“So I figured, why not take my chance to flirt with a cute girl instead? You never know when it’ll be the last time.”
This quote has me thinking a lot. Ik it’s unlikely that Keefe will somehow end up stabbing himself instead of Gisela (not because he isn’t stupid enough to do so but because his plot amor is impenetrable) but hear me out on the possibility that, for one, he obviously doesn’t die from the stab, and two what if he wanted to stab himself in the process?
This quote implies that before Keefe does what he does, he will never have the chance to “flirt” with Sophie again. Which could mean several things, one being that he thinks taking this risk to kill his mom could result in him also dying, it’s a fight after all. Gisela isn’t some mindless dummy, though I doubt she’d go as far as to murder her lil experiment. Or two, he wants to kill himself in the process. We’ve seen before how Keefe has embraced the idea of letting go as well as seeing himself as the problem. Maybe he thinks killing both himself and Gisela will finally put an end to it all. Or lastly, there is the possibility that he’s just referring to how murdering his mother will get him locked up in Exlie forever.
Ughhh I need book 10 right now I’m spiraling over it
"You can't keep doing this to me, Keefe!" Sophie shouted. "Why do you hide things from me? You promised! But who am I kidding. That's never meant anything to you before."
She turned away. She couldn't make herself look her boyfriend in the eye. All she would find was hurt and betrayal.
"I couldn't, Foster," he pleaded. "You don't know how much this has torn me apart. But I swore I wouldn't."
"And you swore to me that you would stop hiding stuff from me!"
Keefe stared up at the ceiling for a second. "That's.... a different circumstance. I had to. I didn't want something to happen if I did."
"And how did that work out for you, huh?" Sophie stepped closer. "We could've been able to protect Eleanor if you just told us. Now she's captured, and we don't have any idea where."
"I thought I was protecting her!" He ran his hands through his hair. "I didn't tell anyone to protect her. She asked me to!"
"And how many times have I told you things I said I wouldn't share?"
She had too much on her mind at the moment. It was a swirling together into some huge monster. The beginning wisps of a thought of a plan on how to save Eleanor were at the edges of her brain. Everything with Elysian and Stellerlune was jumbled in there.
But at the moment, only one question broke through it all. "Is there anything else you're keeping from me?"
Keefe's features scrunched up with shame. He turned to try and hide his tears.
"Never mind," she grumbled. "I need time to think right now. Please, just... leave."
"Sophie!" He begged.
"Leave! It's the least you can do right now."
Keefe opened his mouth to argue, but he paused. His chin started to wobble, and a quiet sound that was reminiscent of a sob escaped. He proved to have some sort of preservation instincts when he shut his mouth and walked out the door without another word.
(Keefe pov)
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" He screamed at himself. Each shout of the word was punctuated with the punch of the wall.
By the time he was finished with the outburst, his knuckles were bruised and bloodied. He slid down the wall of his bedroom, clutching his wounded hand.
He didn't want to mess up his and Sophie's relationship. But he should've known he was screwed from the start.
He never told her the things he found in the Forbidden Cities. He'd been planning to, he truly was. He just never got around to it yet.
Then they got a message from his mother, saying that she had captured Eleanor Olivia Wright. He was forced to fess up then and there.
Now Keefe could feel himself falling apart. He had broken Sophie's trust for the billionth time.
He didn't know what to do. He thought he was doing the right thing by keeping her identity secret, even from his friends. But all the things he thought he was preventing by keeping quiet were happening.
He was slipping, slipping, slipping into a dark abyss.
He wanted to be a good person. For her.
But he was a failure at everything he did. He was helpless.
He wished he could do well. But he never knew how. Everything he did always seemed to shatter everything further. The fissures continued to spider up and across his sanity, just hardly holding on.
Only Sophie grounded him to what was real. He knew it wasn't healthy, but he'd be lying by saying that wasn't the truth.
But Keefe may have just shattered her trust in him beyond repair. He didn't know if it was possible to pick the pieces he shattered up again to put them back together.
(Sophie pov)
After Keefe left, Sophie stalked downstairs. Grady glanced at her with suspicious eyes as she crossed the room.
"Everything alright, Kiddo?" He asked her.
She nodded. She didn't need Grady getting into protective dad mode over this. She just needed time to cool off. Even if it was tempting letting him clobber Keefe, she didn't need that added to her plate.
Grady studied her further, seemingly looking past the facade she tried to put on. "Did That Boy-?"
"No!" She cut him off. "He's just being stupid, right now. I've taken care of it. You don't need to worry.
