Welcome to my library! Here are the Master lists of each of the stories that I have published on Tumblr. I hope this makes it easier for you, my Dearest reader, to navigate my page.
All stories listed here are FanFics with BTS (individually or OT7) as the male lead character(s). Drabbles, Character Asks, and other related material will be included. Each story will indicate who is involved and its maturity rating.
American Mate đ„đđ đ
All stories listed here are FanFics with Ateez (individually or OT8) as the male lead character(s). Drabbles, Character Asks, and other related material will be included. Each story will indicate who is involved and its maturity rating.
Incomplete đ„đđ đ
All stories listed here are original works of my crazy imagination. Drabbles, Character Asks, and other related material will be included. Each story will indicate who is involved and its maturity rating.
Breaking and Entering đđ đ
All stories listed here are fan fiction based on dramas from different countries. They may involve one or more characters from the named drama in different AUs. They may or may not be "drama x reader/yn." Drabbles, Character Asks, and other related material will be included. Each story will indicate who is involved and its maturity rating.
Reciprocal Synergy đ„đđ đ
All stories listed here are reader requests from my Patreon Membership readers, some of which will be FanFics or original story requests. The requests are for One-shots or Mini Series. Each story will indicate who is involved and its maturity rating.
Was it Fate? - San x Plus-size readerđâïž
BTS Mulan AU Ask (not a story or one-shot, just a who would be who) đ âïž
All stories listed here are One-shots or mini-series that came from my own thoughts or from discussions with like-minded friends. Their full publications will be available through my Patreon in two ways. Each story will indicate who is involved and its maturity rating.
Atiny Lost - Yunho x Fem Reader One-Shot đ„âïž
Let Me Make It Up To You - Hongjoong x Mingi x Guest One-Shot đ„đâïž
To Love An Asshat - A Jackson Wang X Reader Two-Shot (Part 1) đ đ
Iâve wanted to do this for a while, so here it is! It took some time, but it was necessary for me to better organise everything. It will keep being updated. I hope it can help anyone find fics they like. Also, I would like to thank all those amazing authors for giving us such amazing stories! Happy readingđ«¶đŸ
synopsis: your culinary classes were a little bit brighter with your classmate mingyu. his dishes were some of the best you've tasted, and it didn't help he was so handsome, kind and endearing. you hope by proposing a night of cooking together in preparation for your finals you can get a tasteâ not just of his cooking, but something a bit more satisfying.
tags: chef!mingyu, culinary student gyu, pwp, like 2 seconds of plot here, smut mdni!!! size kink, kitchen sex, fingering, dirty talk, choking, unprotected sex, creampie, big dick mingyu đ€, ateez wooyoung mentioned briefly
fic 2/13 of the svt diamond records series.
note: second installment of the series is here and sorry (not) for this one.. this is just pure filth w a touch of plot. this is how mingyu gets us.. once again, playlist is perfectly in tune w the storyline, as is the theme of the series! thank u to my favs @belovedgyu @cherrymayz @livmarauder for being my betas this fic <3
now in rotation: taste - snoh aalegra | kiss it better - rihanna | tastes so good - sabrina claudio | tio - zayn |
dividers by @cafekitsune
Your seat mate has to be the finest man you've laid eyes on. You go to a culinary school, but the hottest thing in that kitchen is Kim Mingyu. His white chef coat is always so tight around his stupidly perfect build, causing your brain to short circuit whenever he's busy stirringâ arms on full display and flexing.
You swear, you're going to end up burning a dish if you spent any more time staring at him again. How he doesn't catch you is a mystery. You would ogle him every time you talked, but a man who looked like that had to be used to it.
You're stressing over finals coming up, knowing you have to create a unique dish for the head chef to taste. You have free reign on your workâ it can be a dessert, side dish or main entree as long as it has uniqueness and is well done. Your head chef doesn't want twenty spaghetti dishes; she wants to see originality.
Between you and Mingyu, no one else stood a chance to bag the top position. Everyone complimented your dishes whether you worked together or solo, your tastes complimenting each other. You are a great team and know how to cook up an original recipe with ease.
When you propose the idea for Mingyu to come to your apartment in a few days with some dishes he wanted to cook for the final, he wastes no time to agree.
"Sounds fun! I have a few recipes I've been dying to try I think you'd like. I'll stop by the grocery store and you tell me what you need."
"Oh no, it's okay Mingyu! I was planning on getting my own things you don't have to!" You wave your hands frantically, not wanting him to spend money on you. He waves you off with a hand, swearing he didn't mind.
"Don't even worry about it. You're letting me use your place to cook, that's good enough!" You try arguing but he wasn't going for it, a goofy grin on his face as he shakes his head, arms crossed.
He was absolutely adorable, like a kid trapped in a 6'2 buff guyâs body.
You agree to cook together in three days on Friday, your final being on the following Tuesday.
The rest of the week you're giddy, mind racing over the thought of having Mingyu in your house. That man is meticulous about his food and you've made sure your kitchen is stocked with any utensils and ingredients that may be needed.
By the time Friday rolls around, you have already deep cleaned your house and kitchen. You were feeling a little delusional and made sure your bedroom was straightened up as well. You know, in case you had to cook in the bedâŠ
You settle on looking nice but not overly dressed up. If you wore a mini skirt bending over in your oven, you knew you'd be trying a little too hard. A pair of flowy black pants that framed your body nicely and a tight fitting tank top made do, your hair clipped back out of your face cutely.
The sound of your doorbell makes you jump, nerves spiking as you open the door for your classmate, his arms full of grocery bags as he greets you cheerfully.
"Thank you for allowing me in!" He grins, his large arms wrapped around paper grocery bags as he refuses to let you take them, kicking his shoes off and entering your kitchen.
"Oouuu, nice kitchen! This is perfect." He hums an approval as you both dig through the bags, pulling out the ingredients for various recipes.
"What were you planning on making?" You help him carefully dice vegetables and herbs as he works on the main course.
"Honestly, I was thinking the dessert route. I have a oreo cheesecake and pumpkin tiramisu I wanted to work on."
You glance at Mingyu who stops dead in his tracks. The look on his face is hilarious, as you can practically see him planning on stealing the whole pan.
"Those sound crazy! I can't wait to have a taste."
He hums, a lazy smile on his face when he turns back to seasoning the duck breasts.
He asks a million questions about yourself; things that you typically didn't have time to discuss during your classes. You discover that he likes to sing, though he swears he's too shy to full on sing around you. You catch him quietly humming along to a few songs you play as he cooks, bringing a smile to your face.
"Take a sip of this wine after, it pairs so well together." He insists, a satisfied look on his face after a hefty bite. You take the fork he offered and pick up a piece with his watchful eyes on you.
"Oh my god Mingyu.." You nearly moan out, the flavors of the dish standing out as you close your eyes and nod your head in approval. "This is insanely good!"
You look back at him, his eyes lingering on your face while he sipped on his glass. His gaze is heavy, suddenly making you overly aware of yourself. You pick up your own glass and note how the blend of flavors paired together.
"You weren't lying about the wine.." You shyly mumble, gaze settled on his tanned arms.
He calls your name, catching your attention as you tilt your head in anticipation.
"Did you really want to just cook tonight?"
Your stomach drops as you fight to keep your expression neutral. How could he just so casually drop that like nothing?
You turn back around to your tiramisu, ignoring his question while you slide it in the fridge so it can form properly.
"I'm going to take that as no since you didn't respond."
The smirk on his face is teasing, his tall frame leaning against your counter as he sizes you up from afar.
"I don't know what you mean? We can watch a movie and eat your dishes after we finish if you like?" You suggest, hands fumbling with a thread on your tank top.
"RightâŠ"
"Mingyu, what are you impl-"
"I know how you feel about me."
You take a shaky breath, forcing yourself to make eye contact with him. Mingyu was already looking gently down at you, though his eyes gleamed mischievously.
"I overheard you and Wooyoung talking on facetime a few weeks ago.. Something about how 'big Mingyu is,' and that you'd like to 'see what else was big on him?'"
You want to die on the spot from humiliation.
"I- I- that⊠that was a joke."
"There's some truth behind every joke!" He smiles playfully, not seeming bothered by your loud mouth best friend getting you caught up. Wooyoung really needed to invest in some headphones in public.
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, I think you're hot."
This man was so forward it was throwing you extremely off what little game you thought you had.
"Mingyu⊠just finish up your salmon." He laughs, shaking his head as he reaches around you. He boxes you in momentarily, his clean scent hitting your nostrils as he grabs the glazed salmon and vegetables.
"Wow⊠You really short circuit when you're around me huh?" You scoff, smacking his arm. "I finished this like.. fifteen minutes ago."
You hated admitting he was right, you were too focused on staring at his broad back at the stove that you didn't realize he finished up with the dish.
"Well let me try some then!"
You cross your arms over your chest. He grabs the same fork you were using, chopping off a bite and guiding the piece to your mouth.
"C'mon, open."
You obey, allowing him to feed you a bite of glazed salmon and carrot, his hand under your chin in case anything dropped. You hum in approval, licking your lips after to clean the small drop of glaze from there.
"You truly are skilled in the kitchen Kim Mingyu." He grins widely at that, enjoying your praises.
"Wanna find out how skilled I am at other things?"
"Now you're just making fun of me!" You groan, his laughter echoing in the kitchen.
"Nonsense, I'm serious babe." The use of the petname shifts something in you, his gaze suddenly burning like fire through you.
"Seriously, stop messing with me Mingyu. I'm sure you've called three other girls babe this week."
He gasps dramatically, hand coming over his heart in false outrage. You roll your eyes playfully as he reaches out for you with his free hand.
"I could never cheat on my favorite cooking partner. Nobody else in that class has anything on you!" His puppy-like eyes plead with you, a pout on his lips.
You will not fold, you will not fold, you will not fold-
"You have something on your lip."
You reach to wipe your finger across the plump skin before Mingyu pulls your hand away, leaning down to catch your lips against his own.
His lips move feverishly against yours, a strong hand planted at the back of your neck to hold you in place. You feel your knees go to jelly as your brain struggled to keep up with the fact your crush was making out with you. In the middle of your kitchen.
His tongue swiped along the skin of your lips, biting on the bottom lip with a soft tug. You gasp, hands planted firm on his well built chest.
"I think I got it." He smirks down at you, clearly proud with his actions.
"Are you sure? Might have gotten some on your own now." Your teasing smirk grows on your face, the energy in the room completely electrified now. He puffs out a laugh, bending back down to kiss you once more.
His large hands slide to your hips, leading you to the counter directly behind you. They roam down to your ass, giving a hard squeeze there, before he lifts you up. Setting you down on the counter, he steps in between your legs, guiding them farther open with a nudge of his thigh.
His waist is directly level with the counter; an advantage of his height. You wrap your legs around his waist, your arms tangling around his neck.
He pulls back, a string of saliva connecting the two of you from how sloppy the kiss had gotten. He trails wet, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, as your fingers glide through his light brown locks.
"Shit, Mingyu the cheesecake is still in there!" You remember frantically, out of breath and trembling from his attack on your lips and neck.
He breaks away for a moment to step towards the oven, pulling out the perfectly golden cheesecake with a mitt. Any longer and it would've definitely burned. He turns the oven off and throws the mitt on the opposite counter, making his way back towards you.
"Now that there's no distractions, let's see just how 'big Mingyu is?'" He teases, hands sliding under your shirt, reaching your uncovered breasts with an eyebrow raise.
"I hate bras."
"I do too."
He yanks the fabric over your head, top half bare as the cold air causes your nipples to harden instantly. His trail of kisses lead down your neck, descending towards your boobs. He reaches for the left one, slowly sucking on the nipple there while his hand tweaks the other with a sharp pinch.
You throw your head back, moaning out in pleasure as he continues his assault on your breasts, stimulating the buds there to the point you felt delirious. His unoccupied hand trails down to your pants and gives a tug, wanting you to lift your hips for him. You comply, shifting up a bit as he slides your flared pants and underwear off.
You spread out, fully bare for him on your counter, suddenly feeling insecure at his full attention.
"God, you're beautiful. I need to admire you just like those little cakes you make." Your cheeks heat up as he kisses all along your body, hands busy as nothing is left untouched by Mingyu.
His hands make their way to your center, pulling your thighs apart just as much as he wanted while you stare down at him. Your chest is heaving and he hasn't even touched you yet.
"Gyu⊠PleaseâŠ" You whimper, finally growing impatient.
"So needy.. haven't even gotten my hands on you yet." He clicks his tongue, strong fingers gliding up and down your plush thighs. You whine eagerly, reaching out for him.
"Patience." He grazes your clit with his thumb, sending a shock through you as you jolt unexpectedly.
He chuckles at your reaction, a long finger breaching through your aching cunt. You take his finger easily, already soaked just from making out, as you sigh. He pushes a second finger in, curling up to hit the spot you desired.
"Look at you, taking me so easily." He hums, his gaze locked onto your pussy as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, moans spilling from your lips.
He kisses you again, the wet sounds of your pussy echoing as he works you open with his fingers. His lips swallowed up your moans as you grind down into his fingers, desperate to relieve that ache between your thighs.
Mingyu picks up his pace, thumb rubbing circles along your clit as a third finger fills you, his pace ruthless. You spasm around him, crying out desperately as you feel the coil inside you get tighter, and your orgasm approaching.
"Gyu! Fuck!"
His lips are hot and searing as he works his tongue down your neck, sucking and biting along the skin there. You're a mess under him, your juices leaking down his hand as your head rests back on the cabinet behind for support.
His long fingers stretched you sinfully, his thumb gliding across your clit with ease from your wetness. You feel the peak of your climax approaching, a familiar sensation building in your lower core.
"Cum all over my fingers, give it to me baby." He whispers hot against your ear, your grip on his bicep tight as his words push you over the edge. Your whole body shakes as your orgasm hits you intensely. You see stars while Mingyu helps you ride through it, swirling his finger on your sensitive clit.
"That was so hot," He slides his fingers out of you with a squelch, bringing them to his mouth for a taste as you catch your breath.
"You're insane, oh my godâŠ" Your head lulls forward onto his shoulder as he chuckles. He grabs at your cheeks, pulling your face back up towards his. He kisses you slowly, a hand resting on your still trembling thigh. You slide a hand down towards his length straining in his pants and you nearly gasp into his mouth.
From the outline of it alone, you could tell he was going to absolutely wreck you.
"Mingyu⊠I'm gonna need you to fuck me now, genuinely quit playing." You run your fingers along the waistband of his jeans, sliding a finger past the band into his boxers.
He groans as you hold him, hot and heavy in your hand and you feel a fresh wave of arousal gush from your legs. You want him so bad, desperately helping him unbutton his pants and tug them down. He steps out of his jeans and boxers, thick cock on full display and you whimper at the sight.
"Does it meet your expectations miss?" He jokes, stroking himself a few times while you nod frantically.
"Shattered them, actually."
You both laugh, a break in the lust filled tension.
He slid you forward, hips directly level with the counter. The tip of his cock brushes against your entrance, both of you groaning from the contact.
"I hope I prepped you enough.. If you ever want me to stop, please tell me to." Mingyu's gaze is serious, not wanting to hurt you at all.
"Gyu, you'll have to pry me off of you at this point now." He laughs, readying himself to enter you.
He pushes in slowly, breathing heavy, as inch by inch, he slides in. Your eyes screw shut, nails digging into his biceps as his thick length buries further into your cunt.
"Doing so well baby, you take me so well." Mingyu sighs as he pushes all the way in. He rests his forehead against yours, giving you a moment to get adjusted to his size.
"I'm okay⊠need you⊠to move now." You moan out, swirling your hips in desperation.
His hips begin to move slowly, thick cock gliding in and out of you with ease. He stretches you out, a whiny moan leaving you from the slow drag of him filling you up.
His rhythm remains steady, careful to not get too ahead of himself while you grip down on him dangerously tight. You feel every vein from each rough drag of his cock through your throbbing walls.
"Need more Gyu!" You cry out, wanting his pace to quicken as you try to meet his thrusts.
Mingyu drunk up every one of your sounds, the sight in front of him going to his dick with every moan and gasp you let out.
"So needy for me." He lifts you up, bouncing you on his cock. His arms are supporting you, all his hours in the gym paying off as he fucks up into you, the sound of skin slapping filling your ears.
He's rough, his hands gripping you so tight, you know there will be marks in the morning. The counter dugs into your thighs while Mingyu thrusts into you, your pussy leaking all down his cock with a vulgar squelch.
His groans are music to your ears as you slide a hand down to rub circles on your clit, in search of your second climax of the night.
He sat you back on the counter, the change in angles making his cock bury deeper inside of you with a loud moan. You were mumbling gibberish, drunk on the feel of his big dick pounding into you, and his strong arms wrapped tight around you.
"Gyu, I'm so close⊠oh!" His hand grips your neck suddenly, squeezing at the sides. The hand on your neck helps keep you in place, your brain going fuzzy as you feel your high fastly approaching.
"Taking my cock like you were made for me." He mumbles, his hand staying wrapped around your throat as he fucks into you roughly, the counter sharp against you.
Your thoughts are mush, as with a final snap of his hips you're seeing white and squeezing him tight, thrashing around under him with a cry of his name. You feel weightless, his pace picking up once again and his breaths grow ragged against your skin.
"Fuck, I'm cumming, where do you want it?" He chokes out, thrusts growing erratic.
"In me. I'm on the pill please fill me up Gyu."
Your words are like encouragement to him, both hands gripping at your waist as he fucks you like a rag doll, chasing his orgasm. You whine from overstimulation, clamping hard on him when he gave one last deep thrustâ spilling his hot seed inside of you with your name on his lips. His hips stutter a few times, thick ropes of cum spilling out as he gives you every last drop. He buries his head into your chest, catching his breath momentarily.
"This turned out better than I expected." You joke, running your fingers through his damp hair.
He looks up with a confused expression.
"I was hoping we would end up like this by the end of the night." You smirk down at him.
"So you were plotting something!"
"I wanted more than just a taste of your meals Gyu. I wanted a taste of you."
He stares up at you from your chest, smiling lazily. Capturing your lips once again he kisses you. He slides out, watching his cum slowly slide out of you onto the counter. His cock has no chance to recover, already twitching with need again.
"We made such a mess in here⊠This counter needs so much disinfecting my god."
"That, and the food... we gotta put this up." You groan, sitting up. You felt sticky, Mingyu's cum still deep inside of you.
"Fuck that, we'll get it later." He helps you off the counter carefully, your knees wobbling when you stand.
"But Serv Safe-"
"Forget Serv Safe rules for now, I need a taste of something else," He tosses a glance at the cheesecake. "Cheesecake can wait, I got something else to indulge in."
He picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder with a yelp.
"Show me your bedroom, I'm not done with you yet."
You thought Mingyu would be craving a bite of your cheesecake first, not thinking things would end with him wanting to take a bite of you more importantly.
Summary: Yoongi had been your person once, and you were his. Best friends, there for each other through everything. The attached to the hip kind of friendship, there wasnât a single day you didnât see him. And he still left you. Now, years later, youâre both in Daegu for the holidays. Will you be able to find your way back to each other and begin again?Â
Warnings: Smut, angst, fluff. Best friend Yoongi with flashes of you growing up together. Yoongi is a softie that likes holding hands and asking for kisses, but also a dom with a dirty mouth, sooooo⊠Good luck. This fic also has images of text messages here and there! So this story could be more âbelievableâ, the FMC is korean, but no description is given regarding physical appearance, to make the âYNâ feature more immersive. However!!!! I do use some (like 1 or 2) pictures of korean women in the text messages.Â
WC: 16k
A/N: Merry Christmas for those who celebrate, happy holidays and all that festive cheer!! This fic is very different from what I usually post, instead of splitting it into weekly chapters I decided to post it as a whole! I only had to split it into two parts because tumblr is a little bitch and wouldn't let me post everything once. But the second part is coming tomorrow, so no need to wait long! I know I havenât posted things here in a while, so I wanted to do this nice thing to celebrate the end of the year and the start of another one! This story has also been sitting in my files for some time, I wrote it in 2022, opsie! But we all miss Yoongi over here, so I feel like itâs time for you to have this. It can be read as a one shot/stand alone, but if you guys like this, I can also make a part 3! Aaaaanyway, I hope you like this and donât forget to let me know your thoughts!Â
[Membership]
[Next]
T H E NÂ
Daegu, 2004, 11yo.
