GRIMM SENTENCE STARTERS
“Hey! I didn’t know you couldn’t sing!”
“Sorry, guess I should have worn my airbag today.”
“A gift basket would have been nice!”
“I don’t need you for what you know, I need your nose!”
“Boy, you really know how to butter a guy up for a favour.”
“Death by Hokey Pokey.”
“Don’t you dare say ‘heel’!”
“Good boy.”
“Death… by rat?”
“How many rats?”
“Just for the record, I didn’t actually kill her. She impaled herself.”
“Alligators don’t rob houses.”
“Nobody was probed… yet.”
“Oookay, that warrants a ‘how the hell did it do that’?!”
“Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much…”
“Dude, I gotta be honest. Your mother scares the crap outta me.”
“I told you to meet me, not eat me!”
“Your whole face looks like a volcano that’s about to explode.”
“What up, bro?”
“Well, I’m glad you know how to clock a dude with a brick.”
“Ah, just what I need. An entrance to Hell.”
“He ate a baby. That’s rude.”
“Dude, join the misunderstood.”
“Actually, that was a paraphrase. I left out the bad language because I can’t write that fast.”
“I haven’t had this much fun since that drunk threw up on me at the Christmas party.”
“Seriously? That’s like a beer and half an onion ring.”
“What am I? Your personal Wikipedia?”
“I wasn’t pissing on the fence for kicks.”
“It’s obvious. It was committed by a barefooted man carrying a wolf.”
“Next time we hire an intern I’m going to suggest they do a better psych evaluation.”
“My baking days are over…”
“Woah, hold on. This is one of those “pause, take a deep breath” situations where you can’t be going off half, full, or any other degree of cocked.”
“We’re supposed to pull out his eye with a spoon?”
“That’s gotta be uncomfortable…”
