Construyendo Nuestra Pared

Learning to love humbly, justly, and with compassion. Seminary. Immigration. Theology. Racial Justice. Marriage. Parenting. Music. Bilingual.

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Together

The darkness called And instead of running away We turned toward its voice that told the truth

Every step rooted in fear And hope We walk together Through the storm. The darkness is not ours to manage Or contain But we are given into One another’s care.

We choose… To stretch out our arms Toward our neighbor… To open our hands Exchanging gifts… To join our feet In the movement Of resistance.

My body Could be a weapon But I choose To be an instrument Of peace. I am Part Of a symphony. Beautiful bodies Taking injustice apart Brick by brick Word by word.

Creating the new Ecology Meant for all Drowning none

Liberation Is not a system But an expanse

Where the stars Hold the key To what is true

Unhindered dreams And visions And hopes And possibilities And beauty And the still unimagined

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Unbinding Hands

Exodus 22:21 CEB:

“Don’t mistreat or oppress an immigrant, because you were once immigrants in the land of Egypt.”

We have been engaged in a tense - sometimes explosive - dialogue about immigration policy. What does it mean when we are given the above directive and find ourselves confronting 12 million undocumented citizens? How do we treat well those our culture tells us to fear? About 75 Presbyterians and friends came together in November to join the conversation.

At the program titled, “Welcoming the Stranger: Conversations About Immigration” participants had the opportunity to learn about the history of U.S. immigration policy. Since the very first immigration law passed in 1790, racial-ethnic background has been a determining factor in eligibility for legal residency and citizenship. For most of the 20th century a quota system was in place that exempted people from western Europe. Policy toward the turn of the century drastically changed the landscape of U.S. immigration, and a great deal of policy since the 1990’s has been developed by and for the for-profit prison industry.

Following the discussion about the history of immigration, we heard from the VACOLAO’s Government Relations Officer, Demas Boudreaux, with tips for advocacy. UPSem student Lauren Voyles, spoke of her experience as a YAV at the Mexico-U.S. border. Three residents who emigrated from Mexico shared reflections about what it’s like to be a stranger here. A US Citizen described her struggle to navigate the US “legal” immigration system with her African husband. All of the speakers then sat on a panel to answer questions from the very engaged audience.

We are told to welcome the stranger and care for the oppressed, but how?

In Virginia, we have the opportunity right now to advocate for our sisters and brothers from foreign lands; people who have been excluded from fully engaging in our culture and economy. Six state legislators have introduced bills to expand driving privileges to those currently excluded for no reason other than immigration status. As my husband - a Mexican immigrant who was undocumented for ten years - explains:

I felt like I always had one hand tied behind my back. Every day I worked in back-breaking labor to take care of my family. I would give anything - even my life - for them. But I didn’t have opportunities to make a better life for one reason - I couldn’t drive. If I drive without a license and get stopped for any reason - even just a tail light is out - I could find myself in jail and then deported, with my wife and son, who are US Citizens, left behind. That driver’s license that I finally got after ten years allows me to take care of my family like when our second baby was born in an emergency, to take my sons to daycare, to work at a better job, to be independent, to pick up something for dinner on my way home. My wife used to drive me to work and pick me up every day. She is a US Citizen, but that meant her hands were tied, too.

The transportation sub-committees will be hearing these bills, and I will be there offering testimony in their support. God’s will is to loosen the chains of oppression and these bills will free the captive hands of people like my husband. I will be there because this is one way to offer a better welcome, remembering that we were once strangers, too.

To learn more:

http://www.pewhispanic.org/2015/09/28/selected-u-s-immigration-legislation-and-executive-actions-1790-2014/

https://youtu.be/gF12SgkQKKk

https://vimeo.com/146642258

http://www.pcusa.org/news/2015/1/21/journeying-in-hope/

http://oga.pcusa.org/section/mid-council-ministries/immigration/immigration-legislation/

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Saints and Sisters

You know, I think I have a fairly interesting life.  A few strikingly different career starts. Folk-dancing with Bolivians. Living and worshiping as a minority in a predominantly African American community. Getting robbed as a bank teller. Witnessing a kidnapping (all ended well) in front of my house. Marrying an amazing man - who happens to be Mexican.  Traveling to Cuba. And Brazil. And Haiti. And Ecuador. And now Mexico. Speaking at immigration rallies.  Attending seminary.  Meeting with Congressmen in DC.  Experiencing infertility.  Experiencing motherhood.  Most recent challenge - new baby in NICU. Lots of ups. Lots of downs. And immense amounts of learning.  Through it all, a steady light, a low soothing hum, a warm covering has carried me.  Call them saints.  I call them sisters.

I have one sister by birth.  She is 4 years younger than I am.  Too close for me to appreciate being the helper and too far for us to play the same games growing up.  Now, as adults, 4 years is nothing. We got engaged the same year, married the same year, and became mothers the same year. We have had nasty feuds (okay. I'm usually the one feuding while she takes it in stride.) and wonderful shared memories.  If you know me, you would probably find it very interesting to know my sister.  We have a lot of the same talents and interests, but strikingly different personalities.  Extravert, Introvert.  Out-going, reserved.  Hot-blooded, chill.  We are so much the same and so very different.  And here we are, at every milestone, one another's biggest supporters.  Sisters.

Verito became my sister in high school.  She was an exchange student, we were her host family.  She is the younger of two sisters and I am the older but we are the same age. After the year was over and she went back to Ecuador we spoke only on special occasions.  We went to visit once and my mind was blown (proving how small it was) at the similarities in our family dynamics. 5 years later Verito got on a plane to be a bridesmaid in my wedding.  She is very intuitive and sensitive to other people's emotions.   Her presence kept me from turning into a complete bridezilla - I only got to about 90%. 4 months later she was back to be in Lindsay's wedding - and fell in love with the best man!  Now she is here, experiencing motherhood and a cross-cultural, intersectional marriage just like Lindsay and me.