âAlright, I think thatâs allââ
âEomma!â Yoongi whined to get his motherâs attention, halting her movements to push the trolley towards the cashier line.Â
âOh, right, right, canât forget your dessert. Go on then.â
Yoongi knew exactly where the candy aisle was, so he dashed away to get his prize for accompanying his mother today. Zig zagging between customers of the small neighborhood market, the boy spied in every corridor to make sure he wouldnât miss it in his rush.Â
His mother was right after him, huffing and puffing for the boy to slow down at once before he bumped into someone. But Yoongi could already see the whole wall of different chocolates, gummies, cakes and more. And he knew exactly what he wanted to get from there.Â
Yoongiâs feet suddenly stopped short, the squeaking of his shoes in the shiny floor of the market much too loud for his own liking. But right in front of the chocolate section of the aisle, he saw you. A girl. Yoongi didnât hate girls anymore, nor did he think they were stupid; unlike his past self, of course. But he was at that age where his palms got clammy and his cheeks burned red if the girl was too pretty.Â
And you were just so pretty.Â
The first thing he noticed was the peach colored hair clip on your head, holding a single sparkly butterfly. It looked childish, not something the girls in his school would wear, but he thought it was cute.Â
The second thing he noticed was the chocolate box you were holding between your small hands, one he recognized too well. It was the one he was coming to find, after all.Â
âI liked the chocolate at our old market better.â you said to your mother with a sad tone. âWhy canât we just go there?âÂ
âItâs much too far, Ynie, this is the market weâll come to now.âÂ
Yoongi heard the woman answering you. And he recognized that tone. His eomma used it on him when she wanted the subject to be dropped. He watched as you nodded and put the chocolate back on the shelf.Â
âOh, hi there!âÂ
Yoongi froze for a second time when Eomma passed by him to go talk to your mother, lightly squeezing at the back of his neck to bring him along. Shyly, and not like he had a choice on the matter, he padded closer.Â
âIâm sorry to bother you, but⊠Did you just move to jisan street?â his Eomma was asking yours as Yoongi tried not to stare at you.Â
Your mother turned around at the new voice, a hand resting on your shoulder. Yoongi looked at his beatdown shoes when you caught his eyes.Â
âWe did, yes.âÂ
âI thought I recognized you! Iâm Min Yuna. Hi, sorry, we live across the street?â Eomma bowed as Yoongiâs mind pieced things together.Â
He remembered the beginning of the week, when the moving truck had taken boxes and more boxes into the vacant house right across from his. Now Yoongi hoped your room was the one he could see from his own. His creative mind was trying to calculate how much string he would need for a paper cup telephone to reach the other side of the street.Â
Or maybe he could ask his aunt for walkie talkies as a christmas present this year.
âIâm Anjong and this is my daughter Yn.â your mother said. âWe just moved here from Jung-gu, so weâre still getting used to the neighborhood.âÂ
âHello, Yn.â Eomma waved at you, pulling Yoongi by the shoulders to stand in front of her. âThis is Yoongi.âÂ
âHi.â you said softly.Â
âHi.â he replied.Â
Yoongi just stared at you as your mothers talked about anything too boring for him to actually want to pay attention to. His Eomma patted him on the shoulder and he knew to get a move on if he wanted to take his chocolate home.Â
But how could he, when you were standing right in front of it!Â
âWhy would you want fruit on your chocolate?â you asked as he picked up the box you had just put back.
âItâs not just any fruit, itâs a tangerine.â Yoongi said matter-of-factly. âIt was basically made for chocolate.âÂ
-
N O WÂ
Daegu, 2021
DECEMBER 11TH, 2021 | 21:45
Yoongi didnât know what he was doing there, really. Sitting on a table with three very loud friends from back in the day, two girls he was sure absolutely hated him in Elementary School, on a kinda shabby bar that clearly did not have proper heating for a December night.Â
âI still canât believe you came out with us, Yoongs.â Bo Seung was saying from the seat across from him. âItâs so good to see you, dude.â
That man was very different from the last time he saw him back in the day; taller, looking a little less chunky, bowl cut exchanged for a more stylish hairdo.Â
But then again, all of them were different. Including Yoongi.Â
âYeah, I wonder what brought him out.â Chan said by his side, with a teasing smile that made Yoongiâs regret grow by the minute. âMust have missed me too much.âÂ
Chan shook him by the shoulder, almost making him drop from the awkwardly balanced bench he was sitting on.Â
âHow long has it been?â Miju, sitting the farthest on the table, was leaning over the scratched wood to peek at the rest of them. âSince weâve all been together like this?â
âToo long!â Hyeop was agreeing, the man a little more on the drunk side than the rest of them. âWith Yoongi, Iâd sayââ
âEleven years.âÂ
All heads turned to the newcomer that had just answered, the girls shrieking and celebrating, while running towards you for a hug. The three men next to Yoongi were waiting for their turn, but already whooped and hollered.Â
Scratch his first thought.Â
Yoongi knew exactly why he was here tonight.Â
âI missed you guys, oh my.â you had a beautiful smile on your face after the girls let go of you. âSeung-ie, you look so good!âÂ
You circled the table to meet the man in question, who got up to hug you much like Hyeop and Chan. Only after he was the only left did Yoongi realize he was just staring at you, not having said a word, glued to his seat.Â
âHi.â you said.Â
âHi.â he replied.
Receiving a kick under the table, Yoongi hissed but got back to himself, sprinting into action. Your smile was just as he remembered, your hug still felt warm. Were you wearing the same perfume too? He highly doubted it; you always wore a specific brand that had closed down a good few years ago.Â
âGood to see you.â you were saying to him as your hug lingered a little while longer.Â
âYeah. You too.âÂ
Much too soon you were gone from his grasp.Â
If this was at any other time in the past, you'd be plopping down next to him, asking someone to move chairs so you could sit together. And you'd get what you wanted with the bat of an eyelash. Or at least Yoongi would move over to sit with you somewhere else.Â
So it caused an unfamiliar pound to his chest to watch you move away from him to sit next to Miju and Hani on the opposite side of the table.
"How are your kids, Ynie?" Hani asked once you settled.
As Hyeop served you a shot of Soju, Yoongi felt his heart drop a beat.Â
You had kids now?
You were his best friend once, but he had missed so much of your life, it seemed.Â
âHonestly, some days I want to walk away and not come back, but they are mostly well behaved. Sometimes more than the parents.âÂ
Parents? Oh. The kids werenât yours.Â
"Dude, you look like you're about to pass out." Chan cackled, and Yoongiâs face broke into a grin as he rolled his eyes. "You should have a drink. Or three.â
âIf I gotta deal with your ass all night, make it four.â Yoongi deadpanned.
Chan and Seung celebrated, lifting bottles from the table to see which of them still had any alcohol in them.Â
Maybe this bar wasnât so bad, after all. The lively chatting all around him was warm enough, and even though he had gotten a few looks when he walked in, no one had bothered him or taken any pictures yet.Â
âAlright, itâs catch up time!â Miju said as she got up from her seat, the plastic bench scraping on the rough floor. âIâll start.â the table quieted down to look at the girl with dark hair and bangs. âIâve been living in Busan, majored in marine biology, aaaand⊠Oh, Iâm starting an internship at SEALIFE Busan in spring!âÂ
The group celebrated the woman with new soju shots and more whoops.Â
Tonight was supposed to be just that, the catching up between friends who hadnât really seen each other since school ended. It was weird to hear about all of the different paths in life they all followed, what they had achieved, what they were doing now. But it was a bittersweet feeling; the pride of accomplishments, and the sadness for not being part of each other's lives to watch them happen.
When it was time for you to talk, Yoongi leaned over just a little more on the table; elbow resting on the wood, face resting on his hand, pinky folded on his cheek. You refused to get up, much to the booing of the other girls, who made you take a shot, since, apparently, that was a rule.Â
âWell. Iâve been living in Seoul for the past five years. Iâm a kindergarten teacherâŠâ you said and stopped to think about what else you could say. In the end you let out a little laugh and said: âGod, how did we all get so boring?âÂ
That was the first genuine laugh that left Yoongiâs lips since he sat down.Â
âSpeak for yourself, I can still do a soju bomb!â Hani snickered.Â
So you were a teacher. Yoongi remembered how you always wanted to work with kids, making him happy to learn you were following the footsteps of your grandmother like you wanted.Â
The more you spoke, the longer his smile stayed attached to his face. You still had that fascinating way of telling stories, of making even the simplest happening turn into something extraordinary.Â
"So anyway, that's how I ended up at my school." you told the table with a giggle.
Fuck.Â
Yoongi had forgotten the way your laugh sounded. It had once been his favorite sound in the world, and hearing it now felt like coming home after a much too long trip away.Â
Yoongi's eyes stayed on you even after you stopped talking.
The more he âfor the lack of a better wordâ stared, the more he noticed differences and similarities in you. You had the same cute nose, but the angles of your bones were a little sharper, more elegant. Your cheeks had lost all of the baby fat you always hated. You no longer had bangs over your forehead, the kind that used to annoy you, but your mother insisted on keeping. Instead, your hair framed your face neatly.Â
Around your neck, Yoongi could see a long chain and a single pendant; a golden butterfly with peach colored wings.Â
And when he looked up to your face, you were already looking at him. But this time he didn't look away.Â
"Alright, my turn!"Â
Chanâs voice was what broke your staring contest with yoongi. One he never used to win even back in the day.Â
When deciding to come out tonight, you only expected to meet the girls and the three boys; they were usually the crowd that came to these gatherings.Â
Every once in a whole lot of time, the stars align long enough for you and your old school friends to be in Daegu at the same time. Right now, it was the end of year holidays that brought you all over to your hometown.Â
You had seen this bunch the last time three years ago, and then again a year before that.Â
But not Yoongi.
Never Yoongi.
It was the first time he joined the reunion since leaving Daegu to become a trainee and then debut as part of the biggest kpop group in the world right now. Itâs been nine years since you last saw him; at least in person, given that it was impossible not to see SUGAâs face practically everywhere.Â
No one had told you he was coming, and in a way you appreciated that. The element of surprise took away the overthinking. The second guessing yourself if things would still feel the same with him, how much he had changed now that he was a worldwide famous man.Â
You had Yoongi very close to your heart. The memories from a time where it used to be you and him against the world. Your best friend since you were little kids.Â
You didn't want to let anything stain that picture-perfect image you kept all these years.Â
But as you saw him smile just a few minutes ago, you knew he couldn't have changed much after all. He still had the same petal-pink gummy smile, the same small nose and cat eyes.Â
He looked grown up, of course. And so handsome you couldn't look at him without feeling a little warm in the face. His hair was a lot longer than you ever saw him keep it, the stupid school rules always made him cut it short. It was jet black in color, looking soft as ever.
âHang on, is this the first time we are all single?â Hyeop asked with amusement and raised eyebrows.Â
âWe were all single last time too.â Miju pondered next to you. âWhich says a lot about our bunch if you ask meââ
âNo, no! Yn was dating that guy!âÂ
Damned be Hani and her great memory. You and Miju groaned at the same time, the girl sharing your sentiments when it came to your ex; she knew the whole story. Clinking your shot glass with hers, you toasted: âIâll drink to that.âÂ
DECEMBER 12TH, 2021 | 01:23
Yoongi didnât remember whose idea it was to walk to the nearest park after the bar closed down for the night. It was a little after one am, the streets were dark and deserted; so much so he had to pull his hood over his head as a precaution. Plus, it helped to keep the wind away from his ears.Â
âDo you still get cold ears?âÂ
Only now he seemed to notice you had fallen behind to walk side by side with him; hands in the pockets of your heavy winter coat.Â
âThe hair helps a bit.â he chuckled and you nodded.Â
âIt looks good.â you told him with a noncommittal shrug, continuing when his brows knitted: âThe hair.â
âAh. Thanks.âÂ
âCome on, we donât have to be so awkward around each other.âÂ
Your elbow bumped his and Yoongi couldnât tell you just how much he wanted to fall back into that place of comfort at being around you. He hoped it would be easy to feel like no time had passed at all, just like the old times.Â
When heâd spend six to seven months without seeing you, during his trainee years; barely having time to call, not being allowed to text during the day. Just to visit Daegu for a week at a time, and it felt like not a day had passed.Â
But this time it wasnât seven months he spent away, it had been years. And he knew that if there was any space put between the two of you, it was his fault.Â
âHowâs the family?â you asked when he didnât seem to find his voice.Â
âGood. Eomma is the same.â he said and you agreed with a nod. âThe restaurant is doing well.â
âOh, I havenât been there in so long!âÂ
âYou should. She would love to see you.âÂ
âIâll make sure to come by next week then.â you kept walking next to him, feet matching each othersâ paces. âOppaâs still the chef?â
Yoongi couldnât stop the roll of his eyes, knowing very well you only ever called Geum-jae âoppaâ when you wanted to annoy him. And it still worked.Â
âYes, hyung is the chef.â he groaned.Â
You grinned. âIâll definitely make sure to stop by then.â
âAish, youâre unfixable.âÂ
You giggled, and a little of the stiffness left his shoulders.Â
âYo, slowpokes!â Hani was calling the two of you with a wave of her hand.Â
âWeâre coming!â
You were the one answering, but had no rush to match the others. You could already see the park ahead, surprised to see groups of friends sitting on the grass, next to the many outside heaters spread around. Most of them were better prepared with blankets or picnic towels, some even had food laying around. But the spontaneity of your outing didnât stop your friends from securing a sitting spot at the top of the hill.Â
The small race to get there was enough to get your heart pumping and send away a little of the cold chilling your bones. You sat down on the cold grass, pulling more of your coat down so your ass wouldnât completely freeze.Â
Surprisingly, Yoongi plopped down next to you.Â
You could tell he was slowly coming around himself, understanding it was more than a little overwhelming to be around the group again after so many years. Especially when you already knew him to be a lonely homebody on the best of occasions.Â
What shouldnât surprise you at this point, was the pure talent Hyeop had for almost always having some type of alcohol with him. As the man passed around a few of the soju bottles he had in his coat, he pointed to you and Yoongi with the tip of a bottle.
âYou two can share, right?âÂ
âYeah, itâs fine.â you nodded.Â
You accepted the drink, twisting the cap and taking a swig right from the bottle. You half expected Yoongi to deny the offer when you passed him the liquor, but he surprised you. The man brought the drink to his lips, tipping his head back to take a greedier sip. The hood of his coat fell back, revealing the back of his almost-mullet.Â
âHow long are you in town for?â he asked you as the conversations got split into smaller groups.Â
âI donât really have to be in Seoul for a while, with schools being on winter vacation and all that.â you explained. âIâm here until my parents come back from their anniversary trip.â
âDo they still live in the same place?âÂ
âYeah, same house, same street.â you nodded, sharing a small smile with him. âNew neighbors, though.â
âOh, yeah?âÂ
You hummed, taking another sip of the Soju. As you told Yoongi about the family that now occupied his old home, you both seemed to relax and get lost in your own little world.Â
You remembered when your parents told you the Mins were moving out from the house across the street from yours, since Yoongi had finally made it big and bought them a house in a nicer part of town.Â
"Did you guys hear professor San got Lee Sori pregnant?" Hyeop deadpanned.
You choked on the drink you had been sipping, the soju going down through the wrong pipe, making you cough. Yoongi patted you on the back as he stared at his friend with equal bafflement.
âYouâre insane.â Seung shook his head, not buying it. âThereâs no way.â
âIâm serious! Just check her instagram!â
âI need to see this!â Miju said, pulling up her phone and typing ferociously.Â
You tried craning your neck to see it too, hearing Yoongiâs laugh from your side. You knew exactly what he was thinking. If he were to say anything right now, heâd say things never change, you were still too curious for your own good.Â
But an old professor getting a high schooler pregnant wasnât just any trivial gossip.Â
âDamn, I had a crush on her back in the day.â Chan groaned.
âYou had a crush on everybody.â you teased, making more of the others laugh and agree.Â
âLike you lot never had a crush on anyone back at school?â Chan snorted, never taking any shit from any of you.Â
âOf course not.â you denied.Â
âYeah, right.â Hani was cackling and you sent her a warning glare.Â
âIf she had a crush back then I would have heard about it.â Yoongi defended you.Â
But you wished he hadnât.
âNot if she had a crush on you.â the girl declared matter-of-factly, way too happy about having spilled the secret after so many years.Â
âWhatââ Yoongiâs head whipped in your direction. Almond eyes almost round.
You looked at your friends for support, for someone to change the subject, but they pretended to be too busy staring at the grass, their drinks, or the sky.Â
Your mouth opened and closed several times. âIt wasnât a big deal, it was just for a fewââ
âYears.â Haniâs voice echoed through the soju bottle too close to her lips.Â
âOhmygod, shutup.â
-
DECEMBER 13TH, 2021 | 15:48
You watched through the window of your parentâs home as the 2008 Sedan that had seen better days parked in front of the house. It brought a smile to your face to know that Mr. Min still had that car, even though you knew for a fact he also owned a newer model.Â
You also knew Yoongi chose to drive that vehicle purely for nostalgic reasons, since he always complained about the gear stick being too hard.Â
By the door, you put your sneakers on and grabbed your coat as Bo watched you from his puppy bed. The dog was the main reason you were spending the end of year holidays in Daegu; having to babysit your parentsâ old dog while they were out on vacation.Â
âIâll be back soon.âÂ
The warning fell to âalmostâ deaf ears as the seventeen year old maltese barely acknowledged you.Â
Slipping out of the house as you zipped up your coat, you watched as Yoongi rolled down the window of the car to wave at you. As if youâd miss the fact that it was him inside that car.Â
The weather today was nice enough, the bright sun in the cloudless sky warming up your skin and lessening the cold winds. Yoongi opened up the door for you from the inside, a small perk that came with the car; the passenger door didnât open from the outside.Â
âHey.â you greeted as you sat down next to him, pulling on the seatbelt that got stuck in place.
âYou have toââ
âI know, I got it.âÂ
The seatbelt had a particular trick for it to work, you had to pull it quickly two times and let it go, before it allowed you to pull it all the way out. Once you were properly buckled in, the man next to you pulled out of the parking spot between head shakes and a small chuckle.Â
âSo you still didnât learn how to drive, huh?â Yoongi teased next to you.Â
He seemed to be in a better mood this afternoon than he was last Saturday at the bar. More relaxed. You didnât know if it was because it was only the two of you right now, or if he was excited about going to the basketball quad he used to go to everyday.Â
You huffed out a laugh before teasing back: âWell, I had this friend who promised to teach me, but he never did.âÂ
âOh, really?â
âYeah. But he had to leave before he had the chance to.â you continued, looking out the window to the familiar scenery blurring outside. âWent off to become this big shot producer, lyricist, rapperââ
âSounds like a lot.âÂ
âMhmm. A bit of a liar, though.â you looked at him in time to catch the twitch of his pale fingers in the steering wheel. âSwore he would never dance.âÂ
A genuine laugh bubbled up his throat, pulling a smile to your own lips.
