For the @allaboutnalu gift exchange, I had @lcydragneel!
I will admit, I struggled hard with the fluff, and this was actually my third attempt on a story. I am sorry for the lack of fluff, but I think I got most of everything else!
If you have an AO3 account, let me know and I will add you as the giftee! Enjoy!
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Everything had gone cold, quiet. A desolate absence settled over the world as the one who had been Natsu Dragneel passed from the world. His heart had failed to beat. His lungs deflated with not even a breath to fill them. The ever-enduring flame had been snuffed out, and she felt it all the way down into her very soul.
Fingers shook even as she tried to write in the book of E.N.D., but how could she keep writing if tears blurred her vision? No matter how hard she tried to clear them, more gathered on her lashes and stained her cheeks.
“Lucy!” Gray called to her, but his voice sounded miles away, barely echoing off mountain peaks to reach her. If he said more would remain a mystery as waves broke and pulled her underwater, filling her ears and lungs, reducing both to a state of uselessness.
There was no way he could be gone, right?
No matter how many times the enemy had knocked them down, somehow, against all odds, Natsu always pulled himself up and finished the fight. If it meant protecting his guild, family, and friends, he would put his own being on the line to ensure their safety.
But he had never died before! They always came out on top, the victors to go on another adventure together, to wake up and know the other would be there.
Magic pulsed around her, warring with the burning heat of her skin—the extinguished flame in her soul offered no heat to ward it off. When the cold snap of ice magic burned her skin, not a sound or attempt to pull away came from her. Not with her heart breaking at the loss of their connection, the realization why her body dimmed and dulled, or when the hammer of truth finally crashed down on her.
Air caught in her throat. Gut churning coughs tore at the insides of her throat, cutting off any way of gasping in air. Hands grasped the blankets, twisting and pulling them, wheezing for any morsels of breath she could. Another round started just at the end of the last and her gag reflexes had her scrambling from the bed.
Blankets caught up around her feet, toes tripped over the rug, and her own legs couldn’t seem to go straight. The cover of the toilet barely lifted before everything from dinner's salad to the cheat ice cream she had before bed came back up and out of her mouth and nose. Acidic bile burned her sinuses and throat, leaving a vile taste that nearly added to the mess in the bowl.
Air finally filled her lungs, tinged with the scent of vomit. With her nose plugged with particles of food and bile, she forced herself to breathe through her mouth. Saliva and left overs dribbled down in long strands from her lips, adding to the disgusting pile that was Lucy Heartfilia at that moment.
That nightmare...a cold, dead weight settled in her stomach and brought another wave of nausea. Luckily, she managed to keep everything down this time, but the feel of it haunted her, lingering into her waking thoughts. It hadn’t been the first time it had struck without warning, nor the first time it left her with dark circles. When she would find herself home and soaking in a bath, silence would buzz in her ears, needles prickled her skin, and tears sent ripples through the bath water.
No one could understand her distress. The grief, shock, and heart-wrenching terror she had felt in those endlessly long seconds when he had been taken from the world.
No one else had felt the flame extinguish from both of their souls—souls connected by a life story and a demonic book. Not even the other half of the connection.
In those few seconds, she had truly been alone. The flames that had seared his soul, been passed down from dragons to slayers, rose up and claimed her for itself. Their souls had burned and fused together, fluttering as the beat of their hearts aligned.
Neither her spirits nor the guild could come close to the connection she had made with him while rewriting his book.
When the chill of mortality spread from the depths of her soul, the thought of dying with Natsu filled her with a sense of peace that scared and calmed her. A way for them to go together and continue their adventures. But while his fluttered and seized, her heart had crumbled and bled.
Getting up from the floor with the help of the toilet, she wiped her mouth and blew her nose to get rid of the taste and smell. A sigh dropped her shoulders when she realized she would need to brush her teeth again.
Another night without a restful sleep, another day to worry about others asking what was bothering her. There had to be a foundation she could use to hide the dark rings under her eyes, or a spell to keep her energy up. Anything to keep Natsu's attentive eyes away from catching on.
Most knew him only as an aloof moron, but he always seemed to instinctively know whenever something was wrong with her. During a mission a few months ago, she had taken a bad hit in the midsection, but the bruising had been hidden by her clothing. Without being able to see or smell any blood, he had come up to her and tried to pull her shirt over her head.
Erza had nearly cut his head off, flames of fury making everyone back away in fear except him. With a seriousness that spoke of his concern, everyone had turned from glaring at him to waiting on her.
Had he felt something through the link? She doubted he had even felt it in the first place.
Since that day almost a full year ago, not once had she felt anything from his side. The bond was still there, warm and steady, but that was all. No other connection, no heartbeat, no flames. Not even a way to talk telepathically, the writer in her grumbled. That had to be how he felt it, she reasoned and slathered a dollop of toothpaste on the bristles of her brush.
