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[larussoresources]

LARUSSORESOURCES. a blog for roleplay memes + other stuff in the future.

[larussoresources]

HEATHERS. a collection of prompts from the 1989 film. lightly edited, adjust as necessary. TW : death, suicide, sex, and eating disorders.

[name] told me she teaches people real life.

if you want to fuck with the eagles,  you have to learn to fly.

what’s your damage,  [name]?

the note’ll give her shower nozzle masturbation material for weeks.

i wanna set [name] on my johnson and just start spinning her like a fucking pinwheel.

heck,  i’d probably skip my own birthday party for a date.

if you’re going to openly be a bitch  …

i’m sorry,  it’s just,  why can’t we talk to different kinds of people?

fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

do i look like mother theresa?

doesn’t it bother you that everyone in school thinks you’re a piranha?

they all want me,  as a friend or a fuck.

i told you she knew my name.

i’d say we’re like twenty minutes from major humiliation.

deep down all teenagers are the same.   didn’t you see the breakfast club?

i’m sorry?   what are you oozing about?

we made a girl want to consider suicide.   what a scream.   what a jest.

a true friend’s work is never done.

grow up,  [name].   bulimia’s so ‘87.

maybe you should see a doctor.

holden caulfield wouldn't put up with their bogus nonsense.

god,  [name],  drool much?

there are no stupid questions.

if you inherit five million dollars the same day aliens tell the earth they're blowing us up in two days,  what would you do?

that’s the stupidest question i’ve ever heard.

god,  they won't expel him.   they'll just suspend him for a week or something.

all [name] really did was ruin two pairs of pants.

i thought you were giving up on high school guys.

did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

god,  that was unbelievable!

so tonight’s the night.   are you two excited?

blow it tonight,  girl,  and it's keggers with kids all next year.

crap.   so who's this guy i’ve been set up with?   witty and urbane pre-lawyer or albino accountant?

don’t worry.   [name] says he’s very,  so he’s very.

hey,  kid,  isn’t the prom coming up?   any contestants worth mentioning?

there’s kind of a dark horse in the running now.

will somebody please tell me why i read this spy crap?

i’m going to have to motor if i want to be ready for the party tonight.

if you're nice,  i’ll let you buy me a slurpee. 

the extreme always makes an impression,  but you're right,  it was severe.

everybody's life's got static.

i don’t really like my friends.

i don’t really like your friends either.

it’s like they're just people i work with and our job is being popular and shit.

come on,  [name],  let's go back to the party.

you're just so hot tonight.   i can't control myself.

let’s do it on the coats.   it'll be excellent.

i have a little prepared speech i give when my suitor wants more than i’d like to give him  …

save the speeches for malcolm x.   i just wanna get laid.

you don’t deserve my fucking speech!

[name] says you’re being a real cooze.

[full name] was a true friend and i sold her out for a bunch of swatchdogs and diet cokeheads.

killing [name]'d be like offing the wicked witch of the west.   or is it east?   west!

you were nothing before you met me!

monday morning,  you're history.   i’ll tell everyone about tonight.

dreadful etiquette.   i apologize.

i saw the croquet set - up in the back.   up for a match?

goddamn,  no wonder you looked so mangled when i came through the window.

i sound like an afterschool special.

[full name] is one bitch that deserves to die.

killing her won’t solve anything.

i guess i don’t know what the hell i’m talking about.

let’s just grow up,  be adults,  and die.

i knew this stuff would be too intense.

i can’t believe it.   i just killed my best friend.

i’m going to have to send my SAT scores to san quentin instead of stanford.

adolescence is a period of life fraught with anxiety and confusion.

people think just because you're beautiful and popular,  life is easy and fun.

thank you,  ms. [name].   call me when the shuttle lands.