In high school I cycled quickly through friendships with girls, and mostly hung out with guys.  In college guys started to look a lot more like predators - especially in the south where more traditional gender roles are expected - and I really, really craved fellowship with women.  My best friend pledged a sorority, to my surprise (after all, she is super quirky!) and for the first time I seriously considered pledging, too.  So I did.  Naturally, there was some drama.  A few sisters I couldn't find anything in common with.  But most of us had pledged our sorority out of a desire for a safe space to be women, be friends who could fight and make up, establish roots among our peers.  After transferring to a new school I desperately longed for my sisters.  Hours and hours were spent on the phone with those who wore the same letters.  Years passed and most communication was lost until the babies started coming.  A great deal of parenting advice and encouragement has come from my Tri-Sigma sisters.  I am so thankful for these remarkable women!  When MIqueas was born 6 weeks early due to a medical emergency, sisters called, messaged, encouraged, prayed.  My grand-little immediately put together the PERFECT care package.  She sent a separate card and stickers for Kaliel, giving him some much needed attention while Miko was still in the hospital nursery. Sisterhood. I love our motto: Faithful unto death.  It's even memorialized in a tattoo on my shoulder!

I wondered if and when I would begin to see the blessings that crop up unexpectedly and uninvited during seasons of despair.  They were evident in the timing of Kaliel's birth after years of infertility.  Peace and joy overtook me long before we knew the outcome of our immigration journey.  

But where does one find peace or joy with a little baby in the hospital, a little boy waiting for you at home, and a surgical wound that didn't want to heal?  

Miko's birth was traumatic physically, psychologically, emotionally.  For weeks - even after leaving the hospital - I had reactions similar to trauma victims every time I thought about it.  So much grief overtook me as I mourned the birth he DIDN'T have.  I wanted to have good memories of the beginning of his life, but all I found was despair, pain and fear.  Until just the past couple of weeks.  One night I allowed my mind to wander back to that precipice and instead of despair I found... sisterhood.  Quiet presence.  Thoughtful presents.  Compassion. Patience. Strength.

Some women I consider my closest friends.  Others I barely knew, but they knew me because they had been me with a baby in NICU.  Now when I think about those weeks in the hospital, I remember the low lights highlighting the faces of amazing women.  Out of 3 weeks, I think there were only 2 days without visitors.  This is not to discount the men who bravely visited the new mama and baby.  But to honor the strength and dignity of women.  When we enter a space, we do not bring just our physical selves.  We bring our foremothers.  We bring the perseverance that has struggled to uphold our dignity since the beginning of the world.  I choose not to remember the despair anymore. Now I hear your voices encouraging, entertaining, showing compassion.  I feel you listen intently to the same story over and over as I struggled to process what had happened.  And I carry with me the strength in that space.  In your space.  I am thankful  for this overwhelming pouring out of sisterhood.

Sisterhood. It is the force that throws the status quo out the window. Calls for justice always, always are spoken by a woman's voice.  Where oppressed people struggle for freedom, women are there, pushing obstacles out of the way.  When indignities affront a body of people, women speak truth to the powers allowing them to occur.  We do not give up or become complacent.  We persevere. We encourage. We show compassion. We listen.  Women need to fill up more spaces.  We are saints. And we are sisters.

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Moral Choice and Unauthorized Immigration

A Seminary colleague reached out to me today with the question that follows.  It is a question many have asked, and I myself did not understand until meeting Alfredo’s homeland.  I hope this is a helpful perspective for those who want to know more about immigration and the people who courageously uproot their lives in search of something more.  In my responses I try to emphasize less offensive language that you can use in discussing the issue.

"I am wondering about the basic moral dilemma that immigrants face when they make the decision to do so illegally. I want to understand what makes choosing the legal route an impossibility for so many. Before I go any further in my thinking and jumping to erroneous conclusions I am hoping you might be able to fill me in."

Well, there are multiple facets to this of course. The first and foremost is that for most immigrants who enter without inspection, there is literally no access to our immigration system. To access it, one must have very strong family ties or a guaranteed offer of employment in addition to wealth in the country of origin. The second thing is that it’s honestly not a moral dilemma at all.

I am ashamed to say that I didn’t fully grasp that until visiting Alfredo’s hometown this summer. The idea of it being morally “wrong” just doesn’t exist there. Prior to the Reagan administration, migrant workers crossed back and forth with ease. Less than 40% came and stayed. After his *actual* amnesty (as opposed to what Obama just did), Reagan signed legislation militarizing the border. Since 1986, many more immigrants have simply decided to stay here for safety reasons rather than go back and forth seasonally for work, and their permanent relocation has the *mainstream* in a tizzy. However, this was only one generation ago, maybe two. So people like Alfredo grew up with the stories of uncles and cousins who crossed back and forth for seasonal work when it was no big deal. Many of his relatives were able to adjust their status in the U.S. as access to the system was not yet blocked.

Now add to that the 1996 legislation that hyper-militarized the border. This effectively prevented - and continues to prevent - access to the system for any immigrant who has been here for over 180 days without documentation through imposing mandatory, automatic immigration bars. After 180 days of unauthorized presence in the U.S., a three year bar is automatically applied upon leaving the country. After one year of unauthorized presence in the U.S., undocumented immigrants are barred for ten years upon leaving. Those who have entered without documentation more than once are barred for life upon leaving. After receiving a deportation order an additional bar of 5-20 years applies. All of those bars must be spent outside of the U.S., except for the few who are lucky enough to be eligible for a waiver, and if the highly subjective waiver happens to be approved. However, with the lifetime bar imposed above, one must wait outside the U.S. for ten years before becoming eligible to file a waiver. In light of that, consider that over 80% of Latino families include both documented and undocumented immigrants, and roughly 1.5 million US citizens are married to undocumented immigrants. Who is going to wait ten years away from family?

There are many other technical violations that are given lifetime bars for which no waiver exists.  One example is false claim to citizenship.  This sounds like a serious crime, but it is often as trivial as the passenger in a car at a traffic stop nodding yes to a question asked in a language not understood.  There are many others, and one organization working to overcome these bars in certain cases is American Families United.

