Be all my sins remembered.

hola. alguna vez han leído a Shakespeare?

[therainbow-whale-deactivated202]

No te enamores de una persona curiosa. Querrá saber quién eres, de dónde vienes, cómo es tu familia. Mirará todas tus fotografías y leerá todos tus poemas. Vendrá a cenar y hablar con tu madre acerca de cómo su curiosidad le ha enseñado cosas muy útiles. Te pedirá que explotes cuando estás enojado y que llores cuando estás herido.Te preguntará qué significa esa ceja levantada. Querrá saber tu comida favorita, tu color favorito, tu persona favorita. Te preguntará por qué. Va a comprar esa que cámara te gustó, prestará atención a esa banda que amas en caso de que haya un show cerca, te llevará ese suéter al que le sonreíste una vez. Aprenderá a cocinar tus comidas favoritas. Los curiosos no se conforman con el exterior, desean el interior. Ellos quieren lo que te hace pesado, lo que te hace sentir incómodo, lo que te hace gritar de alegría , ira, y de angustia. Su piel se convertirá en páginas en las que aprenderás a derramar tu ser. No te enamores de una persona curiosa. No dejará un suspiro sin explicación. Querrá saber qué hizo exactamente, qué hizo para que la amaras. Año, mes, día, semana “¿A qué hora fue? ¿Qué dije? ¿Qué hice? ¿Cómo te sentiste? “ No te enamores de una persona curiosa, porque he estado allí. Desabrochará tu camisa y leerá cada cicatriz, cada marca, cada curva. Explorará cada una de tus extremidades, cada órgano, cada pensamiento, cada ser.

Fragmento, autor desconocido. 

lifffer

(via therainbow-whale)

[lastmidnightsun]

Coffee Afternoon

Friday afternoon and I'm sitting by myself at a coffee shop in downtown San Jose waiting for it to be at least 10 minutes after 4pm and for the rain to get mellower. After work, I went downtown to meet someone until 3pm. Afterwards, since I was unable to stop thinking about you, it crossed my mind a brilliant idea and that's why I found myself anxiously waiting for 4pm. When it was time to go I guess I really didn't care that the rain had gone wilder because IT was time. I wanted to gather all faint possibilities that there could be of me seeing you. I didn't even think about texting you. It's been more than a month and I know you don't carry a phone with connection so we could talk if you were out. My only hope was to casually run into you. Friday, why a Friday? On Tuesday you said at least twice that on Friday we could play videogames together and that just filled me up with a lot of hope and excitement. I waited in the morning for you to remember what you said back on Tuesday and tell me again we could go play videogames at your place and what was the plan. You forgot. And instead you bothered me at breakfast and that got me upset but nevertheless I never lost my hope of there being at least one chance that it could be possible that you wanted to go with the plan. I didn't remind you of the plan when we saw each other earlier because sincerely, I was so afraid you would tell me no and reject the never confirmed plan and kill all existing possibilities for later. After 4:15pm I kind of decided it's almost impossible to run into you in SJO on your way to your place. So I decided to go to my bus stop and go home and forget about it. But those 0.99% chances that I've got of sighting you walking through the people kept me on the game. And I decide to miss the first bus that departed going to my place. My bus stop location was the perfect location. Very strategic I thought. I could check different footpaths at once where you could be walking on your way to your bus stop. People waiting for my bus began to line up to wait. And so I half gave up my one chance and stood in line but still my point of view was aligned with the plan. I checked every way and all directions. Even though I was not wearing my glasses and the rain kept constant. I knew how to spot you. Tall guy, probably not with an umbrella with a green cross body bag. The bus arrived and people were already boarding. Still, I never gave up my looking for your long curled black hair that I was never able to spot until I finally forfeited my search and boarded the bus. I did think about how odd it should've been for you if I had succeeded and found you and run up to you and tell you I as just casually downtown and then spotted you. Maybe, if it had happened, I would've told you the truth about how I had spent one hour relentlessly looking for you on every possible path to get to your bus stop and how crazy it was from me to do that. Am I being too silly and crazy and obsessed by doing that? Who would spend their Friday relying on one almost non existing possibility. But I don't care if I am or if I do. When I say I love you I mean it and doing that one Friday afternoon would normally seem like total non sense but it felt ok. I wanted to do it. I was dying to play videogames with you. On my way home on the bus, it's like I'm not giving up yet and check if you are online and somehow you are! So I text you and you reply and it felt like I had just found an oasis in the desert. You replied you were on the bus. And god I would've crossed the whole city again just to see you but I know you were gonna say no and tell me you wanted to get home so I went home defeated. I text you one last time that Friday and you told me you were at a friend's house playing video games. . . To me it just meant that Waiting for you all afternoon Expecting to run up to you Missing the bus Getting wet under the rain Trying to create more possibilities Everything was in vain. If you went to your friend's house it meant that you never were on your way to your bus stop and I searched for you in vain because you wouldn't be walking anywhere near my bus stop at that time and even if I had met you, you would've been with them and then I would've been ruining your other plans. Just knowing that made me felt so sad and like a complete loser and arrived home and cried about it and still I was waiting and waiting for you to have a couple of minutes to talk to me. You would still reply you were playing videogames. I just want you to give me at least 5minutes of your time where you can show me how much you want to talk to me and that you miss me. I'm craving for your attention. I'm almost begging you for 1minute where you can just tell me hey, pretty, how are you I hope you're doing fine, I miss you. But I guess one minute and those words are something too much to ask. Meanwhile, secretly I'm giving you all my afternoon. Could I get any more lame? Later you tell you were upset that Friday because I told you not to touch me. Well I'm sorry for everything really. 

