ᴀʀsᴏɴɪsᴛ's ʟᴜʟʟᴀʙʏ.

NOAH WILLIAMS. twenty seven. first-aid. when i was a child i'd sit for hours staring into open flame something in it had a p o w e r could barely tear my eyes away ---- ooc; meme. they/them.

[j-umpthefence-deactivated202206]

the day is incomplete, the thoughts of total defeat.

[katiazamolodchikova]

My ghost Where’d you go? I can’t find you in the body sleeping next to me

[jackieshaunas]

Please don’t run a w a y; I’m a murderer, what can I say?

[lcquax]

@ofcatalina ; i guess i’ve been distracted by a handsome man with a big… iq!

‘ really? how do you KNOW his iq, catalina? because if you administered a test, i kind of want to take it --- --- i don’t even remember my iq, and it’s kind of an important number to know if it impresses you, you know? good impressions are IMPORTANT, VITAL things to square away before you do anything else. ’

[lcquax]

i’m hecka tiredt? but i’ll finish all my replies tomorrow, promise.

[lcquax]

sherlock holmes:

         ‘ you do, don’t you ? ––––– well, you’re not going anywhere until you SPILL. ’

‘ spill? a gentleman never gets pounded from behind and tells, beatrice! he doesn’t even KISS and tell. if i held hands with someone, i’d be running my mouth better than anyone! but i am a gentleman and a scholar, just as the phrase goes: and i don’t name names. snitches get stitches, maybe this person is still in the closet. do you know? no. ’

[lcquax]

foot stan:

         ‘ so, you won’t touch my feet and you DARE call yourself my friend? i see how it is. just get your jolly green giant ass down here, you asshat. ’ 

‘ fine! fine! but only based off the bonds of friendship. you know, there are a million and one other things we can do to prove our friendship, kaylee. we can gossip, complain about the heat, go shopping by raiding people’s houses while they’re at work, read books while next to each other, i could paint your nails, we could ... give back massages, instead of foot massages, have a cup stacking contest, play cards ---- i could keep going. ’

[lcquax]

excellent at detecting lies:

        ‘ ––––––– OH; now you do ? ’

‘ ..... yes? LOOK --- --- listen, buddy. pal. friend. amigo. mon amie. tris. beatrice. miss cheung ... i am a very busy man. places to go, people to see. places to see, people to go ... to. ’

[lcquax]

dirt eater:

         ‘ if you throw in a bottle of water, –– sure, why the fuck not ! – – – pretending to be blind ? nah, that’d be something alright. but what do you wanna do, huh–– push a table in front of him and see if he trips ? ’

‘ wait, you’d really eat dirt? i wanna see that, i’ll give you my water for it ---- ---- wait, wait wait: why would i want to abuse a blind man? that’s like kicking a puppy, wolfgang, and i am not a dirty rotten puppy kicker! ’

[lcquax]

HUGS NOT DRUGS:

           ‘ tell you what, –– i find a cigarette ? i’ll try & withstand that infamous peer pressure ! though i would rather eat a handful of dirt than putting one of those stale things in my mouth. –– no fuckin’ pun intended. yeah, i mean… is there a seeing jon ? ’

‘ ---- ---- for ration cards, WOULD you eat a handful of dirt? because we can arrange that ----- ----- and i mean, maybe he’s  p r e t e n d i n g  to be blind. what a conspiracy! bush did 9/11, the moon landing was faked ... and on and on. ’

[lcquax]

STUPIDER CUPID:

          ‘ and you didn’t tell me ? –– – i call a ROOMMATE FOUL ! i mean, here you are–– prying into my love life, and you can’t even let me know who you’re playing the role of a  power-bottom  with ? ’

‘ ... ... you know what, tris? i forgot. that i have a thing ... today. an important thing, with important people. that’s important. ’

[lcquax]

FOOT STAN:

       ‘ —— — – you OWE me fifteen dollars and a feet massage. ’ 

‘ i would! but money is useless, and feet are gross. even if i had like, some kind of creepy foot fetish, it wouldn’t really go anywhere --- --- so tell you what! instead, i’ll give you a hug, or a good-natured pat on the back. ’

[lcquax]

STUPID CUPID:

           ‘ then who did ? honestly, unless you had some secret male frie––– you did not ! ’

‘ i did! a big, old, secret male friend. hot and bothered and unable to put toilet seats down. jammed it right up my ASS, tris, it was a real  a d v e n t u r e. unfortunately, in his post coitus urinary tract infection preventing pee, he didn’t put the seat down. unfortunately. ’

[lcquax]

SEEING WOLFIE:

        ‘ only reason i’d be SMOKING would be due to how freakin’ hot it probably is. seriously skin-tight costumes –– SPANDEX –– how the fuck don’t they just  drop dead  on the spot ? tell you what, i ever decide to join your little… whatever, i’ll be rocking shorts & a god damn t-shirt. flowy and all that, y’know ? –– – wait; are you telling me blind jon isn’t secretly raising a family filled with visually impaired ballerinas ? ‘cause that’d make one hell of a movie. ’

‘ well, you shouldn’t smoke, wolfie, it’s bad for your health --- --- and it’s okay, ‘gangeroonie, you can still look like a GOD in a tee-shirt and some khakis --- some nice bermudas, maybe some plaid! --- --- and blind jon? as opposed to seeing jon? ’

[lcquax]

TRIS:

@lcquax said ; “ it wasn’t me, i swear ! ”

         ‘ noah, –– pal –– there are two people in this house. and i know damn well that i didn’t do it, which leaves only you. do you SERIOUSLY wanna take the route of – deny, deny, deny – right now ? ’

‘ tris, look ------ ----- me? noah? a great friend and person? can explain: i DID not, and will not ever, because i have too much respect for my squatting counterparts --- i am a feminist, beatrice cheung !! ---- leave the seat up! ’

[lcquax]

WOLFIE:

       ‘ do your bidding ? starting to sound a whole lot more like you wanna pull an it; then forcing me to be your harleyquinn. a jester costume ? how about no. red ? not really my color. ’

‘ come on, wolfgang! i think you’d look pretty damn  S M O K I N G in that jester cap. that’d only be if my bidding was bad: let me tell you a secret, my dear wolfgang --- my bidding? the bidding of noah williams: is excellent, moral, good & clean, free trade, all natural organic gmo free BIDDING!   -------- saving kittens from trees, playing cupid and shoving together people oh-so-clearly in love, reading to the blind & illiterate --- which is basically just jon and the kids. which makes it sound like i’m a fifties housewife. “ oh, how are jon and the kids, muriel? i know, he’s been having a tough time at the factory. but little jimmy got an a on his paper, and sarah makes a wonderful ballerina! “ ’

[lcquax]

❖ scrambled eggs? scrambled eggs

‘ scrambled eggs are SATANIC !! most eggs are satanic. raw, hard boiled, sunny side up ---- i’m shuddering just thinking about it! forget ghosts and ghouls and demons and murderers this halloween --- dress up as a fucking egg !! ’