â welcome to lavieenton â
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Genevieve de La Croix
Ceara Dempsey
Riya Das
about the author: lucky, 24, she/her/hers, central time, triggers: sexual assault and suicide
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@lavieenton
â welcome to lavieenton â
multimuse blog for The Ton HQ
Genevieve de La Croix
Ceara Dempsey
Riya Das
about the author: lucky, 24, she/her/hers, central time, triggers: sexual assault and suicide
"Thankfully, he likes me," she said, trying to be playful, but the concern that Edgar would likely hate her for the rest of his days when he discovered her lie overshadowed any attempts at humor. Genevieve wanted everything with Edgar, but as long as she continued lying and as long as Dominic hated her with every fibre of his being, Edgar would remain out of reach.
She nodded, holding Sardine out to him. She had to depart soon, having recalled the fact that she had others coming to the palace soon for an afternoon in the drawing room. But Frederic was right. She longed to spend time with Edgar truthfully, not under the guise of the fable she told. Even if the fable was simply an omission, it meant more that she hardly spoke of her life when he was willing to lie down everything.
Genevieve did admit, "I tried telling him once. But it appeared everything was going poorly or interrupting me. It was aggravating." But she knew what Frederic would say. That she was obligated to try again until the truth came from her lips, and hers only. "Not even for Edgar's birthday? That is the only reason I plan to attend. You should come with us. I heard there's a jaguar in one of the tents."
Frederic carefully took Sardine into his arms, and Sardine pressed his face against his owner's shoulder. He's purring- what a spoiled little thing. Â "Edgar won't hate you," He promised. "I just want my brother to be with someone honest with him," He tells her. "That's all..." He trails off.
"I see...well, you outta keep trying. "He snorts. He looks more at ease with her. He gently rubbed the top of his kitten's head. "You know, it won't be easy. Love isn't the easiest thing. I think love causes more heartbreak than anything else." He sighs. "
"Maybe...if it's Edgar..." He hummed. He would really do anything for his brother- "Someone I know might go as well..." He thought for a moment back to Ceara- who he wants to be around- and he wants to make sure she's alright after everything that happened with Dominic...."You might see me there," He offered. He wasn't really planning on going, but it seemed that people might actually want him around.
The words echoed in her mind, sure to haunt her until the ghost of her lie returns to life. Frederic was not wrong or misguided for wanting the best for his brother, including who he would be possibly courting. If her brother were here, Genevieve was certain he would be as wary of others on her behalf.
"You seem to know about that all too well," she said. She had only heard of Mary Barnett, but Edgar did not dig into his brother's demons with her out of respect. Granted, they hardly spoke of his brothers during their language lessons. "Which, I'm terribly sorry for."
Genevieve did finally smile, tilting her head. "Good. I appreciate your willingness to speak with me. And letting me bond with your lovely boy here," she cooed as she looked at Sardine. "And for your honesty. I will be careful with your brother's heart, and grant him the candor he deserves. I do believe I must depart now, but I truly do hope to see you at the fair, Monsieur O'Connor."
She dipped into an elegant curtsy before walking down the hall to exit the residence, silent as a spirit.
Genevieve would have paid attention to the men and their insistence, to the way fear licked up her spine despite a favor only being a measly scrap of fabric or a kiss upon one's cheek. But something told her that not all men held favors from a young woman in such a simplistic regard. And they outnumbered her tenfold. Was she obligated to offer her favour to every single one of them?
But all of that faded as her eyes remained fixed on Edgar. The set of his jaw, the subtle fierce glint in his eyes. The hitch in her breath was subtle but not something she could explain away either. Words were beyond them, and a simple shift here or a tug there told both of them what the other wanted to know. My lady, he had said. A warmth bloomed in her stomach and were it not for her anxiety, she would have been smiling. She was his lady for the evening. His chosen person to attend the fair with, and the claiming of such was exhilirating.
"Edgar--"
For once, Genevieve was supportive of William's hesitance, concerned about Edgar's impulses. She reached a hand to try tugging him back, but it was no use. It was not lost on her that his forearms were on display, strong and certain with a dusting of hair. It hardly held a candle to what she saw during her first visit, but she wouldn't be picky about the sight of his comfort. Or, undressing for a battle he planned to fight like hell in.
The next series of events happened as quickly as the decision was made. Her eyes never left him. He was steadfast in his effort, muscles pulled taut beneath his dress shirt. There was a split second where she was sure he would win, but then...
SPLAT!
Genevieve let out a sharp gasp, covering her mouth. Perhaps it appeared more painful than it was, but the embarrassment likely overshadowed any pain settling in his bones. Ignoring the cacophony of the winning sides' glory, she hurried over and leaned over him. "Are you alright? Oh, mon amourâŚ"
She brushed some strands of his hair back. Despite her worries, the movement was tender, careful. As if he were made of porcelain, and she was sharp enough to crack him. Then, she offered the same hand to help him up.
For a moment, Edgar knew only the sky. Lantern smoke drifted across the stars, the crowd roaring somewhere beyond him, while the mud accepted his fall with humiliating enthusiasm. His arms burned from shoulder to wrist where the rope had torn through his grip. His thighs throbbed sharply, muscles still trembling from the strain. He could feel every inch of the defeat: the slip of his boots, the useless fight for balance, the dreadful certainty that he was about to go down in front of half the fair.
An angel appeared above him. Her worried face, her hand smoothing his hair back with such tenderness, made the pain fade into something far less important. His breath caught at her soft voice; she sounded like an angel. Looked like an angel. Was his angel. Angel-Genevieve. "I shall live," he managed, accepting her hand. Standing hurt more than he wished to admit. Pain flared through his arms and thighs, and though he tried to rise with dignity, the tightening of his mouth betrayed him. So did the mud streaking his waistcoat and sleeve. He brushed uselessly at himself. "I had hoped to look a little more heroic at the end."
The victors were still shouting. Edgar could endure that. Until one of them called, "Where's our prize, then?" Another laughed. "Aye, the lady's favour! We won it fair!" Something in Edgar went cold. Before he thought about anything else, he crossed the space between him and his tug-of-war opponents. Catching the nearest man by the front of his shirt, Edgar dragged him close enough for the laughter to die in his throat. "You won a rope," Edgar said quietly. "Not her." The crowd hushed. The man swallowed. "Say another word as though she is something owed to you, and I shall- " "Mr O'Connor." William's voice cut in, calm and firm. Edgar did not release the man at once. His arms burned, his breath came hard, and every part of him wanted to finish the threat. "Sir," William said again. "Not here." Genevieve was here. That reached him. Slowly, Edgar let the man go.
For a moment, he stood there with his hands still curled, anger burning hot beneath the mud and embarrassment. Then he drew a breath and turned slightly. "My coat, Will." William handed it over without a word. Edgar pulled out the purse of coins he had meant to offer earlier and tossed it to the men. "There," he said, voice carrying. "A prize for the winning team." His gaze moved over them all, sharp and steady. "You may win coin. You may win applause. You may even win the right to say you dragged me through the mud." A faint ripple of laughter passed through the crowd. "But you do not win a lady's favour by strength of arm."
Edgar returned to Genevieve slowly, his legs aching and his pride thoroughly ruined. When he reached her, his anger softened. "I am sorry," he said quietly. "I did not mean to frighten you." His gaze flicked back toward the men. "But I could not listen to them speak of you as though you were some ribbon to be claimed." He flexed one raw hand and winced despite himself, but tried to push the pain aside, even if the pain resembled the kind he'd endured in the orphanage. A soft smile still grew though, as he looked back at the woman in front of him. "Your favour is yours, Genevieve. Not mine to wager. Not theirs to demand."
