i think of you

1am thoughts

[9e978e]

via

[rai-r]

@esmeetrouw/instagram

[late-at-night]

life shouldn’t be nor feel so hard. my nervous system should be calm, and i should wake up each day feeling blessed and looking forward to perform tasks that are simple and straightforward, then have a relaxing lunch, and perform some more simple tasks, and finally head home to my family, dogs, and cats before the sun goes down. i shall have plenty of time dedicated to learning a new language or skill for my hobbies, and fall asleep easily and naturally at night. there must be time for movement, leisure and relaxation. zero back pains. much more time for being with family and friends and lover. even more time for exploring and travelling and seeing and experiencing newness.

[late-at-night]

applied for a job today for funsies because what’s there to lose? life is a playground

[late-at-night]

it’s been well over a year since i’ve properly read or written anything at all. not even in my physical journal, which i have not seen for a while now. the trajectory of my life has been altered so much to the point where now that I’m finally pausing to look back, i realized just how far off course i’ve been and how lost i am. how did i get here? doing what i do now and still not really know what it is that i’m supposed to be striving so hard for. every day i wake up feeling as though i’m straying further and further away from my dreams. whenever i try to take one step forward to be closer to something, i tend to unexpectedly end up taking three steps astray instead because there was no direct route to take. repeat that a few more times and soon enough, your original direction becomes less and less visible and you’re stuck wandering an endless forest trying to circle your way back to no avail. it’s like when i first took up swimming lessons during college to improve my physical health (because i sucked at running and hiking), then in order to get better at pacing my breaths during swimming i had to do home workouts, but when the home workouts were becoming ineffective, i started doing high intensity exercises so now i have ended up in a weekly routine of spin classes but zero swimming nor running. somewhere somehow along the way i have completely lost interest in ever running or hiking a mountain again. and i barely even swim anymore. i used to be so sure about what i liked and disliked in many aspects of my life, like how much i loved chemistry and my desire to build a career around it, even though i never could specifically point out the exact position or thing that i wanted to be doing. now that chemistry is completely out of my life, i feel even more unsure than ever. how did i dedicate 5 good years of my early twenties to this field of study, to be as curious and passionate as i was, just to not deal with it in my day to day life anymore, not even in the slightest bit. i have never for a brief moment felt like it was all for a waste, but i can’t help feeling like it’s such a shame. the worst realization of all is that if i were given an opportunity to be in a related career again, i know i would not want it because as much as it is interesting to me, it is also very tough for me as i often felt that i was overextending myself to catch up. i love it so much and knowing that i could not do it well, i would rather not be doing it at all. the thought of this makes me feel even more stuck, because i feel like i have arrived at the point of running out of choices and at the same time, i don’t have the option to go back either. i just want to be good at something for a long time and not always feel like a beginner at everything every single moment of the day. for once, i’d like to already know what to do and where to go.

[niurd]

instagram.com/p/DVnNz4NjClV/

[samglyph]

Funny when someone introduces you to something, you get really into it, and then they lose all interest in it. Oh so you’re just going to abandon me at the party you invited me to. Dude you were my ride.

[buspir-deactivated20230127]

As a student learning French, I thought it would be neat to offer French resources not only for myself, but for other French learners!

Learning Websites

Duolingo 

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Frenchcrazy English vs. French

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Conjugating Words (-ER, -IR, -RE; regular & irregular) + examples

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Vocabulary

100 Subjects

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1000 Most Common French Words

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Space Vocabulary (Tumblr Masterpost)

Extra

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French Words Daily (a Tumblr Account)

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Tips

Definitely keep a notebook

Take a class if possible

If you’re taking a class, write down any extra French vocabulary you may get; my teacher likes to call it “bonus free knowledge” when she gives us extra vocabulary

Practice pronouncing. All. The. Time.

Take notes

Have readable notes

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Once you start learning, do not stop or else you’re going to forget things!!

Take quizzes & tests online for practice

Make some online French friends :))

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[thenightlymirror]

James Baldwin.

[1five1two]

Tomas Sánchez.

[soracities]

Dunya Mikhail, from Diary of a wave outside the sea (trans. Elizabeth Winslow and Dunya Mikhail) [ID'd]

[serdunkthelunk]

I wish the world worked like it did in the stardew valley universe. If I'm strapped for cash I should be able to go grab some blackberries off the nearest roadside bush and go sell them to a grocery store for a quick ten bucks. I should be able to think "huh I wanna go talk to the wizard today" and then I go talk to the wizard in his wizard tower

[disc80s]

x

[late-at-night]

i haven’t been consistent in journaling as of lately but i feel inspired. i sense new beginnings, a breeze of freshness blowing past me and i am ready to start anew. i couldn’t make myself pick up a book for the past couple months but i’ve just read about fifteen pages of i capture the castle and couldn’t put it down. i just came to realize that coziness and comfort might be my favourite feelings in the whole world. not love, nor passion, nor thrill, nor giddiness, but soft cushions, thick blankets, warm lighting, and a comfort book that i’ve read over and over again. and of course, slowing time… sundays are the most lovely and pleasant.

[aout]

IG

[makkleyn]

[tkkatherineblog]