i went to a super super autistic drag show tonight and i almost cried i’ve never felt the need to happy stim before but i did tonight, my friend afterwards was like “i’ve never seen you do that i didn’t want to say anything incase you stopped” but omgggg it was insane i don’t know what to do with myself.
it was a nerdy drag show they did Good Omens, Killing Eve, Glee, Our Flag Means Death, Avatar, What We Do In The Shadows… my cheeks were hurting by the end from smiling it was incredible i’ve never been in such an autistic space with my interests i could’ve cried i almost did honestly.
i started the night non verbal and by the end i went up to one of the hosts and told them how much i loved it and ive never felt so comfortable to do that before.
it was so strange i haven’t thought of my ex properly for years, i’ve been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years now, but this drag show made me realise how much me and my ex had in common. don’t get me wrong i don’t miss her at all or regret us breaking up, but i miss the fact we watched the same nerdy shows and i haven’t met anyone who watched ALL the same shows as me. our autistic special interests matched to a T and idk who else to freak out over these things with now who understand. my girlfriend is so so supportive and my rock and idk what id do without her but whilst she has adhd she doesn’t have autism and doesn’t watch or like the same shows as me which are my main special interests and it kinda sucks how she doesn’t get me like that. idk i think this made me realise how fucking much i’m masking in my job and everywhere. if u met me irl you’d think im just a quiet -maybe a bit standoffish rude- twentysomething but this place made me want to stim publicly and infodump and screammmmmm i had such a good night
anyway these spaces change lives fr fr im going to every single performance they do next and i just needed a rant as no one else understands properly so thanks tumblr for being my diary space once in a blue moon for feeling fully understood