[name] and i used to go together,  but she said i was boring. 

the good looks and bad manners gave her power,  but it could not give her happiness.

watch it,  [name].   you could actually be digesting food.

she always said you couldn't accessorize for shit.

i’m sorry about your friend.   i thought she was your usual airhead bitch.

does this have something to do with menstrual cramps and shit?

that was seriously warped,  [name].

will somebody please tell me why i smoke these damn things?

oh god,  this is a tragic thing and sometimes i have a hard time dealing with it and stuff.

i prayed for the death of [full name] many times and i felt bad every time i did,  but i kept doing it anyway.

i just want my high school to be a nice place.

i’m feeling kind of superior tonight.

our love is god.   let’s get a slurpee.

it’s more tasteful than it sounds.

i was wondering if you wanted all those things you've been saying to really happen. 

it’s always been a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once.

hey,  listen,  my bonnie and clyde days are over.

this is ohio.  if you don't have a brewsky in your hand,  you might as well be wearing a dress.

life’s a crazy bitch.   don’t try to analyze it.

your true feelings were too gross and icky for you to face.

my teen angst bullshit now has a body count.

it’s god versus my boyfriend,  and god’s losing.

our school has been torn apart by tragedy.   i’m here today to fuse it back together through togetherness.

i have a feeling this one’ll work.

i may be a geek,  but i have my pride.

why are you dissing me,  [name]?   i’m trying to redefine the high school experience!

you’re ignoring the high school experience.

we scare people into not being assholes.

that’s it,  we’re breaking up.

to think there was a time when i thought you were cool.

it’s scary how everyone’s got a story to tell.

i don’t want your money,  i want your strength.

[school name] doesn’t need mushy togetherness,  it needs a leader.

your machine’s got the most obnoxious beep.

i know i’m not as exciting as your other friends.

nice guys finish last.   i should know.

they're going to think uncool is the rule at [school name].

you’re so polluted.

i don’t see what gives you the right to lecture,  [name].

some people just don't matter.   why should those who do carry their weight?

so i'm a dark horse,  huh?   you make me blush.

whether to commit suicide is the most important decision a teenager has to make.

if we're not going to watch that program,  can i put on the game?

hey kids, make your parents and teachers feel like shit!   get the respect in death you'll never get in life!

are you trying to tell me it is not a troubled time for the nation's youth?

everybody cares about youth,  not the individual.

all we want is to be treated like human beings,  not like guinea pigs to be experimented on and not like bunny rabbits to be patronized.

i do not patronize bunny rabbits.

adults can be horrible to other adults.

i guess i picked the wrong time to be a human being.

another case of a geek trying to imitate the popular people of the school and failing miserably.

[name] couldn't take the heat,  so she got out of the kitchen.   just think what a better place the world would be if every nimrod followed her cue.

just shut up and turn on the radio.   hot probs is on.

god has cursed me,  i think.

holy shit,  that’s [name]!   we’ll crucify her!

are we going to prom?   or to hell?

suicide is a private thing.

you’re giving your life away to become a goddamn statistic in us - fucking - a today.   that’s got to be the least private thing i can think of.

if you were happy every day of your life,  you wouldn't be a human being,  you'd be a game show host.

i’ll get right on it,  coach.

color me stoked,  girl.

people love you,  but i know you.

some people need different kinds of convincing than others.

[name],   why can't you just be a friend?  why are you such a mega - bitch?

why are you pulling my dick?

do you think,  do you really think,  if [full name]'s fairy godmother made her cool,  she'd still act nice and hang with her dweebette friends?

you're not a rebel.   you're fucking psychotic.

if she was going to slash her wrists,  the knife would be absolutely spotless.

i can't believe you did it.   i was teasing.

you think just because you started this thing,  you can end it?

you know what i want,  babe?   cool guys like you out of my life.

you really fucked me up,  [name].

now that you're dead,  what are you gonna do with your life?

[name],  you look like hell.

[name],  my love,  there's a new sheriff in town.

my date for prom kind of flaked out on me,  so i thought if you weren't doing anything that night we could go to the video store and rent some new releases or something.

[larussoresources]

THE TROUBLE WITH ANGELS. a collection of prompts from the 1966 film. adjust as necessary.

got the fenders fixed.   new paint job.   how does she look?

really?   a child your age,  smoking!

i’m not a child,  madam,  i’m a midget with bad habits.

i’ve got the most scathingly brilliant idea.