He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Sophie," he murmured gently. He wiped the straggler tear from her face. "What happened?"
Against her better judgment, after a moment of silence she said, "He keeps lying to me."
Sophie sank into Grady's hug when he wrapped his strong arms around her. He stroked her hair.
"Do I need to talk to him?"
She shook her head. "I already took care of it. I just needed time to breathe."
"Alright, Kiddo. I trust you."
Sophie stood there, letting Grady hold her. She was trying her very best to keep all of the shattered pieces Keefe had broken together.
She wanted to be able to trust him. But everything he kept doing was making it difficult.
Her brain was screaming at her to run far, far away. If this kept going, she didn't know if she could make this relationship work.
But... but. That feeling deep in her chest squirmed at the thought. The emotional pang that kept her from giving up on him times before, nagged at her heartstrings.
Sophie cared for him. Even if it was to her detriment. She wasn't ready to give up on him just yet.
However, at the place they were, she didn't know how. All the efforts she made to help him were in vain if he didn't want to help himself.
(Keefe pov)
Keefe sat curled up on the floor by his bed. He'd been staring at the blank screen of the imparter for what felt like hours.
He'd been debating if hailing Sophie would be a smart idea. She had asked for space. And he was willing to give it to her. But the idea of not apologizing gnawed at his heart.
But what if she didn't want to speak to him? What if that was the tipping point for her?
They'd only been 'officially' together for hardly a week. And Keefe would really appreciate it if his first kiss, first relationship, and first breakup wasn't all in less the span of a month's time.
But... wouldn't staying silent be worse?
He reached for the square gadget, pushing through his uncertainty, and whispered Foster's name into the speaker.
With each ring, it felt like it was sucking the air out of the room by the fifth, he was sure she wouldn't awnser.
But....
"Hello?" Sophie's voice said through the device.
Keefe sucked in a breath.
"Hey..." He murmured. "I just... wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier. And for everything in general." He shifted the imparter to the opposite hand. "I've been a crappy boyfriend. And a crappy friend beforehand. I don't know what it will take for you to trust me again, but I want to try. Even if," his voice cracked, "If you don't think you can handle being with me. I just... needed to say something."
He started getting ready to end the call with a sigh. "Ok. That's all. I'll leave you be."
Before he disconnected, Sophie said, "Wait!" Keefe looked back at the screen. "I'd rather talk it out before jumping to places I think we'll both regret. If you'd like, you can come over, and we'll discuss it."
He nodded. "I'd like that."
With the comfort of having a chance to make things right, it felt like a weight being lifted off his shoulders. He'd make it right. Even if it took a lifetime.
Being met with Grady at the door may have just been scarier than the conversation Keefe had ahead of him. Especially so when Grady glared at him before gesturing upstairs.
Keefe high tailed it up the steps, not waiting for the chance to be brutally murdered for making his daughter cry. He only stopped once he was at the door to Foster's bedroom.
He hesitated a second before knocking. He was met with Sophie. Her brown eyes rimmed with red and blotchy skin.
His chest tightened at the sight.
He had done that. He had made her lose trust and hope in him. He had made her cry like that.
After what felt like minutes of staring back and forth, Keefe had murmured, "You wanted to talk?"
"Yeah." Sophie crossed the petal covered carpet to her bed. She sat down on the mattress, the shift of the weight causing Ella to flop over.
(Sophie pov)
Sophie's eyes tracked Keefe as he came to sit beside her. He kept a healthy amount of space between them. But to her, it felt huge.
She missed him. Not just his presence.
Being able to trust him. Being able to know what he's saying is true. Him trusting her enough to share these details.
Sophie missed the real Keefe.
Could they go back to that? Should they?
She sure wanted to.
"I really am sorry, Sophie," Keefe whispered.
"I know you are."
"How can I make it right?"
Sophie looked up to meet his pleading eyes. They were sincere. She knew his heart was in the right place. Even if his head wasn't
But even with the attempt at justification, it didn't take away any of the pain it caused. Truly, she didn't know how she could trust him again.
That.
The broken, shameful truth.
She didn't know.
She wanted to forgive him. But... after everything he did. It was hard.
"I don't know," she eventually murmured.
Keefe sunk. He closed his eyes, all of his features scrunching together. When he opened his eyes back up, they were filled with tears.
"Ok." He murmured.
He started to stand, but Sophie reached out and grabbed his arm. "Hey."
He turned his head.
She leaned up on her toes to press kiss on his lips.
"I want to make this work," she assured him. "I just need you to work with me."
