Let's Chat About It

A podcast about all things #mentalhealth 🧠 you can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Google Podcasts! Support us here: here

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another re-do of an old post! There are so many different types of self care, feel free to listen episode 1.E1 for a refresher 😌 different things work for different people so it’s important to identify the activities that are most effective for your personal wellbeing. Some activities can cover multiple types of self care at the same time, for example, going for a walk for friend. Given the public health measures that may be in place in your region, self-care might a look a lot different during the pandemic. To address this, all new episodes recorded from this point will be asking my guests what they have been doing during quarantine szn. Self-care might also look different given the recent momentum towards antiracism. I’ve had to be very firm with myself in limiting social media use. Or allow myself to take a moment to grieve the countless amount of people who have been harmed or killed by overt and systemic racism. How have you been practicing self care during this time? Let’s chat about it! https://www.instagram.com/p/CBhLk4-DP0r/?igshid=439jkjwb0tjn

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in the process of re-doing some older posts and thought this was especially relevant! With everything that’s been going on and who knows what else is waiting for us in 2020, I hope you’re able to take time to do something that will fill your cup. Even if it’s just taking five minutes to chat with a loved one or do some deep breathing, it is important to do something purely for yourself. This is really advice for myself... I’m learning too. I’m trying to take care of myself more, after all we only have this one life. https://www.instagram.com/p/CBWZCjnD2E_/?igshid=1l22b2c7vwnbl

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there aren’t any visuals of myself on this page so if you missed a couple episodes it might not be clear that I am a black woman. I’ve been dealing with racism before I even understood what it was. It’s been a complicated journey that we will get into later because right now I want to draw your attention to the cases/protests occurring in the US. Please do what you can to support them— whether that’s in person or from a distance with donating, signing petitions, and spreading education/information. I’m not going to expand too much on this because full disclosure, I’m very upset right now. For my own sanity, I have to limit how much I engage with these current events. At the very least, I would like to say it’s not enough to say you’re not racist but you must actively be antiracist. To say nothing, to DO nothing, at this point in time is to be complicit. The silence and lack of action from the white and nonblack people I thought I could consider a friend has been incredibly disappointing. It’s definitely caused me to reevaluate things. If you are unsure where to begin, google can get you on the right track. There are plenty of resources out there unpacking racism and how to be antiracist. Education on the origins of the police and alternatives to calling them are available; the cops might be a comfort to you but they can be a very real threat to visible minorities specifically black and indigenous folks. Call out your racist family members, your racist friends, and racist strangers. Being antiracist is showing up for black people always, and not only when they’re watching. Show up every time and not just when it’s trending. Keep in mind this is something we cannot turn off and we live with it every day. Being black is wonderful. The implications of it? Not so much. Do the work and don’t ask your black friends, we’re tired. Again, google is your best friend if you’re uncertain. For my black folks, do what you need to do for your mental health. Take it easy. Step away from the news. And no matter how they treat us, we matter. Always https://www.instagram.com/p/CA1QtjdDiF2/?igshid=1i6efegmy2gzq

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As a follow up to my last post, I just wanted to emphasize sleep, although very important, is not the only form of rest! Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith (@drdaltonsmith) emphasizes the importance of filling the deficit in these different areas. I’m definitely planning on getting creative rest myself by reading her book, Sacred Rest by Dalton-Smith 😂 (not a sponsored post I promise, came across this while trying to improve my sleep hygiene). Can you identify some areas you may be lacking in rest? What are some ways you can rest up in each? Let’s chat about it! https://www.instagram.com/p/CAJPItsjTsJ/?igshid=1voaabz9lve2m

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idk who needs to hear this but this is the sign you may have been looking for 😩 REST! This is something I personally struggle with but it really is ok to rest. When I have a million and one things to do, sleep is often the first to go as it feels like there isn’t simply enough hours in the day. However, pushing myself way past my limits always ends up being a bad idea. Listen to your body. Time spent resting =/= time wasted. https://www.instagram.com/p/CAEHfHvjqoj/?igshid=19zjh1nr7gmm8

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this thread on twitter by @sahajkohli is lovely and filled with wise words I think everyone should hear at least once! It really be like that sometimes 🌻 https://www.instagram.com/p/B_dPa-egVXg/?igshid=7xq6fnbzlm7x