[title] seems to have given me the wrong list.

well,  no matter.   anybody can make a mistake.   even [title].

the way she talked to us,  you’d think we were criminals.

the only difference between this place and a girls’ reformatory is the tuition.

i told her she was illegitimate,  so she hates me.

i’m dying for a smoke.

uncle [name] said he’d lay odds the nuns could straighten me out.

my father said that growing sweet potato plants and playing the silent piano wasn’t much preparation for life.

you know,  maybe it won’t be so bad here after all.   i mean,  you and i are certainly simpatico.

mr. [name] said that i was still crystallized and that it wasn’t time for me to come out of my cocoon yet.

it may come as something of a surprise to you,  but smoking,  drinking,  and similar extracurricular activities are not permitted at st. francis.

i think i’m gonna kill myself.

catholics aren’t allowed to.

you’ll find her methods newer than new.

talent is desirable but not essential.

as you can hear,  we are sadly in need of a new boiler.

maybe we’ll be struck dead if we defile the sanctorium.

we did it yesterday and we’re still alive.

oh,  come on,  don’t be such a goon.

you said we wouldn’t be caught!

if you wanna get sprung,  you’ll have to do better than that.

the finest educational minds in the country happen to be on our side.

i keep telling you,  you don’t have to whisper.

[title] said the detergent might help to wash away my sins.

well?   what do you have to say?   i’m waiting!

[name],  you may go to your dormitory.   i’ll deal with you later.

one of us may have to go.   but i guarantee you it won’t be me.

you better get out of here or you’ll get blasted.

i wouldn’t repeat it in this sacred place.

i think you can ponder your sins just as easily with a little help.

i’m rather sorry you even came to class.

i think it’s a stinking idea!

when you grow old,  you can look at your head and remember yourself in all your youthful beauty.

and you slobs better not try anything funny.

couple more medals and she can start her own church.

see that we’re not stuck with those two for the summer.

you’re all too clumsy,  awkward,  gawky!   but we’ll work on that,  won’t we?

i’d do it myself,  but i have a meeting with [title],  and have no idea what time i’ll be free.

i can’t stuff his holiness in a window!

i don’t know what it is,  but it’s very imaginative.

blackmail is supposed to be against the law.

i did everything for them when they were little.   nothing was too hard.

i hope i die young and very wealthy.

we’re the victims of a fiendish plot.

so you’ll have something you hate you can give up for lent.

this is the last,  the final,  the absolute end.

never in all my years have i met two likelier candidates for san quentin.

i realize that [name] is a high-spirited young girl.

i’ve devoted myself to her welfare,  and it hasn’t been easy.

and although my business affairs keep me extremely busy,  [name] naturally always comes first.

i’m extremely interested in hearing all about your devotion to [name].

my father’ll kill me.   i could live with that,  but it’s what my mother’s going to do that i can’t stand.

i am convinced it would be a cruel and unchristian act to let you two loose on an unsuspecting world.

i was gonna give up smoking anyway.   never did like it.

we’ve got a big enough investment in that boiler to sell shares in it.

after all these years,  i know when you have something on your mind.   now,  what is it?

can i be less tolerant of [name] than the church has been of me?

oh,  i brought you a holy medal from the vatican.   it’s supposed to protect you.

i’m no authority,  but they still sound pretty awful.

is it vanity that i want them to win the band competition?

i think it’s the most scathingly brilliant idea you ever had.

aside from all other considerations,  such as breaking the rules and disappearing for three hours so that [title] had to call in the police to locate you,  don’t you think it’s highly unethical to be spying on a competitor?

i suppose it was wrong,  but we did it for st. francis.

i must be in my dotage,  but i do believe you.

band uniforms are non-sectarian!

i can’t begin to tell you what the prize money means to us.

oh,  [name],  it’ll be such a drag for you here over christmas.   i wish you were coming home with me.

you know you won’t have time to finish that dress before the contest.

i will!   i am not gonna be the only one who’s not in it!

i used to do a great deal of sewing when i was a girl.

i know it’s vanity,  of course,  but i think i could have made a success of it.

but how could you give it up?

i found something better.

i have a feeling we shouldn’t have cut swimming for three years.

i’ll let you know if my whole life passes before me while i drown.

i wonder if my father knows he’s paying good money to have me educated to be a janitor.

i still think that was a pretty dirty crack [title] made.

which dirty crack of several hundreds are you referring to?

well,  you always said she was a flawless beauty,  and it was absolutely criminal for her to be trapped into being a nun.

how can she be so cold?

you are all remarkably beautiful.

the decision to serve god is not an easy one,  but it is a joyful one.