âIâm sure he was lied to about that as well.â
As Yoongi drove through the familiar streets, remembering the route to the basketball quad from muscle memory, he heard you speak of all the things that had changed; from small markets replaced by big chains, to restaurants that had new owners.Â
You were chatty, barely letting the silence settle between you. If this was anybody else it would have annoyed him, but it was you. And he was used to you. He missed you. He could listen to you talking all day if it brought out this wistful feeling to his chest.Â
âSo how are things with the group? And the boys?â he heard you ask after stopping at a red light.Â
âGood. We, uhâ just got nominated for the Grammys again.âÂ
âDeservingly so!â you said like you already knew that. âI hope youâll win this time.â
Yoongi highly doubted they would. Not that he thought they didnât have what it takes, but the academy had shown them time and time again that it was rigged to award the artists they chose, not those who stood out through charts, sales and fanbase.Â
But the way you spoke made him wonder if you had been following up with his career, if you had been watching him and keeping up with the news about his group.Â
âIâm really proud of you.â the declaration was simple, as if you were talking about the weather, not making a big deal about it.Â
And thatâs exactly why it brought a light heat to his rising cheeks as he tried to hold back a small smile. You were the one who had been there since the start, the one he showed his first âand the ones that followedâ lyrics to. The one to always encourage him and tell him he could do it.Â
âAnd I think I have the poetic license to say I told you so.â you said factually.Â
âGuess you do.âÂ
When Yoongi parked the car in the lot of the community basketball court, some of your friends were already there. You hadnât been here in years, but the space felt exactly the same and completely different at the same time. The railing surrounding the actual quad looked shorter, a lot rustier. The lines and delimitations on the floor were scraped and looked as if they hadnât seen fresh paint in a few years.Â
But you had spent so many days here in the past, watching Yoongi play, it felt more familiar to you than any other place in the big city.Â
You waited for Yoongi to pick up a basketball from the backseat of the car so you could both get out. As he walked to meet with Hyeop and Chan inside the quad, you went to the girls sitting in the stone bleachers facing the court.Â
âThere you aaaaaare.â Hani scooted further from Miju so you could sit between them one step above. âWe thought Yoongi had gotten lost.âÂ
âHe did make a few wrong turns, but I didnât correct him.â you confessed. âWhereâs Seungie?âÂ
âHe went to get snacks.â Miju was the one telling you with excitement.Â
Your hands were in your pockets as you and the two girls watched the boys throwing the ball, warming up, trying to make shots to the basket. Hyeop and Chan were absolutely pitiful, missing every time. Yoongi, on the other hand, never missed. It was obvious he never stopped playing, even with his rough schedules.Â
âYour man still got it.â Hani said when following your line of sight. With her hands around her mouth, she yelled at the boys: âHYEOP, YOU SUCK!âÂ
âHEY, SUCK MYââÂ
The man was interrupted by Chan throwing the ball on his stomach, making him huff a curse as the three of you laughed while watching them.Â
âI also donât know who youâre talking about.â you mumbled.Â
But your gaze was still stuck on Yoongi. The way he twirled the basketball on his pointer finger just to show off, how he would flick his wrist when throwing it to make a point or three. Watching Yoongi play was always something else, he was in his element, and he was so good âespecially next to the lost cases that were Hyeop and Chanâ that heâd be feeling himself. All smirks and cocky attitude that did something to you.Â
And that was a fact that would never change.Â
âOh my god, you still have a crush on him, donât you?â Miju hushed, looking up at you with a glint in her eyes. âI mean, he is Min fucking Yoongi, so I donât blame you.â
âIâm saying nothing.â you shrugged.
Not that you thought you ever had to say anything, even after all these years, the two girls still knew how to read you.
And you didnât think you could ever not feel something for Yoongi. He was the living proof of the saying that you never forget your first love, however unrequited and one sided it may have been. You were accepting of the fact you would always have some sort of feelings for that man.Â
Admiration; you meant what you said in the car, you were always so proud of him for going after his dream, no matter how hard things got. Attraction; he was always good looking, even through his questionable haircut phase; and age had only done him good. Infatuation; he had been your best friend once, you had way too many memories that revolved around him to say you didnât feel some level of love for him.
âWhat are we talking about?â Seung broke you out of your thoughts when he climbed the bleachers to sit next to you.Â
âYnâs undying crush on Yoongi.â Hani declared and your nose scrunched.Â
âWhat about Yoongiâs crush on her?â the man asked as he opened up a 7-Eleven bag filled with convenience store goodies.Â
âThe what on who now?â your head whipped so hard that your neck snapped.Â
The man froze, looking at you with eyes wide. âUh⊠I guess I wasnât supposed to sayââ
âOh hell no, you better fess up!â Miju threatened the poor man with a squinted look and pointed finger.Â
Seung was one of the kindest boys you had ever met in school. Back then he was awkward, didnât play any sports, loved video games and read manga. Nowadays he worked as an illustrator for a big gaming company, was a little more confident and had learned to accept himself as he was.Â
But he was still horrible at keeping secrets, so the moment the three of you grilled him to speak what he knew, his tongue loosened up.
âOkay, but you didnât hear it from me.â he started as you picked up a lollipop from the bag, just to keep busy and pretend you werenât nervous about what he had to say. âBack in school, Yoons had a crush on you. He was very annoying about it too, Chan almost told on him a few times just to get him to do something about it.âÂ
âHoly shit, the two of you are so gonna hook up now.â Hani and Miju started giggling like little girls.Â
âUh. No?â you popped the candy into your mouth, holding it on the inside of your cheek when you spoke. âSeungie said it was back at school. He probably has like⊠An idol hook up, or like a model waiting for him at home or something. Not that I care either.â
The girls deflated, but Seung held a finger up as he finished chewing on a choco pie.Â
âI was under the impression he only came to the bar last weekend because he knew you were going to be there.âÂ
The girls started squealing again, which made the three boys playing in the quad think it was because of them. You focused on your lollipop as they tried to come up with fairy tale endings for you and Yoongi, or situations to get the two of you to hook up.Â
âGirls, itâs not happening.â you said and they quieted. âEven if it was true, and Iâm not saying it is, Yoongi is leaving soon anyway, just like before.â
âWell, yes, but so are you.â Hani tried. âYou both live in Seoul now andââ
âPlease donât put those ideas in my head.â
Yoongi had been your person once, and you were his. Best friends, there for each other through everything. The attached to the hip kind of friendship, there wasnât a single day you didnât see him.Â
And he still left you.Â
Leaving you again would be even easier now.Â
âHey.â at Yoongiâs voice, you looked up. And your own heart betrayed you. âStill play?âÂ
Yoongi had lost his coat, now it sat over the railing; all the running around must have heated him up enough. He must be hitting the gym, his arms werenât lanky anymore, and you could see the outline of his chest through his shirt. His hair was pushed back and messy as he held the basketball under his arm, waiting for you to say something.Â
âUh, I havenât in a long timeââ thankfully you remembered to take the lollipop out of your mouth to speak.Â
âCome on then.âÂ
âOkay.âÂ
You jumped off the bleacher steps to go meet the man inside the court, just as Hyeop and Chan were walking out. Both men had mischievous smiles that matched the girlsâ, which was slightly worrisome. But Yoongi threw the ball your way, cutting off all other thoughts and worries.Â
âHope you didnât forget everything I taught you.â Yoongi pushed his tongue inside his cheek, head tilted.
âI still remember to bend the wrist and not push my ass out, coach Min.â
His laugh was a little more raspy, the raise of his eyebrow challenging.Â
Min Yoongi had two sides of him. The sweet, funny and cute side, one you were one of the few who ever got to witness completely. And he had a darker side, full of smirks, cocky remarks and pure danger. That one he used to bring out whenever he was on stage as Gloss âor Agust D now, you supposedâ and it came out naturally when he was inside the basketball court.
It was one of the reasons you never missed a game, and rarely ever didnât make it to his practices. Basketball player Yoongi made teenage you go a little crazy, and apparently adult-you wasnât safe either.Â
You bounced the ball on your hands, getting the feel of it under your palms again. Its weight and roughness were still slightly familiar to you. Holding the stick of the lollipop with your teeth, you threw the ball to the basket, not even making it close.Â
Yoongiâs tongue hit the roof of his mouth on a disapproving tsk as he skipped to get the ball back and send it flying back your way.Â
Hyeop wasnât the only one who sucked at the game, since your next five attempts were as frustrating as the first one.Â
âYouâre not focusing.â Yoongi was saying as he trotted to your side. âGive me that.â
âWhat? No!â you covered your mouth with both hands to protect your candy.Â
Yoongi eyed you in that way that told you it wasnât up for discussion. A look you recognized from when you wanted to go to his underground rap battles and he didnât let you, insisting that scene would be too dangerous for you.
âYn.â
âItâs mine!â you refused.
âI donât care.âÂ
Grumbling and slightly annoyed, you relented and popped the lollipop from your mouth, allowing him to keep it. Instead of reaching for it with his hand, Yoongiâs head bent lower and his lips wrapped around the sweet thing, pulling it from your fingers. His eyes didnât leave yours for a single second while doing it. And it made your stomach do a flip.Â
In a good way.
A very good way.Â
âIâll give it back to you when you hit the basket.â
T H E NÂ
Daegu, 2017, 19yo.
You barely waited for the car to park and you were already rushing out, hearing Hani complaining about being careful with the door.Â
But you were fuming!Â
You were just on the way to the mall to get your nails done and do some shopping with the girls, when you overheard your mother talking to Mrs. Min in the living room of your house. They were sharing a pot of tea, which was the usual for the two, but what they were talking about was what made you ask Hani to make a detour after she picked you up.Â
The basketball quad near the school was where you knew youâd find Yoongi. He had been living in Seoul for two years at this point, only ever coming home for his parentâs birthdays and when his packed schedule allowed him. Which basically meant twice a year, if you were lucky.Â
And heâd still be playing at the basketball court religiously.Â
âYou are an asshole, Min Yoongi!â you were yelling as you stomped closer to the railing that surrounded the quad.Â
Yoongi was mid shot when you yelled his name, making him miss. The boy sighed as the ball hit the hoop and fell to the outside of it. You cursed his skinny legs and pale arms as he approached you.Â
âHello to you too.â he had an easy roll to his eyes, a smirk on the edge of his lips.Â
âFuck you.âÂ
He jumped the fence with a low chuckle. âYou know I love it when you curse. Whatâs up?â
âWhatâs up?!â you hated how your bottom lip wobbled and your whole angry stance disappeared as soon as your best friend was in front of you. âYou told me youâd be here. You told me youâd stay for my birthday.âÂ
Yoongi didnât say anything, but you could read it in his face.
âYouâre leaving tomorrow? Already?â this time he had barely stayed in Daegu for a week, and you thought you had more time.Â
âIâm sorry, something came up.âÂ
Your forehead creased as your eyes filled with water.
âI hate you.âÂ
âI love you, too.â Yoongi pulled you into his arms.Â
On a good day, youâd be yelling and squirming from how sweaty he was after playing ball in the sun for an hour. But you didnât care about that right now. You hated missing your best friend, you hated when Yoongi was so far away, borderline unreachable thanks to the tight rules from the label he was working under.Â
âShh, butterfly. Donât cry please.âÂ
âThen donât leave.â you sniffed, squeezing tighter against his chest. âJust stay. Just this once.âÂ
âYou know I canât.â his hand was in the back of your neck, softly caressing your skin. âHow am I going to get rich so you can live off of me like you always wanted to?â
You laughed through your tears, which ended up making you cry harder.Â
âYoon, please.âÂ
âIâm sorry. I promise Iâll be back before you know it.â
If Yoongi was good at one thing, it would be keeping his promises to you. In all of the years of your friendship, you couldnât remember a single time he broke a promise. No matter how crazy or preposterous they were.Â
But that afternoon something in your chest tightened as you clung to Yoongi a little harder.Â
Itâs as if you knew that would be the last time you saw him.Â
-
N O W
DECEMBER 14TH, 2021 | 12:34
âYes, eomma, thereâs still enough food.â you pulled your coat tighter around you as you pressed the phone to your ear. âFor me and for Bo.â
âOkay, but if you need anything, you can go to the little market nearby and put it on my tab.â your mother spoke from the other side of the line. âWhat are you making for lunch today?â
âIâm actually not cooking today, Iâm out right now.â
âOh?â
âIâm going to the Minâs restaurant.â
âThatâs wonderful! Please tell Yuna-ssi that yeobo and I will pay them a visit too when we come back. Itâs been too long.â your mother sounded even more chipper now than she did when you were telling her about yourself.Â
âWill do, eomma.âÂ
As you said goodbye to your mother, you pushed the heavy glass doors open to the Minâs restaurant in the heart of Sindang-dong. You recognized the smell of the food instantly, never missing the opportunity to visit the restaurant whenever you were in town.Â
It surprised you that the place didnât have a queue of people waiting for a table, the restaurant was usually a hit with locals and tourists alike, all wanting a chance to meet SUGAâs parents and brother. The walls were filled with pictures of the Bangtan boys, and the shelves behind the counter housed memorabilia like signed albums, some things Yoongi wore before, and more pictures of the idol in various award shows and performances.Â
âHello! Welcome toââ Mrs. Min let out a small gasp as she saw it was you walking in. âYnie!âÂ
âItâs good to see you!â you accepted her hug, the woman was like a second mother to you and you hadnât seen her in a good six months.Â
Yoongi was standing in the kitchen when he heard your voice from the main room, seeing his brother turn the stove to low and clean his hands on a rag.Â
âWhy are you putting on that stupid hat?â Yoongi asked his hyung through squinted eyes as the older man hushed him.Â
Up until now, the obnoxious piece of the uniform had been forgotten on the counter, but now that Geum-jae was leaving the kitchen to the saloon of the restaurant he decided to put it on?Â
Following the hyung, Yoongi saw your eyes light up as you saw the older man.Â
âOh my god!â you squealed. âLook at you and your little chef hat!â
âHi, Ynie.â Geum-jae smiled, scratching the back of his neck.Â
Yoongi tried to control his scoff, but it was stronger than himself. At least it made his presence known and you noticed him, too.Â
âHey, Yoon.âÂ
It had been such a long time since he heard that nickname that it caught him a little off guard. Thankfully he didnât have to respond as Eomma guided you to a table âthe best in the house, of courseâ and shooed his brother back into the kitchen to make your favorite dish.Â
âMy mother says hi.â you told his mother with a sweet smile. âMy parents will come visit when they come back from their trip.â
âThatâs wonderful to hear!âÂ
Yoongi slid in the booth in front of you as you and his mother got caught up with each other. You had a hair clip holding one side of your bangs up, but no butterfly in sight. He always thought you were a very pretty girl growing up, harboring a secret crush on you for as long as he could remember.Â
He just didnât expect it to come back to him as quickly as it had.Â
Maybe it was Chan putting ideas in his head, maybe it was the recent news that you had a crush on him once too, or maybe it was just how things went when it came to you.Â
Yoongi had been worried before, wondering if things would feel like old times if he ever saw you again. It had been four days, but pieces were falling into place like an easy puzzle to assemble. You were both so different from your past selves, inside and out, yet you still felt familiar somehow.
âWait, what are you doing for christmas, then?â eomma asked you, bringing his wandering thoughts back to the present.Â
You blinked, not having to think hard on it. âOh, uh⊠Take out?âÂ
âAbsolutely not. Youâre coming over.â Mrs. Min told you, in that tone that reminded you of her sonâs.Â
âI wouldnât want to intrude on familyââ
âPlease, you have been part of this family since forever!â the small woman said as she wiped the table clean. âI wonât take no for an answer.âÂ
Mumbling how she wouldnât let you spend Christmas alone, Mrs. Min walked away to find seats for a couple who had just walked into the restaurant. When you looked over at Yoongi in front of you, he was already waiting for your gaze. You were quite used to his staring, but it never failed to make your heart skip a beat.
âSorry Iâm crashing your Christmas.â
âDonât be. I should thank you, really.â he chuckled. âFamily dinners were always better with you.â
You watched as the man poured a little soy sauce onto a small dish. Knowing what he intended to do, you unwrapped his chopstick and handed them over to him. Yoongi had an abashed look on his face as he dipped the tips in the sauce and brought it to his lips.Â
âSome things never change, do they?â you mused.Â
âYou always hated when I did that.â Yoongi chuckled, dipping the tip of the chopstick on the sauce again.Â
âTrust me, I still do.âÂ
You doubted that having the chef bringing your food to the table was customary, since the restaurant did have a couple of waitresses working in the saloon, but Geum-jae oppa always brought your dishes out himself. You also didnât miss the way Yoongiâs eyes threatened to roll back at the approach of his brother.Â
âThank you so much, oppa!â you chirped sweetly with a bat of your eyes.Â
âItâs alright.â the older man was saying as he placed your plates in front of you, with a tint to his cheeks. âLet me know if you need anything else, yeah?â
With a nod from you, the chef left for the kitchen, leaving you with a deadpanning Yoongi.Â
âDo you still have to do that?â Yoongi scoffed.Â
âDo what?â you asked innocently as you picked up your own cutlery to dig into the blood sausage soup.Â
âFlirt with hyung.â your friend clarified.Â
You giggled at how annoyed Yoongi sounded. âI wasnât flirting!âÂ
âYeah, right.â he scoffed.Â
Your lips moved faster than your brain did as you asked: âShould I just flirt with you, then?âÂ
You matched your words with a small shrug of your shoulders, gaze challenging Yoongi to answer you. And he was about to, if his smirk was anything to go by. But before he could open his mouth to speak, his mother got back to your table with her phone in her hand.
âJust spoke to your eomma, she let you come over for christmas and stay the night!âÂ
DECEMBER 14TH, 2021 | 15:09
âI canât believe Bo is still alive.â Yoongi was amused.Â
âThat dog is a hero.â you mused with a shake of your head.Â
âYou can say that.â he chuckled in a wandering tone. âI have a dog now, too.â
âOh yeah?â
Your lunch had been consumed, as well as dessert and a couple glasses of juice. But you didnât feel like going home just yet, and Yoongi didnât seem to be in a hurry either. Just like old times, your conversation never grew stale, there was always something else to talk about, Yoongi was always laughing or making you laugh.Â
This was nice, you had decided.Â
You started feeling a little more like your old selves again, almost as if nothing had changed since the last time you saw him. All the years apart, all the tears and missing him would never be erased, but maybe you could ignore them for the sake of enjoying your limited time with him.Â
âHis name is Holly.â Yoongi couldnât hide his smile when talking about his baby.Â
Your smile was just as large. âDo you have pictures?âÂ
Yoongi was nodding as he got up to change seats and slide in the booth next to you. His thigh pressed with yours when you didnât scoot away, letting his warmth seep through your clothes and the smell of his new cologne fill your lungs.Â
âThis is when he was just a puppyââ
With his phone in his hand, Yoongi talked you through the photo album of his dog; a little brown poodle that just looked so sweet you couldnât help but coo at every new image you saw.
âIs he here?âÂ
Yoongi shook his head. âI wasnât planning on staying long here, so heâs staying with another member.âÂ
âOh.â
âNow I regret not bringing him.âÂ
Yoongi looked at you, hoping youâd understand what he meant. Hoping youâd realize he wasnât in a rush to leave anymore, now that he was growing close to you again. But when his face turned, yours was so close to his that he lost all train of thought. You were still looking at his phone, with a soft smile on your lips as you swiped back and forth to see the pictures of his dog.Â
Were your lips always that full?Â
He knew you always had that faint little mole on your cheek, one that matched his almost perfectly. But your eyelashes seemed longer and a little more curved.Â
âIâd love to meet him.â you spoke softly, as if mindful of the fact he was so close to you.Â
That was all it took for Yoongi to imagine you walking into his home in Hannam, playing with his dog, maybe staying the night there too. It was a far fetched dream, but where would he be without those?Â
âYou can.â he finally said.
âDid you really get him a piano?!â you gasped.
âJust a toy one.â Yoongi tried to play it down.Â
As you laughed at the video playing on the screen, Yoongi watched you. And he watched how your fingers from the hand that wasnât holding the phone rested on your leg close to his. If he could justâ
The man huffed out a laugh, surprised at how easily it was to fall into old habits.Â
Your favorite kind of skinship had always been hand holding, a quirk that rubbed off on him through the years. He was aware of the many videos made by ARMY of him twitching when someone offered him a hand, or âSUGA trying to hold memberâs handâ compilations.Â
It was usually Jimin, since his hands were so small and delicate it reminded him of yours. But of course that was an explanation he would never admit to.Â
âHeâs really cute, Yoon.â as you gave him his phone back, you squeezed his wrist and it was enough to bring a stubborn smile to his face. âBut speaking of dogs, I should go home and check on Bo.âÂ
âI can drive you.âÂ
You could definitely take the bus back home, thatâs how you had gotten to the restaurant in the first place. But if Yoongi drove you home, it meant youâd spend more time with him. And it was always like this with him. The more you stayed next to him, the more you craved.Â
After saying goodbye to Geum-jae and Mrs. Min, you followed Yoongi out of the restaurant and onto the busy streets of the district. It was so busy, in fact, that the man had to put on a face mask and pull down his beanie to cover most of his face. It was just a little thing, but you never really had to think about the fact Yoongi could be easily recognized now.Â
Once you were both inside the old Sedan and he pulled his mask down, you asked:
âCould I get you in trouble if youâre seen with me?âÂ
âNot me, no.â he shook his head, connecting the key to the ignition. âBut people might make up things, like rumors. About us.âÂ
âMin Yoongi is seen with a mystery woman in his hometown⊠Is she carrying his child?â you said in your best news reporter voice. âNo, I just ate too much blood sausageââÂ
âStop being silly.â Yoongi laughed next to you, pink gums out and shoulders shaking.Â
âI donât really care about that, just so you know.â you said, fiddling with the seatbelt strap. âRumors and all that.â
T H E NÂ
Daegu, 2005, 12yo.