"You were heroic where it counted," Genevieve said, her voice gentle and reassuring. The winners didn't matter to her, nor did the excitable announcer who gestured to her and any favors she would have to grant the group. Her smile was sweet and sure when she looked up at him, but it faded as quickly as it'd come hearing the displeased jeers of the victors.
Just as before, everything happened quicker than she could comprehend. A soft gasp escaped her throat and she covered her mouth, watching the confrontation unfold. Edgar had been as harmless as clean air, but it wasn't him that she was afraid of. No, it was the man's fate clutched in his fists. Her mother had always told her when a man's anger is at its worst when it's quiet, subtle. Her father was never a quiet man, so she never saw the signs. But looking at Edgar now in this impassioned state, he had been against this idea, to begin with. Even despite his agreement, he hadn't done it for himself, and it was all the more clear now.
But there was something else. A tugging at her heart and belly. He didn't allow them to simply have her favor, one that she was vehemently unwilling to give. He'd cherished it, kept it tucked beneath his ribs like a lifeline. Even if it meant embarrassing himself, or threatening the life of a man with no sense of respect. She loved him, and she needed to tell him the truth. It was the least she could do after he'd laid down his dignity for her sake.
Genevieve was silent as his apology came. Instead of answering Edgar outright, she kept her eyes on him as she said, "Monsieur William, will you find ice nearby? It appears Monsiuer O'Connor is in need of more assistance than our words."
Gnawing at her lower lip, she took Edgar's sleeve and gently tugged him towards a thicket of trees, urging him to lean against a hefty trunk. She was slow in her gait for him, aware of the restless way he stood and the grimace on his face. Once they were entirely out of sight, she brought his face into her hands and planted a firm kiss to his mouth. It was brief, not enough to stir more than mismatched breaths.
"My favor is mine," she agreed once she pulled away, peering up at him through her lashes. "Not yours to wager, and not theirs to demand. But because it is mine, I am choosing to give it to you."
Riya trailed her way through the fair with an innocent curiosity that bordered childlike. For all the traveling she did in the past decade, the simplicities of a local fair grabbed her attention like a cat who got the cream. But any semblance of wondered dimmed when sad, confused eyes reflected her face back at her as she wandered into the Menagerie of Curiosities. She spotted a group of children and their parents in awe of an elephant wearing a decal between its eyes. Others gathered around a pacing lion, golden mane and sleek body giving away to fear disguised as anger in the way he paced his prison.
It wasnât until she looked to the black jaguar that her vision gave way to Princess Sophia, whose sympathy was worn clear in the set of her shoulders. Without realizing, she flitted herself towards the English princess and stood beside her as she looked closely at the jaguar. Circling the cage, light reflecting off its eyes in that ferocious way that scared off most people.
Finally, she spoke before the silence stretched into discomfort. âItâs a shame, is it not? Trapping them there for the entertainment and fodder of others?â Enjoying the fair did not mean enjoying every aspect of it. And being well-educated and a lover of all things did not mean she had to enjoy this. No one had to, and yet so many people found themselves drawn to caged animals being forced to display their beauty, their natural prowess that humans felt inclined to contain.
Riya turned her body towards Sophia now. âWeâve not had the chance to speak since my arrival, Your Highness. Iâm relieved to find you here,â she crooned. She hadnât spoken to any one of the nobility since her return to Mayfair, the distraction of everyone and everything hammering in all at once.
Such a beautiful yet fearsome creature was nothing like anyone had ever seen in London, most were enthralled by the zebraâs of all things, quickly moving on from the jaguar, but the princess remained in place and in awe of it. The creature had an air of grace that most would covet and yet it was trapped between bars, far away from home, such a fate that the princess would share if the dowager queen had her way. âIt is and yet you and I are the very reason why they do it, for us to basque in the splendour of it while condemning the very act of it, but if this is the only way we can see such magnificence then I shall forgive the two of us and our enjoyment of it.â The handler spoke of the rainforests that had once inhabited this very creature and the man made it sound like a far away dream, a land conceived from pure imagination yet this creature was the very proof that such a place existed. The host made it sound preferable to London, though most would choose a wild rainforest than facing Lady Whistledown. âAs am I though I do hope it is not awkward between us two, the king did not want to revoke your sisters title but he was pressured by the lords and ministers of the lands. Many think the king is not beholden to anyone, but he is at the mercy of his people.âÂ
You and I are the very reason why they do it.
It was true, to her detriment. Although her and the princess were left aghast by the sight of the caged beings, everyone else stared on in astonishment. A young boy went as far as teasing one of the monkeys in its cage, taunting it with a shortbread cookie that he held out of reach. A cruelty learned, and enabled. It disgusted Riya, but Mayfair continued its gleeful ignorance. "Our enjoyment has bounds. That is more likely to soothe our hearts, I would think," she mused, the corner of her mouth lifting into a half smile. She could not say that for many here, as their amusement became the symphony for the menagerie.
The mention of the title revocation caused Riya's smile to fade, but she did shake her head. A reassurance more than a denial of the situation. "It is not your King Arthur that I have my qualms with," she admitted. "In fact, I do not even blame the lords and ministers for their decision. Though, it is painful to see my residence in such disarray."
"Nalan does not know how to close his mouth, per se," Riya began. "But I would hope this forces him to see his words go quite a long way. I can only apologize for his behavior, and that it had to come to the loss of the barony, to begin with."
She needed a major reset. Going back to Ireland was not an option, she didn't have enough money to do so. Admitting the truth she had hid so meticulously would only force her into joblessness and shame. So, Ceara did something she would have never done before: she went to the theatre. She'd heard much of the Heyes Theatre in Covent Garden, the supposedly seedy underbelly of Mayfair. But what everyone else counted as seedy and lusty, she saw a world beneath their real one.
Having seen the play, Ceara was marveled by not only the production, but the quality and the fire in their performances. She couldn't compare it to Theatre Royal, simply because she couldn't see herself fitting the mold there. She heard there was a wonderful opera singer there, but that would be an extravaganza for another evening.
A young woman's rambling drowned out any other thoughts she had, prompting Ceara to look up. "I've not seen the production at the Theatre Royal, but I do not know if they will compare to what I've witnessed tonight," she said, glancing around. "Though, you were not explaining that to me, clearly."
Ceara's mouth twisted into a half smile. "I could help you find your father or we could continue discussing the actress who bested everyone as Rosalind."
Grace's eyes focused on the woman in front of her, smiling politely as she spoke. "No, I was not. I believed my father was beside me, but it seems as though we have drifted."
She stretched her neck and took one final glance over the room, finally finding her father speaking to another lord, clearly distracted. Grace took it as a compliment. He trusted her not to get into any trouble. A compliment she did not deserve, but the freedom was appreciated.
Since the young woman did not appear to care much about her father's distance now that he was found, Ceara chose to disregard him momentarily. She'd heard much about the Barnetts. Their growing circle of girls with a knack for knowledge and the arts. Mary and Harriett were the two she'd come to know the best, and they were as lovely as they were witty. Their education had done them well, to much of their credit and the credit of their fathers.
"I am," she confirmed, her thumb brushing the delicate skin of her own left hand ring finger. A nervous habit, but nothing more than that. "Yes, she's one of my teacher's aides. She's wonderful, and quite fiery. I've been working to gather a few of them before I begin preparations and petitions for opening my school here."
Ceara hadn't expected to be steered away, but she allowed Chloe to tug her along. Taking in her words and Shakespeare's story, she hummed in thought. "I would say I have to agree. I adored Rosalind in this production, and the actress herself was quite impassioned when she spoke her lines. She was not merely reading from a script, but embodying that feeling of needing to be heard," she breathed. "I do believe that Shakespeare was a step away from introducing Rosalind and Phebe as lovers, but dressing her up as a man seemed to soften the blow, so to speak, of what could have been had Rosalind kept her disguise. What do you think of such a theory?"
