Late Moon Thoughts

A diary I guess?

[late-moonie-thoughts]

oscar and mrs winterton's relationship is my dream lavender marriage

[late-moonie-thoughts]

some other thoughts on the gilded age

they made a black woman completely competent, intelligent, beautiful and worthy through every single episode. no fucking notes

i feel like ada paid that lady to make agnes vice president

i love that they were teasing marian and larry from episode 1

i love that everyone lives their lives, moves on, makes different choices and plot isn't for the sake of plot (e.g. peggy's choice to stop working for mr. fortune after realising their relationship was not good)

also the moment i saw her start to work for him and spend a lot of quality time where they glaze each other, i knew he was gonna take advantage, the fucking whore he is

bertha facing the consequences of her actions. at one point i figured the greed and ambition would not mess up her life but i didn't watch s3 yet

the one plot hole was luke. good god he didn't have to die for ada to return to the van rhijn home

i have never felt more uncomfortable in this series than watching gladys marry a man she had no choice in selecting

why do i like these monopoly looking ahh capitalists?

jack my sweet child. i need a 10 mil investment from an invention too

but also i hope bridget isn't only interested in him now that he's rich because he was always going to be a hardworking, honest man and a decent father at the very least. i like them, and i think they can be fine but i hesitate you know? i know her reasons, but he wasn't made aware and it feels... unfair to him at the very least

[late-moonie-thoughts]

must a russell family member always have a messy relationship?

[late-moonie-thoughts]

and the thing is, i don't actually care about the lyrics. i listen to whatever japanese music i want and i don't worry because whenever i do find the lyrics, it's always something i love.

every time acchan mentions his mother i'm not well

[late-moonie-thoughts]

Yall I'm not well. i just found a live performance of jupiter (from climax together 1992) and the lyrics alongside it. I don't even want to see the full concert because i have so much fucking fomo for a performance I wasn't even alive for. Every day I think about the fact that Atsushi is dead and that I'll never have the blessing of seeing him sing live.

But more than that, every song of theirs that becomes one of my favourites is linked to his mom in some way. Sakura, Long Distance Call, and then there was that line in Jupiter -

//Afterglow vanishing from behind my eyelids

Of the light that looks like Mother//

He's often referencing his mom. I don't know much about them, but I do know that he loved her dearly and that he wrote a lot of music about her.

I have so much anguish about this.

The loss of a person I never met, a person I never had the opportunity to see, or even interact with.

[late-moonie-thoughts]

not very far into the gilded age s1 but anyway

i love that despite starting on the wrong episode, i immediately knew that oscar was gay (is he named after mr. wilde?)

marian's neither here nor there, yet benefitting from both attitude is the racism that made her fall out with peggy because she always thinks she's right when she really hasn't experienced enough yet

george russell has the biggest dick i've never seen

bertha has an equally sized dick i've never seen

miranda what are you doing here?

crazy that they're all fighting about new and old money but all of their funding is built on the backs of the impoverished

i love that bertha doesn't look like a petite little thing yet her energy is just so sexy

the look of the brook relatives is soooo interesting like all of their noses match and the hair colours are slight variations of the same thing so they could actually be related if you didn't know it was a series

marian looks like a schoolteacher and i hate it but love it at the same time. she pisses me off to some extent

people rewear their clothing

different accents despite everyone living at the same time to show their varying backgrounds

[late-moonie-thoughts]

i don't know if george russell ever cheats but that man has the biggest dick i've never seen

[urparty]

being in my 20s is like I understand more of my mother and less than i ever have. My childhood friends are strangers to me and there’s no one i know better. i want to drink wine. i never stopped wanting to climb trees. i know more than I’ve ever known before. I don’t know anything at all. i’m seven years old and sixteen and twenty nine and seventy. I can’t tell when i'm happy. I think the only thing that will make me happy is to be little again. i want to be really old. i go to the ocean and feel like nothing matters more than that. in my bedroom everything matters so much. I go to the grocery store every day. i know how to cook a lot of things but the only thing i know how to eat is fried eggs. I can take care of myself but i want to be taken care of. i want to go home and I don't know where that is. i think it may be somewhere inside of me but i’m not sure

[late-moonie-thoughts]

in a world where everything is fast, nobody explains anything properly, and i feel like everything is read is a fast food in word form - i crave deep immersion and getting used to things again

[late-moonie-thoughts]

the christian to atheist to loass/loa to witch pipeline is crazy because why am i realising that my mom is a witch due to her absolutely insane goatmouth and let's not even get started on the fact that my great grandmother was a taino.

[late-moonie-thoughts]

"it's her feminine chaos."

no, yall are in your 30s with undiagnosed audhd, and you're used to managing others so you're not "in your masculine" you're in your aware state of mind to manage someone who doesn't know how to manage their adhd. it's not a gendered thing. god

[late-moonie-thoughts]

"i separate the artist from the art"

oh but how can you? ariana has never sang ghostin live - she's never even spoken about it except for the zach sang show and that's because zach was one who brought it up in the first place. she shot it down immediately.

every two years (cough, cough, the time between album releases) she has another song about how this one is true love. and they're all about different men.

sis said break up with your gf bc i'm bored and then went with a married man because of some "interaction [she'd been] thinking bout for like 5 weeks".

you cannot separate the art from the artist when the art is the artist's way of processing experiences. it is the child of their experience, a living manifestation of their way of experiencing life.

[late-moonie-thoughts]

also minor update - not sure if i privated this but my best friend of 6 years left the chat and it ruined me for an entire year. now i'm kinda over it, mostly because i realised i need to focus on doing what i want, including being around people who match my energy

[late-moonie-thoughts]

it's so funny how for the longest time i couldn't see or perceive anything i wanted but the second i decided i was gonna stop putting so much effort into to people who don't match my energy - i have all the clarity in the world

[late-moonie-thoughts]

now all those things in my head that i've wanted make perfect sense without me feeling like i'm forcing it

[late-moonie-thoughts]

it's so funny how for the longest time i couldn't see or perceive anything i wanted but the second i decided i was gonna stop putting so much effort into to people who don't match my energy - i have all the clarity in the world

[late-moonie-thoughts]

getting back into ouat is wild because everything is rumple's fault

[late-moonie-thoughts]

i just need to make out with someone for two hours then go home