Maybe she would just stay home, she mused, letting the mindless action of brushing her teeth droll away as she thought over the coming day. She had been waiting for the last review of her book from the publisher. A final call before her dream came true and it was published. There had been so many revisions and edits that had to be done to get to that point. Characters that needed to be cut or adjusted, sections of story that fit in better areas, editing–everything she had known would happen, but had gnawed on her nerves either way. Everyone in the guild knew how much she had been fretting over it, and now in the homestretch, maybe she could use it as an excuse to stay home.
Not that she needed an excuse, but without one, a certain dragon slayer would appear on her windowsill.
Spitting the foam out, she scrubbed her tongue and rinsed her mouth and face thoroughly. Yeah, just staying home and catching up on sleep sounded like the best plan, and they had only come back from a mission last week. Rent was paid, her fridge stocked with enough food to feed an army—an army of one fire dragon slayer and an Exceed. No one would expect her to be rearing to go on another mission for another week when she needed more food and rent hovered over her head.
A shot of pain brought her attention back and stared at the area where the magna lines from the book had once marred her skin. No visible marks lingered there now, but at times when Natsu needed more energy or grew furious, she could feel the crevasses burrow through her skin again. Could feel his power surge, tingling down to her bones. There were times she wished she could take on some of that power during fights when her own magic power was near exhausted.
There were some things that she noticed were different besides their connection. Where the lines once burned her right eye, she could now see things that were…different. No matter how hard she tried to explain it, the words would never do it justice and no one understood what she meant. And it was hard to find the right description of since it had only happened a handful of times. Even after Levy had tried to help her research and find some magic that could cause it, nothing came up.
In the end, they had to chalk it up to a lost magic or something that had been part of the Black Wizard Zeref spell on the END book.
Whether it was just lingering ghost pains or possible damage she sustained from writing in a demon book, she had known the risks and took it. Only Levy knew of the potential issue since she didn’t want to worry anyone else or face their guilt.
Everyone in their group had a hard time accepting that they can only do so much even after all these years growing. Gray normally felt guilt over things he could control and would feel responsible for not removing all of the demonic magic.
Erza had been fighting her own battles, but would still argue that she should have been there to protect them. Being the highest rank wizard on their team put pressures on her that she refused to admit but they all could see.
Wendy had grown quite a bit in the years since she joined Fairy Tail, developing a inner strength that they were all proud of, but even she suffered from negative thoughts. Being the healer of the group left her with the largest responsibility when the physical fighting was over and they now fought for their lives from their injuries. Not being able to find the cause of the issue would bring a babble of apologies forward and she would risk exerting herself to try to fix it.
No one would believe that for half a second the once unclimbable wall behind her had been conquered. The item in her hand—the toothbrush she had forgotten to put back in the cup—had been chucked at the unexpected voice, and a squeal that would have raised the dead filled the apartment. Her neighbors were going to complain again, but she might be on the verge of being murdered!
Where her toothbrush had landed, a sandaled foot stepped down from the open window and her eyes traveled up the leg, over the bare chest, to the dragon scale scarf, and finally landing on the concerned eyes of her teammate and very person she had just been thinking of: Natsu Dragneel.
“Natsu.” Her entire body sagged, no longer having the adrenaline to climb walls, before she straightened up and glared at the man in her window, hissing. “Natsu! What have I told you about coming in through my window! And unannounced in the middle of the night!”
“What did you dream about,” he cut her off—probably hadn’t realized she had been yelling at him, if she were honest—and stalked over to her. A trace of something flickered up the back of her skull and she stepped back from his approach.
“W-what are you talking about?”
“Lucy—” he gripped her upper arms and locked eyes with her, “—Tell me, I need to know!”
Ripping her gaze away from him, she shook her head and tried to force the dream away along with the feelings they invoked. If she voiced it out loud, it would come back. Tears gathered on her eyelashes, “Please, Natsu…don’t make me remember it.”
Heated arms engulfed her, pressing her against his muscled chest that she clung to. A swell of emotions rose up and her grip wrapped around his chest, burying her face into the scales of his scarf, and shuddered. He burned like the fires he consumed compared to her chilled, clammy skin, and served as a reminder that he still lived. That those dreams served only as a reminder of what had happened.
As a reminder of what could happen again.
Her nails dug into the skin of his back, the realization that he wore no shirt or vest crept in the back of her mind. There should have been embarrassment, but the tears that dampened his scarf added enough red to her face.
Beneath her fingers, his skin felt damp and sticky from traces of sweat. She gnawing on her lower lip and wondered if he had ran all the way there from his own. Just the implication that he had rushed to be with her in the middle of the night after a dream made her insides dance.
Younger Lucy would have been mortified at the thought that the person she fell in love with wasn’t a charming prince or a dazzling knight she had read in books. That instead of those imaginary characters, she would fall for the Dragon Slayer who made all of her dreams come true.
Ear pressed against his chest, the rhythmic beating of his heart gave her something to focus on and his scent filled her lungs. Just having him near helped calm her. Swallowing thickly, she burrowed further into his scarf.