Riya considered his words but they meant nothing to her. At least, she wished they meant nothing. She found Nalan's advice to be significant, helpful. He only wanted the best for her. He always had, even when they were children. And she wanted her older brother's help without the doubts creeping in.
"So, I'm to be a brooding mare for this man because I've caught his attention," she said, brows knitting into a deep frown. This was one of the primary issues with having returned to England with the marriage market in mind. They were so traditional, but it was past the turn of the century now. Things shouldn't remain as primitive as they were, and yet...
She sighed, his sentiments both aggravating and wearing her down. She didn't answer his question outright, at first. But that was better than throwing caution to the wind and admitting why she truly did not want to entertain Sir Linton. "Nalan, a marriage is not required to be in one place. Even if I agreed to court Sir Linton, who is to say he would even want that after what's happened? I would be ruined goods in his eyes, despite the money we still possess and his newfound interest in my face."
Their familyâs fate was not as stable as it once was and while others blamed Nalan Das for such a thing, and while he was not entirely blameless such a punishment was a harsh one with the timing being a funny thing. The old queen once favoured the Das family, previously personally inviting the family to attend and partake in the social and now the new king clearly favoured their American friends, but Nalan Dasâs mind went to a darker place, perhaps the kingâs bed grew lonely and either Miss Lytton or Miss Elmsworth was one to warm his bed. These favors would most certainly make sense, but Nalan was not dense enough to voice these niggling concerns. âYou are to do what you must for the family and marry someone of note, someone who can help secure connections that father insists on or will you decide to do as you please and forsake your family and their precarious position?â Kavika had not so much as looked in Nalanâs direction, a gesture imitated by their mother while the Das patriarch had deemed it his own personal duty to remind Nalan of his failures on a daily occurrence, mixing up his latest transgressions as of late. âSir Linton needs money and heirs, we need a reputable family and I am the one most are avoiding, while you and Kavika have the sympathy of the ton, can you see how that would work in your favor?â
Riya clenched her jaw, eyes narrowed. Her patience had grown thin with Nalan every chance he had at telling her of a suitor. Granted, her goal was to do so. She had come to Mayfair with the intention to marry and settle with her spouse, but everything was changing around her at the speed of light. She had excelled at keeping her calm, maintaining her peace. But it grew precarious the more their world crumbled at their feet.
"I have done as I pleased for the past decade. And it has treated me quite well. You did as you pleased and look what's happened, Nalan," she retorted with a bitterness rivaling vinegar. "I...I am not sure if I want to participate in this marriage mart any longer. It's too crowded, too shallow. A puddle could hardly compete, let alone myself. And you've not seen the way people look at Kavika and me. They see us as an extension of you, not just your pretty sisters waiting to be swept into the throes of an engagement."
It was her feelings for Charlotte talking. A spouse would ruin that with a quickness. She would be tied to someone else, and she would lose any closeness she previously had with Lottie. They would be on opposite ends of society again.
Riya hugged herself and let out a slow breath. "I do not want the Ton to pity us. I do not need their sympathies, and neither does Kavika. And I do not want any man marrying me because he pities how far the Das name has fallen from grace. What sort of marriage would that make?"
"I am sure it is rather daunting, but it is well-deserved. The audience was entirely full," she marveled. Riya thought it best not to bring attention that all eyes would remain on her in Mayfair, as it appeared to be an unproductive statement to Lottie's nerves on the notion. But her smile didnt dissipate, never in her presence. "It appears so, Miss Debelle."
The knock came like cold water in the summer, sudden and sobering. Oh, no. She didn't want their time to come to its end. It appeared it'd only just began. Riya found herself missing Lottie before she had the chance to depart. But her heart soared when she spoke her next words. Oh. Oh! "I would not to," she rushed out quickly. "I...perhaps we can walk the lantern path tonight, and ride the ferris wheel tomorrow."
Time was knocking at their door--literally--and Riya felt the urgency in their shared breaths. "Will you meet me by the lantern cart? I will have one and wait for you there." It was happening. They would be a pair, publically. She could buy many sweets and other things for the young woman. Anything her heart desired.
Charlotte's lips turned from a worried pout to one radiant smile. The ferris wheel with Riya Das? Oh! How her heart sang! "I will meet you there, Ms Das." She whispered with a racing heart as she gazed into Riya's deep eyes. The urge to lean forward was overwhelming, but she stopped herself. Everything about her was magnetic, it was hard to resist. "I hope you enjoy the rest of the show." She cooed, her fingers brushing against the other's gently before she stood up with a soft, reluctant smile. "You should return to your seat, you won't wan to miss when the curtain opens." She suggested softly, watching with almost sad eyes when the woman left.
Charlotte was completely and utterly smitten.
~Time Skip~
The next day, Charlotte arrived at the Bartholomew Fair. It close to the time the sun would be setting, which Lottie predicted would give them a lovely view of the sky as they sat on the ferris wheel. Her stomach was in knots, a mixture of excitement and nervousness going through her. While she was not exactly a stranger to romantic outings, with Riya it felt different. She was not a prop for her, rather she was her equal. Someone that Riya actually wanted to spend time with. She felt like the luckiest girl alive to have her attention.
In her hand she held a box of macarons she get from one of the vendors, a sweet treat reminding her of home, and one she hoped Riya would enjoy. She stood by the lantern cart, eyes searching the crowd nervously. What if she changed her mind? What if something happened? Anxious thoughts filled her mind before the familiar sweet smile caught her eyes, and everything relaxed again.
"You made it," she practically chirped, smile bright as she stepped forward. "And you look so lovely! Here, I... I was craving something sweet, I thought perhaps we could share these? Do you like macarons?"
Riya was not one to be nervous about new experiences. It was why she succeeded with traveling. Anywhere could become her temporary home. But since coming to Mayfair and struggling to acclimate, she realized her nerves were capable of being tainted in some way. And meeting Charlotte had exemplified her nervousness tenfold, but for the better. She was everything good about the town. Every improved cup of tea or bout of beautiful laughter shaped into the image of Charlotte Debelle.
Her thoughts were loud, hammering against her temple. The announcement of the title revocation had her in a state of unrest, and the uncertainty filled her until she was drowning in her own skin. That was until soft, doe eyes stared back at her as if she was the only woman in the world.
"I told you I would meet you," Riya reminded her playfully, her smile growing as she neared. She glanced down at the box in her hand, dark eyes alight at the sight of the multi-colored macarons. "Of all my traveling, I've never had one."
Shyly, she plucked a soft green macaron from the box and bit into it. The flavor was unfamiliar, but the creamy and chewy texture made her hum in approval. "Oh, this is wonderful. Keep them from me or I will debase the entire collection. What flavor is this?"
-- Some Sleeps Later (Time-Skip) --
That night at the tavern had surely ruined all reason in her mind. Their shared laughter over drinks and butter sauce, swapping stories and parting just before the midnight rush to ensure his rest. But it hadn't stopped there. If she had sense, Ceara would have promptly kept things at a professional distance. She would have told her mother that it was the marquess visiting the school, not just a young man she met during a protest having an interest in their world. If she were as intelligent as the village praised her for, she would not have worn one of her nicest dresses and kept her hair down.
For once, Ceara was thankful she wasn't as predictable as everyone presumed she was. On the day Dominic was set to visit, she let the students know there would be a visitor in class during a lesson break. They were to be kind, respectful, not ask incriminating questions of him. He was an important friend, she'd told them.
