Satan's Wifey

Leelah, 17, transgender queen of hell

[lazerprincesses]

Leelah, I miss you and I did not know you. It has been 11 years since I learned you existed and then did not exist. I wish you could have seen how many people mourned you. If you had known the impact, maybe things would be different. I think about the adult you might have become. A girl in another town, another city, maybe another state. Working and going out with friends and loving and living. Things which were taken from you and from all who would have loved you. Things stolen by conversion therapy, and by every decision everyone made to further isolate you from reality.

-

[lazerprincesses]

I wanted to leave a note for Leelah. I know this is a tribute blog.

Leelah, I’m so sorry you had to be born into a world that didn’t what you. I strive every day to continue bettering the world for us, so none of us go through what you did. I’m so sorry. I’m doing it for you, me, and every other trans person. We deserve to be treated better. We deserve better.

~Alex

-

[lazerprincesses]

I recently nearly lost my baby sister, too scared to come out to the rest of our family. I had just come out when Leelah died, she had such a profound impact on me and I fought so hard to try and make my guardians understand- because I walked that razors edge too so many times and they refused to let me transition. When my baby sister got home from the hospital, she did finally come out. And her guardians handled it better than they handled mine. She gets to start estrogen while living at home when I was told I'd be kicked out if I started T. I think despite everything, the world is getting better. I think we are making the world a better place, just like Leelah asked.

I wish I could tell her, Leelah your courage to exist, even how brief it was, gave me the courage to keep existing, which gave my baby sister the courage to keep existing. There are people who are alive today that never met her, probably never heard of her, but because of her get to have the support to be their authentic selves. My baby sister was 7 or 8 when Leelah died. But because I wanted to live to bring in that better world she asked for, she got to grow up with an example of a trans person living despite everything, coming into the world with joy and light. And now she gets to do that.

I wish I could tell her thank you for the bright light she was.

-

[lazerprincesses]

i know this blog is just a tribute to leelah, but i wanted to send her a message regardless.

i think about you every day, leelah. i never knew you, but i remember you every time being trans gets hard. im 24 now, and you should be 27. you deserved to grow up. when i was 14 you made me realize that i deserved to grow up too. i love you, leelah, and im sorry the world failed you. im sorry youll never see it get to see a better world. you made me hope i get to one day.

ps your parents should be put down like fucking dogs for how you were treated. fullblown old yellered out back for real.

-

[lazerprincesses]

We miss you Leelah.

-

[lazerprincesses]

i am sorry for the loss of an amazing person and you are doing an amazing job of maintaining their legacy.

-

[lazerprincesses]

Hey same anon here. I did a little digging and found her suicide note.

To clear up my earlier question; who *was* she? She seemed special to a handful of people and I'm curious what she meant to you (if you're comfortable sharing, I can give you my DM if you want) and just...what was this person?

So, she was special to me. I never knew her in life, but when Leelah died, I was.. 15, and on the internet a lot. I spent a lot of my time escaping real life, because I was butting heads with my own parents over gender/sexuality. I had a lot of negative internal thoughts that I couldn't turn into productive external actions. Felt like there was no path for me.

When Leelah's note gained national attention, I just sort of broke down about it. It was everywhere on this site. All of my mutuals were reblogging all of the posts about it. A few years earlier, I had a friend pass away in a similar way, by choice, because they felt unloved too. I couldn't tell anyone because it was an internet friend, who I didn't even know the name of, who I knew almost nothing about. I was 12 and didn't think to ask. I ask, now.

Leelah opened a dialogue path for me, and she died to do it. I really do spend a lot of time on the what ifs. What if she just had one advocate. What if my friend did. Maybe we'd have two more people in the world. Maybe we could see Leelah grow up into a beautiful adult.

I remember there was a lot of chatter about Tumblr potentially taking down her blog (lazerprincess), so I felt like saving it for myself. I know a few people did similar.

I wanted to save her art, and her shitposts, and her clear/visible cries for help, and her personality. What of it that I could, anyway.

[lazerprincesses]

Just found this blog, and I want to just leave my own little note to a girl I'll never meet. You'd be happy to see how far we've come, I think. I'll leave my words on this digital shrine to ye

I hope you're at peace Leelah

I really do

-

[lazerprincesses]

Who was this person?

You sent me two asks and I'm getting to them! It's taking a minute to articulate an answer.

[lazerprincesses]

If I could ask, who runs this blog now?

My name is sunny! I'd link you one of my more active blogs, but I don't think it'd be cool to promote my own stuff on here. Also; I'm not very active anyways.

[lazerprincesses]

This blog makes me so happy

-

[lazerprincesses]

Thank you for helping to keep Leelah's legacy alive. I managed to leave a comment on her blog after she passed, and so wished i could have gotten to know her before it was too late. Even in the tragedy of her leaving us, I'm so glad she's been able to reach so many of us. i really hope we can help make the world that she would have loved to live in, We love you Leelah. Sorry we couldnt let you know sooner. And i love you too, admin, t ho i do not know you. i wish you all the best.

-

[lazerprincesses]

Leelah was so beautiful and I know if she were here today we could've been friends, she seemed so lovely. Reading all about her and her story breaks my heart into pieces each time. I hope she rests easy ❤️💖

-

[lazerprincesses]

To the mod of this blog: Thank you for keeping her memory alive. And to Leelah, I'm sorry. I never knew you, never knew your blog, never knew your struggle. But even so, I wish nothing but peace for you. Regardless of if you believe it or not, there are people who truly love and care for you. Every now and then I think about you, and all I want to do is make sure your name is never forgotten. Rest in peace now, and thank you for being you.

-

[lazerprincesses]

Leelah, it's been 4 years, but you're not forgotten. i hope if there's a world after this one i get to meet you there someday. thank you for being a powerful force for good, and im sorry that your life was cut so short. rest in peace <3

-

[lazerprincesses]

I miss you so much. It’s unbelievable. I wish I got to know you. It’s been such a long 3-4 years without you. I really hope you’re doing better now, wherever you are. You’ve inspired me to keep moving on when my dysphoria gets tough on me.

-

[lazerprincesses]

This morning my best friend and I were talking about Leelah and were started crying. She didn’t deserve any of the bullshit she had to deal with. Every time I read her suicide note I cry because it hits so hard to home. Having a best friend who’s a transwomen is sometimes terrifying and because of that I will never stop advocating for trans rights. I will always remember you Leelah. I will never forget. I will fight until your last wish is fulfilled. Rest in power beautiful.

-