“You died.” The words came out barely above a whisper and muffled from the fabric, but she knew he heard her. Fingers curled and her nails sunk into his back. “I felt your flame extinguish again and it scared me.”
Tears fell heavier then, staining her cheeks as she stared up at him. “It scares me, Natsu, to think I could lose you and feel you leave me. That my soul will feel the chill of never having you close ever again.”
“Lucy…” He stared down at her, his voice trailing off at the end of her name, but that was to be expected. What could she expect from someone with atrocious handwriting who could only give passionate speeches during the heat of battle when he himself was riled up. What she needed to hear from him would never pass by his lips. They were friends, partners, teammates. There was no reason he would—
“What?” She took a step back, needing that space to view his face and consider what she thought he said. Of everything that she might have prepared herself for—did he even know what he was asking? “You’re joking, right?”
“Does it look like I am joking?” Instead of following her, he rolled his shoulders back and released her so she could back up. Yet, even with ever step she took, his eyes stayed locked with her own.
She managed to pull her gaze away from his and look around the room, wiping the tears that kept falling from her face. “Where’s Happy?” she choked out, pained laughter came out with intervals of hiccups that caught painfully in her chest. “Is he going to pop out and say this was a big joke? Don’t bother if he is, this not funny, Natsu!”
“Lucy.” The way he spoke her name—his fists clenched at his side, eyes narrowed, and voice low—it made her feel small, like a bunny caught by a predator ready to pounce. Only, she did not know if she liked the way it made her feel.
Warmth spread over her cheeks and up to her ear tips as he continued to stare. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
Crossing her arms over her chest, embarrassment overwhelmed her when the realization that all she had on was her tank top and pajama shorts. No wonder he was staring!
“I’m waiting for an answer.”
“Yeah, I asked if I can kiss you.”
He had been serious? Turning away from him, she pressed her hands to her burning face, shaking her head. “This is all a dream. I am still dreaming.” It was the only way she could think of any of this happening. The waking world Natsu would never ask to kiss her!
“Please, Lucy,” he sounded further away–smaller, like a child admitting to believing in something they shouldn’t. “During my fight with Zeref—” They both cringed at the memory of that day and how it played out. “—I died. The wound he gave me stopped my heart. I had no air in my lungs—fuck, I felt myself go cold!”
Arms turned her to face him and gripped her arms tightly—enough to keep her there, but not to bruise. Once more, their eyes locked, and there was such vulnerability in his it made her heart throb. Her own hands reached out and gripped his biceps, clinging to him to ground herself to the present.
“When I woke up,” he continued, lifting a hand and caressed her face softly to brush stray hairs back. “All I felt was you. Everything you did, all your emotions—it was really hard to focus, but I knew I was alive cause I felt them.”
A boyish grin spread over his face and he leaned in closer, their foreheads touching. “That was when I knew Happy was right and you loved me.”
The amount of sputtering she released only added to his grin and he laughed. Unable to hold down her own giggles that bubbled up, her own laughter joined his and filled the apartment. Everything about the night felt surreal. Fingers dug into muscles that flexed and her body sagged in relief.
This was real, she realized, watching him with eyes full of wonder. Both of them stood in her apartment, laughing over nothing after everything had been so tense and serious.
A breath caught in her throat at the memory and realized he hadn’t tried to kiss her yet. That he actually cared enough to get her permission, first. Would it be proper for her to kiss him without asking? Consent was important, but he had asked first…
Taking a chance with the last bit of courage she had, her feet pushed up to her tippy toes and her head tilted to the side just enough to catch his lips against hers.
At first, she felt him still, smile fading, and body tense. Then, he shifted and kissed her back. Everything was soft. His lips, actions, and even his grip. It was soft and tentative. Together, their movements remained slow and gentle, both relishing in this new step they took forward.
Surprisingly, he pulled back first, his hand cupping her cheek and caressing it with a thumb. The smile he gave her lit up the entire room and her knees felt weak.
“That,” his voice lowered an octave, sending a different kind of shiver through her, “was awesome!”
“You are such a child,” she chided, her laughter taking away any bite it might have carried. “What am I supposed to do with you?”
“Say you’ll stay with me forever.”
Lucy felt her heart skipped a beat or two. The passion and determination in his eyes mirrored the times he faced a challenge. Did he really mean those words, she wondered, biting her lower lip.
“Someone once told me Celestial Wizards don’t break their promises, and I plan to always be with you,” he continued, tucking some of her hair behind her ear again. “I’ll never leave you again.”
“You betcha,” he grinned. “Wherever you go, I’ll follow, and where I go, I’ll make sure you come along! We’re a team, partners—”
“And together,” she finished for him, giving him her own smile. “Forever.”
Going to her tippy-toes, she pulled him down and felt his breath over her lips. A shiver of excitement pulsed through her and felt her soul quiver on his side before their lips met again. “I promise.”
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