"You're nervous," her mother observed, turning away from the children running off their restlessness. She wouldn't deny it. She was nervous. But it was more of an apprehension than true anxiety. Ceara wanted to see him again. Make him laugh, make him flustered, force him to argue with her again. It felt as if she'd finally met an equal, not someone who could be intimidated by her ambitions.
Before she could answer, one of her pupils called out, "Miss Ceara! There's a man coming!"
Sure enough, a figure walked up the moss and stone-riddled path. She didn't have time to consider a deflective or honest answer when the children began circling him, their mutters of curiosity like wind-chimes, bright and high-pitched. Everything she'd requested they not do, they decided to engage in tenfold. Like puppies fighting over a brand new toy.
"He's tall!"
"He's so handsome," one child cooed.
"Someone ask if he wants to play with us," another cried.
"Are you Miss Ceara's friend she talked about? You're much fancier than I thought you would be."
A chorus of questions and innocent curiosity replaced the reccess chaos. But within moments, her and her mother, Saoirse, ushered the children away. "Give him room to breathe," Ceara insisted with a laugh, finally meeting his gaze with a sheepish smile, cheeks pink to match. "I would have greeted you myself but it appears I was too slow."
Dominic didnât know what to expect of a school. From the moment heâd arrived, the children were all overly excited, but he couldnât remember the last time any lords came to a school. To cover, Dominic had been to two a few days ago. He did want to learn about education in the land, especially when more children were leaving education early to help out with their family farms or work. When heâd arrived, Dominic was attacked with questions from a battalion of children, all excited to see him. A genuine look of surprise flashed across his face before it turned into an easy grin. He crouched down to meet the children at their level, laughing as half a dozen voices came at him. âI would love to play with you all, but only after your lessons. Do we have a deal?â He asked in mock seriousness. They all went over to their desks, all trying to whisper and be calm about it. When he rose, Dominic smiled and went over to Mrs Dempsy. âIâve heard brilliant things already about your school, Mrs Dempsey,â he said, his smile never faltering. âYours is the one that has the lowest drop-out rates. Iâm impressed.â Dominicâs respect wasnât an easy thing to gain. Keeping children in education, convincing their parents to do it, wasnât easy.
The lesson began, and Dominic retreated to the back of the classroom to observe. Cearaâs mother brought the childrenâs attention back to her, leaving Dominic time to talk to Ceara. âI feel deceived,â he teased, his hands clasped loosely behind his back with an amused smile tugging at his lips. âWhen you invited me on the tour, I thought it wouldâve been just you and I.â Dominicâs voice was so low, only Ceara could hear him. It was deliberate. The children were too invested in their lessons to pay attention to their guest. Cearaâs mother didnât let her new lord distract her either; Dominic and Ceara might as well have been alone. âI can see why they adore you,â he whispered again. âYou command a room effortlessly, but I didnât imagine having to fight half a dozen children for your attention.â
Watching him with the children brought a warmth to her chest, one entirely unfamiliar but something she didn't bother swallowing down. One wouldn't have known that this was new territory for him. While Ceara was working to keep her bashful smile from showing in the color in her cheeks, Saoirse shot a beaming smile Dominic's way. The words made their impact, and hearing it from someone titled was quite the blessing in disguise. "Thank you, my lord. Stability and work goes a long way when it comes to children's futures," the older woman said, gaze flickering to her daughter with a proud shimmer in her eyes. The silent communication was there: This is all because of you.
Offering him her full attention now that there were no mothers or tiny faces peering back at them, Ceara tried to quiet her laugh with a subtle clearing of her throat. "You do not know my plans, my lord" she teased, as if no time had passed between them since their first excursion. But he was right. She hadn't made that clear, but she had planned on offering him a tour after the children's studies concluded to offer them more leeway with the time. As much as she had tried to quell the flush in her cheeks, it bloomed easily in time with his words. Understanding their work was one thing, but the children seeking safety and trust with her was one of her biggest goals, and he confirmed that she had done it.
"You poor thing," Ceara crooned, feigning a pout in support of his playful woeing. "Would it ease your concerns about my deception if I told you the lesson ends in the next fifteen minutes, and once my mother and the children leave, it will only be the two of us? You'll have every bit of my attention, I promise you." Despite her teasing, knowing he had been set on spending time with her alone brought that peculiar feeling to her heart again, this time traveling towards her stomach. It was warm and sweet now, almost matching his tone when he spoke.
As her smile softened when glancing over at him, she extended her hand his way, wriggling her pinky expectantly. "Come on, you cannot deny me. I will even manage to keep the children from overpowering you."
Ceara almost second-guessed her decision to attend the fair. Damp grass, smoke, and children screaming with glee by nightfall did not sound as enticing as it had before. But Frederic's voice carried in her thoughts, gentle and hesitant as he had been during their interactions. He wanted her to be there, and she would not keep him waiting.
So upon arriving, her eyes flitted the surging crowds and passing individuals for the youngest O'Connor. Spotting him sulking beside a vendor's stall, she approached. He appeared downcast and that gave her pause. What had happened? It had to have been something with Mary, as her other aide was in disarray herself.
"I did not want to miss the caramel apples," she said. Ceara would not admit that she didn't want to disappoint him. It was as vulnerable as a hug. "I'm as well as I can be. Are you well? You appear sullen. Did...something happen?"
Frederic looked at her when she walked up to him. he smiled a little. " Then we should get some. i think i see a stall of them," He said as he pointed out one of the vendors. " He moved to stand next to her.
He frowned when she asked- did he really look sullen? He looked away as if he was looking at stalls rather than facing his feelings.
"Hmm, the last time I went to the fair it was with Mary," he offered. "I don't enjoy these sorta things," He admitted. "And I had a fight with Dominic over Mary again. So, " He shrugs. It's all Dominic and him ever speak about, and he's tired. He's so so so tired." But I don't- I don't want to think about it," He had walked up to the stand, and he picked out two caramel apples. He even paid for them before he handed one over to Ceara
His efforts to lift her spirits were endearing, though she felt a sense of guilt wash over her. He was under no obligation to carry her feelings with her, nor attempt to make it better. This wasn't his darkness to mend, and she wouldn't allow him to wield the needle to do so.
But Ceara smiled and walked alongside him, briefly casting a sideways glance as her words reached him. She mirrored his expression, her brows knit in a displeased frown. Of course they'd gotten into a verbal sparring over Mary. For the first time, Dominic's name was not akin to a sting to her heart. This time, anger for Frederic overshadowed anything else. She cared about him deeply, and knowing how much he was struggling only strengthened the feeling.
"We will not discuss it, then," she agreed, taking the sweet treat by the stick with mumbled gratitude. "And we will get you to enjoy tonight, somehow. I heard there's gold tokens hidden about the fair. Perhaps we could stumble upon them? Or we could discuss how you enjoyed the work I gave you, if you were able to finish it?"
Ceara folded her hands in front of her, listening as she always did when parents had their concerns. Her smile was gentle, understanding as it always was in these situations. "Sometimes, it is helpful to admit that some questions requre answers only she could find out, or others who are more proficient at answering accurately. That continues reinforcing the curiosity without diminishing her abilities."
Despite his apology, she did find herself letting out a soft laugh. "Please, no apologies are needed. I would rather you find humor in all of this rather than lose yourself in the stress, Mister Winchester." She quieted to continue listening to him, nodding her head subtly. Now, this was not something to laugh about. And given he wasn't anymore, she remained as serious as he did. But she could see he was an excellent father. Doting, caring. And he would not have gone to such lengths to hire her if his concern did not come from a true place.
