Today, I fucked up... by giving my girlfriend 50 dollars
This happened in 7th grade.
I was 13 and Courtney and I had spent the last few weeks on AOL Instant Messenger, talking about our stupid parents and cursing Mr. Morrell, the Algebra teacher. True love. One night she called me a ‘sexy beast’, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes, and sent an emoticon with hearts for eyes. Score.
So the next few weeks are awesome. I walk her to all her classes, and give her a ‘side-hug’ with one arm around her before each class, because PDA rules said we couldn’t have real hugs. I let her wear my dirty ass hoodie, and she called me her ‘buttered biscuit.’
A couple of weeks later, and we are nearing winter break. I started stressing out about getting her a gift for Christmas, and asked her best friend what I should get her. She suggested a necklace, and I agreed that that would make her love me. I had just received $50 from my grandma for Christmas, and asked my mom to take me to Walmart. When she found out I was buying my girlfriend of 2 months a $50 necklace, she forced me to put it back and took me home and I suddenly had no gift for my girlfriend.
So the last day of the semester rolls around we decide to sneak away and skip sixth hour. We find a hidden spot under the stairs and had our first awful, inexperienced kiss and then made out for 30 minutes. The bell rings and all the kids pour out of class and we assimilate into the crowd. I walk her to her last class and we half-embrace one last time, and before she pulls away I slipped my $50 bill into her pocket, and whispered ‘Merry Christmas’ in her ear. I was 13, I’d had a girlfriend, I made out with her AND I gave her an awesome gift of $50 for Christmas.
So about halfway through our last class, we both get called to the office. We’re both freaking out, thinking that we are busted for skipping class and totally making out under the stairs. We get to the office and they talk to Courtney, and then they bring me in without letting her talk to me.
Apparently, our teachers had noticed our absence and asked our other teachers if we’d been in class, and realized that we’d both skipped. We were definitely in trouble for that, but then came the kicker: one of the teachers saw me slip the $50 into her pocket, and assumed that we skipped class to have sex and that I paid her for it. That’s right. I wanted to give my girlfriend a Christmas gift, but I ended up making her a prostitute. Ah, to be young again.
TL;DR: Tried to give my new girlfriend a Christmas gift, ending up making the school admins think she was whoring herself out.
jimmyeatworldofficial
areudirty
