[weaselknievel]

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

[kragehund-est]

sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.

you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.

[the-ghost-of-jetstream-tormod]

What are your thoughts on musk?

[kragehund-est]

i hope he dies

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

[robbierobertson]

this sign i just saw in a bookstore ??

[perceptinspire-deactivated20161]

[butchfagminotaur]

“how long have you been on tumblr?” i remember the term “nightblogging”

[knuckleduster]

i feel like we need to spread the original of this around again bc everyone's been quoting it as "y bugs" or "et bugs"

[redstonedust]

put rainbow laces on all my shoes recently which is fun and sexy but has the side effect that i have gotten multiple "i like your shoelaces" from strangers and like. i cant NOT "i stole them from the president" in return. just in case. but its recieved mostly awkward laughs and looks of confusion. embarrasing myself in public out here over my damn shoelaces.

[redstonedust]

[dogpuppy]

[gingersnapwolves]

my "I'm with the boomers on this one" take is that I should not need an app to park my fucking car. increasingly when I'm out and about and need to use public parking, the only option is an app. no. no. give me a meter I can plug the loose change from the bottom of my purse into. worst comes to absolute worst give me a machine to insert my credit card which prints a receipt for the dashboard of my car (I don't like those either but at least they are on site). "to pay for parking, download our app!" why don't you download my ass

[pisces-core]

[marisatomay]

Laughing. Laughing. At nothing in particular. Just know I’m laughing.

[futuristic-koala]

[2022dirt]

Faces in coffee.

[elvis-shrimpley]

Woah mama I'm a shrimp

[aflo]

I truly believe we don't have much time left

[sacred-portal]

[amygdalae]

[amygdalae]