solitary

-- throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.’ var sc_project=11060548; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="f1caac84"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[lcnewolfs]

dxgstarblack:

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m jealous.” Sirius said, reaching out and tugging slightly on Remus’ sweater, leaning forward as though he was giving it a closer look. “Jealous that Walburga never let me look like Father Christmas on his day off.” There was a strange sense of truth behind his words, though he never let himself linger too much on his family. Especially not while he was out celebrating and drinking with his friends. 

Sirius lifted an eyebrow at Remus’ words and a part of him wanted to chastise him for his obvious lack of confidence. It had always baffled Sirius that Remus seemed to think it so impossible for someone to be interested in him like that. His friend was smart, warm, not bad looking at all at that, too – then again, he couldn’t exactly blame him. The Marauders never saw lycanthropy as anything more than an inconvenience, but that wasn’t always the case with, well, everybody else. The thought left him with an uncomfortable lump in his throat and Sirius washed it down with a big gulp of his beer, choosing to focus on something a little simpler instead. “Good luck to her, then,” He snorted, “if she has a brother, she can let me know.” 

His eyes scanned Remus’ face for a moment before he managed a small smile at the thought of James. “I never thought Prongs would be the first one of us to get married off. Always figured it’d be…Peter, or you, even.” He said, eyes dropping to the top of his pint glass. “Things are changing. Soon enough, James’ll get hitched, they’ll be off doing old couple things, have a kid or three. I guess it makes sense for them, though. I still don’t have any clue what the hell I’m going to be doing.” 

Remus frowned, before starting to laugh. He fiddled with the oversized sleeves of his jumper, cuffing them once before shrugging. They were just a thing for him, most of them having been knit by his mother as he grew up, gifts that came from the heart but that they were able to afford. “Well, I’ll remember that for when I find you wearing one of my sweaters,” he replied, before poking Sirius in the side. His smile tightened slightly at the mention of Sirius’ family, not wanting his friend to down that lane of thinking - as he also didn’t want to spend his anger on them. “Hey, not all of us can pull off leather jackets and look so good doing it. I’ve got to figure out something I look acceptable in.”

Remus took a long sip from his drink, not dwelling too much on the girl across the bar, for he was more invested in spending time with Sirius. As he was normally. There were few others - if anyone - that Remus enjoyed spending time with as much as Sirius. He grinned and started to take a look around the pub, before turned back to Sirius, lifting his eyebrows. “Never mind her brother, I’m sure one of the lads in this pub would be more than interested in you. You should go and chat with some of them, I’ll even talk you up. Let them know all about you.”

He almost choked on the next swig of beer he’d taken, a laugh getting caught in his throat, as he looked at Sirius incredulously. “Me, married? Clearly you’ve had one too many to drink, Pads,” he teased, making a move like he was going to take both of the drinks. Marriage was never something that was in his thoughts - relationships meant trust, and that was the biggest thing in the way right there. “I’m glad James is happy, that dumb lovestruck fool. ‘Bout time it finally happened.” He looked at Sirius, before shrugging. “D’you really need to have your whole life planned out, though? Sounds boring.” 

[lcnewolfs]

dxgstarblack:

“And that’s why you should never offer drinks to James Potter. The man never backs down from a challenge.” Sirius’s eyes crinkled into a smile, leaning back against his friend with a small, content sigh. The past few months had been full of changes - their graduation, finding a flat in London and moving into it with someone he considered his brother, his right-hand man, and the uncertain realities of the future hitting them all at once. But tonight, they celebrated. Celebrated as Sirius stared at James and Lily in amazement, and he told Remus just as well. “Our kids grow up so fast, don’t they? It feels like just yesterday when Lily was threatening James that she’d cut his unmentionables off if he ever touched her hair again.” He said as he pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. 

HIs brows raised when he heard Remus thank him again, though, and Sirius was quick to wave it off, pulling out a galleon and ordering themselves another couple pints of beer. “Hey, come on. Don’t be like that. I wouldn’t have asked you to move in if I didn’t want a flatmate.” Leave it to Remus to thank him for giving him company, he thought as he turned slightly to face Remus, leaving the warmth the arm around him had momentarily provided. 