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how are we doing folks? the longer we remain in quarantine szn, the more of a drain it is mentally on myself personally. However, it is so so so necessary in order to help save the lives of others! Take this time to practice reframing — while we can’t change our circumstances, we can change how we view them! It’s okay (and important) to acknowledge the negative impacts of this pandemic. It’s also important to keep in mind the things you are grateful for and different ways to shift your perspective. Can you use this time to learn different ways to connect with your loved ones? To hone a new skill? To simply REST? Everything is connected — our thoughts drive our emotions which drive our behaviour which drives our thoughts and so on and so forth. Give room and acceptance for the emotions and thoughts that may come your way. Be cognizant however, of which thoughts you’re focusing on, and allowing to take hold and develop in that lovely brain do yours 💫 https://www.instagram.com/p/B_QmX7NJujD/?igshid=1kpczmmgfx9nm

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Although I’ve definitely gotten better facing my fear of failure over the years, there’s still a small part of me that wants to avoid failure at all costs. Pre-covid-19, I was lowkey stressed out because I was really unsure as to what next step I should take as I was finishing up my degree. I told my supervisor that I had no idea what to do and he was confused, he told me I knew exactly what I needed to do. I realized at that moment that it wasn’t that I didn’t know what to do, it was that I knew what to do and I was SCARED it wouldn’t work out. It’s not that I don’t know what to do but it’s that I don’t know what to do to ensure that I succeed which frankly, is not very realistic. All I can ask myself is to try my very best and if it works, great! And if doesn’t work, what have I learned? What knowledge have I gained? And when you frame it like this, is it really “failure” then? It’s success in a different way, since you have gained more knowledge than you previously held. Now to repeat this a million times till it sticks in this brain of mine 😂 hope everyone is doing ok in these rough times 💕 please remember just making it through the day is enough. You are enough. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-24M0iJJR5/?igshid=qkns4ohj1yfi

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Link in bio for new episode! —— Some thoughts: I’ve been trying to put a word to how I’m feeling, on top of the ever growing anxiety and sinking into a depressive mood. I think the word is grief. I’m pretty sensitive to the emotions of others, and it’s very easy to feel as if I’m right there with them. So I’m grieving for those who lost their loved ones due to this virus, for the frontline workers who risk their lives every day to help others, for those who are dealing with financial insecurity because of covid-19. I’m also grieving for the loss of the normalcy we had and immediate future we might have imagined. Most individuals, including myself, have had their daily lives and plans completely disrupted. It’s hard dealing with those feelings while recognizing that it is necessary to do these things in order to combat the spread of covid-19. I recorded this episode on March 20th. Since then, there’s been a jump from 195 cases to 542 in my province. Canada has almost 5000 cases and 59 who have died due to the virus. It’s not a wild death rate compared to what we’re seeing in Italy or even US, but it’s still lots of individuals to think of. Lots of new rules are being implemented to encourage social distancing. It’s very strange to see such empty shelves in the grocery stores. My own mental health has taken a downturn. Dealing with the usual, on top of the helplessness and anxiety I’m feeling due to these circumstances, is overwhelming at times. The reality of the situation, and the fact that this is going to be our new normal for at least few months hits harder and harder every day. I take deep breaths and focus on what I can do today, even if that means nothing. I remind myself that just by staying home, I’m already doing my part. I am beyond grateful to all the frontline workers, y’all are keeping the world turning, and we can’t thank you enough really. These are tough times and I wish all of you the best. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Sn6PBJZxP/?igshid=1rsn45sho0u0p

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"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers—so many caring people in this world." - Mr. Rogers 💗 These are scary times folks. And it’s been super disheartening to see how selfish some people are reacting in response to the situation, whether it be through stockpiling items, not practicing social distancing, capitalizing on the pandemic, or what have you. A coworker reminded me of this quote and it’s something that I’ve been trying to keep in my heart. I’m thankful for all of the frontline staff who are working tirelessly to help individuals who are sick. I’m thankful for all those who are keeping us intact: the employees at grocery stores, the custodial staff, individuals providing their art for free. I’m thankful for those who are maintaining social distancing and doing their part in flattening the curve. I’m thankful for those who are looking out for their neighbours or strangers by providing them items they otherwise would not have access to. I see you helpers, and I commend you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. If we all look out for each other, then maybe we can see this through. Sending lots of love as we navigate this situation! 💗 https://www.instagram.com/p/B-DVxe1pmPq/?igshid=se8aek4s1hqi