Looking at the whiskey glass, Ceara was reluctant. At the moment, she was working. So, she shook her head and assured, "No, thank you. Whiskey does not bode well with me on an empty stomach. But Isabel is still in her formative years, luckily. Children her age are akin to sponges. If given the opportunity, she can thrive. But I will also admit that children love the opportunity to choose. I know you would like to protect her from London's expectations and performances, but Isabel can only have an opinion on those should she experience them. Either with other children and outings, or with you as her trusted aduly."
She bit the inside of her cheek before she continued. "You did the right thing coming to London when you did. You gave her an opportunity to grow with others and experience more of the world, which is all she needs. But that is not to say she cannot climb trees and scrape knees," Ceara reassured, smiling. "Offering both worlds will be the best for her, but taking one away will only make her more curious about it, especially when it was not previously accessible to her until now."
The glass of whiskey was halfway to his lips before his hand froze midair.
"Especially when it was not previously accessible to her until now."
Her words caused him to pause. He had entirely forgotten about the addition of wealthy families to the marriage mart. Instead of taking a sip, his glass returned to the mantle. There had been an urgent need to feel clear-headed.
"Of course... forgive me... I must sound obnoxiously privileged, and perhaps I am. Of course there are good things that come with being in high society. Despite its expectations, it has its perks." He paused, his hazel eyes searching hers. He found he wanted nothing more than to read her mind and experience what this world looked like through her eyes. Like a tutor who had been inside so many homes. And now, she might even be permitted to marry into such a family.
Enzo had painted many a portrait of wealthy women, of ballrooms and Hyde Park with its promenading debutantes. He had looked at it through the analytical eyes of a painter, and he had looked at it as a hunted man, expected to find love and a proper match in one person alone. Yet he had never looked at it as an outsider.
"How strange it must be, to finally be permitted not only to look behind the curtain, but to step through it. Please, help me see it with your eyes." He stepped forward and nodded toward the armchair across from where he was standing. The invitation hung in the air, and he would understand if she neither had the time nor the desire to accept it. "How do they treat you? The families of the ton? I cannot imagine every titled lord and lady giving you a very warm welcome."
His statement gave her pause. Ceara hadn't meant to sound as if she were discussing the privileges of society, merely the benefits it would have to Isabel. Though, her sharp mind understood the seamless switch and said, "You sound concerned, not privileged. And it is, quite so. I do not live in a world like this, not the way Isabel will, so I take no offense."
She felt his curiosity before she heard it in his request. The way his eyes, nearly matching hers in hue, narrowed in thought as he discarded the decorated glass he nursed. Taking a seat, she placed her hands in her lap and gnawed on her lower lip as she considered her treatment since arriving in Mayfair. "Well, most of my pupil's parents are quite kind. Other families have been rather neutral."
Her thoughts settled on Dominic, Frederic, and Edgar. Three different souls with three different methods of exposing themselves to Mayfair. Duty, silence, and care. It was peculiar, but the other two had treated her well. But Dominic made it clear this world wasn't for her, and it was the first time in a while that she took heed to his words. "I think the families of the Ton are curious of newcomers, which makes them kinder and more open to us. But, no. Not every titled individual has been warm or welcoming."
Ceara wrung her fingers, swallowing thickly. "If I am to be frank, I am not someone who wishes to step through the curtain. I do feel an amount of luck and gratitude being able to work with some of the famillies here. But the concept of titles, ladies, lords and the like, it is all rather daunting. I have no experience in courtly affairs or knowing how to dance the latest steps, and...despite their kindness, I do believe the families here are aware of such things. Is this too personal or...too honest?"
âHm,â Ceara hummed, feigning thought. âHe cannot refuse when there are *ducks* involved. I mean, it is only right to give them a lovely home should they decide to be in your care.â Despite her play at seriousness, her smile was wide and mischievous. And what great care she was sure they would be in, but she left that part out.
The act of Noraâs elated claps brought a gradual smile to Cearaâs face. It was an interesting sight to see, but to know that her new friend was happy by the prospect of platonic companionship encompassed her in a comfortable joy she wasnât used to. It was carefree and gentle, perhaps how sisterhood should have truly been. âI doubt you could be considered a burden. You would not have free access to my home were that truly the case,â she said, a playful scold shrouded in truth.
It did not entirely surprise her that Nora wasnât aware of Frederic personally. Ceara didnât know many people yet, and she had been in Mayfair for a while. âHeâs quite kind once you speak to him,â she said, nibbling at the corner of a piece of cheese from their shared snack tray. âIn fact, I believe he should be going to the fair, you could meet him there. If you are going, that is?â
She secretly hoped so. She would love to accompany a friend to something as grand as a fair, something she never gave herself the opportunity to enjoy.
a laugh falls easily from her lips as she thinks of her father, a man of seriousness and practicality chasing a family of ducks around the gardens of their mayfair home - she is sure he would slip and end up in the pond, weeds and lilypads creating a rather fetching ensemble for the brother to the duke of marlborough.
it was freeing to feel elation, to feel companionship without payment, to have a friend she could call her kindred spirit - ceara reminds her of charlotte, a soul linked to her own through ties unseen but ever present. "my father has always said to check, i do not wish to become a nuisance to someone i would like to become good friends with, ceara - but please do tell me if i do, or if you need your space! i am sure i can pass time with the ducks, should i need to." nuisance. it was engraved on her heart, a term her mother-in-law once deemed her new name within the mayenne estate - you are worthless, a gnat needing to be swatter, little nuisance nora.
"i do hope he is, i wish to get on his good side as i have edgar's," her smile turns bashful. she saw edgar as a brother, a shoulder to lean on should she need it, and whilst she does not expect that from frederic, she does wish to live her life as dominic's wife with some form of amicable relationships of his family. "i should be attending, i am quite fond of carousels, the painted horses are marvelous!"
tapping her fingers against the table, leonora's smile turns bright and she places a hand over ceara's. "we should go, together that is!"
Nuisance.
Ceara thought the word being assigned to Nora was odd, foreign. She was a gentle soul, someone who deserved a time and place to be herself, to just be a woman enjoying the world and not something to be captured, sold off, examined. Who would deem this woman as a nuisance?
"I do not intend you think of you as a nuisance, Nora," she assured, her smile gentle. "You're a friend of mine. Mosquitoes are nuisances, you are a person welcomed into my home, whenever you please. You have my word." Just as with Frederic, a protectiveness flared in her heart. Should anyone speak poorly of Nora, she would meet them with fire and sharp points. This was her friend, a wonderful one, and she would not feel inconvenient here.
The mention of Edgar caused her to brighten. "Edgar is wonderful. Frederic is enduring much. Just be patient with him, and he will warm up to you," Ceara mused. Although, she could not guarantee that Frederic would be kind, as he drew his own path.
When the other woman confirmed she was attending, she perked up. The heaviness that weighed on her heart lightened to that of a feather. Friendship was healing, having a friend to simply enjoy was healing. And the makings of healing soothed her tattered soul. "Yes, I would love to! I've only ridden the painted horses twice back in Ireland. I would love to see about them with you. And perhaps, an apple tart or two. God, I heard the apple tarts here are magnificent, especially at the fair."
âYou do not have to lie about me butchering your language just because you are happy,â she half-teased, her laugh light and airy to keep the tears at from properly spilling. But knowing he felt something meant everything. Did he feel loved by her? It was a constant thought in her mind, even when they were apart. Seeing how moved he was by her gift forced a heavy weight to settle in her heart, though. Genevieve longed for it to be light, but with the looming lie hanging over their heads, the brightness of his joy and vulnerability allowed the guilt to fester into this ugly, unmoving mass. The gift was as much an âI love youâ as it was a goodbye. She feared saying goodbye to him, but she knew what would happen when he discovered who she was. He would deem the entire ordeal void, and she would never see him again. Marry a sweet woman as beautiful as him, continue the OâConnor line with children he would adore. For a split second, the thought weighed on her mind until his touch cut through the doubts and insecurities.