Now, the cultural pieces are really difficult to convey without spending time in its native location. Culturally, morality has nothing to do with following laws (which, in countries like Mexico, are not enforced).  Moral choices involve how one treats other human beings.  Breaking the law does not make a person immoral; failing to show hospitality does. The other major cultural piece I honestly didn’t understand until traveling to Mexico this summer, and I’ve had to ask for Alfredo’s forgiveness for being so callous before. (I have often wondered aloud how someone with such great character could make such a poor choice, viewing his unauthorized entry as his great ethical mistake.)

He grew up in a tiny, impoverished, rural village. It is a three hour drive to the nearest city. In his river village the economy is stagnant as the fishing industry was effectively wiped out by an oil spill several years ago. A few industrious people have tried to start businesses there, but as soon as they become profitable the cartels come in and demand a big chunk of the profits - essentially a ‘tribute’.  I mean, this is mafia-run feudalism in the 21st century. If business owners can’t pay what the cartels demand, they are ruthlessly murdered, along with their families. Alfredo’s uncle was shot in front of his wife in the middle of the day. No investigation took place. As long as the people in his isolated town don’t do anything to make money they are safe from the cartels, so his town is mostly poor and safe.

Then there are some students who go away to city universities, usually in Veracruz as it is the closest big university.  The young cab driver who picked us up from the airport had taken this route. Two years prior he went off to school to escape his impoverished village. Walking back from class one day, he and a friend stumbled upon 22 severed human heads.  At the height of cartel activity in Veracruz, something like 80 people - chosen at random - were decapitated in one night.  It was horrifying.  Now the Mexican Marines have taken control of the city and state.  It is completely militarized, far beyond anything we’ve seen in this country.  After this incident, the cab driver quit school and went home to relative safety.

The ‘choices’ we presume that they have don’t exist. Violence or extreme poverty, with no discernible end in sight, ARE their choices.

Complicating the climate of poverty and violence - or perhaps fueling it - is a completely corrupt government from the top down (which the U.S. helped to install). The rule of law means nothing in countries where the government is complicit in kidnappings and mass murders (see Ayotzinapa).  Most Mexicans aren’t thinking about following laws; they are consumed with staying out of the cartels’ radar.  So for them, entering the US without authorization is not a moral dilemma. It’s a safety dilemma. The moral choice is to risk crossing the border in order to provide for family members who are relatively safe but trapped in desperate poverty.

This is far more complicated than I realized, which is why I wanted to hear from you. I imagined there was much more to the story which is not being told and therefore not being heard in any whole or real sense.

Corruption in both sides of the armed wall make this issue incredibly difficult to navigate. Meanwhile it is the marginal and vulnerable who suffer.

Exactly.

The dialogue we have here around so-called “illegal immigration” is irrelevant to those who come and doesn’t make any sense according to our own laws.

From what you have shared, the politicians’ positions seem like self aggrandizement.

They totally are. When I listen to their statements it is so clear that they either have no idea what our laws are or they are just trying to manipulate people to support a racist agenda.  My trips to Washington suggest that they literally have no clue.  Many were surprised to learn that marrying a U.S. citizen doesn’t create a path to residency - and that law is 18 years old. Many of these guys voted for it!

I think maybe what they don’t get is precisely what you articulated, through Mexican government corruption and inefficiency the people have no knowledge of or access to a proper knowledge of and access to the legal system. Nothing will change until something changes in that situation. We can dance all over this law and that law that assume people realize that what they are doing is illegal in the first place. They don’t. That makes them not criminals but victims of criminals in their own government.

What a horrible travesty. Thank you for all of this input. I’ve never had the opportunity to experience their situation even as an outsider being invited in to work alongside in mission. I admit that I’ve avoided mission in places where government is unstable.

You have to go where you’re called, and have the wisdom to know where you’re not. But even if Veracruz, Mexico is not your mission field, you can help SO MUCH just by sharing the truth with people who have only been told lies.

It’s hard to have any hope for this country when everything coming from the mainstream media has no basis in fact or reality.

I am terribly frustrated by that. It’s one thing for politicians to be misguided, it’s a complete other problem when the media sources are.

Yes; they should be doing their research and calling out the politicians who are - whether intentionally or not - spreading misinformation.  I wish I knew how to change it, but I don’t.

Precisely. Dang. Believe me, this has earned a huge spot in my heart. I want to continue to be informed about it…

Now I feel like I have an insider’s view from you and from Alfredo. Just know, I want to know and I want to do what I can when I can.

My friend’s humble request for first (well, second) hand information warms my heart.  Please take the time to educate your family and friends on the truth behind unauthorized immigration.  There is a lot more to it that I couldn’t cover in this one conversation/post (ie. trade agreements and the history of Central American gangs), but I hope this helps to see why our national dialogue is irrelevant and must be changed in order to have a productive conversation about this humanitarian crisis.

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Rough Edges

My two beloved boys entered the world so differently, and their arrivals have had profoundly different effects on me.  I've been thinking about how during my first pregnancy a lot of my "rough edges" melted away.  When Kaliel was born it was a wonderful, magical space and time really seemed to stand still.  This second pregnancy began (before I had any idea) with a trip to Capitol Hill, lobbying for immigration reform, fighting for my family and so many others whose hope is lost.  We had to ask for a lot of help to complete the process, leaving us feeling both incredibly loved and incredibly broken.  My thyroid went crazy and I had to ask for a lot of grace in classes.  In August Alfredo found a worrisome lump.  The Friday before Miko was born he had it removed.  Miko's entry into the world was not magical.  It was not wonderful.  It was not filled with joy or peace.  This was the most fearful place I have ever been. The deepest despair I have ever known.  Now he is okay.  But the day he was born and for two days after nobody would give us a prognosis - "We just have to wait and see.  It could go either way."  During the past few months and especially these last 3 weeks some of my rough edges are exposed again.  I love deeply and I fight fiercely.  Now that my little baby is home and doing well maybe those exposed wounds will begin to heal again.  We will just have to wait and see.

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The promise is for all of us

In many ways, I have identified with Sarah from the book of Genesis.  After a few years of infertility we received our son, and we have seen other blessings materialize that we had too little faith to expect.  Sarah was not always faithful, but God was.

