Sitting on the living room couch— stained, crusted, and filthy from use
I look at you and I'm content
The tv plays one of our shows
Life isn't perfect but you feel like home
We laugh together— we sit in silence
You show me how to cook, how to clean
Always there for me— I love you so much
He yells at you, your feelings not acknowledged
I hate to see you shake with rage and sadness
You never stand up for yourself— should I?
Your body gets weaker, your mind seems to wither
Whispers of how long echo in my room after dark
I can't look—ignorance is my haven
You hug me and you smell of death
Your hands which once revered me with love now felt like paper as they brushed against my arm
I watch you scream to no one—to anyone
Not of you but of the way I feel
The deep pit of despair that opens in my chest threatens to consume me
I never tell you how my travels went
I never show you the pictures that I promised
I don't think you remember asking anyway
You look at me and your eyes fix on the wall
I swallow as my throat constricts and my eyes water
I look at a stranger and you do too
Another confused scream—I turn my back and cry
Face made up to look asleep—peacefull at last
I sob and pray to deaf ears
I wish I had told you how much I loved you
I hoped that you could hear me
I wake in the night, shaking and teary
The ghost of your image haunts my dreams
I wish I had told you how much I loved you—
I beg for your forgiveness
I fall to my knees and whisper my apologies