[teesadutta]

2.24.15

[iceyygirl]

[danpatitucci-deactivated2016121]

With record high temperatures, the Alp’s rapidly shrinking glaciers are taking a beating this summer. (at Zinalrothorn, Switzerland)

[lastmidnightsun]

Lo que llamamos "los buenos viejos tiempos" se resumen a unos cuantos momentos en algunas noches.

[lastmidnightsun]

Tu nombre

A veces murmullo tu nombre en voz alta porque tan inundada está mi mente de pensamientos sobre ti - como si mi cuerpo no pudiera aguantar dentro de sí mismo todos los sentimientos y recuerdos de ti. Se derrama de mi boca tu nombre - - - mi corazón lo grita exasperado. No puedo contener en silencio lo mucho que llenas mi esencia y mi mente. Se me desborda en voz alta, Tu nombre. Lo exclamo con una sonrisa que nace cada vez que te pienso. El nombre de todo lo que acapara mi ser. Un nombre que denota lo más bello y especial que he conocido.

[lastmidnightsun]

Besos de abril.

Y¿por qué me besas de esa manera?

Como si nunca fueras a irte

Como si me fueras a amar por siempre

[lastmidnightsun]

Noche de hace un mes

Tenía tanto frío pero no tardaste en darte cuenta de esto y me diste tu bufanda. Aún así estaba helada pero no me importó porque tenía tu bufanda y tenía una excusa para refugiarme en tus brazos cuando quisiera. “Todo está bien ahora porque estoy con vos” te respondí después de que diste cuenta (y no sé cómo) de que estaba llorando antes de llegar. Sinceramente lo único que quería era verte y desde temprano estaba decidida a decirte todo lo que sentía por vos porque no quería que fueras de nadie más. No quería darte más tiempo para que te enamoraras de otra.

Después de que todos se fueran nos habíamos acostado sobre el pequeño muro de cemento y poco a poco nos fuimos corriendo hasta que nuestros cuerpos estaban acostados en direcciones opuestas y mi nariz chocaba con la tuya pero mis ojos veían tu boca y los tuyos veían la mía. Al principio fui muy tímida cuando me besaste pero luego no pude detenerme. No sé por cuánto tiempo nos besamos pero cuando nos levantamos estábamos mareados.

Te regalé una galleta. Te dije que no quería perderte. Te dije que no me gustaba ver como disfrutabas verme celosa. Te disculpaste. Me dijiste que desde que me conociste te gusté y supiste 3 cosas: que algún día me besarías, que algún día yo te iba a pegar, que algún día te ibas a enamorar de mí. Me dijiste que no tenía idea de cuanto me querías. Sacamos un lápiz y un papel. Hicimos una llamada. Nos tomamos de la mano y nos fuimos por un taxi.

Casi a las 3 de la madrugada me dijiste “ven”, yo fui y al día siguiente me agradeciste por no dejarte dormir sólo. No olvidaré tu camisa de botones roja, tus colochos, cómo me fascinaba acariciar tu barbilla para sentir tu barba, tus labios que los envidiaba porque no estaban secos o pálidos como los míos, tu obsesión con morder, cómo supiste que me encantaba escuchar tu voz y no quería que dejaras de hablar, tu “te amo”, tus manos tocando todo mi cuerpo, tu cuerpo sobre el mío y viceversa, tu voz temblar del placer.

Te vi ayer. Me senté en frente tuyo. Estabas con otra. Tal vez pensaste que estaba celosa. Me conoces demasiado bien. Habías dicho que me amabas pero siento que ninguno de los dos lo cree ahora. Si te quiero todavía, y te amaría si me lo permitieras. Pero tienes que protegerme, yo tengo que protegerme y sé que no puedo amarte porque aprendí a alejarme de lo que me hace sufrir. Aún así te extraño y te deseo. Sé que tengo que olvidar pero ojalá no tuviera que hacerlo. No quieres que me rinda pero no quieres herirme. Te haré caso, te dejaré ganar, te seguiré viendo siempre pero ya no será lo mismo.