Genevieve had taken her time in fastening the cufflinks, simply because it gave her a reason to continue touching him and be impossibly close. It was as close to kissing him as she would get this evening. Especially with William nearby ensuring there would be no impromptu ravishing. His French made her pause and look up at him through her lashes, her smile bashful. Easily, she replied, âTout le plaisir est pour moi, mon amour.â For that moment, she could have sworn this was heaven and the backdrop acted as his halo. The sounds of the fair bled into nothing but muffled background noise, functioning as the orchestra to whatever this was between them.
The booming voice forced a startled jump out of her, head whipping in that direction before looking back at Edgar. Her expression shifted in silent question before it dawned on her that he might want to participate. âOh, my,â she sighed with a smile, taking his arm again and sidling up to him as they strode towards the commotion. Now louder, a man in a rather cheap suit called out, âStep right up! Participate in our annual tug-of-war with the strongest arms in Mayfair! Prize given to the victors! But what will that prize *be*? A free morsel? A shiny trinket for a lovely someone? Orââ
The manâs thick, unruly brows lifted when his eyes stopped on Genevieve. And his face brightened, an idea sparking. âOr a chance at courting a very beautiful someone! Someone like this!â He shot out his hand as he gestured to Genevieve and Edgarâs coupling.
Her smile faded and she let out a nervous laugh, fingers gripping at Edgarâs sleeve like they had before. But this time, she wanted to damn near disappear into herselfâor himâand pretend they were never here. âI mean, I suppose,â she half-reasoned, looking to Edgar almost helplessly.
But nearby, a group of men spoke quietly between themselves, their eyes fixed on the princess and her fair partner.
Edgar felt it before he understood it; the way her fingers tightened at his sleeve, the small nervous laugh that did not belong to her joy, the sudden wish in her body to become smaller beside him. The man's arm swept toward her as though she were another bauble hanging from a stall. "Here is," the showman boomed, delighted by his own invention, "a chance to win the favour of a very beautiful lady." The crowd laughed. Edgar did not. Something cold and very quiet moved through him. He covered Genevieve's hand with his own, not to hold her back, but to steady her. His other hand had already gone to his coat pocket where a purse of coins sat heavy enough to end this foolishness before it gathered speed. "I think," Edgar said, voice smooth enough to be dangerous, "you will find coin a more suitable prize than- "
"Oh, come now!" one of the men by the rope shouted. "Let the gentleman earn her admiration properly." The stupid prick seemed like he was intent on challenging Edgar. "Aye," another laughed. "If he's so attached to her sleeve, let him pull for it." The showman brightened. "There we are! The lady's favour to the victor!" Edgar looked at the rope, the laughing men, the hungry faces of the crowd. He could refuse, he could shame them, and he could throw the purse at their feet and tell them to purchase manners. But that would only keep their eyes on Genevieve.
Edgar forced a smile. "My lady's favour is not a prize to be handed out by shouting men," he said clearly. "But if the question is whether I am willing to humiliate myself for her amusement- " He looked down at Genevieve, and only then did the smile soften. "That has already been well established." William made a faint noise. "Sir- " Edgar shrugged out of his coat. "Hold this, Will." William accepted it with grave despair. Edgar rolled his sleeves to his forearms, the golden cufflinks flashing briefly in the lanternlight. Her gift. Her thought. Her hands had put them there. For her, then. If he was to make a fool of himself, he would do it properly, for her.
He took his place at the rope among men broader than him, and flushed with drink. The hemp bit into his palms. Mud clung to his boots. Across from him, the opposing team dug in with smug confidence. The showman shouted. The rope snapped taut. For one glorious moment, Edgar held. His shoulders burned, his heels carved into the earth, and somewhere in the roar of the crowd he thought of Genevieve watching him. So he pulled harder. Unfortunately, almost heroic was not the same as victorious. The other team surged. Edgar's boots slid. The line lurched, a man beside him cursed, and the rope tore through his hands. Then he went down. Flat into the fairground muck. The winning side erupted in cheers while Edgar lay still for half a breath, staring up at the smoky lantern-lit sky. Well... that had gone badly.
Genevieve would have paid attention to the men and their insistence, to the way fear licked up her spine despite a favor only being a measly scrap of fabric or a kiss upon one's cheek. But something told her that not all men held favors from a young woman in such a simplistic regard. And they outnumbered her tenfold. Was she obligated to offer her favour to every single one of them?
But all of that faded as her eyes remained fixed on Edgar. The set of his jaw, the subtle fierce glint in his eyes. The hitch in her breath was subtle but not something she could explain away either. Words were beyond them, and a simple shift here or a tug there told both of them what the other wanted to know. My lady, he had said. A warmth bloomed in her stomach and were it not for her anxiety, she would have been smiling. She was his lady for the evening. His chosen person to attend the fair with, and the claiming of such was exhilirating.
"Edgar--"
For once, Genevieve was supportive of William's hesitance, concerned about Edgar's impulses. She reached a hand to try tugging him back, but it was no use. It was not lost on her that his forearms were on display, strong and certain with a dusting of hair. It hardly held a candle to what she saw during her first visit, but she wouldn't be picky about the sight of his comfort. Or, undressing for a battle he planned to fight like hell in.
The next series of events happened as quickly as the decision was made. Her eyes never left him. He was steadfast in his effort, muscles pulled taut beneath his dress shirt. There was a split second where she was sure he would win, but then...
SPLAT!
Genevieve let out a sharp gasp, covering her mouth. Perhaps it appeared more painful than it was, but the embarrassment likely overshadowed any pain settling in his bones. Ignoring the cacophony of the winning sides' glory, she hurried over and leaned over him. "Are you alright? Oh, mon amourâŚ"
She brushed some strands of his hair back. Despite her worries, the movement was tender, careful. As if he were made of porcelain, and she was sharp enough to crack him. Then, she offered the same hand to help him up.
|| closed starter || @edgaroconnor || Edgar
|| LOCATION || St. James Park, grassy area
The walk back home was a quiet one. The crickets chirped, people passing in excitable whispers. But she floated the streets of Mayfair like a ghost, lost in time and heartache to someone who saw right through her. The kiss with Kitty hadnât been a mistake, but it didnât quell her pain either. In fact, it only made her feel worse. Had she been using her? Had Kitty been using her as well, given her fatherâs recent death? And what did this mean for her schoolâs funding? Dominic had rescinded his offer once Mary became involved, and he was of no help now that sheâd done what she had.
Edgar had left the tavern before the hour grew dangerous. That was how he thought of it now. Not late; dangerous. There came a point in the evening when ink stopped being ink and became an excuse to remain seated. When the candle burned low, the air thickened with smoke, and the laughter around him began to sound like an invitation rather than just noise. He had written three pages, crossed out two, and abandoned a fourth halfway through when he realised he had been staring at the same sentence for nearly ten minutes. So he gathered his papers, paid for nothing stronger than tea, and stepped back into the damp London night.
St. James's Park lay between him and home like a dark breath. Wet grass, restless trees, the shimmer of lamplight on puddled paths. Edgar walked with his notebook tucked beneath his arm, his collar turned up, already composing and discarding lines in his head. Then he saw her. At first, she was only a pale shape moving through the grass where no lady ought to be walking alone at such an hour. Barefoot. Hair undone. Dress damp at the hem. Edgar slowed. "Ceara?" The question left him softly, but the sight of her struck hard. Her eyes were swollen from tears, her face blotched with them, her hair clinging in dark tangles where it had escaped every pin.