“Er, Moons, I’m sure you haven’t noticed but that tall blonde back there’s eying you pretty hard.” Sirius mused, looking over Remus’ shoulder, “Would you look at that. I guess some girls are into old man sweaters, after all.” 

Remus glanced up and over to where Sirius was looking at, meeting eyes with the blonde in question. There was a moment in which he was surprised, because the thought of a girl actually being interested in him instead of James or Sirius seemed to come few and far between. He felt himself go pink in the cheeks for a moment, before sending a smile over to her, before looking back at the Sirius. “Don’t hate on the sweaters,” he argued back, holding up his arm and looking at the worn cable knit over him. “You’re just jealous you can’t pull it off,” he teased, before nodding his head in the direction of the girl. 

“Besides, I’m sure she’s more interested in you in the first place. Like every other person we’ve ever met before” he pointed out, nudging Sirius with his elbow before reacing for his own drink. “I’m clearly just the more approachable one, the one who could make things less uncomfortable for a situation like this.” He clinked his drink against Sirius’s, before taking a drink of it. He didn’t really know what the girl’s story was, but it was easier to just write it off like all the others before. And in any case, he was here to spend time with Sirius. 

He turned slightly, leaning against the bar and facing Sirius full on now. “D’you ever start thinking of like - how far we’ve all come? From when we met, how we managed to get here?” he asked absently. “I mean, if it was five years ago and you were to tell me that those two,” he added, pointing a finger in the direction of Lily and James, “were gonna get married any day now, I wouln’t have ever believed it.”

[lcnewolfs]

“I think we ought to toast or something. A cheers to our first flat, you know. Bring in the good luck,” he called out, clapping Sirius on the shoulder and pulling him in closer to his body as the two of them stood at the counter of the pub. For what felt like the first time in a long time, if not forever, they actually had the freedom to do whatever they wanted to do - and now that they were on their own, the possibilities were endless. Giving Sirius a grin, he nodded his head in the direction of James, too busy mooning and making heart eyes over Lily to even notice, before leaning in to Sirius and lowering his voice. “And besides, if Prongs says he’s paying, we better go full force. My wallet has yet to recover from the last time I offered that to him,” he said with a laugh, before trying to flag down the barkeep.

Post graduation plans were always a little bit messy, especially when you didn’t have a set path like Remus. His goal was just to survive and keep his head down - but things just seemed to fall into the place, and before he knew it, the conversation had come up of him and Sirius moving into a flat together. “Thanks, by the way,” he said, for what was probably the dozenth time. “For letting me move in with you. I know it’s probably not the most ideal, but I’ll try to stay out of your way. And if it ever gets too much, let me know and I’ll make myself scarce.”

[ @dxgstarblack ] 

[dailyreeceking]

[lcnewolfs]

dailyreeceking:

x

[mermaidyke]

please god, be kind to me. this skin is tainted by wasted days, this youth is stolen by aching bones. please god, i am too young to have these scars.

please god, l.g. (via gayenjolres)

[dxgstarblack-blog]

“Okay, Doctor Nurse.” Sirius slurred, drunken laughter spilling out from his lips because he knew in all technicality that what he’d just said didn’t quite make sense but he wasn’t there enough to actually understand what was going on. Just that he liked this stranger, and that he liked his hands on him even more. “No, I’m totally fine, mate. I can count to Z if you want me to. Don’t send me to the police please.” He mumbled, as he weakly followed the curly-haired nurse’s direction towards the chairs, only slightly aware of the hand on his back. So he sat, and he leaned back, before he saw water in front his eyes and gulped it down within seconds, ending with a satisfied ‘ahhhh.’ 

Fingers on his wrist. Sirius couldn’t remember the last time someone had taken care of him like this - between him and the boys, they didn’t do much mothering for each other. If they were drunk, the best they ever did was throw the one that’d passed out onto the bed, sideways so he wouldn’t puke himself to death. He blinked his eyes when he heard his voice again, and put on his best smile (best he could do in his state, anyway). “I don’t wanna do either of those things. How about you take me home? You’ve got a car here, right? Or d’you like your place better? I bet I’d like it. Hey,” He said suddenly, reaching out and gently grasping onto the nurse’s arm. “You know my name but I don’t know yours. That doesn’t seem very fair.”