[lastmidnightsun]

Close up de azulejo de la alhambra

[lastmidnightsun]

Never ending

People do not end People die. Stories do not end, Stories die. I died 12months and one week ago When you kissed me And said goodbye. We never looked each other to the eye The next times we met. Deep down inside your vault, You had buried me a hundred times. We spoke dead words One last fake smile One last kick, Then, our story died.

[lastmidnightsun]

Embrujo

Miré tus ojos una vez y fue suficiente para sentir que me clavabas una espada embrujada en el pecho. Ahora me has hechizado y cuando cierro mis ojos miro los tuyos, siempre siempre, me apuñalan el cuerpo delicadamente. Son lo único que veo. Te acercás cada vez un poco más, nos tomamos las manos, nos consumimos en malas canciones de moda que todos se cantan, te abrazo, me abrazás, te sigo, me seguís, nos seguimos y seguimos hasta la hora que no es noche ni mañana.

Te hice sonreír y para qué. Tu sonrisa es otro hechizo, otro encantamiento desgarrador incurable, me mata. Me tapo los ojos, ya no quiero verte más, no quiero ver tus ojos o tu sonrisa, porque me voy dando cuenta de que me has tocado en encantamientos y empiezo a acariciarte, a susurrarte lo embrujada que estoy, a besar tu cuello, a suplicar que no me soltés… Mejor suelto yo el vodka, el tequila, la birra!! Y aun así! Me encantás, me encantás, me encantás! No me veás más con esos ojos!

A esa hora, oscura y clara, no te puedo soltar de la mano, cierro los ojos pero te veo, estoy seria pero me sacás una sonrisa, duermo sola pero estás conmigo, ni sé qué sueño pero estás en mis sueños, respiro pero no te exhalo en ningún momento. Pasados los días y aún te veo sin falta, no te has ido, no me has dejado. Estás aquí y estás en otros lados, Santa Ana, San Pedro, San José, no sé por donde andarás. Dame el antídoto a tu embrujo antes de que sea tarde, pero sonreíste y me miraste una vez más y en ese momento, ya fue muy tarde.

[lastmidnightsun]

Flame🔥

Flame of mine, you lived. Flame of mine you burned. Flame of mine, you danced. Flame of mine, you breathed. Flame of mine, you glowed. Flame of mine, you shone, Inside of me: Orange, Yellow, Red.

My flame, you grew.

Flame, you were burning me. Flame, you were suffocating me. Flame, you were consuming me. Flame, you were blazing me. Flame, you were asphyxiating me. Flame, you were charring me. I was unable to extinguish you, flame. Flame, you heard me scream. Flame, you destroyed me.

[lastmidnightsun]

Love.

I think one of the biggest mistakes people can do is to believe they are in love with someone when they really aren’t. To believe you know what love really is is a common fault. Believing in love. Knowing love. Falling in love…

When I go out, I always wonder if every couple I see on the streets is really in love. Love is such a unique, special and uncommon feeling toward someone and it’s hard for me to believe that everyone is aware of love. It’s weird knowing everyone has access to something so precious and exclusive.

That’s why I question and doubt people know what it is. Have they really felt it? There, beneath they’re skin, pouring from they’re insides and never being able to hide it ? I wish there were less couples. I wish they were together only when love truly exists. Otherwise, just be fuckbuddies, partners or friends with benefits, but if you’re asking commitment to someone, then do it ONLY IF there really is love. Because the idea of having a couple nowadays is so empty and people have different boyfriends or girlfriends every three months and it becomes SO senseless!

But then again, when I think about love, I remember it has two faces. The sweet side and the bitter side. I wonder if everyone is able to take it. Oh, what a dumb, painful and beautiful thing love is.

[lastmidnightsun]

lost forest

Suddenly I remember something and then I drift away forever into a forest of memories.

[lastmidnightsun]

Party.

As I stab your dried up heart, I’ll miss your empty kisses, your be-numb hugs, your fake words, your false desires, your forgotten dreams.

Everyone will be wrapped inside my anger and pain at the Broken Hearts’ Party.  More than welcomed to host your strangled neck and blue face. Sink and drown inside my sea of tears. You’re invited.

There’s a bomb ticking away inside you for a long time now. Inside me.

[lastmidnightsun]

Corazón sin vendaje

Todos tenemos cicatrices profundas en el corazón y entonces me dijiste: “Quiero enseñarte las mías” Y yo ya te las había visto en tu mirada y en tu voz quebrada. Pero dejé que me las mostraras.