'TĂĄ ĂĄthas orm tĂş a fheiceĂĄil'. Something in his chest pulled tight. He lowered himself beside her almost at once, not too close, not trapping her in the space between them. His notebook slipped from beneath his arm onto the grass, forgotten. "TĂĄim anseo," he said quietly. 'I'm here'. He did not ask what had happened. Not yet. A question could be a hook, and she looked already caught on too many sharp things. Instead, he shrugged out of his coat and settled it carefully around her shoulders, giving her time to pull away if she wished. When she did not, he drew it a little closer at the front, shielding her from the damp and from the curious eyes of anyone passing along the path. "You're cold," he said, because it was easier than saying you are breaking my heart. He hesitated, not pressing, only offering. "There's a theatre just beyond the park," he added gently, as though the idea had only just occurred to him. "It's warm."
The cold hadn't bit at her the way it normally would. Ceara hardly noticed. In reality, she didn't notice much as of late. Beneath his gentle concerns and attempt to warm her cold skin, she was muttering a lullaby in Irish. Something nonsensical that her mother sang to her and her sister. The words didn't matter, as long they weren't in English. Trembling hands came up to hug the coat closer to her chest, as if the fabric would protect from whatever force was coming at her.
Exhaling a shaky breath, Ceara gave a stilted nod. Warm sounded good. It sounded nice, comforting. But she had wondered if she deserved warmth and goodness. Did she deserve his help? She had been set on ruining his brother's life, after all. The least she could do was avoid him. "Warm," she repeated, voice impercetably soft. She looked at him and stared for a long moment. Not to judge or assess, just take comfort in the familiarity of him. Of how he reminded her of home. Of the creek by her parents' house where she swam most summers. Of the thick leather seat in her father's study where he fell asleep many nights.
Still keeping a firm grip on the coat, Ceara stood on shaky legs to head to the theatre. Grass stains soaked through her nightgown, half aware of the fact that she had even left the cottage in such a state. Thank goodness for Edgar and his thick coat. "You were writing," she said, a statement more than a question. But it left an open air for him to tell her, should he want to. She had much to tell, though silence was preferable in this state.
Hearing the familiar voice made her turn, grinning at the sight of her brother. Since meeting Charlotte, the world was bathed in a glow akin to the opera singer's metaphorical halo. "Brother, I'm glad you're here," Riya chirped, easily falling into step beside him. They both had been occupied as of late, especially with her having been touring more of Mayfair and spending her allotted time with Lottie. She just barely made it home for supper, though she constantly wore a dreamy smile.
However, her lips turned downward as he spoke. Oh, Nalan. Always the businessman, even during times of leisure. Folding her hands in front of her, Riya slowed her steps by a fraction and sighed. "Sir Linton, you say? I mean, I've heard he is kind. Does he like to travel, at least? You know I cannot just remain settled in one place for long."
She knew it was a stretch to ask such a question. Most men here would prefer to travel farthest to the countryside, as requiring a ship concerned funds, a crew, gear, packed goods. Her thoughts trailed back to Charlotte, as they had been of late. She would travel with Riya, travel the entire world if it suited them both.
There was much to be said about the Das family and yet beneath all of the scandals and drama (mostly all down to Nalanâs misdeeds), they were still a family and a united one at that, which is more than could be said for most of the families in London. Nalan Das could see it clear as day, they were all fracturing under the weight of the newcomers taking all they deemed was theirs, thriving in an environment they were not welcome in. âHe has roots in England but it would be a fine match for you, he is need of children and once you provide that, you can travel as much or as little as possible but the point remains, he is a respectable man, from a respectable family and you have caught his eye.â There was no surprise that Nalanâs sisters would catch the eyes of anyone in England, they were both beautiful, rich and accomplished young women that could outshine any of the noble daughters of England and such a fact was reiterated by Nalan whenever he had the chance to do so organically. âI am sure he would like to travel Riya, but is such a thing a staunch requirement? Father intends for us to put our roots down here and I have tried to no avail. Now is your chance to do that, to help the family and carve out something for yourself with Sir Linton.â
Riya considered his words but they meant nothing to her. At least, she wished they meant nothing. She found Nalan's advice to be significant, helpful. He only wanted the best for her. He always had, even when they were children. And she wanted her older brother's help without the doubts creeping in.
"So, I'm to be a brooding mare for this man because I've caught his attention," she said, brows knitting into a deep frown. This was one of the primary issues with having returned to England with the marriage market in mind. They were so traditional, but it was past the turn of the century now. Things shouldn't remain as primitive as they were, and yet...
She sighed, his sentiments both aggravating and wearing her down. She didn't answer his question outright, at first. But that was better than throwing caution to the wind and admitting why she truly did not want to entertain Sir Linton. "Nalan, a marriage is not required to be in one place. Even if I agreed to court Sir Linton, who is to say he would even want that after what's happened? I would be ruined goods in his eyes, despite the money we still possess and his newfound interest in my face."
|| closed starter || @wonderxrings || Vitoria
|| LOCATION || The Bartholomew Fair Grounds
Edgar had yet to arrive. They had agreed to meet in a particular spot, so she traversed the fair grounds in the meantime. Genevieve parted from Charlotte earlier that day, so she strolled along the damp grass while crunching down on sugar-roasted almonds. The gentle breeze cooled her damp skin, and she wore a relaxed smile when she wasn't snacking. A fanfare of joyful noise filled her ears as the fair commenced.
That was until she lightly bumped into someone's side. She stumbled a bit, but kept a firm grip on her bag of goodies. With a slight grumble and a frown, she was about to snap at the person until Vitoria's face came into view. Genevieve's own face smoothed out and her expression softened. There was that strange tugging sensation at her mind again, set on figuring out why Vitoria was so familiar to her.
"Mrs. Bruce, I am so sorry," she said. "I did not intend to meet you in such a nonsensical manner. Did you see there was a fortune teller?"
Riya finally looked up, wary of Junho Lytton's presence before her. He was not intimidating--quite the opposite, truly--but she was unsure if she wanted to see him. Aera was a dear friend, and her brother should be as well. But the eldest Das girl was not in the mood for friendly affairs. She hadn't even gone to the lengths of speaking to Lottie yet out of sheer embarrassment.
"You may sit," she said, voice percetively softer than before. She subtly wiped a tear, not needing her emotions weaponized by anyone who would pass by. The silence between them wasn't tense, but there was no comfort present either. They were strangers, so what harm would silence offer?
But finally, Riya broke it. "I told him his impulses would land us somewhere here. In this pitch black nothingness of confusion and ruin," she began. "I told him, and just as Nalan does, he did not listen. He only heard his own ruminations, and ruined the family."
"I am sorry for it," she said. "For everything dealing with my brother. Truly."
Junho nodded, and he sat down when she gave permisson. He rested his elbow on the bench before he set his chin on the palm of his hand. He got to this point; he wasn't sure. He knew Aera was friends with Riya, but that it was not like he spent too often with the Das family members...his sister was rather brave compared to him.
"Your brother is something else..." he sighed. " I do not understand him. He goes on about me and my place..., but yet he's the one with disgrace to his name. I don't have such things." He then lets his eyes flutter over to her.
"You don't need to say sorry- you aren't him. To be honest, he has ruined his own name, but i don't think the Das name." He promised her. "You can make it better; clearly, just do whatever your brother isn't doing...do not let your brother's foolishness ruin everything for you"
Disappointed was the best way to put her feelings. The Nalan she had known her entire life was full of mischief, but knew when to pause on the notion. Nalan as he was now was unrecognizable to her. He was greedy, self-centered, judgmental. Thinking of her own brother that way, of the first person she looked up to with admiration, forced a painful throb from her chest. He was her only brother, she used to think the world of him. And now that his transgressions had ruined their familyâs name and Kavikaâs chances at a proper suitor, she was unsure what to think of him.
