They see me nerdin', they hatin'

what?

[cheekbonered]

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

[southernsnowdogs]

This was wild from start to finish.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[squided]

your golden retriever has evolved into an emerald retriever

[fndungeonmom]

it’s the shiny version of the golden retriever

[weenies]

@yevgenymilkovich

[tattoome]

[gurupuffs]

sweet honey glazed hell on rye shut the fuck up get a fucking tattoo if you want a tattoo. tattoos dont have to have a deep meaning or significance if you don’t want just get the fucking tattoo. who cares who fucking cares. life is meaningless. we all die.

[gurupuffs]

here i fixed your bullshit post

[initiala]

A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.”

So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are already legalizing same-sex marriage.

[hinoneko]

They warned us it would be a slippery slope.

[impracticalmagics]

Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people you no longer want in your life.

[cassmarieex]

this is so important

[iaiamothrafhtagn]

some people genuinely have trouble with never being told this. i am reblogging this post in case that includes any of you in my audience.

[pure-earth]

You’re missing the memories, not the person them self

[roughkiss]

You miss the person you thought they were, not who they turned out to be, and that’s okay.

[useless-swedenfacts]

- me, aged 14

[dolichomorph]

i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way.

when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing.

maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns. maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy.

is that magic??

honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better.

[lady-kaede-deactivated20181029]

My ankles never twist.  I’ve always been rather active, I did track for five years (all the running events), and one time while running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe, and landed sprawling about five feet away.  I pulled my shoe on and kept running.

I have a coworker who somehow makes better coffee than everyone else even though the grounds come pre-measured and all you have to do is load them up and push a button.  I have a friend who has inch long nails that never break.  My brother can copy origami just by looking at the finished product and my mother can do the same with knots.  I knew a guy who never made an error when typing.

Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you don’t realize you have.  Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside.

[toocutetopay-deactivated2016021]

this is the cutest post i have ever read…

[hijacker-deactivated20160621]

can u imagine how small the worlds population would be if vaginas had to reach an orgasm in order to get pregnant

[lestradeisasilverfox-deactivate]

most people don’t appreciate Ed enough

[noobtheloser]

[birdungehrl]

I thought it was gonna end on the pun AND THEN IT GOT BETTER

[macdoesit]

This is how I celebrate Marriage Equality

[transwolvie]

send this to your crush with no context

[mouthfullofsxnd]

I’m actually crying

[amusementforme]

[melaninboy]

[gingahhh]

masculinity is so fragile

[gallnerkyle]

[theinturnetexplorer]

A Real Hero

[formerlymyladymother-blog]

i hate when people are like “only dogs can give u love and affection cats are cold and elusive” like okay dog person if you had ever actually owned a cat you would know they are the neediest fucking creatures on the planet

cats will literally sit on your head until you pay attention to them

[mammacarnage]

That proves the point, they want attention, they want you to pay attention to them not them!

[myutsuumoved-deactivated2014052]

cats show affection and love in their own way

for example

actually holding eye contact with you and blinking slowly is how cats ‘kiss’

cats choose to sleep or sit next to you even if you’re busy when they have a million other places to be because they like your company

they consider positive attention love

when they ‘headbutt’ you it’s called ‘bunting’ and it’s how they show affection

when they knead you it’s because they feel comforted

they think of you petting them as grooming- it makes them feel good so they will ask for you to pet them (or demand) especially if they’re feeling sad

cats like to step on you because they mark you with their scent from their little feet telling other cats BACK THE FUCK OFF THIS HUMAN IS MINE

cats will lick you or groom you because they want you to be clean and happy

they bring you dead things because they don’t want you to starve

cats think of humans as parents whereas dogs think of humans as the alpha dog

http://catpsychology.org/

[theironman]

DID EVERYONE SEE THIS