âMath is so stupid!âÂ
âYou only say that because you donât know it.â you were saying through a giggle behind him.Â
âNo.â Yoongi scowled. âIâm saying itâs stupid because itâs stupid.âÂ
You were both up in his bedroom, trying to finish Mr. Chungâs homework before it was time for you to go home. While Yoongi sat on the floor, surrounded by torn out papers and pens that either lost their caps or were half bitten, you were laying on his bed; your colorful gel pens lined up and a neat notebook in front of you.Â
Every now and then Yoongi would look behind him and stare at you while not saying anything. At the beginning of your friendship, you had called him a weirdo for staring too much, but now you must be used to it, since you havenât teased him about it again.Â
But there was something nice about the way your glittery pink pen ran over the smooth surface of the paper as you copied the math problems from the school book, so you could answer under it with a pencil.Â
It was always so easy for you. Math, geography, history, science⊠You knew it all.Â
Yoongi, on the other hand, hated it all.Â
âWhen are we ever going to use this shit in real life?â he insisted.Â
Your eyebrows raised in that cute way they always did every time he said a bad word. That was half the reason he started using them more.Â
âIf we didnât have it, the man wouldnât have gone to the moon.â you answered without moving your eyes from the paper. âAppa said so.â
âWell, unless youâre going to the moon, Iâm not going to the moon.â the boy said as if he couldnât picture a world where heâd be going anywhere you werenât. âAnd youâre scared of heights.â
âJust do your homework, Yoon.âÂ
He was trying, he really was! But numbers and letters should stay separate. Yoongi huffed as he tried reading the questions again, but sometimes his brain didnât follow. He was much better with words than he was with numbers, thatâs for sure.Â
âAnything you want!â Yoongi pleaded with the little bit of hope that youâd let him copy your homework. Again.
âOkay, then I wantââ
ââno not that.â
He had followed your line of sight to his scratched up wooden dresser. More precisely, to the lava lamp resting atop of it.Â
You started pouting, so Yoongi followed up:
âHow about I give you a tattoo?âÂ
âYou are not poking me with a needle!â you started to shake your head from side to side in horror.Â
âDonât be silly.â he was saying with a laugh as he turned around on his knees to look at you. âNot a real one! With a sharpie!âÂ
âOh. Okay then.â
Yoongi already knew what he was going to draw for you. It would look cool on your wrist, or on your ankle. But you pulled down the sleeve of your shirt down from your left shoulder. His face was completely red when you revealed the skin.Â
He was always hearing your mother telling you to cover your shoulders, and how it wasnât proper to have them out. So the moment the skin was shown, Yoongi felt like he was about to get in trouble. This was bad. Inappropriate. If his mother walked in, heâd definitely get scolded.Â
âHelloooo.â you giggled when he didnât move. âYou can draw it there.âÂ
âOâokay.âÂ
With trembling hands, Yoongi picked up his only marker that wasnât dry. He brought it to your skin, drawing the body of the small butterfly before doing the wings. It was a little wonky, one of the wings was slightly bigger than the other, but it did look cute.Â
He hoped you thought so too.
âCan I see, can I see?â you asked when you grew impatient.Â
âYoon! I love it!â you squealed in that all high pitched tone as you looked at the drawing on your bare shoulder. âItâs so pretty! I love butterflies!âÂ
Of course he knew that. You had so many butterfly themed things that it was a little hard to forget. Right now you had plastic butterflies on your ears and everything.Â
âKids, itâs time toââ
âEommaaaaaaa!âÂ
Yoongi was groaning and stomping his foot as the woman opened his door without knocking. It didnât matter how many times he told her to. Eomma only huffed and laughed, watching him and you just standing in the middle of the room.Â
âIâm sorry, I forget!â the woman laughed.Â
âWhat do you waaant?â Yoongi rolled his eyes.Â
The woman was clearly holding on to her patience as she explained: âYnâs mother called. Itâs time for her to go home.âÂ
Both you and him started groaning and complaining, not wanting to separate just yet.Â
âGather your things, okay, sweetheart?âÂ
âYes, Mrs. Min.âÂ
You were pouting, but started picking up your school materials and organizing them inside your backpack. Eomma left the door open when she left, but Yoongi wished his door had a lock and key so he could keep you there a while longer.Â
âWhy canât you just sleep over?â Yoongi offered a solution.Â
âAppa doesnât let me stay here late on school nights.â you sighed dramatically, picking up his notebook off the floor. âIâll just copy the homework for you and give you back tomorrow.âÂ
âYou donât have toââ
âYnieeeeee.â his motherâs voice interrupted him from downstairs.Â
âIâm coming!â you sing-songed sweetly, even if you rolled your eyes. âBye, Yoon.â
âSee you tomorrow, butterfly.âÂ
N O WÂ
Daegu, 2021
DECEMBER 24TH, 2021 | 20:09
The past two weeks were spent by Yoongiâs side.Â
You saw him every single day, either by hanging out with your old friends or just the two of you. Even when he had to visit family members, or work in the kitchen at the restaurant to give his brother a break, you still texted throughout the day.Â
You had missed this, you missed him.Â
And it terrified you.Â
Your heart had been broken once when he left you in the dark the first time, and you knew the same thing would happen again whenever it was time to go back to real life. But Yoongi had told you how Bangtan was taking a little break so they could rest, and even though he did have solo works to take care of, he could do it remotely.Â
You hoped it meant he could stay with you for a while longer.Â
Either way, you were really good at sending those worries to the back of your mind so you could focus on the here and now and enjoy your blessings as they came.Â
âWill you take her bag upstairs, Yoongi?â Mrs. Min took the overnight bag from your shoulder and handed it over to her youngest, who was walking in behind you. âWe were just waiting for you two!âÂ
You had been inside the Minâs new house for all of two minutes and were already being hogged here and there. Yoongiâs eomma took you on a quick tour of the first floor of the house, especially excited about the big kitchen and decked out dining room. Geum-jae walked you through the menu for tonight and you were very glad you wouldnât be going home tonight, ready to pass out after dinner.Â
Mr. Min wanted to show you his new vinyl player, remembering how you were obsessed with his old one when you were younger.Â
Your family didnât really celebrate Christmas, not after your grandmotherâs passing. But there was something very homey and nice about Christmases with the Min family. It wasnât your first time coming over on a Christmas eve, but it was the first time you did so while being allowed to drink.Â
A fact much celebrated by Yoongi, who put a glass of golden liquid in your hand as soon as he found you again, next to the christmas tree in the living room.Â
âI think youâre being more sought out than I am.â the man said through a chuckle.Â
âWell, I have always been so much more interesting than you.âÂ
Yoongi scoffed, bringing the glass to his lips. You mirrored him, taking a sip of the drink and scrunching up your face the minute the alcohol hit your tongue. It went down burning and you held back a cough. The man didnât even flinch, however.Â
And that was so attractive to you.Â
In fact, he was so attractive to you.
Yoongi was wearing a black button down and dress pants, looking so expensive you were terrified he might spill something on it. His hair was combed back and away from his forehead, and his lips were a little more pink than usual, with a little shine to them that made you wonder if he was wearing lip balm.Â
And if he was, you wondered what it tasted like.Â
It was safe to say that your âhardly secretâ crush on your once-best-friend had escalated quite a bit during these past couple of weeks.Â
But how could you keep it in check with Min Yoongi looking the way that he did? Not to mention, most days you didnât feel like your attraction was so one sided after all. Yoongi definitely wasnât a stranger to flirting with you either, and you had grown touchy with each other again, just as you had in the past.Â
But between the familiar innocent touches, there were those that lingered, ones that brought a tingle down your spine and left you hot all over.Â
Like when Yoongi pushed back the hair off your shoulders, seemingly so he could see the sparkly necklace sitting snugly against your throat, and the tip of his fingers grazed your skin.Â
âDo you like it?â he asked, fingers still tracing your throat.Â
âMhm?â
âThe drink.âÂ
âYeah, itâs good.â you nodded, taking a little more into your mouth.Â
Yoongi felt the way your throat bobbed when you swallowed the fancy drink, eyes growing glassy as you tried to compose yourself. He knew it was a very strong drink, one that had taken years for him to get used to. He was proud of you for not coughing on your second time.Â
After both of your drinks were done, Yoongi brought your glasses back to the kitchen nearby, where his hyung was finalizing the bulgogi and eomma was plating the japchae on a big glass bowl.Â
âGet Yn and come to the table, yeah? Dinner is almost being served.âÂ
At his motherâs instructions, Yoongi made his way back to you in time to see the way you were slipping off your coat and settling it on the arm of the couch. The whiskey heating you up from the inside out.Â
Well, fuck.Â
It being winter right now, you had been living in oversized clothes and layers, you always got too cold in this weather. So Yoongi hadnât properly seen you yet.Â
Your black dress had long sleeves and covered your shoulders, but it was skin tight, hugging all of your curves. His eyes moved over your frame, noticing the all new dips of your hips, the curve of your backside, your beautiful collarbones and the roundness of the top of your breasts.Â
You had grown into a beautiful woman, and it was doing things to him.Â
âYes?â you said as you caught him staring, posture straightening ever so slightly.Â
âDinner is ready.âÂ
The tip of Yoongiâs tongue slipped between his lips to wet them, and you followed the movement. Like he knew you would.Â
Both of you knew what you were doing, both leading this dangerous dance that was getting too close to the line. Testing its limits, waiting to see who would cross it first.Â
If he kept looking at you like this, it might as well be you.Â
When Yoongi led you into the dining room of his parentsâ home, the hand on the small of your back wasnât lost on you, nor the way he pulled your chair for you so youâd sit comfortably. He settled next to you, just like old times.
Yoongiâs father was at the head of the table, as Geum-jae was sitting by his right and Yoongi at his left; with you next to him and Mrs. Min right in front of you. His parents were nothing if not traditional, taking the sitting chart very personally, as well as dining etiquette.Â
Mr. Min would always start serving himself first, it being the green light for the rest of you to follow.Â
âDid you make all this, oppa?â you asked Geum-jae, not thinking much of it. âEverything is so delicious.âÂ
âGlad youâre enjoying it.â the man smiled with a nod of his head.
Yoongiâs hand grazed over your thigh, your dress having moved up as you sat down. You chucked it off to an accident, until it happened again after you said:
âI might have to bring you to Seoul with me.âÂ
âWeâre actually thinking about making the move there.â he told you.Â
âOhââ
You stopped listening to the conversation around you with the way Yoongiâs fingers grazed your knee, as he continued to eat with one hand, even giving his input every now and then. He was growing bolder, it seemed, and that excited you.Â
Yoongiâs light touches continued all throughout the christmas dinner, getting a little more assertive whenever the honorific you used to address his brother slipped from your lips. And even after all the food had been consumed, the five of you stayed at the table talking.Â
âWhat about you, Yn? Do you have a special man in your life?â Mrs. Min asked, and you were only surprised that that kind of question had taken this long to be uttered. âLast I heard, your eomma told me you were seeing someone.âÂ
Yoongiâs hand left you to rest in his own lap and you instantly missed his warmth. Your own hands went under the table as you answered the woman.
âItâs been a couple of years since it ended, that didnât work out.â you were the one reaching for Yoongiâs hand under the table.Â
This was a rough subject for you, one you didnât wish to get into at the Christmas table. And you hoped Yoongi understood that when you squeezed his wrist twice.Â
As his palm turned up, your fingers slotted between his.Â
DECEMBER 25TH, 2021 | 02:09
Mr. and Mrs. Min had gone to bed quite a while ago, but you, Yoongi and Geum-jae had stayed in the living room to talk, play cards, and finish the bottle of whiskey that apparently cost more than two months of your pay. The two men drank a lot more than you, yet they were still perfectly sober.Â
All the while you were a little giggly and extremely flustered. But maybe Yoongiâs proximity to you on the couch was more of a reason for your giddiness than the drink youâd been nursing all night.Â
âAlright, you two go on. Iâll finish the clean up.â the older man said through a yawn.Â
âAre you sure? I can help!âÂ
You got up on wobbly legs, the whole living room spinning from getting up too fast. If it wasnât for Yoongiâs hands holding both sides of your waist, you would have fallen on your face.Â
âWeâll take care of lunch tomorrow.â Yoongi assured his brother as he all but dragged you away upstairs.Â
âGoodnight, oppa!âÂ
âShhhh.â Yoongi chuckled behind you. âMy parents' room is right there.âÂ
âOh, fuck.âÂ
Your hands covered your mouth as Yoongi guided you up the stairs to the second floor of the spacious house. You stumbled a couple of times, but the man behind you, and his surprisingly hard chest, held you close.Â
Expecting to be led to a guest bedroom, you were pleasantly surprised when Yoongi took you into a room that was definitely supposed to be his. The set up brought a smile to your face; a blow up mattress on the floor, next to the main bed. Just like old times, when you were allowed to sleep over at Yoongiâs house over the weekends.Â
âYou can use the bathroom first.â the man said as he softly closed the door behind him
You nodded softly. âThanks, Yoon.âÂ
You picked up your weekender bag and brought it over to the bathroom of the in suite with you, ready to close the door when an idea popped into your head. And you had too much liquid courage in you to let it go.Â
âYoongi.âÂ
He always liked the way his name rolled so smoothly off your tongue.Â
âYeah?âÂ
âCan you help me, please?âÂ
You were already turning your back to him, pulling your hair to the right side of your neck. Yoongi took long strides to reach you, fingers wrapping around the delicate zipper of your dress to pull it down your spine. The more skin he revealed, the drier his throat felt.Â
Yoongiâs breath was labored when something caught his eye on the back of your left shoulder. Moved by curiosity, he pushed the sleeve of your dress down, watching your skin be covered in goosebumps as he uncovered your naked shoulder.
A small butterfly tattoo sat there, created from thin lines, detailed wings that made it almost look transparent. Delicate. Graceful. Beautiful. Just like you.
His thumb traced the drawing, almost expecting it to fly away with his touch. But the only thing that left was your breath when his lips ghosted your skin, so faintly you might think it was a dream.Â
âThank you.â you whispered.Â
Yoongi let you close the door to the bathroom and got back to sit on his bed as he stared at the ceiling. This could be a coincidence. Butterflies were your thing, always had been. You loved those colorful little insects. It wasnât surprising that if youâd ever get a tattoo it would be one.Â
But the placement.Â
It could mean a lot or nothing at all, but the sheer possibility that it did mean something was enough for him.Â
When you returned from the bathroom, with brushed teeth and wearing an oversized shirt and pajama shorts, Yoongi looked a little far away.Â
As he locked himself in the bathroom, you let yourself look around the room, finding small details that were brought here from Yoongiâs old bedroom from when he was still your neighbor. Like the scratched up dresser that had been his since he was a baby, to the turned off lava lamp that he never allowed you to steal. You doubted it even worked anymore.Â
You were giggling as you looked at it when Yoongi left the bathroom, with clothes as comfortable as yours; sweatpants and a long shirt.Â
Yoongi sighed, noticing what was making you laugh. âI swear Chan did that.âÂ
âSo you keep saying.â you giggled harder as you took the spot in the middle of his bed. âJust admit you like big tits and go.âÂ
Yoongi rolled his eyes and you watched with amusement as he walked to his dresser, pulling out a small gift box from the first drawer.Â
âMerry Christmas.âÂ
He was nonchalant with the way he handed over the gift, but you received it with excitement.Â
âI know we said we wouldnât get anything, but thatâs just something smallââ
âI got something for you too.â you interrupted him with a grin.Â
You rummaged through your bag until you found the small wrapped up box and gave it to him. Yoongiâs lips formed a thin line, begrudgingly accepting it. As he tore through the wrapping of his gift, you pulled out the lid of yours.Â
A peach colored hair clip, with a single sparkly butterfly on the tip. You hadnât seen one like this in decades, a huge smile splitting your face as you immediately pushed it into your hair.Â
âI love it.â you smiled harder as you turned around to look at yourself in the mirror.Â
When you looked at Yoongi again, he had just unwrapped your gift to him, the square chocolate box looking much smaller in his large hands than it used to look back then, when his hands were small and his dreams were big.Â
âI didnât know they still made this.â Yoongi had a gummy smile on his face. âFuck, this used to be so good.âÂ
âI still donât know why youâd want fruit on your chocolate.âÂ
Yoongi scoffed, too tired and sleepy to fight you on that right now. As you both got ready to sleep, he let you keep the bed while he took the mattress on the floor. Before the lights were turned off, you took your hair clip off and left it safely on the nightstand.Â
âGoodnight, Yoon.âÂ
âGoodnight, butterfly.âÂ
T H E NÂ
Seoul, 2011, 18yo.
You didnât know how Yoongi could live like this.
Sure, his room back home was never the tidiest âwhich annoyed you every time you had a sleepoverâ but this was way too much. Apparently if you put young boys alone in a two bedroom apartment, absolute mayhem was the result.Â
There were piles of shoes by the door, a cluttered living room, no chair or couch in sight, the kitchen was a mess, one of the rooms served as a shared wardrobe, and their bedroom consisted of three bunk beds side by side and a smaller bed next to the opposite wall.Â
The strong smell of air freshener burned your nose when you walked into the dorm, and you did not want to find out just what Yoongi was trying to mask.Â
You had been visiting your best friend in Seoul for the first time since he became a trainee for Big Hit Ent. and was put into a boy group called Bangtan Sonyeondan. Thanks to his busy practice schedules, it wasnât always that he could go back home to Daegu to see you, so you had saved up enough to get a train ticket and book a small room at a questionable hostel for four days.Â
âIâll be back soon, I promise. Just one hour or two, tops.â Yoongi was telling you as he hunted for the pair of shoes he needed from the overflowing racks.Â
âWhat if someone gets here?!â you whisper shouted as if you were about to get caught.Â
He shrugged. âWell. You hide.âÂ
âYoongi!âÂ
âIt will be fine, I promise.âÂ
Your friend had taken the day off to spend with you, pretending to be sick so he could stay home the rest of the day; which is why you were hanging out at the dorms as his other members were still at the company working. But Yoongiâs part time job as a delivery boy had just called in and asked him to cover for a coworker, just for one hour or two.Â
Needing that job, and really needing the cash, Yoongi agreed to go over.Â
Hence, leaving you alone at his shared apartment. When you should not be there in the first place.Â
Big Hit had rough rules to keep the boys in line, Yoongi was always complaining about how controlling they were. He understood it most of the time, believing all that restrictions and hard work would be worth it in the future, but some rules were just too much at times.
Like the dating ban on his contract, and the âno girls allowed inside the dormsâ rule.Â
Yet here you were. A girl. Alone in the dorm.
As you waited for your friend to come back, you tried keeping yourself busy. You washed some dishes, stored away the bags and bags and bags of food Yoongiâs parents had sent through you, and you snooped around.Â
But as soon as you reached the bedroom, finding a few socks laying around, as well as lotion and tissues next to someoneâs bed, you held back a gag and turned on your heels, ready to go back into the living room.Â
âHyung!â an unknown voice called from the entrance of the apartment, keeping you frozen in place. âAre you awake? I got you food.â
Shit shit shit.Â
You looked around in panic, remembering Yoongiâs instructions of hiding if anybody got there before he did. There was just no fucking way youâd hide under the bed after seeing the questionable stains on the carpet, so your only choice was to climb one of the bunk beds and hide under Yoongiâs sheets.Â
You could hear steps inside the room, as well as the creaking of the bed next to yours. Holding your breath, you hoped the stranger would go away andâ
âYoongi hyungâ Oh, shit!â Â
The blanket was pulled off of you, and the young man to uncover you screeched and almost fell from the bunk bed with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.
âWho are you? What did you do to hyung?â the boy demanded in a slightly high pitched tone.
âI didnât do anythingââ you raised a shaky hand, eyes as wide as his.Â
âAre you a sasaeng?! Iâm gonna call securityââ
âWait, hang on! Iâm Yoongiâs friend!â you grabbed him by the wrist before he could run and reach the landline phone. âMyâ my name is Yn! Yoongi was here butâ but he had to go to workââ
âOh, youâre Yn?!âÂ
The boy relaxed, a heart shaped smile taking over his face. Just like Yoongi, this man was too skinny, bangs covered his forehead, but he had the kindest eyes you had ever seen.