âHeâs lashing out because heâs scared,â Riya said, smoothing her hands along her dress skirt to dry her damp palms and soothe herself. âAnd perhaps envious, though neither of those are an excuse for his behavior. You did not deserve his judgment.â Suddenly, coming to England was one of the worst decisions sheâd made.
His words made her look at him again. It was so strange, like seeing Aera in an entirely new person. She heard that twins were just one soul placed into two people, and she found some truth in that. The Lytton siblings were as wise as they were beautiful, and Riya was grateful to be in their sphere. âYou truly think so? That I can better the family name? People will hardly look our way, whether together or separate. All they see is the ruinous family that pissed all over a title.â
Despite this being their first meeting, Ceara could not help but be pulled towards him. And in some strange twist of fate, she felt just the same. He looked to her as if she had spun gold from all the mistakes he made, though she did not feel she deserved such a look. Even considering how she arrived to London, it was under the guise of a farce, but one she couldnât help but feel proud of, even in her darkest moment.
However, her thoughts escaped as quickly as theyâd come seeing his hand reach towards her. At first, she wondered if she were mistaken. Surely this stranger wasnât bold enough to touch her outright. But alas, his gloved fingers still hovered near. Instinctively, she leaned backwards until even he caught himself.
She was still skeptical, taking him in as he did her. Unfamiliar to her, but so familiar to him, and yet she could not place why on his behalf. But she made no effort to force his leave. In fact, the musk of leather and expensive perfumes that clung to him was a strange comfort. A delight as lovely as it was rare to experience.
His words struck a chord in Ceara. âWe,â she repeated almost imperceptibly. Sheâd never been part of a âweâ in such a regard. âIt is not the gossip writer that plagues my mind so heavily, though her mentioning me did not help, either. But I assure you, the authorities would do no good, even if they could somehow find her.â
Looking down at his hand, she hesitated. Her stomach clenched. Was she making a deal with the devil or her savior? She didnât know, but she extended her hand to shake his gloved one. âCeara Dempsey,â she introduced shyly for once, brows still furrowed from vague unease. Not from his presence exactly, but from the situation itself.
âWhy are you so eager to help me, Niccolo? Weâve only just met and youâve no reason to help me with anything,â Ceara noted with a tilt of her head. With reluctance, she released his hand and placed hers back in her lap. Did he want something from her? There was only so much money she had, and she didnât give out anything else, unless he sought educational services or unsolicited advice.
Who in the nine circles of Hell was Lady Whistledown, and by what rite was one expected to cast her out?
The magistrates had failed to find her, that much was plain; yet surely there must remain some earthly hand capable of reaching where theirs had not. It defied reason that one soul should carry so dreadful a harvest of knowledge. Was she some priest concealed beneath a womanâs skirts, gathering sins beneath the sacred veil of confession only to loose them upon the world? Or a servant drifting from house to house, sweeping hearths whilst collecting the whispered frailties of those foolish enough to mistake silence for solitude? Perhaps he ought to write to His Holiness himself andâ
His thoughts broke apart as her fingers met his. Niccolò returned the gesture almost absently, willing the crease between his brows to disappear before she noticed it. Had he already come too late? The dreams had begun with his vengeance, but perhaps they had never been about revenge alone. Perhaps they had been a summons. Ought he to have sought her sooner, before despair had rooted itself so deeply that she regarded every offered kindness as one more delusion? And how was he to rescue a woman who looked upon him as though madness had already claimed him, when he himself scarcely felt sane? He could not have explained the conviction burning within him had his own salvation depended upon it. Some obscure decree, spoken by no earthly voice, insisted that her soul had wandered too near the precipice, and that his own would know no peace whilst he left it there.
âHm?â The simple question struck him with all the force of a confession demanded. âOh⌠you see, Miss Dempsey, I wish to help you becauseâŚâ
Because I have watched you suffer in dreams more vivid than memory. Because I was taught from infancy that no soul is beyond redemption. Because I believe the heavens have placed your grief in my path to weigh against my own sins.
Every truth sounded more deranged than the last.
ââŚbecause you remind me of my mother.â
The falsehood tasted bitter enough to linger. His poor motherârest her gentle soulâwould surely have crossed herself in Heaven at such shameless use of her memory. She had possessed hair pale as wheat and eyes clear as a summer sky, leaving him little save the bridge of her nose and that troublesome conscience which refused to let him sleep. Miss Dempsey resembled her in nothing. She belonged instead to the old fairytales whispered beside winter hearths, with darkness gathered in her hair and eyes deep enough to hide every sorrow that had ever sought refuge within them.
âI lost her not long ago,â he continued quietly. âForgive me if I seem⌠overzealous. I have found that grief, if left to itself, grows ambitious. It devours every room in the house until one scarcely remembers how the place appeared before mourning entered. I thoughtâŚâ He offered a faint, weary smile. âI thought perhaps that in easing yours, I might persuade my own to loosen its hold upon me.â
It was a lie, yet was every lie born equally sinful? If a physician sweetened bitter medicine with honey, was the cure diminished by the deception? If falsehood became the narrow bridge by which another escaped despair, perhaps Heaven, in all its inscrutable wisdom, might condemn the words whilst pardoning the intention. He could endure the stain upon his own conscience if it meant sparing hers another wound.
His soul, after all, was already burdened enough to carry one more.
âDo not mistake me for an opportunist,â he said gently, lifting his hands as though surrendering before an unseen judge. âI seek nothing from you. No obligation, no repayment. OnlyâŚâ His voice softened until it was scarcely louder than the passing crowd beyond the window. âOnly allow me to stand beside you awhile. Sorrow is a cruel companion when it walks alone.â
He leaned forward, resting his temple lightly against his hand, his gaze never straying from hers.
âWill you permit a poor sinner the privilege of listening?â he asked. âThere are burdens that grow no lighter for being borne in silence. Sometimes all they require is another pair of shoulders, however unworthy, to keep them from crushing the heart entirely.â
This man was an anomaly. Not quite human, but not quite inhuman either. He was an almalgamation of the two. Someone in need of reassurance of a mysterious kind, and while he was off-putting, Ceara was willing to offer him what he needed. She did not consider herself a saving grace, but he looked at her as if she was one of the archangels themselves.
There was nothing else behind that stare. Not lingering lust, underlying manipulations. He wanted to assist her in exchange for nothing, and the concept itself was rare in the cutthroat worrld they found themselves in. But she had more questions than she was willing to accept answers upon his admission. A man had never told her she reminded them of their mother, so her concern only grew tenfold.
As he explained himself, her eyes remained on him. Ceara inhaled subtly, catching the rich scent of sandalwood and tobacco rolling from him in every shift he madee. The peculiar thing about him was that he had a stillness about him that bordered ghostly. If they weren't in the bookstore, she would be convinced he was an apparition coming to haunt her after many sleepless nights.
"You want to do good with your grief instead of seeking destruction," she realized, putting it mildly. It was an admirable task to set upon oneself, but one that came with its own grievances. If he set himself out to ease her stressors, who would relieve him of his own? Why extend such an offer without something in exchange for it? It was harmful, in a sense. But she did not know this man, the way his mind unraveled knotted thoughts.
Ceara fell into a silence with him, his question hanging in the air. This man, in all of his glory, wanted to help her. She would gather for his own ambitions, but there were no ambitions behind this plan, aside from raising her spirits, easing her demons.
She reached out and reluctantly brought one of his hands into both of hers. Her fingers brushed along the leather covering it, letting his words seep into her before she spoke, coming up with an idea. If salvation was what he sought, salvation is what she would offer to the poor sinner of a man. He was at her beck and call, and she wanted to help him as much as he was eager to help her.
"Do you swim, Niccolo?"