Abraham and Sarah

Genesis 21:1-2

We have not always been faithful to God, but God has always been faithful to us.  While we were too busy salsa dancing on Saturday nights to get up for church on Sunday mornings people who loved us were praying for us and God heard those prayers.  We were living together and trying to decide if we should get married and try to fix Alfy’s papers or if he should go back to Mexico, ‘get in line’ to fix his papers and then come back.  Well, let me tell you something.  That line is literally a myth.  If Alfredo had gone back to Mexico he would not have been eligible to adjust his immigration status for 10 years.  If he had then snuck across the border a second time he would have been automatically smacked with a lifetime bar with no waiver.  But we didn’t know any of that.  For many reasons I am thankful that we decided to get married.  

A few months after we got married Alfredo got pulled over driving my car with expired inspection AND expired registration.  As a white woman, I had been driving my car around oblivious to such things with no worries.  But I married a man of color.  He drove it once and got pulled over.  A few weeks later sitting in traffic court with me and my dad, he faced a judge who very seriously considered throwing him in jail, which most likely would have resulted in a deportation order.  After several seconds that felt like hours, the judge gave Alfredo a hefty fine and let him go.  

A few years ago we were feeling lonely and unhappy in our church.  No other couples were our age and everyone except Alfy was white.  We didn’t feel like we could share our burden of immigration even though we really needed people to pray with us and encourage us.  I was pleading with God for a church that would welcome us.  Quite by accident, we stumbled into EEF.  I met David Bailey, told him I was in Seminary, and he asked if I wanted to do an internship.  Just like that, we became part of this community.  I know it’s hard to see from the outside, but EEF is not perfect.  It’s a broken community full of broken people.  Most of us who talk a lot about racial reconciliation have to admit, if we’re really honest, we have no idea what we’re doing.  But I’ll tell you something that has been amazing in this community.  You listen.  You listen to the teaching of Jesus Christ and you listen to each other.  You have listened to us.  We found a safe place to share our story and a community that has literally stood with us along the way.

Last January we asked you all to pray with us as we prepared our waiver package to have Alfredo’s ten year bar from the US forgiven.  You prayed.  You rallied.  You wrote awesome letters of support.  You called our elected officials.  God answered.  Our waiver was approved.  Then we had to go to Mexico for Alfredo’s interview where our fate would be sealed for the next ten years.  The trip was expensive.  We had finally reached the last step in a lengthy and expensive process - about $10,000 start to finish - but we couldn’t pay for the trip.  You all prayed.  You donated.  You offered encouragement.  You hired Alfredo and told your neighbors about a talented carpenter in the area.  He had enough work for us to save half of the funds we needed and the other half was donated.  It was amazing and more than we ever hoped for.

We asked you to pray for our travels.  Only one flight was delayed.  We asked you to pray for Alfredo’s interview.  He was approved quickly with no problem.  We asked you to pray for our reunion with Alfredo’s family.  It was indescribable.  God has truly been good.  All of those prayers have been answered and we can only attribute it to a faithful God and a faithful community.

Now we’re back and trying to figure out what this new life of freedom means.  We are trusting God to faithfully protect and restore our marriage - neither of us realized before how much of our bond was based on overcoming immigration and now we have to fully trust each other to stay in it because of love.  We are trusting God as Alfredo works hard to get his business off the ground - it’s a lot more complicated than we realized.  We are trusting God with our dreams that we never dared to say out loud before because we were afraid of having them ripped away from us.  We are trusting that the God who has been faithful before will be faithful now and in all the days to come.

I want to tell you, though, that the first month of being back in the US was the deepest darkness we have ever known.  Our prayers were answered, but everywhere we looked people were hopeless. Why was God only answering our prayers? Why approve Alfy instead of immigration reform to help millions?

Genesis 21:14-16

It is easy to list the ways that our prayers have been answered and identify the ways that God has been faithful to the Martinez family, but it is hard to talk about it in a world where so many people are still waiting.  It’s hard to talk about it because two days after Alfredo’s consular interview where his Green Card was approved my good friend Madina’s husband was deported to Bangladesh.  It’s hard to stand here with my beautiful pregnant belly and talk about God’s faithfulness knowing the emptiness that burdens some of your arms.  It’s hard to talk about a God who is faithful in a room with so many people who fear that they themselves or their loved ones might leave the house and get shot by someone who looks like me.  And I think it’s a very honest response to say wow, that’s great for Lana and Alfredo.  God has really been faithful to them.  But I guess the promise isn’t for me. And you want to do what Hagar did - to go away where you can no longer hear the pleading cries of dying black men and starving immigrant children and your own empty womb and wait to die.  But I promise you - this is not the end of the story.

Read Genesis 21:17-19

God sends a messenger to show Hagar water.  Her life and her son’s life are preserved.  But not only that - The promise that God gave to Abraham and Sarah? The one about how they would have all of these descendants who would receive the blessing?  Hagar receives the same promise.  She and Ishmael go off to Egypt, she finds an Egyptian wife for her son, and he becomes the father of the Ishmaelites.  

Hagar did not know that the promise was for her.  She saw it’s fulfillment in Isaac’s birth when Sarah and Abraham were like 1000 years old.  But she did not know that the Hebrew God had included her, a simple maidservant - an Egyptian maidservant, in the promise.  She wept in despair when her food and water ran out rather than cry out for mercy or trust in a faithful God.  Hagar had zero expectations of being rescued.  And yet, even in her disbelief, in her giving up, in her life as a single mom from a foreign tribe, God was faithful.  The promise was for her and nobody even knew it!  

So I’m not saying these words lightly, but with great seriousness: The promise is for you.  It is for me, and it is for you. It is for men of color who are profiled walking down the street and it is for refugee children sleeping in warehouses at the US Mexico border. And it is up to all of us to share that message with the world. Jesus Christ DIED because he was insisting that nobody was outside of the promise.  The promise is for you.  we ALL bear the image of God and we have ALL received the promise.

