?

[amani-jaiden]

  Nope. Fatboy is the only one who makes the cut now. He’s my ride or die.

[landonxsparks]

He's too fat to ride.

[archerok]

  Hmm, possibly. Lucky enough for you, I’m willing to help out. Anything for charity.

[landonxsparks]

Well I don't.  Also I'm not a charity case, and you're not my type.

[amani-jaiden]

  You little shit, I hate you.

[landonxsparks]

I'm pretty sure you love me.

[archerok]

  Does a hippie aesthetic help you get laid?

[landonxsparks]

Do I look like I need help getting laid?

[amani-jaiden]

  Landon I swear you say that one more time and I’m gonna disown you too.

[landonxsparks]

Relax, I'm only joking, I know it makes you mad so it makes me laugh.

[archerok]

  Sounds like you’re really finding yourself.

[landonxsparks]

On a deep and spiritual level.

[amani-jaiden]

  *cats

[landonxsparks]

How many times do we need to discuss the fact that Fatboy is your child?