Urging your heart to slow down, you took deep breaths. âYouâve heard of me?âÂ
âOf course.â the boy nodded, as if your question was a little silly. âYouâre hyungâs butterfly.âÂ
You were taken aback by that statement, not thinking that your friend would talk about you enough for one of his members to know his special nickname for you like that.Â
âIâm Jung Hoseok. But you can call me Hobi.â he laughed, sitting up straighter, but mindful of the ceiling close above. âSo hyung isnât sick?âÂ
âNo, sorry. Iâm just in town for a couple more days.âÂ
âAh. Then what should we do with these sandwiches I got?â Hobi opened the plastic bag to pull out two âvery smallâ sandwiches of tuna, cheese and lettuce. âAre you hungry?âÂ
You were. But Hobi looked like he needed it more than you did. And possibly the other members too.Â
Seeing your hesitant look, he added: âDonât worry, Iâm on a diet anyway.âÂ
 âAre you sure?â you nibbled the inside of your lip, feeling your stomach asking for the tuna sandwich.Â
âI insist. Besides, Jin hyung isnât here, so thereâs nothing else I can cook for you.â he laughed at what should be an inside joke you werenât privy to.Â
âThank you, Hobi.â
You accepted one of the sandwiches and ate it while you heard Hoseok tell you about their group. There were six of them right now, a guy named Taehyung had just joined them. He told how the companyâs plan was to bring one more member in, so they could debut as a seven piece, and this guy named Jimin was going through the interview and audition process to maybe join them in the future.Â
âSo whatâs the deal with you two?â Hobi asked after you had finished the sandwich. âAre you dating? Weâre not allowed to, but weâre not supposed to have girls in the dorm either and here you are.â
âOh no, heâs just my best friend.â you shook your head with warm cheeks.Â
That made him pause. âHuh. With the way hyung talks about you, I could swear there was more to the story.â
âWell.â
Just because you werenât properly dating, didnât mean there wasnât âmore to the storyâ. When it came to you and Yoongi, there was always something more there.
âOhhh, there is?â Hoseok was quite observant, you noticed.Â
You avoided his expressive eyes as you answered: âI mean, we kissed when we were 15⊠It was our first kiss ever, for the both of us. I thought something would happen after that, but it didnât.â
âOh no, Iâm sorry.â he spoke with a frown, but you dismissed it.Â
âItâs not a big deal, it was just at a stupid high school party.â
N O WÂ
Daegu, 2021
DECEMBER 31ST, 2021 | 22:03
Before you even blocked your phone screen, Yoongi was already knocking on your door. You unlocked it to let him in, balancing yourself on the wall as you tied up the laces on your sneakers. You might be wearing something thigh and short, but there was no way in hell youâd be wearing heels tonight.Â
When you looked back at Yoongi, his eyes were on your legs. And on your ass.Â
And your eyes were on how good he looked in a leather jacket and tight pants; all black as usual.Â
âReady, pretty girl?â he called by the door, tongue swiping at his bottom lip.Â
âYeah.âÂ
You were nodding as your cheeks heated up from the compliment hidden in the new pet name, stomach flipping at the lower tone of his voice. It wasnât fair that Yoongi still had this effect on you after so many years, and even less so how he managed to make your infatuation grow more and more with every second you spent next to him.Â
Yoongi still felt like your person, the one who understood you with a simple look, someone you knew would have your back, who would hide a body for you with no questions asked.Â
Meanwhile, he also felt completely different at times. There were sides of him you were just now finding out, and it was exciting.Â
âWhereâs your car?â you asked after locking the house behind you.Â
You couldnât see the Sedan anywhere on your street, and the location of the New Years eve party you were going to wasnât close enough to walk. Not on a skirt and a cropped top, much less.Â
Yoongi regarded you with a smirk, walking backwards, both hands inside the pockets of his jacket, as something beeped behind him on the dark street. The shiny black Hyundai Palisade lit up, and the flick in your eyes made Yoongiâs cocky smirk grow.Â
âOh my. Got anyone at that party you need to impress?â you smiled at his flex as Yoongi opened the passenger door of his super expensive car.
He pushed his tongue into his cheek. âMm. This girl I used to go to school with.â
âShe must be nice then, since youâve been driving me around in a car thatâs falling to pieces all month.â
With a chuckle, Yoongi closed your door and crossed to the other side to sit behind the steering wheel. This car was a lot smoother, there were no bumps and bouncing around inside and the seatbelt actually worked properly. The new car smell was also very pleasant and the heated seat was making you melt.Â
Yeah, you understood the point Yoongi was trying to make.Â
âAre you excited to go back there tonight?â Yoongi asked as he drove with his left hand, the right resting casually on his thigh.Â
âYeah, but I always liked our school. You were the one who only went because your parents forced you.â you pointed out with a side eye.Â
âThatâs not completely true, I also went because youâd be there.â Yoongi admitted with ease.Â
You were giggling as you turned away from him to stare at the window. Even if it was dark outside, without much to see, it was still better than letting Yoongi see the fondness in your eyes.Â
You couldnât help but get a little silly whenever he said things like that.Â
And this party tonight was making you a little nervous for a few reasons.Â
First, it was being held at your old High School. Hyeop knew someone who knew someone who had access to the keys to the sports quad, and who assured everyone there would be no cameras there to bust you. But the illegal aspect of it was already enough to make you nervous.Â
Secondly, the news of the reunion had spread out, so you knew old school mates were going to be there. And would bring more people. And with Yoongi being as famous as he was, it made you more than a little nervous that something could leak. He assured you it was fine, and said that if he thought something bad could happen, he wouldnât go.Â
And thirdly, things between you and Yoongi had escalated a little since the christmas dinner at his house. The flirting was more constant, as were the touches; however light or under wraps they may be. It felt like a build up to something, to reaching that point where neither of you could hold back any longer and something would finally happen.
And a New Years Eve party seemed like the perfect excuse. Kissing at midnight and all that.Â
After parking the car on a back street and away from curious eyes, you and Yoongi found the secret way in through the alley behind the school. The man kept you close to him at all times, even after you made it safely inside the sports quad where the party was happening.Â
âThis place did not look like this back in the day.â you mused, looking around at all the now-adults dancing andâ
âI mean we did have stoners back then, too.â Yoongi chuckled, following your line of sight. âBut all the drinking and grinding was a little less obvious.âÂ
People had taken yoga mats from the storage room and had created small sitting areas for their groups, other PE equipment were being thrown around as party goers played around. Someone must have hacked into the sound system to play upbeat tunes that attracted some of your old schoolmates and their friends to a makeshift dance floor.Â
Yoongiâs fingers slotted between yours âthe butterflies in your stomach going batshit crazyâ as he crossed the throngs of familiar faces to reach your friends.Â
With mats of their own, Hyeop, Chan, Seung, Hani and a more than a little high Miju were sitting and laughing around a small cooler. Â
âWhat the hell happened here?â you were giggling as Miju pulled you down to sit next to her, eyes bloodshot and glazed over.Â
âSomeone got to my edibles before I could tell her what they were.â Hyeop explained. âShe just had a small square, the buzz will pass soon.âÂ
âMy poor girl.â Hani was pulling Miju closer, ignoring her fit of giggles as she tried to make her drink from a water bottle.Â
Yoongi sat next to you on the mat, removing his leather jacket to drape it over your legs so you could sit more comfortably.Â
âDo you have any more?â Yoongi asked his friend.Â
All of the men whooped boyishly, making Yoongi regret his life decisions. A small tupperware was produced, with small pieces of a weird smelling brownie. Yoongi took a piece, turning to you with an arched brow.
âWill you do one with me?â he offered, eyes burning.Â
You looked at the inviting treat between his even more inviting fingers. âIf you promise to take care of me if anything happens.âÂ
âDonât I always?â
He did.Â
You didnât have many experiences with drugs, but the ones you did have were always under Yoongiâs watchful eyes. They usually happened at the hole in the wall underground club he used to go to perform as Gloss. Yoongi either found you making friends with unsuspecting dealers, or youâd follow him backstage to get a hit or two of the really good stuff.Â
Beautiful, long, pale fingers broke the brownie piece in half, gaze falling to your mouth as your lips parted to receive your piece. Yoongi pushed it into your mouth, maybe a little deeper than he needed to, and your tongue glazed over his fingertips.Â
âJesus, just get a room, you too.â Chan had a knowing smile on his face.Â
One Yoongi wouldnât mind whipping off.Â
The man knew too much. After you, Lee Chan was Yoongiâs oldest friend. It was to him that Yoongi told things to when he couldnât tell you. Which obviously included all of the crushes and feelings he held for you throughout the years. And of course he had made the mistake of telling Chan about his most recent feelings too. The ones awoken by seeing you again.Â
He should have just texted Hobi, his new best friend would have been a little less obnoxious about it.Â
âI donât wanna sit here all night!â Miju said as she stumbled onto her feet, pulling you and Hani up with her. âWhile you boys gossip, weâre going to dance.â
Yoongi watched you walk away, and he watched you be pulled to the middle of the hardly-a-dance-floor. He watched the way you swayed your hips and threw your head back, body swaying with the R&B song playing from the speakers. Yoongi saw the way Haniâs hands held onto your hips as you danced together and he wished they were his instead.Â
âDude.â Chan called for him with an annoying snap of his fingers in front of his face. âWill you just do something already?âÂ
âCalm down, I plan to.âÂ
Yoongi looked at the watch on his wrist. Just one more hour.Â
JANUARY 1ST, 2022 | 00:02
The first thing Yoongi would do when he got back to Seoul would be committing a murder.Â
Park Jimin was a dead man.Â
The younger man couldnât just send a âhappy new yearâ text, no. He had to call Yoongi two minutes before the clock turned to midnight. And being a concerned friend, Yoongi picked up the call, walking away from the mess of friends and acquaintances that got ready for the change of the year.Â
But when he realized that Jimin was fine, albeit a little drunk, and that he should get back to you, it was already too late. The countdown was over and you were hugging your friends, not kissing him. And the faster he walked to you, the quicker you were pulled through the crowd.Â
Yoongi couldnât see you anywhere. Especially when a familiar face blocked his vision.
You were more than a little disappointed when Yoongi wasnât next to you as the clock struck midnight and everyone started screaming and celebrating. But you understood his friend was calling him, so he had to answer.Â
Finding him afterwards was also hard, it took you fifteen minutes to see him again. And when you did, you wished you hadnât.Â
âOh shit, is that Saran?â Hani halted her steps as yours did, pushing her bottle of beer into your hand. âShe looks cute.âÂ
You exhaled a huff. âShe looks fucking hot and I hate her.âÂ
Dipping your head back, you chugged the beer down. There wasnât much left inside the bottle anyway, and it still burned on the way down.Â
Kim Sarang, most popular girl at school, class president, and your number one enemy. She was the girl all boys wanted, just because she had gotten her boobs earlier than the rest of you. While Yoongi never really showed much interest when it came to her, she was always following him around, coming to his basketball games, asking him to study together after class.Â
Giggling at all of his lame jokes.Â
Much like she was doing right now, as they stood too close for âyourâ comfort.Â
âI think you should just march there and get your man.â Hani said in a confident tone.Â
âThatâs easier said than done.â you grumbled.
âWhatâs stopping you?â your friend looked a little sweaty and crazy, but ever encouraging.Â
âThatâs Yoongi.â you spoke as if it wasnât obvious enough.
And you didnât mean Min Yoongi; rapper, producer, lyricist, artist, dancer, idol. That was your Yoongi. If you came up to him and he rejected you, it would crush you.Â
Hani was already rolling her eyes. âYes, and youâre Yn. Youâre basically soulmates.â
âWhat about you and your soulmate?â you arched an eyebrow in challenge.
Hani choked on air, gasping and dramatically fanning herself.Â
âI donât know who youâre talking aboutââ
âIf you go get your girl, Iâll get my man.â you proposed.
Half of you thought she wouldnât do it, while the other half just wanted her and Miju to stop messing around and just hook up at once. You were pleasantly surprised as Hani whispered âhere goes nothingâ and marched up to Miju, pulling her by the back of the neck and kissing her smack dab on the lips.Â
Well. Now you had to do something.Â
You tried to be as confident as your friend as you walked up to Yoongi, gently holding his wrist to get his attention.
âOh my god, Yn?â Saran was saying, but your eyes didnât leave the man. âItâs so good toââ
âCome with me?â you asked Yoongi, ignoring your sworn enemy, and he nodded.Â
Leaving the girl behind, he let you pull him through the sports center and out of the building.Â
The outside was dark and cold. Yoongi immediately removed his jacket and placed it over your shoulders to keep you warm. You walked a bit to get away from the entrance door, to where it was quieter.Â
âI hope I didnât interrupt anything.â you started, feigning nonchalance. âWhen I pulled you away from Saran.â
âNah. She was just telling me about her wedding last month.â Yoongi shrugged.
âOh.â you blinked, suddenly feeling more than a little shame. âSheâs married? Huh⊠Well, I mean, thatâs goodââ
Yoongi chuckled, arms pulling you to him so youâd stop walking away. He turned you around, backing you up slowly until your back hit the hard wall behind you, knocking the air from your lungs.Â
âYouâre so cute when youâre jealous.â one of his hands rested on the wall next to your head, caging you in, the other touched your waist; cold fingers directly on the strip of skin between your top and your skirt.Â
ââm not jealousââ
Yoongiâs head dipped to your neck, warm breath spreading goosebumps all over you.Â
âMm. And you also didnât want to kiss me at midnight.â his lips ghosted over the column of your throat, your hands resting on his chest but never pushing him away. âOr right now.â
âI donât.â you did.Â
Yoongiâs lips traveled up your neck, barely touching your skin, following a slow path to your jaw. His hand slipped to your back, pulling your body flush against his. You had to bite your lip to stop any sounds from coming out.Â
âYou could never lie to me.â his tone was raspy and low, awakening every part of your soul.Â
You were blinking slowly as Yoongi pulled away to look at you, hand leaving the wall to cup the side of your face. Your eyes closed when he leaned in, you could almost feel his lips on yours, so you chased after them. But Yoongi pulled away at the last second to watch you, a teasing grin making your insides flip.Â
âYoongiâŠâ
Your voice sounded like a whine, hands holding onto his shirt. Yoongiâs nose bumped against yours and your bottom lip pushed out on a pout.Â
His thumb caressed your cheek bone and his soft smile was the last thing you saw before his lips took your bottom one, sucking it into his mouth and letting it slip out with a wet pop.Â
At your small gasp, Yoongiâs lips clashed against yours, completely taking your breath away in the process.Â
You had kissed Yoongi once before, in this almost exact spot; he was your first kiss and you were his. But this felt so different, so much more, in every way. Tonight your kiss wasnât awkward, but purposeful. It also helped that you both knew what you were doing.Â
Your arms circled his neck as his tongue swiped at your bottom lip, mouth opening wider to give him access. Yoongi licked into your mouth, tongue running smoothly over yours, lips moving slowly and in sync. His hand slipped to the back of your neck to tilt your head so he could deepen the kiss; a small moan bubbling from your throat and into his.Â
âFuck, I always wanted to kiss you like that.â Yoongi confessed as an afterthought.Â
⥠Pairing: boyfriend!bangchan x chubby!fem!reader
⥠Genre: fluff/smut/the tiniest bit of angst
⥠Summary: When your boyfriend comes to you upset that you never post pictures of the two of you together, he can't figure out if it's simply that you're shy or unsure about the two of you. The truth, that it's your own insecurity keeping you from taking the big step, is one you've been too scared to share but opening up turns out to be the best thing you could've ever done.
⥠Word Count: 4.9k
⥠Warnings: reader has some body insecurities, lots of praise, kissing, leaving hickeys, fingering, multiple orgasms, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, pet names (baby, good girl).
⥠A/N: Hello, my darlings. This is a fic that I wrote for my dear, sweet anon for their birthday. They wanted some Channie body worship so here we are. I'm sorry this took me a bit to get done my love but I hope this is comforting for you (for anyone out there feeling insecure about themselves really). Anyway, love you all. You're all baddies and never forget it!
âWe need to talk.â
Your stomach sank when the text came through from your boyfriend. You shouldâve seen it coming. Chanâs barely texted you today. When he has its been something short and basic, void of all the affection he so freely spoils you with on any other day.
âSure. Come to my place?â
You shot a text back and clung to your phone, heart thumping as you watched those three little dots appear on the screen. TypingâŠtypingâŠtypingâŠ
âOk.â
Thatâs it? Thatâs all? No, âI canât wait to see you, baby.â No, âI missed you today.â What could you have possibly done to make him so distant? Not knowing eats you up inside.
Last night everything seemed so perfect. It was your birthday and Chan surprised you with dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in the city. Weâre talking one of those places where you have to make a reservation months in advance or thereâs zero chance of getting a table. He even put in the effort to invite your closest friends. Not to mention the gifts he showered you with at the end of the night. He seized every opportunity to show you how much he adored you. How much you meant to him. You couldnât have felt more loved and you spent every second reminding him how mutual the feeling was.Â
In the hour since he sent his last text youâve run through the past 24 hours over and over, combing through every interaction in search of an answer. Only thereâs nothing there. All you can find are fuzzy memories of him cuddling you as you slept. Your skin still tingles in all the places he kissed before he said goodbye this morning. His baggy black hoodie is as warm as the moment he put it on you, telling you to hold onto it so he had an excuse to come back tonight. It smells like him. Feels like him. Comforting and secure.Â
Curled up on your couch, you take a deep breath, steadying your nerves. Maybe itâs nothing. Thereâs a chance this isnât about you at all but you canât relax until you know for sure. Luckily, you donât have to wait for long. A knock at the door pulls you out of your head and you jump to your feet, eager to get this over with.Â
You pause before opening the door, forcing a smile that you hope will ease the blow of whateverâs about to come your way.
âHeyâ you say, inching the door open with the shyness of a girl whoâs meeting her crush for the first time.
Laying eyes on him instantly transforms your forced smile into something more genuine. Suddenly it doesnât matter why heâs here, only that he is. He looks so handsome with his platinum blonde hair pulled back from his face, tied up in one of those messy ponytails he throws it in when heâs in a rush. You can tell heâs just come from the gym. If the track pants and the hoodie werenât a dead giveaway, the backpack tossed over his shoulder is.
He wasnât even supposed to go to the gym. He swore heâd take the next few days off, let himself rest and recover, but he couldnât with so much on his mind. The cardio. The weights. The boxing. It's an escape in a way. You know this because he confessed it to you in one of many late night cuddle sessions. And just like that youâre back to wondering what all of this is about.Â
Chan steps inside with a quiet yet polite, âHey.â
Heâs smiling back at you. Itâs soft, easy to miss if you arenât looking for it, but itâs there. Strangely, he doesnât seem angry like youâd expected. Instead, when you close the door and turn to face him, thereâs a sadness in his eyes that you havenât seen before.
âSoâŠâ you sigh, resting your back against the door, âYou said you needed to talk.â
Shrugging his backpack onto the floor, Chan lets out a nervous laugh. âWeâre getting right to it then.â
âWell, yeah, why shouldnât we? You donât talk to me all day and when you do itâs two word responses then you say we need to talk andâŠâ
Youâre rambling. Every word more emotional than the next. Heâs the one who asked to talk but somehow youâre the one coming apart here.
âIâm sorryâ he says before you can finish, âThat was really stupid of me. I just saw something and it hurt my feelings and I didnât know how toâŠI couldnât really find the words to say it.â
âHurt your feelings? Did I do something?â you ask, sick at the thought of it.
Chan digs into his pocket, pulling his phone out. For a few seconds he scrolls in silence before handing you his phone. Itâs your Instagram post from last night. A picture of you and two of your best friends smiling. No matter how hard you try to find something, nothing seems particularly off about the photo.Â
âAm I supposed to see something?â
He swipes through the pictures for you, one after the other, but the fact remains that you see nothing wrong. Itâs just drinking. Making silly faces. Blowing out the candles on your cake. Posing outside of the restaurant. You and your friends. You and your friends. You and your friends.
âAll these pictures and not one of usâ he says, the sadness evident in his voice.Â
The realization hits you like a freight train. Heâs right. Chan scrolls to another post. The day you two went to the museum last month. Breathtaking photos of art flash on the screen followed by a picture of you beside a marble statute of the goddess Aphropdite. Thereâs pictures of the architecture. The breakfast you had. The tabby cat you ran into at the cafe. And not a single one of you two together.