[laparedmartinez]

Daring to Dream

Last night I couldn't sleep as I was thinking about the tremendous way in which my life has recently changed.  For the past almost-8 years that Alfredo and I have been together we haven't been able to get too attached to any of our dreams, because we didn't know where we would end up living, or when, or how it would come to pass.  Maybe I never realized how much this affected my approach to life.  Specifically, I find myself wishing that I could take all of my classes over again.  Yep - all of them.  I don't want to go back in time because I don't think I would do things differently.  I don't regret the ambivalence with which I approached my studies in the face of truly more urgent matters, but I long for the pieces of my education that fell by the wayside because the burden of immigration was - at times - too much to bear.  This is what we are struggling with now.  Daring to dream.  Naming the desires of our hearts.  Discovering those dreams that have been deeply rooted for so long but never nurtured, pruned or encouraged.  I wonder what this means for us now?  It is incredibly intimidating, at 30 years old, to finally name the thing I want and to know that it is up to me to chase it.  I hesitate to sow these hopes because I know that some of them will be harvested in disappointment.  And the hopes to be sown are not just mine; they are ours.  

Yesterday, on a rare 'date' with my husband, I looked across my coffee at him and said, "You know, I truly believe you can do anything.  Not just because I love you, though that is one reason for my affection, but because you are so smart, so talented, and so driven.  You look at a thing, decide you want to do it, and succeed.  So I know your business will be the same."  This confidence perpetually draws me to Alfredo because it is something I lack when it comes to my own ambitions.  Sure, I'm confident that I'm a generally good person, intelligent, and comfortable in my own skin, but I've got very little confidence in my ability to chase and achieve my dreams.  But, I think it's time.  I've been in a season of preparation, experiencing life in ways that most people are oblivious to, and despite the debilitating weight of what we have endured - I would not trade it.  I think it's time to acknowledge the gifts that have been nurtured and molded and put them to use.  I think it's time to say YES! I want to finish Seminary!  I want to be ordained!  And I want to communicate what I have learned with a larger audience!  I want to be a hands-on mom AND I want a fulfilling career that will give me a platform to advocate for justice and compassion.  

Lots of things keep me up at night, and to tell the truth they rarely have anything at all to do with my family.  I lament the horrible way we receive refugee kids; I cry over the so-called justice system that criminalizes communities of color; I grieve for Muslims and Jews and Christians who are all being persecuted in the Middle East.  But more and more, I lay awake wondering how to navigate this new freedom to dream and whether or not I can pass the road test to embark on the journey.  So here is to dreaming. To freedom. To sowing hopes that might be harvested in failure, believing that some will flourish beyond my wildest imagination.

[laparedmartinez]

Is Honey Maid's "This Is Wholesome" theological?

This was an assignment (that I loved!) for my theology class.  We were asked to select a "cultural artifact" (virtually anything) and analyze theological themes represented in our selection.  Agreement with Honeymaid's theology is not the point (although clearly I am sympathetic to some of it myself), but rather careful analysis.  This is of course from my Liberal Evangelical Protestant Christian PC(USA) location.  I would love to hear analyses from different theological perspectives!

Theological Motifs in Honey Maid’s “This Is Wholesome” and Response to Negative Feedback

Honey Maid recently introduced an ad spot called “This Is Wholesome” featuring families whose authenticity has been long dismissed by society: a gay couple caring for their infant, a multi-racial couple and their children, a single dad, a military family, and a tatted up dad playing with his partner and daughter.  These families all defy stereotypes of the “Traditional American family”, yet embody love and acceptance.  I instantly fell in love with this commercial, one in a recent list of advertisements that actually seek to re-humanize those we have de-humanized for so long.  Not everyone agreed with me.

Honey Maid received plenty of negative feedback, advising them that their commercial was NOT “wholesome” among other things.  Rather than dismiss those who were up in arms over their ‘affront’ to ‘values’, Honey Maid responded very creatively by affirming wholeheartedly those they originally highlighted and marginalizing the criticism in light of all the positive feedback they received.  My analysis focuses on this response in conversation with “This Is Wholesome”.

Eschatology and the World

In these clips, neither God nor religion are explicitly discussed or portrayed.  However, the creators clearly have a particular understanding of the world and our role in it.  I think the fact that they responded to criticism by reiterating their initial point highlights this.  The company stuck by those convictions and even expounded on them.

This short video response imagines the world in which we live, but it is a world without limits or barriers.  The possibilities are endless for families to be considered ‘wholesome’.  Ending with the triumph of love strikes me as very eschatological.  ‘Sin’, embodied in hateful comments, loses in the end to the greater force.  Honey Maid’s response indicates that this shift in the balance of power and restoration of human dignity can and is occurring in the here and now.  For me, this is a direct parallel to the Kingdom of God being borne among us.  It is both an eternal, other-worldly ideal and a present phenomenon meant to be brought about by the Holy Spirit’s work through the Church.  Acknowledging human brokenness, Honey Maid affirms and reaffirms the transformation occurring in our society that recognizes the love inherent in infinitely diverse family systems.

The world of Honey Maid’s ad and response is both chaotic and ordered, chance and design, mechanism and free-developing process.  Implied here, families are formed by chance - there is no way to predict with whom one may fall in love.  However, the diversity of families seems to be intentional.  The message is that we are meant to co-exist and thrive among diverse human beings; that living in diversity is exactly how we are designed to be most human.  The ebbs and flows of human conviction, morals, values, and acceptance are portrayed as freely developing.  No outside force is making humanity move in a particular direction.  However, one could argue that there IS in fact a mechanism at work - love.  Love forms families and empowers these families to fight for acceptance and dignity.  As members of our own families engage in marginalized relationships, the love we have for them acts as an agent of transformation.  

“This Is Wholesome” and Honey Maid’s response are rather humanist in their approach to deity.  Human beings have the agency to affect change in the world.  I would not say that God is absent.  “Love” becomes a metaphor for God (and salvation, and redemption, etc).  There is a definite implication that the higher power in the universe is benevolent, willing goodness and respect for everyone.  If God is knowable in this media world, it is through human interaction.  