[name],  [name]’s very upset that you won’t speak with her.

she’s a traitor,  she was brainwashed.

someday you’ll understand,  [name].

she’s made a difficult and courageous decision.

you,  of all people,  should know how strong she is.

she didn’t yield,  [name].   she chose.

and i’d rather have one like [name] who chooses,  than a hundred who yield.

[name] will give with joy and laughter  …  and defiance,  i imagine.

she has some scathingly brilliant ideas.

you could’ve told me!   why didn’t you tell me?

you don’t know how much i wanted to tell you.

boy,  you’ll make some crazy nun.

just ‘cause i’m gonna be a nun doesn’t mean i can’t write to people.

well,  who knows,  [title]?   maybe one day [name] will come back and join the order.

[larussoresources]

DAN AND PHIL DATE EVERYTHING. a collection of sentence starters from dan and phil's youtube series playing date everything. adjust as necessary.

[name]’s got his tip out,  i’m dangerously close to having my nip out.

we are the anti - christ.

i like your romantic shirt.

everyone likes me,  [name].

that guy’s kinky as hell.   look at those eyebrows.

this is like a depressing black mirror episode.

they were location scouting my boxer shorts.

am i having a psychotic break?

can you ask that about gay people?

he’s got the keys to my heart  …  he can have the keys to my back door.

i feel like he’s gonna kick me down the stairs.

i’m hoping to be along for the ride in the next twenty minutes.

what up,  girl?   or boy?   or them?

also,  if the sun shines,  they’re gonna get obliterated like a little ant.

i don’t wanna be perceived this hard.

calm down,  lesbians.

no,  i tend to fire and forget.

[name] needs to be glazed like a pop tart.   emotionally.

is he gonna take a break from monologuing to give me what i need,  though?

i was not on that wavelength.

free him from the basket.

i’m looking for someone fun with special talents and they will deal with my chaos.

himbos?   i want ‘em all!

it’s gonna be a sexy hexagon with me in the middle.

i will not be wearing rubber anytime soon.

do you wanna have an altercation?

i like being approached by a gentleman  …  that is languid.

i am scared of electricity,  though.   like,  do we really know what it is?

you’re just meant to look nice in a t - shirt and be funny.

why are you trying to touch my face,  you fucking nasty man?

see?   he’s a fake ass bitch!

you really can’t sit still for thirty seconds,  huh?

that was unexpected,  but i liked it.

am i over my issues?   no.

i’ve got a vision.   wait for this.

i’m gonna try to take the entirety of him.

you could say we approached that from different ends.

don’t speak to him,  you’ll get a forty five minute video essay.

[name],  can i make you feel weird for a second?

i feel indecent now.

i was getting a little hot under the collar in this 91 degree heat,  so i think we need to move on.

would you go for a GILF?

okay,  wait,  i’m opening photoshop.

oh my god,  look at those abs!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?

fight.   physical fight.   catch me outside.

should he get paid the same when he’s not here half the time?

sometimes you just need to lie to people.

and we need to go out more,  so let’s hit the club.

you can’t be too forward with this guy.

i really like all of our new  …  friends.

you don’t want to know what i’ve been doing with my pencil case.

i’m feeling ready for love.

sorry,  [name],  you didn’t need to hear that.

have space for someone in your life that’s one - dimensional.

SO highly strung!   calm down!

why are we having trials?

we need to break them up.

but because i’m a messy homosexual,  i want [name] to love me.

are they gonna have a broken pelvis?

RESTRAINING ORDER!

he’s just positive,  [name],  give him a chance.

i love the point in a friendship where you don’t have to be impressive or funny or interesting on any level.

wait,  sorry,  was that supposed to be a threat?   

i am now gonna do everything in my power to disobey that command.

are we immediately waging war against this person or not?

this is dystopian,  you are terrible.

i’m just a hole.

i wish i had this level of delusion.

we’re being a menace.

sleazy wink for a sleazy twink.

i’m disrespectfully eavesdropping.

oh my god,  this is a doomed love!

we literally fixed him emotionally AND physically!

you know where i’m going!   shut up!

i’m seeing muscles i’ve never seen before.

we need to teach [name] that it’s okay to be a freak sometimes.

we’re all haters here.

oh shit,  we’ve murdered someone.

there’s a healthier way to deal with this,  [name].