âItâs like this every single time. I didnât question it at first cause things were new with us and I thought maybe you were shy about posting us but itâll be, what? A year next month? I know it sounds really petty and immature but it really fucks with me.â
Itâs Chanâs turn to ramble and you canât even be mad at him for doing it. He has every right to feel the way that he does. Whatâs worse is that the very thing youâve done to hurt him was something you did on purpose. Not to damage him but to protect yourself. To shield your own insecurities. To take away the worldâs chance to say what you fear they must be thinking when they see the two of you together. Whatâs he doing with her?
âIâm sorry.â Your apology comes without hesitation. Why would you hold back when he deserves it? âIâm just scared.â
Your voice cracks with that admission, buried feelings rising to the surface. Closing the phone, you hand it back to him, hugging yourself to feel some form of relief. The last thing you want to do is make this all about you but you canât help the tears welling up in your eyes.Â
Chan puts the phone away, his own feelings pushed to the back of his mind at the sight of you on the brink of tears. Closing his arms around you, he brings you in for a hug better than any you could ever give yourself and you melt into it. You hang your head, shoulders slumped, and he tucks a finger under the softness of your chin, tilting your head to meet his gaze.
âScared of what, baby? Talk to me.â
Staring into his eyes you find only love and acceptance. The soul of a man willing to understand if you could just trust him with your fears. That part of him has always been here, he never gave you a reason to doubt it, but the time never felt right to be honest. To come out and lay your insecurities bare. But if not now, then when?
âSometimes when weâre out together people look at usâŠâ you start, a tear escaping your eye. Chan wipes it away as it rounds the curve of your cheek, the sensation of his thumb brushing your skin soothing you enough to continue. âMaybe you donât notice but I do. They donât say anything but I know itâs because they see someone like you with someone like me.â
Chan tries to understand, you can almost see the cogs in his brain turning. âSomeone like you?â
âFat!â you blurt out, prying yourself out of his arms. âIâm fat, Channie. Fat with a belly and back rolls and everything else that comes with being a big girl. Meanwhile, youâre, like, 10% body fat and I know people wonder what the hell youâre doing with me. So, no, I donât post pictures of us together but itâs not cause I donât want to. Itâs cause I know people will point out everything you should hate about my body and Iâm afraid that once they do, maybe you will too.â
Tears stream down your cheeks and you catch them with the sleeves of your hoodie, wiping them away as quickly as they fall. Emotions flicker across Chanâs face too quickly to pin down. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. Empathy. He reaches for your hand but you pull away, your back hitting the door as you place as much distance between the two of you as possible.
Youâve just run down a list of your insecurities to him. Thereâs a spotlight on every little flaw youâve prayed would stay hidden. The last thing he must want to do is touch you. Itâs just sympathy, thatâs all, and you donât want it.Â
Closing in on you, Chan takes you by the hands, fingers laced between yours. Thereâs something you missed when you were searching his expression. An emotion you were too hurt to see. Which is strange because itâs the most prominent one. Adoration.
âHas it ever crossed your mind that maybe people are staring at you because youâre beautiful?â he asks, resting his forehead against yours. âThatâs why I stare at you all the time. Cause youâre the prettiest girl Iâve ever seen and itâs not just your face Iâm talking about. Your bodyâŠâ He grabs you by the waist, fingertips sinking into the softness of your hips. âThereâs nothing I donât love about it. Nothing anyone else says can change that. Iâm proud that youâre mine. That all of this is mine.â
Your breath catches as his hands disappear beneath your hoodie. The coolness of his palms makes you tremble but itâs so much more than that. He squeezes your sides, thumbs lovingly brushing your belly, quietly telling you that itâs safe to relax.
That little voice in the back of your mind saying to suck your stomach in? For the first time you dare to ignore it and Chan doesnât look at you in disgust. Instead, he kisses you. Slowly. Deliberately. His tongue pushes beyond your lips, gently swirling around the space between your cheeks, tasting the sugary remnants of the bubblegum you chewed earlier.Â
Tracing the contours of your body, his hands venture higher, fingertips dancing over the rolls you so desperately try to hide from the world. Even him. Chanâs always known there was something different about you. How you always wanted the lights off during sex. How you never let him touch you for too long. Never took your shirt all the way off, even in the heat of the moment. You always seemed so confident, so sure of yourself, that he never imagined you could doubt how badly he wants you. But now that he knows?
âCome to bedâ he whispers, trailing kisses along your cheek. His lips graze your ear sending tiny sparks of electricity dancing across your skin. âWanna remind you how perfect you are.â
His breath skims your neck, every invisible hair standing on end as he latches onto your pulse point, suckling at your skin. The moan you let out is involuntary. Unavoidable. If one thing has always been true itâs that Chan knows precisely how to touch you and youâre forever helpless to it. You could stay like this all day. Pressed against the door. Chan marking you with his mouth. The heat between you growing with each passing second.Â
âChannieâŠâ you gasp as his thumbs round your breasts, teasing your nipples.
They tighten beneath his touch, growing more sensitive with every light circle he makes around your buds. You could get whiplash from how quickly youâve gone from crying to soaking through the delicate cotton of your panties. Your clitâs throbbing, walls clenching around nothing.Â
Chan grinds into you, his clothed cock pressing into your thigh. âI need you. Now.âÂ
His mouth is back at yours before you can even think to respond and heâs ravenous, tearing at your shorts as he guides you towards your bedroom. He kisses you like his life depends on it. Like he needs the taste of you to survive. Grabbing onto his hoodie, you tug it over his head, forcing your lips apart but heâs back on you in an instant, fingers knotted in your panties as he rips them down.
âAah!â you scream from the force of him pulling them down, âA little rough, arenât we?â
âI said I needed youâ he pants, eyes blazing with lust, âDid you think I was joking?âÂ
Chan pulls your hoodie off and his shirt goes next. His shoes. His pants. His boxers. Everything falls away until thereâs nothing left but your naked bodies, intertwined as you stumble blindly through the threshold of your bedroom. The back of your legs knock into the edge of the bed and you hook your arms around his shoulders, expecting him to come down with you. Instead, Chan resists the pull of your weight and when your back hits the mattress youâre all alone.Â
âLay back for me.â
You pout, arms defensively covering your front. Being naked in the heat of the moment when his eyes are closed and his tongueâs down your throat? Light work. Being naked when heâs staring down at you, scoping out all the finer details of your body? Thatâs a different story.
 âYou want me to lay back?âÂ
Chan leans over you, muscular arms caging you in on both sides. Instinctively you spread your legs, giving him all the room he needs to slide his cock through the slickness of your pussy. You yelp at the contact, tension coiling in your stomach. A wicked grin spreads across his lips at the precious sound you make.Â
âYou never let me look at you. Not reallyâŠâ he says, sinking his hips down to rub your clit with his length. âSo lay back. Let me see you. I need to map out every spot I wanna kiss before I make love to you.âÂ
Pleasure ripples through you, consuming your body. Destroying your defenses.Â
âIâŠuhâŠokayâ you stutter.Â
Chan peels your arms away from your body, drawing a teasing line across your bellyâŠbetween your breastsâŠalong your neck. Pinching your chin, he parts your lips, coaxing a kiss out of you before pushing himself up on his knees.Â
âGood girl. Now back you go.â
Good girl? Two simple words send the tingling between your thighs into overdrive. Your nipples stiffen even more, desperate to be one of the spots his tongue graces tonight. Your clit twitches, walls fluttering in anticipation. Every part of you craves him.Â
Chan gestures for you to move back and, little by little, you ease yourself up the bed. His eyes never leave you as you do, tracing your figure like a gentle caress.Â
âRight thereâ he says when your head meets the plush comfort of your pillow.Â
And then he stares at you. He says nothing. Does nothing besides take pleasure in watching you squirm like the shy little creature that you are. How long is he gonna make you do this? Can he even fathom how intimidating this is for you? Thereâs him. A man with a body molded by the goddesses, every muscle carved with blessed intent. Then thereâs you. The girl with the soft sides and the jiggly belly. The girl whose thighs kiss each other when she walks. His gaze lingers on you for a long while, scanning every curve, doubling back to make sure nothingâs been missed.Â
âYouâre perfectâ he sighs lovingly, chewing at his bottom lip.Â
His profession sends heat rushing to your cheeks and you smile, battling the urge to cover yourself again. âIâm not. Youâre just saying that.â
âIâm just saying that? Really?â he asks, the playfulness on his face shifting to something darker. Itâs too soon to tell if itâs the kind of darkness you wanna run away from or towards. âGuess Iâll have to show you then.â
Strong hands clamp down around your ankles and in the blink of an eye your legs are in the air. He kisses your inner ankle, the left then the right. All the while moving closer, pausing to kiss your inner knee. In the most innocent way it tickles. In a way that isnât innocent at all itâs feeding the flames of the fire growing within you, making you hotter and wetter.Â
âI donât think Iâve ever told you how much I love how soft you are.â He rubs his hands up your legs, stopping to indulge in the pillowy flesh of your thighs. Licking his way along your inner thigh, he brings his mouth right to your center, ghosting your clit with the tip of his tongue. You moan, hips wiggling for more, but he pulls his mouth away, turning to kiss your other thigh. âThis is gonna make me sound like a total weirdo but before we even started dating I justâŠI wanted to touch youâ he confesses, nipping at your skin. âI needed to know if you felt as good as you looked.âÂ
âDo I?â you ask, blurting out the question before you can stop yourself.Â
Chan quirks his head, glancing up at you, âNo. Not as good. Better.â
Spreading your legs wider, he pins your thighs to the bed, fully exposing your wet pussy to the cool air of the room. âIn case you were wonderingâ he whispers, bringing his tongue back to your clit, âYou taste pretty good too.â
His lips close around your clit, tongue flicking at the sensitive bundle of nerves. The shock leaves your body trembling, struggling to adjust to the stimulation. His satisfied hums send vibrations to your core, making it that much harder to keep yourself still. Of course, Chan doesnât mind when you move around like this. Actually, he prefers it. It makes your tits jiggle. Your belly. Your thighs too. For the first time he can watch you and truly see it. His mouth may be occupied lapping up the arousal between your delicate pussy lips but his eyes are glued on the rest of your body.Â
âI wish you could see yourself how I see youâ he rasps, his mouth letting up on you solely to give his fingers the space they need to stroke your slit, âYouâd be just as fucking obsessed as I am.â
âOh my god!â you moan as he pushes two fingers into you, knuckles flush against your entrance.Â
Chan laughs, more than proud of himself for garnering that type of reaction. Youâd be mortified if you had any time to be but his tongueâs already back at your clit, fingers locked onto that magical spot inside of you. Thereâs no time to be insecure when youâre being devoured like this. Any space your insecurities might have to creep in is currently occupied by desire. Yours. His. Whatâs shared between you. The intensity of it is enough to make your head spin.Â
Chanâs seen youâall of youâand itâs only made him want you more. Throbbing in the space between his body and the mattress, his cock aches for you, envious of his fingers. Youâre wrapped around them like warm velvet, your juices dripping down his palm. The tip of a third finger nudges your entrance and you whine, hips sinking down to take it only for him to pull it away.
âYou want it?â he teases, using it to pet your slit.Â
With his other two fingers still toying with your sweet spot, youâre a mess of moans, barely able to speak. âMmhmmâ you hum, back arching as he flicks his wrist at a new, unforgiving angle.Â
âThen tell me how pretty you are.â
Panic mixes with pleasure. You want himâwant moreâbut how can he expect you to say something like that? Something youâve never even thought to say a day in your life.Â
âTell meâ he repeats, more demanding this time. He slows his movements, cheek resting against your thigh. âTell me how pretty you are or I'll stop.â
If your boyfriendâs one thing, a liar isnât it. When he says something he means it. Heâs stubborn enough to stop, even if it tortures him too.Â
âIâmâŠpretty?â
You piece the two words together despite your discomfort and he rewards you by pushing his third finger in the slightest bit. You grip the sheets, eyes rolling back from the stretch.Â
Chan kisses your clit, spreading you open, âAww, baby. You can do better than that.âÂ
âIâm prettyâ you moan. To your surprise, it feels more natural this time. âIâm so pretty. SoâŠsoâŠprettyâŠaah.â
Waves of ecstasy wash over you, words falling apart on your tongue as he slams his fingers in and out of you. His tongue works your clit with reckless abandon. Itâs something you canât brace yourself for. You just surrender to it. To the fullness. To the stretch. To the wet, messy sounds his mouth makes slurping at your pussy.Â
Your hips rise up off of the bed, thighs threatening to lock around his head. It only drives his desire for you. You sound so good screaming and whining while you clench around his fingers. Youâre getting close. He can tell by the way youâre shaking. If he has to let you suffocate him in the process then so be it. Chan couldnât imagine a nobler death.Â
âChannieâŠâ you cry out, pushing his head back. Well, trying to. âWaitâŠwaitâŠplease.â
Your heart races. The fire he started within you is eating you up from the inside. You just need a minute. A breath. Anything to stop you from crashing over the edge but your desperate pleas fall on deaf ears. Chan pushes you further. Higher. So far beyond your limits that youâre unraveling before you know what hit you. Your body goes limp, your moans turning into weak, broken little noises. Slipping his drenched fingers out of you, he grabs you by the waist, leaning up to decorate your stomach in tender, wet kisses.Â
âItâs so hard to choose,â he says, breathless between each kiss.
Your mindâs floating off somewhere distant, barely on earth, but his voice brings you back. âChoose? Choose what?â
Chan kisses up your side, his lips light against your skin. âMy favorite part of you. I thought I could choose but a body like this doesnât make it easy for me.â A path of kisses leads him over the soft hill of your breast and he licks your nipple, making you squirm beneath the weight of him. âIs it wrong if I pick all of you? Can I do that?â
This feels like heaven. Your body being the direct object of his admiration. And you, for once, not telling yourself that you shouldnât be. âYou can do whatever you want. I wonât stop you.â
âWhatever I want?â he asks, bringing himself face to face with you for the first time in what feels like an eternity. âBut what do you want?â
Strands of platinum hair stick to his face. His cheeks are flushed and your juices still glisten on his chin. Heâs never looked prettier. You can feel the swollen tip of his cock pressing at your slit and you wrap your legs around him, stretching yourself around it.Â
Cupping his face, you cradle his cheeks in your palms. âI want you to shut up and make love to me.â
âAnything for youâ he smiles and with a single thrust of his hips he has you seeing stars.
Chanâs wish that you could see yourself through his eyes has never been stronger than this moment. If you could only see how beautiful you are with your glossy eyes and parted lips, taking him so well. Your moans are like a siren song. Itâs hypnotizing, tying him to you. What you doubt about yourself he loves beyond anything his words could describe so he kisses you. His tongue dances with yours as he pulls out, slamming back into you to bottom out again.
The shockwaves from each stroke gives you chills. Itâs pure bliss. So sweet you can taste it. Being this vulnerable with him heightens your every sense. You lose yourself in the scent of his cologne. A mixture of jasmine and sage that has you wanting to bury your face in his neck just to breathe him in. The friction between the sculpted hardness of his body and the sensual plushness of yours sends sparks skating up your spine.Â
This is much more than fucking. It always is with Chan but this time just feels different. He isnât just filling you with his cock, heâs worshipping you with it. Making sure you know that every twitch of his cockâevery pulsing vein, every bit of his precum slicking your wallsâis all for you. Because of you.Â
Tucking his hands behind your knees, he pushes them towards your chest, pressing himself deeper and deeper. Your legs are shaking, pussy quivering around his cock. Juices dripping down your ass, soaking your freshly washed blanket. You want to scream his nameâscream somethingâbut all that comes out are short, jagged breaths.
âNext time you feel insecure I want you to remember this, yeah?â
Chan doesnât give you time to respond. Could you even string a sentence together if he gave you the chance? The next thrust comes hard and slow. He repeats the rhythm. Giving you everything. Taking it all away. Giving it back again. Itâs rough yet tender. Loving yet unforgiving. Is this pleasure or punishment? Something in between? Thereâs simply no way youâll ever forget how perfect this feels. Completely at his mercy. Drowning in his desireâŠin his longing.Â
His teeth scrape along your neck, nibbling at you. Marking you. âYouâre clenching so tight, baby. Show me how cute you are when you come. My perfect girlâŠâ
His voice trails off, whispering praises. Some muffled. Some clear. All of them meant for you and only you. He pours them into you and you drink them down to the last drop, nails digging into the muscles of his back as the world comes crashing down around you. He asked for cute but cute isnât the word for what you are. Youâre ethereal. One look at you and he loses all control. Pressure warms your lower belly, your orgasm wrecking you as his release floods your walls.Â
Chan slips his arms around you, taking you with him as he rolls onto his back. He holds you close to his chest, his cock still nestled within you as you ride out your high. When your bodies are finally still youâre sticky and sweaty, totally out of breath, and somehow you feel sexier than you ever have. Straddling his lap, you sit up, his arms still secure around your waist. Somewhere between making you come and rolling over, his hair tie slipped out, leaving a mess of hair in his face. You push it back, smoothing away the wayward strands.Â
âThank youâ you say, fingertips tracing the sharp lines of his jaw.Â
âThank me?â he frowns, bouncing you in his lap, âFor what?â
Still sensitive from your orgasm, you nearly collapse from the impact. âChan, stop itâ you giggle, hands pressed to his abs to keep him in place, âIâm being serious. I wanna thank you cause you make me feel likeâŠlike Iâm beautiful.â
Chan rolls his eyes at you as if youâve said the most obvious thing in the world. âBecause you are. Duh.â
âYou know what? I take it back. Weâre done hereâ you pout, moving to get out of his lap.Â
He wonât have it. Heâs dragging you down into his arms before you can lift a finger. You put up a fight, only enough to be able to say that you did. Being held by him feels too good to pretend thereâs anywhere else youâd rather be.Â
âDonât ever thank me for something like thatâ he says, kissing you on the cheek, âYouâre perfect and Iâll remind you every day for the rest of our lives if I have to.â
Closing your eyes, you cuddle up to him without a doubt in your mind that he means what he says. Heâll tell you until heâs blue in the face. Heâll say it as many times as he has to in as many languages as he knows. But you donât need any of that. This was enough. He is enough. And you know now, without question, that you are too.Â
Today weâre going to be doing something special. Iâve had this idea for a while and finally decided to give it a try. What is it you might ask?
He pauses and watches the comments roll in
All youâll need to do⊠is just follow my instructions. Whatever I say to do, you do. Am I clear?
He watches as the chat fills with âyes sirâ and other horny comments. He smirks under his mask.
Good. Now letâs get started. Strip now!
After giving the command he strips his shirt. His well defined body encompasses the screen.
Weâre gonna take this slow first. Let your hands graze your body but donât even think about touching that pussy yet. Just relax and let your hands wander. Imagine itâs me whoâs caressing you. Feeling the curve of your neck to your shoulders, the swell of your breasts, the softness of your tummy, the thickness of your thighs. Just let me take care of you.
jinxmepls: youâre so hot
i<3jinx: Jinx pls
I bet your body is starting to heat up with arousal thinking about my hands all over you. Silently begging me to touch you where you need it most.
jinxBB: I need you so bad
Awww you need me? I bet youâre dripping for me already, huh? Arenât you?
Lots of âyes sirâ and other confirming comments fill the chat.
I guess Iâll stop being a tease then. Go ahead baby. Touch yourself for me. Go nice and slow. Tease yourself.
He starts to slide his hand down towards his hardening member. Stoking himself over his sweats.
Youâre so good for me. Go a little faster.
He pulls his sweats down enough for his cock to be exposed. Leaking a little against his lower stomach. He spreads it around and groans at the feeling.
Just keep imagining me playing with your pretty pussy. Thatâs it.
He begins to pick up the speed of his stokes.
Follow my speed. Let me take control of you.
The rest of the time he spends praise as he gets close to the edge.
I bet youâre close. Letâs cum together. On the count of threeâŠ1âŠ2~ fuck 3, cum for me baby.
He releases into his abs with a deep groan and more praises as he caught his breath.
You did so good for me. I should do this more often. Thatâs it for today. I hope to see you all again on Wednesday. Goodnight my naughty little pervs.