Hamartiology and Humanity in “This Is Wholesome” and the response

Sinfulness, or brokenness, is portrayed as division and intolerance, including all the “-isms” we both exude and absorb every day.  The negative comments casting judgments on families embody sin in this commentary.  These comments dehumanize the families portrayed in and represented by “This Is Wholesome”.  Stripping humanity and dignity away from another, making them inferior, that is sin.  That is where humanity falls short again and again.  We have so much difficulty seeing value and points of connection in families that look different from our own.  

Honey Maid does not try to hide evil or dismiss it.  Rather, the company’s response to negativity seeks to overcome evil.  While evil is not disregarded as impotent, it is marginalized by the greater force of love.  If love here is a metaphor for God, evil does not challenge God’s existence or reality, but is embodied by those who have not yet arrived in full communion with God (love).  Evil expressed through hate and intolerance does not challenge the meaningfulness of life except for the individuals sending those loathsome statements into the universe.  Honey Maid affirms that negativity has no legs to stand on when it tries to go up against love.

Human beings are ever transforming, evolving, both personally and socially in these clips.  I think the premise of the response piece is that we are free to form our families and greater society in spite of the external pressures that intend to limit those choices.  We do not have to be limited.  We can instead look critically at those external pressures and determine whether or not they should influence our thinking and behavior.

Portraying humans as overwhelmingly good - Honey Maid makes a point of sharing that over 10 times as many responses to “This Is Wholesome” were positive in light of the loud and blaring negativity.  Perhaps the spot doesn’t go so far as to say that all humans are basically good, but that as a collective we are.  (Although, in “This Is Wholesome” affirming various types of families could make this argument that all people are basically good, or at least have the potential for it.)  Going back to my earlier thoughts, both clips are eschatological in nature as they envision the ideal, what could be, in our present reality.  The future, driven by love, lands in the present, where not everyone is ready to jump on board.  I think there is a great hope expressed for humanity both in the present and in the world to come.

Soteriology in “This Is Wholesome” and Honey Maid’s response

There is an overt suggestion, particularly in Honey Maid’s response, that humanity is saved - perhaps even redeemed - by love.  Portraying love as the ultimate force driving humanity and society sends the message that humanity’s short-comings are overcome by love.  In this clip, love literally covers up and drowns out hate.  As Andrew Solomon writes in The New Yorker online, “The pacing of the spot is impeccable: the first half turns hatred into love, and the second half provides evidence of love itself.”  This methodological approach is good marketing, as the article discusses, and speaks of deep moral conviction.

Michael Schein summarizes the message of Honey Maid’s commercial like this: “displays of real love can only be defined by one word—Wholesome.”  By using this traditional language to define non-traditional families, Honey Maid offers acceptance and affirmation to those who have long been marginalized.  Human beings who have been denied the dignity of having their families recognized as beacons of love and intimate bonding now have a powerful ally turning tradition on its head.  The de-humanized are re-humanized - and not in ‘Jim Crow terms’: families in this commercial are awarded FULL humanity, without limitation.  I cannot think of another secular artifact right now that more fully represents the Gospel message of redemption and love.

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Resurrection Day 2014 - he's a little boy now, no longer a baby

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A Lesson in Cross-Cultural Humility

Alfredo shares his thoughts on one of our recent... er... challenges, in Spanish, with the English translation following:

Hace 10 años atrás, a los 18 años de edad, tomé la decision de partir de casa y viajar a un país totalmente diferente, al norte,un país que mis alrededores identifica como un país de oportunidades y donde los sueños se vuelven  realidad.  Sueños que fueron cambiando su rumbo y sueños que parecían inalcanzables como aprender una profesión y ser dueño de un vehículo pasaron a ser pequeños sueños realizados que me llevaron a nuevos grandes sueños. Sueños que comienzan cuando por primera vez crucé miradas con mi hermosa esposa en un salsa club en el 2006.  Mi vida dio un giro total cuando iniciamos una relación.  Una relación que me enseñó mas de la cultura aquí en los Estados Unidos, incluyendo a darme cuenta la manera en que fallé al cruzar la frontera sin documentación y como estaba afectando la sociedad en este país, mas sin embargo decidí seguir las reglas de este país que desgraciadamente en mi país nadie me habló de ellas.  No cabe duda que Dios esta detrás de todo esto.

Mis suegros pasaron a ser mis papás. Me extendieron su mano y abrieron las puertas de su casa sin preguntas ni mal gesto. Empezamos a asistir a la iglesia, participar en un grupo de alabanza. Después de 3 años y medio decidimos unir nuestras vidas ante Dios y mas bendiciones empezaron a llover. Nuestras amistades fueron creciendo inmensamente y nació nuestro hijo Kaliel en 2012.  Poco a poco me fui dando cuenta que mi estatus estaba afectando mi matrimonio y no era capaz de apoyar a mi familia al 100%. (Empezamos el proceso de inmigración cuando nos casamos y todavía no los hemos acabado) Imagínate en una batalla con las manos atadas - así me siento, intentando ser un esposo y un padre ejemplar.  Dios concedió y concede tanto amor, paz y fe por medio de ustedes que me ha hecho ver que a quien le importa si me hubiesen negado el perdón - lo que importa es ver a mi comunidad unida. Hallelujah por la tremenda comunidad que se puso de pie junto a mi y me apoyó y me apoya sin mirar a mi pasado, mi diferente color de piel y cultura.  

En mi matrimonio que se unen dos culturas diferentes aun existen decisiones incomodas, como cuando me di cuenta que mi esposa estaba haciendo una recaudación de fondos para apoyarnos económicamente con el viaje a México para la entrevista con el consulado en donde me darán la visa - déjame repetir - ¡¡¡UNA VISA!!!  Guau. Un viaje que va a beneficiar visitando a mi madre después de 10 años.  Una madre que me enseño a trabajar desde pequeño y caminar con la frente en alto.  Créeme es difícil para mi aceptar que necesitamos ayuda económicamente, y no tengo palabras para explicar lo agradecido que estoy con todos ustedes que ya nos han brindado su apoyo moral y económico. Esto me hace ver que se necesita de una comunidad entera llena de fé y amor para mover montañas. Doy gracias a Dios por ustedes por ser parte de mi vida.  ¡Dios los bendiga, familia!