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it’s funny, avoiding the things that makes us anxious can help us feel better in the moment but then, it only makes our anxiety towards what we avoided worse in the future. My challenge to you all is to embrace the situations that make you anxious. Take small steps to grow in comfort. Ask yourself — what is it about the situation that is triggering those warning bells? Is it based in unfounded belief? Is it something that can be mitigated? Our feelings are valid but they’re not necessarily facts. Wishing y’all a lovely week 💖 https://www.instagram.com/p/B9NjBW-pIVR/?igshid=1ez736lnb29cg

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chatting with a pal and it hit me that maybe someone else could benefit from seeing these tips as well 🤔 it’s hard enough to navigate this universe without being so self-critical. These are some things I’ve been working on in order to practice #selfcompassion and trust myself a bit more. I’m really trying to build a healthy relationship with myself, it’s key to living the kind of life I want to lead. A bit of a disjointed caption but I leave you with this conversation with a therapist I used to have, therapist: do you love yourself? me: hmm... you know what, I do. I really like who I am. therapist: do you show yourself that you love yourself? me: .... 🤯 it’s one thing to talk the talk, but you gotta walk the walk as well! https://www.instagram.com/p/B9DEbujJ9zu/?igshid=a4id0hzpzq0o

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I love this quote 💕 hope your day is filled with lots of love for yourself and for others #valentines https://www.instagram.com/p/B8kjumOJpZA/?igshid=1buqtmhcfn6ac

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which form do you tend to do? 🤔 https://www.instagram.com/p/B8STQ7Jp5-I/?igshid=1u0ht2vmq74n3

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the gag is I was definitely procrastinating an important task by releasing our most recent episode 😥 I’m trying really hard to focus on getting it done this week (this is my break and reward for working hard). I’m trying to do a minimum of two hours of work every day and it takes a lot of self-discipline to see it through. Reasons why I’m procrastinating this task: I feel incredibly dumb and lost when I work on it. Reading all these academic papers is making my brain hurt and I’m struggling hard to put the words together. I also feel a little overwhelmed because I have deadlines to meet while balancing everything that is going on in my life, externally and internally. And sure I can extend the deadline, but I can’t even begin to express how much I want to be done with it all. It’s much easier to focus on my attention on different tasks and complete those. That why I’m still accomplishing something but without feeling like I’ve been run over by an 18-wheeler. I’m going to take a walk, drink some water, stretch, and get back to it. Here’s another post for the void 😂 https://www.instagram.com/p/B8NEUJMpBQ_/?igshid=6ohsp89r9sbt

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woooo she’s back with the first episode of 2020, spotify link in bio! Using SMART to make goals is a great technique but it’s definitely not the only way... how do you like to set goals? Let’s chat about it :) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8CrvK9p7mm/?igshid=1v6kpd20z8bsj

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came across this quote and it resounded deeply with me regarding my last relationship. This will be more of a diary entry, than anything informative or inspirational. My previous relationship was at its best, unhealthy, and at its worst, very toxic. While I was definitely over it before it ended, I found the healing process has taken a lot longer than I had anticipated. Primarily because I was unintentionally holding onto the hurt. There were lots of questions I had in the aftermath, questions about the relationship and myself. I thought analyzing these things was healthy. It’s hard to come to terms with someone who says they love you, but then treat you like they hate you. Was it accidental? Was it on purpose? Am I being too sensitive? Am I being too critical? It’s hard because you always hear that relationships are work, was I giving up too quickly? It’s hard because no one is perfect. I have my own flaws, I’ve also made mistakes, aren’t I just as bad? Am I just shifting the blame? It was hard to come to terms with the fact that I had put myself in that situation and I had stayed there. Regardless of why it happened and the reasoning/motivation of their actions (maybe they’re really manipulative, or maybe we’re just two incredibly different people), the way I was treated was unacceptable and it was really hard to forgive myself for putting up with it. I know my worth and I know that at minimum, I deserve better. I analyzed and ran through their actions over and over again. Was I justified in being hurt? How did we get to this point in the first place? I was very annoyed with myself for ruminating over something that I would never have the answer to and allowing them to still have control over my life. I think there was a sort of familiarity in the hurt, an odd sense of comfort in analyzing it to pieces. But it meant I was just hurting myself over and over again. I had to really focus on forgiving myself and trusting myself again. I accepted that this healing process will take however long it takes and that’s perfectly fine. Although I can’t stop myself when memories or thoughts related to it comes up, I can accept them and let it go. (1/2) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7-JsMrpqxG/?igshid=a2j0w46wwa8x