A lot can change in 7 days
Last Monday I was dreading going back to work.
I had just spent the previous week and some days in the capital: doing a second round of Creole training, saying goodbye to volunteers finishing their service, saying hello to the new group that’s just getting started, spending quality time with my first doña from training, deepening relationships, visiting my boyfriend, reading A LOT, catching up on sleep. Overall, it was wonderful. I wasn’t ready to get back to the day-to-day rhythms in site. Partly because I still don’t have a clear idea of what my job is.
Almost 7 months in site and I’m still struggling with that? Yeah. We often hear from older volunteers that the first few months, even the whole first year, is spent “figuring it out,” developing trust with our neighbors and coworkers, understanding what life is like here, trying and failing lots of times, all while we’re still learning what sustainable development work means and how we even do it. For many, it’s not until the second year that they find their way through the maze of language barriers and cultural differences and “finally get to work.”
Hearing this and believing my older, wiser, fellow PCVs didn’t really mean I was comfortable with it, though. I wanted a clearer picture, yet I was having a hard time even feeling motivated to try. During my wonderful week I had also had time to reflect on what my service has looked like up to this point, and I realized it was something like a scattered, messy, confusing pile of mismatched puzzle pieces that weren’t all fitting together. I was heading back to site feeling a bit discouraged, a bit insecure, a bit lost.
And honestly, this past week was rough. Events went long, I lost my patience, I didn’t get enough sleep, I missed home a little extra. There were some pretty low lows in there. But there were also highs. And I’m talking mountain peak highs. And lots of them.
Within just seven days, my attitude and perspective were completely turned around. It feels like I have refreshed inspiration and a new sense of direction moving forward. And though it’s 11 o'clock at night and I gotta be up early tomorrow, I want to celebrate and share with you all about all the highs of this past week:
+ The director of my school expressed interest in starting Brigada Verde, an environmental initiative at the school. It covers 10 basic topics in environmental education, helping kids to learn about the beautiful diversity of their island, to identify the problems that exist within their community, their country and the world, and to recognize the impact they are capable of making. As soon as I heard about this program during training, I wished for a site where this would be a desire by the community or school I was placed in. Wish granted!
+ A fifth grade student took over what I was doing with some younger students at recess: reading aloud and playing games to identify letters and sounds. Just a tiny glimpse at sustainability.
+ I skyped my mom for 3 hours. I was reminded of how easy it is to talk to her, because she listens but also helps me to process through the things I’m dealing with. So, so grateful for her.
+ A mom in the community offered to host and co-lead a family program I’ve been hoping to start up. Its main purpose is to facilitate conversation, share struggles and success stories, and overall create a support system within the parents and guardians in the community as they seek to lead strong, healthy, loving families.
+ I attended church with a local coworker, on a night when Brazilian missionaries were visiting to share a message and lead worship. They played “Oceans,” a song i know well and has deep significance for me, so I sang along in English as the people around me sang the same words in Spanish and the guy up front with his guitar sang the same words to the same God in Portuguese. I was captivated.
+ I discussed ideas with my counterparts about different murals and art projects that they’re wanting to get started and work on throughout the next school year. Yay painting!
+ At a regional meeting with all the education volunteers, creativity flowed as we bounced thoughts off each other, and I left with a new idea about how to collaborate to asses and improve the use of classroom mobile libraries.
+ I read. I finished a book I had started back in Seattle, a gift from my old pastor and boss, and started a new book that I’ve been wanting to read for years. The repetition of some themes was undeniable, and as I read and reflected and journaled, I felt God getting through to me. I’m learning how to let go, how to not hold on to things so tightly, not because I don’t care or they don’t matter, but because of my faith in His active, grace-filled, purposeful work in my life and in this world.
+ And, just because I was at the right place at the right time, I found a group of young girls in my neighborhood that are excited to start a small group, Chicas Brillantes, over the summer. We’ll spend time getting to know each other better and doing fun activities that promote creativity, self-esteem, nutrition, and responsibility.
Last Monday, I was dreading going back to work, feeling lonely, uninspired, unmotivated.
Today, I reflect back and feel overwhelmingly fortunate to be where I am, to be surrounded by these people, to be loved and sought after by Jesus, to have found direction and be gifted with the strength to keep moving forward!
germansingergirl
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
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romaincrisis
andulkaphoto
origamiaround
kianamaiart