Ten years ago, at 18 years old, I made the decision to leave home and travel to a country totally different from the one I knew - a country that those around me saw as a land of opportunities and where dreams come true. Some dreams changed and took a different path, other dreams that seemed unreachable - like having a career and owning a vehicle - came true and led me to new, bigger dreams.  Dreams that started when, for the first time, I laid eyes on my beautiful wife in a salsa club in 2006.  My life made a 180 when we began our relationship. This relationship taught me more about the culture here in the United States, and as I learned I began to realize that crossing the border without papers was wrong, and how it was affecting US society.  Nevertheless, I decided to follow the rules of this country that, disgracefully, nobody in my country had told me about.  There can be no doubt that God was behind all of this.

My in-laws became my parents.  They embraced me with open arms and opened the doors of their home without questions or funny looks.  We began to attend church, participating in the praise band.  After 3 1/2 years we decided to unite our lives before God and more blessings began to rain down.  Our friendships were growing immeasurably and our son, Kaliel, was born in 2012.  Little by little I began to notice that my status as undocumented was affecting my marriage and I wasn't able to support my family with 100% of my ability.  (We started the immigration process when we got married, and 4 years later we are finally at the ending stage.)  Imagine being in a battle with your hands tied - that's how I feel trying to support my family, trying to be an excellent husband and father. But God has shown - and continues to show - so much love, peace and faith through all of you that I have come to realize that having my waiver approved didn't even matter in the end - I would still have my community and that is the most important thing.  Hallelujah for a tremendous community that has stood with me and supported me, continues to support me, without looking at my past, my different skin color or my different culture.  

In my cross-cultural marriage there are some uncomfortable decisions, and one of them is when I found out that my wife was making a fundraiser to help us financially  with the trip to Mexico for the consular interview where they will give me a Visa - let me repeat: A VISA!!!  Wow.  This trip that will include visiting my mother after ten years.  My mother who taught me a strong work ethic since I was small and taught me to always walk with my head up.  Believe me, it is hard for me to accept that we need financial help, and I don't have words to express how thankful I am to all of you who have given us the gift of moral and financial support.  This has made me see the desperate need we have of a community full of faith and love that can move mountains.  I thank God for all of you being part of my life.  God bless you, family!

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Undocumented immigrants just want a way to pay their debt to society and live and work honestly without having their families ripped apart for 5 years, 10 years, or even forever.  We need compassionate, family-centric reform.

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Some of the love from last night's fiesta!  

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Praying for #ImmigrationReform in September with two dedicated OFA organizers.  The prayers continue, but finally we can celebrate the turning tide...

Here is what comes next:

We request an interview with the US Consulate in Mexico

A couple months later we will be notified of the date of that interview

We will travel to Ciudad Juarez, Mexico for the interview, then spend a week or two with Alfy's mom in Veracruz waiting for his Visa to arrive

We will come home together and wait for Alfy's green card

We will throw a really big party!!!!

So basically, in 3-6 months this whole ordeal will be behind us.  So much reason to celebrate.  This truly is the victory of a community that has walked this journey with us.  There are many indications that family friendly reforms are coming soon, and we will continue fighting for that to happen.  I've learned more than I could ever hope to articulate during these difficult years.  Here are some of the most important lessons for me:

Community is essential.  We cannot change things alone.  We cannot weather life's storms alone.  We are made to be in community with one another, taking on each other's burdens.  They are so light when we carry them together, and we can walk so much further when the weight is distributed over more shoulders.

The truth will set you free.  No, really.  For a while we kept our struggle private.  We wondered why we didn't have profound friendships or find other people engaged in the immigration reform movement.  We cringed at the hateful things people said in our presence, completely unaware that they were talking about our family.  When we finally shared our struggle, we rejoiced at the outpouring of love and support we received.  People who had never bothered to think critically - or maybe even at all - about our immigration system began to take ownership of the issue.  Our relationships deepened, our support network multiplied, our voices were amplified.  Just telling the truth made all the difference.

Finally, I am daily becoming a more grateful person.  One cannot live in the shadow of constant fear of having your family ripped apart without warning or provocation and not appreciate the exquisite moments.  I have learned to be more fully present.  Tomorrow has never had any kind of assumption tied to it.  It was only ever the unknown.  For years I have operated under the mantra of "Today my family is together.  Today my family is safe.  Today my family is healthy.  I am blessed.  I am thankful.  God is good."  It is a sobering existence, but so divinely beautiful in the simplicity of just actively loving what is here now.  I have been privileged to know an incredibly courageous and powerful group of people these past few months.  The families of American Families United have lived this existence.  These families have, in many cases, watched their worst fears materialize before their eyes, moms and dads chained up like criminals and marched into detention.  Their babies don't know what they did wrong - they only know that their parents loved them but now they are gone and they won't come back.  Sometimes love can follow its home into exile.  It is a wretched experience to be thrown out by your country in order to live with your spouse.  Often love must battle homesickness, its heart split between two countries for medical or economic reasons.  Sometimes home becomes so distant that love cannot see it and must find a new home.  Knowing these families changed me.  Changes me. Changes my prayers and my desires.  It's funny.  A year ago we stood up in church to share what we were going through and ask our community to pray with/for us.  Yesterday I stood up in church to share these glad tidings and ask for continued prayers - but not for us.  I honestly don't remember the last time that I prayed that our waiver would be approved.  At some point along the way it stopped being about me, about my family, about our happiness and well-being.  Instead, it became about doing justice and loving kindness and walking humbly with God. (Micah 6:8)  My prayers have been for the kids celebrating their birthdays in front of computers because one parent can only be there through Skype and for US Citizen women giving birth in developing countries, attended by physicians speaking a foreign language, without any family members or support systems.  My prayers are for our congressional leaders who are so afraid to show compassion because it might break them.  My prayers are for all of the people who are not counted as human beings.  My prayers are for justice.  Won't you join your voice with mine as we plead and work for a more just and kind society?

