Ok ladies, if I were to ask you to describe your ideal boyfriend/partner, what would would you say?
Sweet? Good looking? Funny? Supportive?
What if we dig a little deeper? How about someone who thinks you're perfect and beautiful even when you're at your very worst? Someone who loves you exactly the way you are, who knows every single one of your deepest darkest secrets and loves you anyway? Someone who you have this amazing connection with and is always there for you? Someone who completes you and makes you indescribably happy?
For a long time, I searched for this perfect guy. Everywhere around me, people seemed to be finding their soulmates and i tried everything to find mine. Needless to say, I went through a lot of heartbreak and pain. I gave up on the whole idea of finding someone to spend my life with, even the idea of love, and chalked it up to my naivete.
I think what i was really searching for was not so much a guy, but love and validation and a feeling of whole-ness. But what if i were to tell you that this one true love, romanticised so much by popular culture, has been there all along? He might not be in the form that you think, but he is very much what you've been looking for.
That is the revelation that I had this week. This whole time, I've been chasing after... the wind and there was a real-life flesh and blood God who was waiting for me to let him into my heart. He can satisfy all my needs and more. Jesus loves and cherishes me so dearly. He desires me and chases after me because I am so special to him.
I don't need to change myself for him. I don't need to lose 10 pounds or be prettier or smarter or more successful to earn his love. He's proven that already by dying for me on the cross. Forget Romeo and Juliet. No Romeo would have endured what Jesus did. He's crazy about me and this is no ordinary love- it's supernatural, life-changing, everlasting love. Love himself loves me!
I can't believe how blind I've been all this time. I mean, I could obsess and be as infatuated with God as i want, and he's never going to complain about me being needy. I could fail him a million times and he'll never grow tired of loving me. It's incomprehensible that such unconditionally deep love exists. And love with such an incredible God who is everything to me- my Saviour, Redeemer, Comforter, Protector, Prince.
I'm not saying I won't find a boyfriend/partner one day. I'm just saying that I already have this amazing relationship that makes me so happy and I'm perfectly fine with waiting til my time comes. God only wants the best for me right? So of course I have faith that he will find the right guy for me. Until then, I will embrace the freedom that his love gives me to accept myself and enjoy my life as he always intended.