[lcnewolfs]

Remus did his best to keep himself from starting to laugh at the next words that came out of Harrison’s mouth, slightly aware that the annoyance that had been overflowing from the other’s mouth had somewhere taken a turn to amusement - albeit still annoying. “I’m sure the police would’ve been here by now if they were looking for you,” he replied quietly. “You don’t seem like the type to go out for a quiet night on the town, after all.” After reassuring himself that his vitals were normal, Remus sat there for a moment. It wasn’t every shift that he got the chance to be able to have a conversation with people - let alone someone who seemed intent on paying him more attention than he remember getting in the past year. Alcohol clearly could do magic in some cases. 

He raised his eyebrows at the response, before letting out a loud laugh. Maybe it was the late hour, but Remus couldn’t remember for the life of him the last time he’d actually had someone over to his flat - for some reasons more than others. And how ironic was it that the one person who seemed the most interested to do so was a drunken stranger.  “You always invite yourself over to random people’s flats? That your angle?” he asked, before shaking his head. “I don’t get off the clock for another few hours. I think you’d like some sleep and ibuprofen better than that,” he answered, before looking down at the hand that was clumsily grabbing at his arm. “Life’s not fair,” he pointed out teasingly, before starting to laugh as he got to his feet. “It’s Remus. D’you need me to call someone for you and your friend, or no?”

[lcnewolfs]

tilden;text: i've been attacked by a floating yoda AND a guy playing the bagpipes badly and it's not even noon.

remus;text: what kind of goods have you been smoking, mate?

[aigul-wolf]

[dxgstarblack-blog]

He belatedly realized how much he’d been focusing on those wildly attractive glasses until they were gone, though he did appreciate finally being able to see those eyes, even if the man seemed rather unpleased with the whole situation. Sirius gave him a confused look, eyes narrowing and mouth slightly agape, before turning his head to glance at Phil for a second with a laugh. “Probably. I’ll make sure he doesn’t throw up on your pretty face and your…scrubs. But shouldn’t you give us IVs or something to make us sober up? I swear I saw something like that on the telly. I gotta drive him back on my motorcycle and I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be driving right now and – ” He rambled, until he felt Phil suddenly pushing himself off of his shoulders and running towards the bathroom. 

“Oop, there he goes.” With a shrug, Sirius turned back towards his company with a grin still plastered onto his face, finally pocketing his ID. “Guess it’s just you and me now, doc. And I haven’t even gotten your name.” He hummed as he stuck his hand out, unaware of the fact that he was still somewhat swaying side to side, barely finding enough balance to keep his hand out at all. “It’s nice to meet you. When d’you get off? I think I’d like to get to know you a little bit better. Drinks?” 

[lcnewolfs]

Remus blinked as he continued to listen to the wild conversation fall out of the stranger’s mouth, unsure if this was actually his job right now. Last time he checked, he was a nurse, not in charge of taking care of drunken vagrants. “It’s nurse,” he corrected, knowing that it wouldn’t matter, considering that even if this person - Harrison, he reminded himself - did remember this through the drunken haze, this would thankfully be their last interaction. Noticing the sway and preferring that he wouldn’t have to take care of a head injury or broken bone, Remus exhaled before reaching forward and steadying him. As annoyingly persistent as Harrison might’ve been, Remus was still the nurse. He braced his hands against his forearms, before looking at him. “You’re not gonna pass out on me or anything, right?” 

He motioned to one of the chairs in the waiting area, before resting a hand against the small of Harrison’s back and started leading him over to it, the other still wrapped around the crook of his elbow. “Here. Sit,” he ordered as he pushed him down into the chair, not saying anything else as he walked away back to the water cooler, filling one of the paper cones. “Drink that,” he said shortly, taking the seat next to him and reaching for his arm, two fingers resting against Harrison’s wrist as he took his pulse - checking his vitals. "I think you’ve had enough to drink for the night, Mr. White. I’m assuming that you’re intelligent enough to not drive while intoxicated, so do you plan on calling a cab, or would you like to use the phone here?”