American Families United is a 501c4 committed to lobbying for waiver reform to help mixed status families stay together in their home country.  It is a wonderful community of faith and support, doing big things and speaking truth to power.  We represent the human side of immigration.  If you feel led to make a donation, you can do so at https://americanfamiliesunited.wildapricot.org/donate

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The Light that cannot be overcome

Teaching a Gospel: John

So, this is a project I had to do for a class.  It references a little bit of our story and has certainly impacted the way I interpret our situation, so I figured I would post it here.  May you will start to glimpse the Light in your darkness as well.

  The light came unto its own and was not recognized.  The light was shamed, mocked, criticized and rejected.  Still, the darkness that laughs at the light has not, cannot, and never will overcome the Light of the World.

  Have you read the Gospel of John?  Most of us have.  Believers and non-believers alike can quote John 3:16.  (The Christian band I sang in during high school was even called 3:16!!)  But have you read more than that verse?  Have you taken time to dwell with the beautiful imagery?  Words that capture God’s timelessness and human embodiment?  The well-known prolegomenon informs much of our Trinitarian theology, and we also take much of our Christology – our understanding of who and what the Christ is - from this Gospel.  Why should you read it?

  The language is beautiful.  The Greek is simple, but the message is complex.  This makes for a really interesting literary excursion.

John is radically different from the other gospels.  Matthew, Mark and Luke are called the “synoptic gospels” because they tell so many of the same stories.  John presents an alternative narrative.

If you can quote part of the gospel, you need to read the whole thing so you can put that quote in context!

  So what are the main points John wants to convey through this Gospel?

Jesus is the fulfillment of Old Testament prophecy.

Jesus was fully human and fully divine.

Followers of Jesus are called into intimate relationship with the “Father”, God.

  The opening of the Gospel includes the narrative about John the Baptist, identifying him as the prophesied “voice calling out in the wilderness” to prepare the way for the Messiah.  It’s an interesting place to start, and reiterates the author’s emphasis on proving that Jesus is the fulfillment of Old Testament prophecy.  The book ends with Jesus exhorting his disciples to “follow” him, continuing the work of making more disciples.  Often, throughout the book, the narrator comments that the disciples do not understand what Jesus is saying to them.  The end is no different.  Even after Jesus has died and been resurrected the disciples fail to comprehend his message.  Being left in perpetual ambiguity is a little bit uncomfortable, but I think it’s intentional.  I think we are supposed to keep asking what it all means and what we should do about it. 

  Before you start reading, you should know that John’s Gospel has received a lot of criticism from those who perceive it to be anti-Semitic.  This criticism is not undeserved.  John broadly and derisively refers to “the Jews” throughout the Gospel.  If we are going to use this narrative as a source of truth and Christian love, we have to also look at where it falls short.  In order to stand in solidarity with the oppressed, we have to acknowledge the oppression in the text and the consequences it has had on subsequent generations of readers.  Before you start to read John, consider what he means by “the Jews” and perhaps you can come up with a more fitting phrase to substitute.  (Interpreters, including Culpeper, do not want to use a substitute, but I happen to disagree with him on this one.  If we don’t interrupt the cycle of oppression it is going to continue.  It is going to.  Forever.  Until we interrupt it.}

  So let’s start with this: Jesus and his disciples were Jewish.  The author of the Gospel was Jewish.  At the time the Gospel was written, the vast majority of its audience would have been Jewish.  That means that both the good guys and the bad guys were Jews!  Why won’t Jesus leave “the Jews” alone?  Why is he constantly criticizing them?  Well, what do you do when you see a close family member doing something self-destructive or harmful to another?  You call them out.  Jesus was calling out family.  He uses a lot of human relational language in this Gospel.  He calls his disciples his brothers.  He calls God his father.  This is a brother calling his siblings to accountability.  And it all goes back to the beginning of the book.  The author writes that Jesus came to his own people – his own family, the ones who should have had his back and welcomed him home – but they didn’t even recognize him.  Jesus keeps calling out his family for talking about God while simultaneously refusing any relationship; for expounding about a God they know so much about, but clearly do not know at all.

  I don’t think Jesus’s words apply only to “the Jews”.  I think his warnings, his criticisms, they are for all of us who study the Word, hear the Word, quote the Word, but fail to know the Word.  His exhortations to actually do the Word are for all of us.  When I read John’s gospel, “the Jews” become “the people who grew up in church” – those who know all about God but don’t care to actually know God.  I’d love to hear what you come up with in your reading!

  There’s another thing that a lot of theologians don’t like about John.  Many wonder why there are fewer narratives of the oppressed.  What does John say to women? To African Americans? To undocumented immigrants?  Where are these people in the story?  Here’s the answer: Jesus.  Jesus was rejected by those he came to save!  Jesus was denied by his friends and family.  Jesus was killed by his own people.  When he rose from the dead, Thomas refused to believe it was him without re-opening his wounds!  Jesus suffered at the hands of almost everyone.  Jesus is the oppressed in this narrative.

  If you have read any of my previous blog posts you already know that I’m married to an undocumented immigrant.  Yep – I’m a woman in ministry with an undocumented husband who is a person of color.  And you know what?  When I start to read John, I can barely get past the first chapter – even the first paragraph – because it contains so much hope.  The message for the oppressed is that the light may have been rejected by the darkness but the darkness has not, cannot, and never will overcome the light.  My life is a confusing maze of proclaiming truth and exposing lies.  There are so many lies about immigrants: they are drug-runners; they mooch off the system; they are lazy; they are criminals; they are dirty.  All of these lies attempt to convince the public of one thing: that they are not human.  The term “alien” is completely intentional.  It is meant to strip those under its auspices of their humanity and reclassify them as something strange and scary.  Families like mine are often said to be living “in the shadows” – in the darkness.  And there is a lot of darkness.  But according to John, the darkness is not going to have the last word.  The darkness tried but it could not overcome the light.  

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If you believe immigrants make the American economy stronger tell your Member of Congress to move immigration reform forward.

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"Daddy's First Mate"