Keefe took her hands, staring at their intertwined fingers. He looked up into her eyes. "What do I need to do? Please."
"How about we start with the other things you're hiding from me."
He sighed. "Ok, but you're going to hate me for this."
"I won't," Sophie promised. "Just talk to me. Please."
"Ok," Keefe resigned. "It started when I was in this library."
As Keefe told the story of how he found Alvar, Sophie studied him. She could see the guilt swimming in his eyes. As upset as she was, she knew the amount he must be shouldering wasn't good for him.
Sophie placed a hand on his arm when he finished. "Thank you." He didn't meet her eyes. "Seriously. This helps a lot."
"It does?" He glanced up with hope.
"Yes. Just... try to keep telling the truth. It'll take you places. I promise."
Sophie accepted his open arms. She felt the warmth and forgiveness in his embrace. She melted against him when she felt all of the tension drain from his body.
I've held this in for such a long time, and I have to say this. The way people on here talk about the children in this fandom is so WEIRD. You can hide behind calling them the "Pinterest" or "Instagram" fans, but these posts are actually just making fun of the 12-year-olds who like this book. And I don't mean to be that person, but the kotlc fandom should theoretically be their space not ours anyways. Idk but it gives me a bad taste to see people make fun of the childish takes that CHILDREN make in fandom spaces that should be for THEM. To call them attractions or say they have bad reading comprehension is just odd. Like you are an adult, what are you doing. And it's one thing to poke fun of them on Tumblr since not a lot of young kids are on here anyways, but its another thing to make accounts on Pinterest specifically to invade their space and lowkey taunt them. Which is why I made this post in the first place. Get any other hobby. Engage with takes by people your own age. You sound like the "I challenged a 9-year-old kid to a basketball game and won" guy.
thinking of kotlc again, and thinking that Shannon Messenger was definitely trying to cook something
She introduced a plot about how Sophie is a GMO, how the Matching system pairs people who will likely produce a Talented Elf, and they can only produce one ,after which any subsequent attempts would be met with scorn, DESPITE HAVING A VERY LOW POPULATION OF ELVES TO BEGIN WITH and then they go around saying that they are immortal, are allergic to being evil and cannot fathom it, and declare themselves The SUPREME SPECIES OF THE WORLD, like what basis was selected to determine this?
I wonder how much would have changed had Sophie been raised among say, trolls, or dwarves or gnomes
I feel like the series would have SLAPPED if it were about the ethics of eugenics, whether they are good or bad or neither, but Im worried its going to be another "good guy vigilante team defeats bad guy vigilante team because natural storytelling order"
alvars so so so interesting to me. he hated his brother and his family because he was overlooked. he let the neverseen do whatever they wanted to him and did whatever they told him to do because he thought they cared about/needed him, something he didnt have before.
they left him to die. all he wanted was somewhere quiet to do it after everything. he gave up. but despite all odds the humans found him and gave him a second chance. and he hasnt looked back because he finally realized the neverseen didnt give a shit abt him.
i dont think it was ever actually about changing the world or doing good or whatever. i dont think he had any strong ties to the cause, he just wanted to be worth something to someone, and the neverseen gave him that feeling. he doesnt really regret anything he did, but thats because he never had any strong emotions about it to begin with. he only cut ties and moved on with his life after he realized that the neverseen wouldn't actually give what what he wanted. that they never cared about him.
hes selfish and apathetic but i think maybe the humans changed that a bit. they gave him a chance. they healed him. he has a new start and its because of them and hes making the best of it.
"fitz was right to never forgive alvar" and "alvar is capable of growing and becoming a better person no matter what depths he's sunk to because there is no point at which you lose the ability to change and improve" are two things that can, and do, coexist. unforgivable and irredeemable are two different things
I’ve seen a lot of discourse about this in the tags and people saying that ppl aren’t hostile or anon needs to curate their experience better. I think what this is coming from is a larger internet problem of trying to make yourself sound smarter than others when you have an opinion about something. Not everyone on here does it and there are plenty of friendly and welcoming people but of course it’s going to feel hostile when posts can be made with that kind of condescending tone. I think it’s a trap that everyone can fall into and collectively I think we all need to consider the way we come off and whether or not it’s really necessary.
i'm gonna call it now I think when kotlc ends in like 10 years, we'll get an epilogue, and it'll be some kind of party where Sandor finally wears those silver pants
plz don’t make me flop like my last post I was desperate I put so much energy to finish this just before the deadline 🤕 BTW VOTE FOR MY DRAWING ON KOTLC FANBASE CHANNEL PLZ /!\