[offline]
Switch to Chaos Crew
Mars posted at 10:30pm
Chaos crew group chat (approx. 10:45pm)
âșïž [Live Now] 11pm {Warning: MxM, pet play, oral (m receiving), nicknames (master, kitty, pretty) praise, swallowing, referring to cum as milk (I apologize in advance đ„Č) }
Welcome back my pets. I hope youâve been good. And for those that are new here, I am your master now and you will refer to me as such.
He waits as the chat floods with âhi masterâ and âIâve missed you masterâ and other comments like it.
Iâve missed all my little pets as well. Iâm in a pretty stressed mood and need to relieve some of it. So today I have my pretty kitty here to help. Say hi kitty.
Kitty steps into frame. Heâs wearing a purple leather collar with a little gold bell, dark gray cat ears and a matching harness that accentuate his chest. Once fulling in frame, he lays his head onto Marsâ thigh.
Always such a good kitty. Arenât you baby?
He nods and nuzzles into his thigh at the praise.
Open for me pretty.
He opens his mouth and allows Mars to slide two fingers in. He sucks on the fingers with vigor.
Good Kitty
Mars looks up at the comments coming in.
Youâre getting so much praise kitty. Everyone wishes they were you right now.
He whines around the fingers in his mouth. He wanted more.
Mars sensed this and removed his fingers. He goes to reach for the button of his pants. Once he was exposed, kitty tries to go for it but Mars stops him.
Ah ah kitty, be patient. You were such a kitty earlier. Donât ruin it now.
He whines but obeys. He pulls back and waits for Marsâ go ahead. He strokes himself and kitty watches his every move. Once he was done teasing he gives the ok.
Go on kitty. Get your milk.
Kitty pounces onto Mars, taking him deep into his throat. Not wasting any time.
Fuck~ good kitty
Kitty continues sucking like itâs the last thing on earth to keep him alive. Making sure to please his master.
Keep going kitty, Iâm getting close
Kitty increases his efforts to get what heâs been wanting⊠craving.
Not too long after, kitty feels a warm sensation and moans around his masterâs cock. Eyes rolling back in pleasure. But it wasnât enough.
More
Kitty begs with pleading eyes
Aww you want more kitty? So greedy today. Should I give him more?
He turns to the camera
punishmemaster: yes please oh god yes give him more
no1likemymaster: heâs such a good kitty give him his milk đ
Well the pets have spoken. Go ahead pretty.
Now what do you say when master gives you his milk?
He asks as he wipes some stray âmilkâ from the corner of kittyâs mouth
Thank you master
Good kitty
He then turns back to the camera
Alright now leave me. Youâve satisfied your master.
This is going to get really long but if you are a fanfic writer that uses google docs, it's so important that you read this as it affects you
If you haven't been aware about the previous discussion going around regarding google docs and what's been going on for about the last year now, let me recap it really fast: their shitty ai has *allegedly* (i mean we pretty much know but just to be safe) been scraping your work for ai training purposes and also using ai to moderate the content you are writing in docs - meaning that if it finds anything it doesn't approve of, like violence or sexual content, your docs will be deleted or locked for breaking policy, even if it's not.
Since July, Iâve only noticed the moderation affecting a few users here and there, but over the last couple of days my social feeds have shown me several fanfic writers from multiple fandoms posting about how their backup fic docs or works in progress docs are being deleted without warning or any kind of notice.
The screenshot above (via this tiktok) is from a couple hours ago & sadly that writer lost pretty much their entire collection of fics, and unfortunately they are not the only person this has happened to.
The purge that is happening right now seems to be SPECIFICALLY TARGETING FANFICS and (so far) not any other docs or novels in progress. But itâs a mass deletion, not just one or two doc like before.
IF YOU USE GOOGLE DOCS TO WRITE OR GOOGLE DRIVE TO BACK UP FICS: please please pleaseeeee start downloading your work before you lose it for good.
This is not meant to cause panic, but I heavily consider it time sensitive as I would just really hate for this to happen to anyone here or anywhere else. Check to see if you are missing any wips or if your docs are locked.
If you need help figuring out how to download your work, or need ideas on where to write or store your work going forward, many of us fellow fanfic writers would be happy to share that info with you based on our writing processes. I'll share some resources below, and if you have any that i'm missing please comment them so others can look into it as well!
If this has happened to you, first of all: I'm so sorry, and secondly: please share your experience!
how/when did you notice, what did you lose, did you reach out to support, was support helpful/responsive, was your work ever recovered or did you lose everything for good?
So when I read this as a good docs/drive writer, I freaked and automatically started looking, and I can say that I am still freaking out.
None of the platforms I have found are either affordable for someone on a budget or as practical as Google Docs.
I have started using Ellipsus, but there are so many limitations and things it does that frustrate me, even when I open a story, so I don't know if it is worth it.
Scrivener won't load in any of my documents, even though it says it can.
Notion seems to be more like an online planner and not a writing tool, evernote has always sucks, focuswriter doesn't have half the things google docs does, and a lot of the other platforms that populate when you ask for "writing platforms" are things like grammarly or platforms that want $30-90 a month subscripts to be anywhere close to what you want to use and as a stuggling individual who is writing for fun and not really getting an 'min wage income' for the stories... its not worth the change over.
I think for now I am gonna stick to Google Docs/Drive and maybe save my chapters as I finish them in Ellipsus or on a regular Word doc on my laptop and save it to the cloud or something.
For those who can use those without issue, that is amazing, and I am happy for you to find what works best for you to explore your worlds and express yourself!
I bought tickets to the ATEEZ VR CONCERT and it glitched on me for 12/10 in LA at 1 pm and I had selected 12/11 at 1pm.
I work 12/10 at 2 about 40 mins away.
Now Hello82 wonât switch anything because itâs final sale with no refunds or change of dates/times but I can transfer the ticket to someone else if they want to switch days.
âJungkook is the son of the pack Alpha and therefore heir of the titel. You are an omega and utterly out of his league. This is the story of how, against all odds, you and he became true mates.â
Pairing: Alpha!Jungkook x f. omega!Reader
Genre: Werewolves!AU, childhood best friends to enemies to lovers!AU, Angst, Romance, Smut
Warnings: This story contains ABO dynamics, cursing and angsty themes, as well as topics of abusive parents, illegal omega trading and very sexually explicit scenes. Also, it includes Jungkook as a protective, strong Alpha which is the most lethal warning tbfh. If you are sensitive to such topics, I advise you read with care.
Chapter Count: 3/3 â
a/n: I decided to make a chapter index for Alpha!Kook because his universe is growing and we need a place for all of his stories. I don't want to talk about how hot he is in the header because I won't say anything decent tbfh
The Beginning - Alpha
âJungkook is tasked by his father â current Alpha of the pack â to deliver you â an innocent omega â to your future husband, who purchased you through illegal omega trading offers and who is known to publicly torture omegas for sport. Problem is, you and he are former childhood best friends with too much tension to work through and Jungkook canât stand his fatherâs disgusting business methods.â
Genre:Â Werewolves!AU, childhood best friends to enemies to lovers!AU, Angsty Romance, Smut
The Wedding - Bonded
âYou didnât think that having Jungkook save you from an abusive arranged marriage by marking you would mean that you would have to marry him instead. Yet here you are. Bonded to him for life, with his father threatening to ban you if you fuck it up and with your marriage night one step away. It wouldnât be that scary if you werenât aware that his family doesnât bond with omegas.â
Genre: Werewolves!AU, forced marriage!AU, childhood best friends to lovers!AU, marriage night!AU, Angst, Romance, Smut
The Marriage - Scents
âLife as Jungkookâs mate is everything you ever dreamed of. He is there for you, he keeps you safe, fulfills all your wishes and fucks you to complete satisfaction. Life as your mate is, well, itâs how Jungkook always imagined having a home feels like. Because his life as his fatherâs son isnât easy, but with you by his side, it finally doesnât hurt anymore. When one night, Jungkook comes home feeling like shit because of his father, you decide to show him that he can always count on you to be his comfort and his distraction.â
Genre: Werewolf!AU, True Mates!AU, Married Life!AU, Angst, Hurt & Comfort, Fluff, Smut
I really fucking miss him too đ I'm glad to hear that he can still brighten your week heheh đ„șđđ I hope that you are doing well my pookie đ
ⶠPairing: boyfriend!hyunjin x chubby!fem!reader
ⶠGenre: fluff/smut/fantasy au
ⶠSummary: Today's your birthday and your boyfriend's spared no expense making sure you get everything your heart desires but at the end of the night he reveals a request of his own. It seems simple really, just play a VR game with him, but there's more to it than that. He has plans for you far beyond your iexpectations and they'll make for a birthday you'll never forget.
ⶠWord Count: 4k
ⶠWarnings: hyunjin adores you, pet names (baby/princess), kissing, praise, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), sex pollen/aphrodisiac, unprotected sex, rough sex, creampie, double penetration (both dicks are indeed his), anal penetration, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, forced orgasm, squirting, a lil nipple play, but otherwise sweet.
ⶠA/N: Hello my darlings. As you can tell, ya girl is on a very specific vibe. Too many fantasy novels. Too many episodes of Black Mirror. I wrote this fic as a birthday gift to @thisstormofmine! I know this took me a little bit so it's your belated birthday now but thank you for being so patient! I tried to do something unique with this so you didn't have just some typical birthday smut so I hope you like it! I hope you all like it of course. Love yous.
âA video game? My last surprise of the night isâŠa video game?â
Staring at the screen flashing to life on your bedroom TV, you try to manage your tone, realizing a little too late how unenthusiastic you sound. Coming off as ungrateful is the last thing you want to do. Todayâs your birthday and your boyfriendâs gone to great lengths to make sure you had everything your heart desired.
You woke up to the warmest cuddles a girl could ask for and a homemade breakfast that tasted like a dream. Your closet was overflowing with every item heâs even caught you glancing at over the last few months. You went where you wanted, ate what you wanted, got what you wanted, and all heâs asked of you is this one thing.Â
âCome on, itâll be funâ Hyunjin promises, patting the empty spot beside him at the foot of the bed.Â
Shuffling over to his side, you cozy up next to him, resting your chin on his shoulder. âGenesis: Beyond Eternity? Whatâs it about?â
Hyunjin kisses you on the forehead, pulling a small black box from his pocket. âIt wouldnât be a surprise if I told you, now would it?â
He flips the box open, revealing two circular white pieces similar to a set of contacts. He taps them with his thumbs and a thin inner circle flashes electric blue irises across the surface. Youâve seen these before when heâs played with his friends but youâve never tried one on yourself. Something always seemed too freaky about it. Too apart from reality and too much like it all at the same time. But thereâs a first time for everything and who better to share your first time with than the man you trust most in this world or any other?
âSoâŠâ he sighs, popping one out of the box, âThis goes on the side of your head. Right aboutâŠhere.â
You sit up straight and he carefully places it at your temple, an inch or so above your eyebrow. A light whirl catches you off guard as a chill skates down your spine. You shiver and Hyunjin grabs your hand, gently rubbing his thumb across your knuckles.Â
âItâs okay. It tingles a little at first but it wonât hurt.â
He sticks his on like itâs nothing and you watch the iris blink three times before radiating an orange hue that you assume yours must as well. An epic fantasy score triggers on the TV as the screen flashes a new message.Â
Welcome. Enter game?
âOurs are connected so we go in together and we come out togetherâ he explains, âBut I wonât put us in unless you say youâre ready.â
Ignoring the sound of your racing heart, you steady your trembling hand, and take a deep breath. Thereâs a 10 year old somewhere who probably spends hours on this thing. Thereâs no way youâre about to chicken out.Â
âIâm readyâ you nod, forcing a smile.Â
Hyunjin leans in closer to you, studying your expression. He knows youâre only telling half of the truth. You arenât truly readyâsomewhere behind that pretty smile youâre terrifiedâbut he also knows this is as ready as youâll ever be.Â
âLove youâ he whispers, kissing you so sweetly that you forget whatâs about to happen. âEnter game.â
And just like that your world is black. For a second? For an hour? Youâll never know the difference. Itâs a blinkâa long one, a short oneâand your eyes are opening again.Â
âWelcome to Genesis: Beyond Eternity. Private server 0069â an artificial female voice announces. Her voice filters in from nowhere and everywhere all at once. âEnjoy.â
âHoly shitâŠâ you gasp, eyes widening as you take in the world around you.Â
The four walls of your bedroom are gone, replaced by miles of mountain lined woods in each direction. The sky appears as real as it does in the outside world only here itâs painted a vibrant gradient of lilac and navy, stars burning a surreal golden hue. Two moons mark the sky. One close enough to dominate the space, the other far in the background.
In the distance there are towers, tall spires reaching into the clouds. Somewhere twinkling beneath are the dying lamp lights of a village settling in for the night. A mist lays over everything, obscuring your view of the world beneath the mountains that the structures rest upon.Â
As your gaze drifts inward, you take in the place where you stand. Youâre in a field of flowers. Tall, lavender tinted flowers with a rim of luminescent silver bordering the petals. Their trumpet shape causes them to curve up and out, its antlers rising from the center where fireflies circle. You run your fingers along their petals, breathing in the powdery, floral scent of the flowers.Â
âBeautiful arenât they?â Hyunjin asks, appearing behind you as softly as the wind.Â
âTheyâre gorgeous and they feel so realâ you marvel as your brain struggles to compute this new reality.Â
âI planted them for you. All of this is for you actually. The flowers. The mountains. The whole server is yours.â
âWait. You really did all of this for mâŠâ
You turn to glance at Hyunjin and every word you were about to speak is wiped clean from your mind. Itâs Hyunjin but not your Hyunjin. In many ways he looks the same. Same height. Same sharp, handsome features. Same bleached blonde hair framing his face. And in other ways heâs different. For one youâre positive your Hyunjin never had pointed ears or eyes that flash emerald in the moonlight.
His clothing seems regal. A deep green leather vest trimmed in gold layered above a billowing black shirt thatâs luxurious simply to look at. Matching gold armor adorns his shoulders and forearms, intricate carvings marking every inch of them. Tattoos travel along his hands, disappearing under his sleeves and peaking out at his neck. They seem to emit an energy, one that draws you to him in a way youâve never felt before.Â
Placing your hands on his chest, you run your palms over the fine leather, tracing every swirl and divot. âWhoa, this is insane. So youâre like an elf or something?â
âAn elf prince actuallyâ Hyunjin smiles, flashing sharpened canines, and casually twirls a finger in the empty air. A book appears in his hand just like that. A piece of literature you know too well. Taken by the Elf Prince. âI noticed youâve been reading this for, what? The third time this month. This stuff is filthy, you know that?â
âHey!â you whine, snatching the book and holding it to your chest, âYou werenât supposed to find that.âÂ
Hyunjin pinches your cheek, tickled by your sudden shyness. âItâs okay. I think itâs cute.â he waves his hand again and the book disappears as quickly as it came. âItâs why I made this place for you. You have no idea how many orc empires Felix and I had to destroy for me to rule this kingdom.â
âWait, you killed peopleâŠfor me?â you ask, batting your eyelashes.Â
âOf course I did, my love, thousands, and Iâd do it again for youâ he says, pulling you in close. Lacing an arm around your waist, he cups your cheek, staring into your eyes with enough admiration to flood a city. âSo, do you like it?â
âLike it?â you ask, heart thrumming in your chest, âI love it. I feel like Iâm dreaming. Itâs all soâŠwait. If you have powers does that mean I have powers?â
You hop back, brimming with excitement, and wave your hand in the air, the image of your book fresh in your mind. But nothing happens. You pout, making a second attempt, and again nothing. Hyunjin watches you, an uneasy look on his face.Â
âIn your book the girl doesnât really have any powersâ he explains, âYouâre raised by faeries so you know about magic but you donât really have any. Youâre brave though and really pretty! Your dress is fortified with magic too. My magic but thatâs something isnât it?âÂ
For the first time you glance down at what youâre wearing. You feel your toes bare against the cool, soft grass so youâre positive thereâs no shoes to be found but your dress is breathtaking nonetheless. Youâre draped in gold trimmed black, the same material that makes up Hyunjinâs clothing, and gorgeous jewels adorn your fingers and wrists. You run your hands along your body, feeling how the dress clings to your shape in some places and flows in others. You canât fully see yourself yet somehow itâs the prettiest youâve ever felt.Â
âAt least the dress is pretty. Iâll give you that.â
Hyunjin quirks an eyebrow, âGood. It wonât be on for long but Iâm glad you like it.â
The smile on Hyunjinâs face is different now. Before there was a hint of innocence to it but now all traces of it have gone and thereâs something far more sensual to it. He steps towards you like an animal stalking its prey and you back away, assessing his intentions.Â
âI thought this game was about killing monsters and toppling empires" you say as his gaze rake over your body.Â
Hyunjin shrugs, shedding his armor with every step, âThereâs plenty of other things you can do in this game.â He strips his shirt off, his chest appearing all the more defined by the light of two moons, âCome here. Let me show you.âÂ
He holds his hand out to you and the instant you take it, youâre swept back into his arms. Youâve always known that you felt drawn to him in ways youâve never felt with another man. When you first started dating you worried that feeling was too intense but thatâs nothing compared to what youâre feeling in this moment.Â
His lips touch yours and with every passing second you crave him even more. Itâs like a wildfire consuming every inch of you. Your bodyâs flush, trails of heat marking you as he caresses your plush curves through your dress. That same heat pools between your thighs and you squeeze them together, desperately seeking relief. What you find instead is the realization that your darling boyfriend failed to add panties to your character design. A decision that he very much made on purpose. The friction of your soft thighs rubbing against your core makes your body arch into his, nipples stiffening behind the fabric of your dress as you moan between his lips.Â
âWhatâs happening to me?â you ask as Hyunjin kisses his way down to your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. âWhyâs everything soâŠâ
âIntense?â he laughs, one hand tugging at the strings at the back of your dress while the other rounds your ass. âItâs the flowers. Their pollenâs supposed to tap into your innermost desires and heighten your pleasure. I knew they were strong but fuck I need you.âÂ
Youâve seen your boyfriend horny before but heâs never gotten like this. Thereâs something primal about him. How he nibbles at your skin and claws at your dress. Itâs like he wants to tear you apart and you wantâno, need him to.Â
âCan we really do that here?â you ask with bated breath, âI mean, do we really have the, er, equipment for that?â
Hyunjin tears your dress down, your breasts bouncing free as his hand dips below your waist to stroke your clit. âYou tell me.â
The stimulation sends sparks through your system and your knees nearly give out from the sheer dizzying pleasure of it. Hyunjin catches you, carefully lowering you to the lush grass below as his kisses find their way between your breasts. Your fingers tangle in his hair, knotting around the silken locks as the tip of his tongue swirls along the pillowy arch of your breast. His pouty lips close around your nipple, sucking firmly at the bud until youâre whining his name.Â
âHyunjin, aahââ
âYou sound so pretty when you say my name, princess. Say it againâ he coos, dragging his hand down your belly, along your thighs.
Your legs part for him instinctively, giving him all the room he needs to plunge two fingers into your drenched pussy. He groans in satisfaction. Youâve never been this wet before. Your inner thighs were coated before he even touched you and spreading you open with his fingers only has you dripping more.Â
âHyunjin!â you moan again, hips raising to meet the rhythm of his fingers as they slam into you, stretching your needy hole.
You quickly learn that here thereâs no target inside of you to hit. No special spot that makes the motion of his fingers feel especially good. Your sweet spot? Itâs everywhere. Itâs just a game. How can it feel so real? So insanely delicious that youâre watering at the mouth. Somehow it's tapped into you so deeply that itâs altering the chemistry of your mind, toying with every nerve, and Hyunjin knowing just how to touch your body is only making it worse.Â
âI need to taste youâŠâ he whispers against your skin, âNeed to know if you taste just as good in here as you do out there.â Hyunjin licks his way down to your core, stopping as he pleases to plant kisses at all the sweetest, softest spots on you. âYouâre so beautifulâ he praises between kisses, âSo perfect.â His need is evident in every sentence, his words lingering behind like a spell binding them to you. Itâs enough to have you on the edge of your first orgasm before his tongueâs even lapping at your clit.