[wormfailed-blog]

“So that’s how you treat your mates now, eh?” Peter said in a tone that was supposed to be indignant but never quite reached the mark due to the grin on his face that refused to be suppressed. Without missing a beat, his hand darted out and took the cigarette from Remus, clipping it to the corner of his lips in one smooth movement before resuming his talk. “Aren’t you even gonna hug me and say you missed me and everythin’? I’m hurt, mate.”

[lcnewolfs]

“Nah, only the ones who disappear off the face of the earth for stretches of time,” he replied easily, unable to hide the smile that had appeared on his face as he did. Even as Peter plucked the lit cigarette from his fingers, Remus just watched with intrigue and something akin to fondness. “Please, help yourself to my smoke, by all means,” he added before raising his brows and letting out a laugh. It was impossible to be ‘round Peter and not feel like this  - it was easy and enjoyable and left him pleasant. “Who said I missed you? Didn’t even know you were gone. Actually a breath of fresh air without you around.”

[lcnewolfs]

[Elsie; text]: Oh my god. I'm not Sungmin. I'm Elsie? I think you're trying to yell at my dad, like, that's my dad's name and the only Sungmin I know.

[ rl; text ]: jesus christ.

[ rl; text ]: of course he'd pull some shit like that.

[ rl; text ]: well. in that case your dad owes me eighty bucks.

[severssnpe-blog]

“If I were a cop, I wouldn’t be wasting my time someplace like this. I’d head straight to the sources instead of a dingy bar.” One of the pros to being one of the major suppliers in the city, he had far betters ideas as to where he could catch the dealers than the police ever would. Severus’ eyebrows raised at the man’s cough. He was finally making headway - it was clear to him that the man next to him new something. “Could have fooled me.” He was clearly hiding something. “A friend… Snape. Haven’t seen him for a while. I know he spends time here.”

[lcnewolfs]

With a snort of laughter, Remus shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, you very easily could be a shitty cop, no one ever made that distinction.” Though there was a small internal sigh of relief upon hearing that the person in front of him - Snape, as he introduced himself as - was not in fact a member of the authorities. Usually the ones to avoid at all costs. He didn’t say anything else for a moment, just tried to pick his brain for a time that Peter might’ve mentioned a guy named Snape. Whether they were actually friends or not. Narrowing his eyes, Remus pulled out his wallet and left a crumpled stack of bills on the top of the bar. “What’s that supposed to mean? I said I haven’t seen him, which means I haven’t seen him. If you’re such a good friend, he’d probably tell you where he was.”

[lcnewolfs]

“ -- If this is an emergency, don’t bother me. I’m not getting paid right now” Remus gave a vague wave of his hand, motioning to the cigarette that was currently held between the two fingers without even bothering to look up from his phone. “I’ve got another three minutes before I need to be on the clock again, so you’ll have to wait until then,” he explained. After another moment or two, realizing that they had yet to leave him be, he finally looked up expectantly.

[lcnewolfs]

[Elsie; text]: I really, really don't know who you are. Who are you and how do you have my number?

[ rl; text ]: maybe you should lay off the bottle next time then, sungmin?

[lcnewolfs]

[ text; remus ]: of course i'd go after them, who do you take me for?

[ text; remus ]: don't answer that

[ text; remus ]: maybe if you get lucky you can see me kick ass tonight. i work 5 to close

[ text; molly ]: you're such a fucking badass. puts everyone else around you to shame tbh.

[ text; molly ]: too late. even had to cut myself off.

[ text; molly ]: eh. i'd rather take you home at the end of your shift, if i'm being totally honest.

[lcnewolfs]

[Elsie Chang; text]: I...think you have the wrong number.

[ rl; text ]: i definitely don't

[ rl; text ]: stop playing dumb.

[lcnewolfs]

[ mm; text ]: my records say otherwise... or at least they would if i kept records

[ mm; text ]: who tf is this then?

[ rl; text ]: you sound like a terrible debt collector

[ rl; text ]: remus lupin. how did you get my number?