Gripping your thighs, he pushes your legs back towards your stomach, replacing his fingers with a tongue that delves deeper into you than you couldâve ever imagined. âMmmâ he hums, licking up the arousal coating your walls. You taste heavenly as always and his thirst for you is insatiable. Trembling, you reach for somethingâanything to ground yourself but all thatâs there are the stems of the very flowers responsible for the rush of dopamine laying waste to your system. You hold onto them for dear life, their roots ripping from the dirt as Hyunjin ravenously fucks into you with his tongue.Â
Overstimulated, you push away from him but barely make it an inch away before heâs pulling you back. His eyes glow, silver swirling in them like marble as he waves a hand over you, and just like that youâre held in place by an invisible force too powerful to fight.
âDonât run from me, princess. Not when youâre so close.â
He plants wet kisses along your inner thighs before diving back into you with a ferocity itâs impossible to brace yourself for. His hands venture up to your breasts, kneading them as you moan and scream in his grasp, watery eyes blurring your vision of the night sky.Â
At once, his tongue seems to be all over you. Darting in and out of your core, flicking your clit, rolling between your lips all at the same time. It shatters you to pieces, spinning you into a whirlwind of ecstasy that has you gushing down his chin. Your broken cries of pleasure fill the air like a melody he never wants to forget and, even as youâre coming down from your high, he canât bear to let you stop making them.
âAgainâ he demands, giving you the opportunity to catch half a breath before heâs coaxing you towards your next orgasm.Â
If you could string together a coherent sentence you might beg him to stop. Tell him that itâs too much, that you canât take another. Instead you give into the only optionâthe only option you want there to beâsurrender. Youâre pushing the boundaries of something you donât quite understand and thereâs a thrill to it that canât be denied.
Your next orgasm sneaks up on you, washing over you before youâve even fully come down from the first. You canât quite tell if the stars in your eyes are a permanent fixture of the sky or the result of how hard youâre coming on Hyuninâs tongue. The force pinning you down releases and you twitch weakly beneath him as he drinks every last drop of you.Â
âWanna see something cool?â Hyunjin asks, rising to his feet.
Youâve just come twice back to back, sex should be the last thing on your mind, but seeing him standing over youâyour juices decorating his chest, his cock straining against the leather of his pantsâmakes you want him inside you with a desperation you can feel in your bones.Â
You tilt your head, intrigued by his offer, âSomething cool like what?â
Hyunjin stares up at the sky, a brief silence passing before heâs gazing back down at you. Your eyes light up at the sight of a shooting star streaking across the sky. In the corner of your eye another one flies by and then another until the skyâs sprinkled with them. They capture your attention long enough to distract you from the fact that Hyuninâs stripping down right in front of you but once you notice, even the stars canât tear your attention away.Â
That question you had about him possessing the equipment necessary to indulge your urges? The answerâs quite obviously a yes for both of you. Heâs all there, every beautifully veined inch of him. You want it so badly that simply watching the arousal drip from the tip has you clenching around nothing.Â
Hyunjin casually takes a seat beside you in the grass, leaning over to stroke your cheek. âSit in my lap. I wanna look at that pretty face while I fuck you.â
Youâre speechless. Hyuninâs done a little dirty talk here and there but this? This is new and you love everything about it. Taking you by the hand, he guides you up into his lap. Not completely but just enough for his cock to nudge at your entrance. Front and back.Â
Draping your arms over his shoulders, you sink your hips down enough to confirm your suspicions. You let out a tiny yelp, raising yourself back up, and Hyunjin canât hide his amusement at your reaction.Â
âThereâs tâŠtwo of them now?â you stutter, glancing down at the small amount of space between you, hoping to catch a glimpse of what youâve clearly missed.Â
Hyunjin tucks a finger under your chin, tilting your head up to bring your attention back to him. âI can switch back to one. I could go up to three. I can give you whatever you want. You just have to tell me.âÂ
Grabbing onto your hips, he eases you down onto him, feeling your body quiver as he stretches your pussy and your ass simultaneously. Under normal conditions this is nothing you could handle but nothing about these conditions are normal. To your surprise, not only can you handle this, you want this.Â
âI wantâŠmmphââ you moan as he feeds you inch after pulsing inch and the fullness begins to cloud your brain.Â
Hyunjin pauses, half of him in you and half out. This feels just as good for him as it does for you and itâs taking everything in him not to fill you up all at once. âWhat do you want, princess? Tell meâ he says, kissing every part of you he can reach. The softness of your lips. The curve of your chin. The warmth of your cheeks.Â
âIâŠwantâŠall of this.â
Your mouth crashes into his as you settle down onto his lap, taking him into you without an ounce of hesitation. If his tongue and his fingers felt like heaven, this is so far beyond that. Something as good as this is dangerous. Addictive.Â
Thereâs a hint of playfulness as he speaks. An undertone of pleasure taken from the way you tremble in his lap, adjusting to the feeling of him swelling within the depths of your velvet walls. Lacing your fingers around the back of his neck, you rock your hips, setting the pace. Hyunin bites his lip, gripping the juicy globes of your ass as he grinds back into you.Â
âYouâre shaking too, Jinnie. Whatâs wrong? Too much for you?â you tease, tits pressed to his chest.Â
Hyunjin grins, slapping your ass so hard that you jiggle all around him. âOh, so itâs your turn to tease me now, hmm?â
You kiss his grinning lips, twirling your tongue around his in a delicate dance that only draws you deeper into each other. Grabbing your plush hips, he lifts you up and slams you back down, stealing the air from your lungs. Your nails scratch the nape of his neck and he hisses at the pain, mystified by how good it manages to feel while heâs fucking you.
Your moans fill the space between his cheeks and theyâre like sugar on his tongue. He can only want more. Lucky for him, you have no plans to hold back. You couldnât if you wanted to. Not when every inch of him is pulsing inside of you. You feel all of him. Every rush of blood. Every throbbing vein.Â
You bounce in his lap, mindless, clinging to him. Your sweat slicked body calls out his name, even as you lose the ability to. The sound of your bodies collidingâyour shared arousal pooling between youâmakes the filthiest noises. If anyone else were on this server theyâd surely hear but not even the threat of being caught could stop you from taking his cocks like you were born for this purpose alone.Â
âFuck, you feel so goodâ he growls, tilting you back at an angle that has your eyes rolling back. His hand finds your clit and he rolls it between his fingers, massaging the swollen bud. Raising you up again, he brings you down over and over. Each time harder. Faster. Rougher. âYouâre too pretty like this. Taking me so well. I know itâs your birthday but I canât help feeling like Iâm the one whoâs getting the gift. Youâre just so perfect. SoâŠâ
Your hips stutter as the tension coiling in your lower belly intensifies. Youâre tingling from head to toe as your walls spasm, frantically clenching his length. âJinnieâŠâ you whimper, words trailing off as your head falls back.Â
Hyunjin nuzzles your chin, rubbing your clit faster. âYou gonna cum for me? My gorgeous girl. My princess.âÂ
You canât see him but you just know heâs watching you. The lust in his gaze sticks to you like honey, drowning every part of you in his longing. Suddenly everything goes hazy, the tears running down your cheeks blurring the sky like watercolor. The sky seems to get closer. Close enough that if you reached out youâd swear you could touch the moon. Youâre floating away, light as a feather, and then youâre crashing down.
Hyunjin rolls you onto your back, letting you writhe in a bed of flowers as you squirt all over his cock. Your mouthâs wide open and he seizes the opportunity to kiss you, swallowing your muffled moans as his own high has him spilling into your pretty little holes. Youâre overflowing. Warm and full. A feeling that seems to last forever, lingering even as Hyunjin slips off to your side, bringing you into his chest. You lay here together, breathless and spent. Your head on his chest. His fingers in your hair.Â
âThank you, Jinnie. For everythingâ you say, petting the taut muscles of his chest. âThis has been the best birthday ever. Can I ask for just one more thing?âÂ
âAnything.â
You scoot yourself up to eye level, the afterglow making you look like his own personal angel. âI want you again but this time the real you.â
Hyunjinâs brow furrows. He seems caught off guard by your request. âAre you sure? We can stay here if you want. It's your gift after all.â
âYou are my giftâ you smile, âNow take me home and fuck me like you mean it.â
Hyunjin stares at you, as in love as heâs ever been, âExit game.â
Summary: What starts as a desperate escape from summer heat in the library turns into an obsession when the new librarian, Seungcheol, replaces sweet Mrs. Thompson. Flirty book returns, tension thicker than humidity, and one very overdue confession lead to a closing-time encounter thatâll get you banned and him fired. If youâre caught.
Word count: 4.7k
Genre/warnings: romance (a little fluffy i guess), smut, slow-ish burn (? lol), library!au, librarian!seungcheol x patron!reader, these two are flirting, reader is fighting for her life most of the time for various reasons, the weather is atrocious (i hate stuffy humid summers and Iâm living through one rn send help), Minors DNI. explicit sexual content, some cursing here and there.
Smut warnings: sex toy use (vibrator, dildo; weâre a basic bitch), vivid sexual fantasy, they both imagined each other, reader is called a good girl like once, oral sex (m and f receiving), unprotected piv sex (donât do it kids, be responsible unlike these weirdos), semi-public sex (library after hours), dom/sub undertones (light praise/degradation) , light exhibitionism, risk of being caught, kinda cum play, probably inaccurate representation of someone with glasses having sex because i have no clue iâm sorry (T_T). If i missed anything anywhere please let me know.
A/N: I literally wrote it because of this disgusting weather (>.<). The only acceptable scenario for this humid bullshit is if Choi Seungcheol is balls deep inside you. This man is a public menace and we thank him for it. (RIP Mrs. Thompsonâs pristine shelves.) Still not over his expensive-ass glasses, want him to post more photos in them. Coups nation keeps fighting for our lives. (ââżââż) also hey look she finally posted smut!!! and as always, hope you enjoy this read :)
If you see any mistakes I'm sorry, English isn't my first language, proceed at your own discretion.
Masterlist.
The mid summer heat clings to your skin like a second layer as you step off the bus, the pavement radiating warmth even as the sun begins its slow descent. The air is thick, sluggish, the kind of heat that makes you feel icky and want to crawl out of your skin, to cool off under a cold shower.
You push open the library doors, and the rush of cool air is an instant relief, like slipping into a quiet, shaded pool after hours in the sun. The familiar scent of aged paper and dust settles around you as you slide your borrowed books across the return desk, their pages slightly warped from the humidity. For a moment, you just stand there, letting the quiet and the chill seep into you, the buzz of the outside world fading into the hush of shelves and soft footsteps. Itâs a small escape, but in this heat, it feels like a gift.
You blink, still half-dazed from the heat, before realizing the usual warm, wrinkled smile of Mrs. Thompson, the librarian, isnât there to greet you. Instead, behind the desk stands a man. Tall, broad-shouldered, the kind of build that suggests he lifts weights but doesnât just do it for show. His arms strain slightly against the sleeves of his linen shirt, and his thighs look like they could crush watermelons. Or your head. Youâre still processing his existence when you belatedly register that his plush lips are moving, saying something youâve completely missed.
âSorry,â you stammer, shaking off the stupor. âCould you repeat that?â
He smiles, and ohâdimples. Deep, unfair dimples. Your heartbeat stutters in two places at once at the sight. His big, doe-like eyes catch the libraryâs warm light, lashes casting delicate shadows as he tilts his head. The rectangular rimless glasses perched on his nose only sharpen the softness of his features, and when he leans forward slightly, you catch a whiff of cedar and bergamotâclean, warm, expensive.
âI said,â he repeats, voice low but bright, âMrs. Thompson retired last week. Iâm Seungcheol. Youâre a regular, right? She left notes about you.â His fingers tap the keyboard and you notice how big his hands are. âSaid I should keep an eye out for new releases for you.â
You swallow, suddenly very aware of how much cooler the library is compared to the sweat-dampened back of your blouse. âYeah,â you manage. âThatâd be⊠great.â
He grins again, and youâre doomed.
Then he turns to type something into the computer and you watch his fingers tap awkwardly at the keyboard while he mutters under his breath. You watch him struggle for a minute, observing as he becomes more and more irritated by the second and then decide to come to rescue.
âNeed some help with that? The systemâs pretty temperamental.â You suggest your assistance. You only know how it works because you helped Mrs. Thompson quite a few times before, when you volunteered for small book events hosted by the library.
His plump lips curve into a relieved smile, revealing his dimples yet again. âPlease. Iâve been fighting with this thing all morning,â he admits, and you only just register that his voice is deeper than you expected. You really must be overheated if your brain works this slow.
Your hands accidentally brush as you come around the desk and reach for the mouse, causing you both to pull back slightly. You feel your cheeks heat up immediately. For a moment you feel very self conscious. Somewhere in the back of your mind you briefly note down like a broken record how his broad shoulders and muscular arms are visible even under his simple linen shirt as he shifts to make room for you at the desk. You guide the new librarian through the libraryâs outdated computer system, explaining the quirks of the catalog software while he watches attentively. âYou have to double-click, wait exactly three seconds, then click again or it freezes,â you explain.
He lets out a low chuckle, the sound warm and rich, and you feel it more than hear itâthe vibration of sound so deep it goes straight to your core. Gosh, youâre past salvation. âThree seconds, huh? Who programmed this, a sadist?â His voice is teasing, but thereâs genuine frustration underneath, and you canât help but smirk.
âProbably some underpaid intern in the â90s,â you say, clicking through the menus with practiced ease. âMrs. Thompson used to say the libraryâs budget went entirely into books, so they never upgraded the tech.â
He leans in slightly, his cedar-and-bergamot scent wrapping around you, and in the corner of your eye you catch the way his brow furrowsânot in annoyance now, but focus. You barely turn your head to get a better look at him and immediately regret it (well, not really, it would be a crime to regret observing such a handsome face). His lashes are unfairly long up close, and when he blinks, you swear you see the light sparkle in his brown eyes under the libraryâs soft lighting.
âYouâre a lifesaver,â he murmurs, and his shoulder brushes yours as he shifts again, solid and warm. You can practically feel the heat radiating off him, like heâs been standing in the sun too long, even though youâre fairly certain heâs been locked up in the library for most of the day.
âJust a regular with too much free time,â you reply, trying to ignore the way your pulse jumps when he smiles at you.
âWell, I owe you one,â he says, and thereâs something in his toneâplayful, but with an edge of sincerity. âMaybe I can buy you a coffee after my shift? As payment for IT support.â
Your fingers pause on the mouse. Oh.
Mrs. Thompson never offered coffee.
You glance up at him, at the hopeful tilt of his lips, the way his glasses slide just slightly down his noseâand you realize, belatedly, that the library mightâve just gotten a lot more interesting.
Just as you open your mouth to respondâyes, no, maybe, oh godâa woman approaches the desk, sliding a book across with an expectant look. Your pulse stutters, and you seize the chance to escape, ducking away from the desk before you can embarrass yourself further.
But the space behind the counter is cramped, and Seungcheol is right there, all broad shoulders and solid warmth. You try to sidestep him, but your hip brushes against his arm, and you feel the muscle there tense slightly under the thin linen. âS-Sorry,â you mumble, face burning, as if your body has suddenly forgotten how to navigate basic spatial awareness.
You retreat to the safety of the stacks, but you donât leave. Instead, you linger, pretending to browse the fiction section while your brain scrambles for an excuse. I canât go for coffee. Iâm a mess. I smell like office sweat and bus exhaust. My hair is probably frizzing from the humidity. Heâs wearing linen and smells like a luxury candle, and Iâ
âHey.â
His voice is closer than expected. You turn to find Seungcheol leaning slightly against the shelf, arms crossed, those damn dimples making a reappearance. âYou never answered me,â he says, tilting his head. âAbout the coffee.â
Your grip tightens on the book in your handsâsome random thriller you definitely arenât reading. âI, uhââ
He raises an eyebrow, waiting.
And then, because the universe hates you, the overhead vent kicks on, blasting a gust of air that sends your hair flying directly into your mouth.
Seungcheol laughsânot meanly, but like heâs genuinely delighted. He reaches out, fingers grazing your wrist as he tugs the book from your grip and slides it back onto the shelf. âLook,â he says, softer now, âif you donât want to, itâs cool. But if youâre hesitating because you think youâre notâŠâ He gestures vaguely at you, then at himself. â...put together enough or whatever? Trust me, I spent my lunch break hiding in the storage closet eating a sad convenience store sandwich. Weâre all disasters here in one way or another.â
You stare at him. His glasses slide slightly to the point of his nose and he lifts his chin before pushing them back in place with the middle finger and his thumb.
âSo?â He grins. âCoffee?â
You exhale. Maybe disasters can have caffeine together.
âYeah,â you say. âOkay.â
The minutes stretch as you linger in the library, pretending to browse the shelves while stealing glances at Seungcheolâhis broad frame bent over the desk, the way his fingers drum impatiently on the keyboard whenever the system lags, the way his glasses slip down his nose when he squints at the screen. Every time he catches you looking, your face burns, and you quickly duck behind a bookshelf like some flustered teenager with a crush. Itâs ridiculous. Youâre a grown adult. And yet, thereâs something about the way his eyes crinkle when he smirks at you that makes your stomach flip.
By the time his shift ends, the sun has dipped low, painting the sky in streaks of orange and pink. The evening air is still thick with summerâs stubborn heat, but thereâs a faint breeze now, carrying the scent of pavement and distant rain. You step outside together, and Seungcheol stretches his arms overhead with a groan, his linen shirt riding up just enough to reveal a sliver of toned stomach. You look away quickly.
You lead the way, slipping into the role of local guide with ease. âItâs just a few blocks down. Best iced coffee in the areaâthough, fair warning, their pastries are hit or miss.â
He laughs, falling into step beside you. âNoted. Though honestly, after dealing with that ancient computer all day, Iâd drink gas station coffee if it had caffeine in it.â
The conversation flows effortlessly from there. You learn he moved here just last month for the library jobâa career shift after burning out in corporate hell. âTurns out I like books more than spreadsheets,â he admits with a shrug.
You tell him about your own jobâjust a business office manager of your local hospitalâbut mostly, you talk about the city. The hidden dumpling spot by the post office. The park where most of the local seasonal markets and festivals take place. The used bookstore where the owner is a very chatty lady whoâd buzz your ears away about the three of her cats if you stay long enough.
Seungcheol listens intently, nodding along, his brown eyes bright with interest. âYouâre like a walking Yelp review,â he teases, looking amused.
You shove his arm lightlyâthen immediately regret it when your fingers meet solid muscle. It takes all your self control to not make an explicitly awed face. âShut up. You asked for recommendations.â
âI did,â he agrees, grinning. âAnd now Iâm asking for more. Starting with why you didnât just check out that thriller you were holding earlier.â
You freeze. âYou saw that?â
âI see a lot of things,â he says, voice dropping just low enough to make your pulse skip. Then, lighter: âLike how youâve been avoiding looking at me directly since we left. Am I that scary?â
âNo,â you mutter. âJust⊠making sure we donât go astray.â
Seungcheol gives you this incredulous look, his lips stretching in a way that gives away the titanic attempt not to laugh. You pretend not to notice, yet again.
Maybe, you think, summer isnât so unbearable after all.
The library becomes your sanctuary, though not for the reasons it once was. No, on second thought, it becomes an addiction.
You tell yourself itâs about the books, new releases, classics youâve been meaning to read, anything to justify showing up three times a week when you used to visit once, maybe twice. But the truth is embarrassingly obvious: youâre there for him. For the way Seungcheolâs forearms flex when he reshelves heavy hardcovers. For the way his voice drops to a murmur when the library is quiet, like heâs sharing a secret just with you. For the way his plush lips quirk when you say something witty, like heâs savoring the taste of your words.
Itâs pathetic. Youâve never read so much in your life no matter how much you love a good book.
Every interaction is a carefully orchestrated dance. You linger at the desk under the pretense of asking about new arrivals, leaning just a little too close under the guise of peering at his computer screen. His scent that you already memorised by heart somehowâcedar and bergamot, warm and expensiveâwraps around you, and you have to clench your thighs together real tight to stop the ache.
âAnother thriller?â he asks one afternoon, raising an eyebrow as you slide a well-worn copy of The Silent Patient across the counter. His fingers brush yours when he takes it, deliberate. âYouâre burning through these. Should I be worried?â
Your lips stretch in a half-smile. âAbout what?â
âThat youâre researching how to get away with murder.â His eyes flick up, dark and amused. âOr that youâre just trying to impress me.â
The accusation hits too close to home. You are trying to impress himânot with your reading habits, but with the way your nails tap against the desk, the way your skirt rides up when you cross one leg over the other. You want him to look. You want him to want.
âPlease,â you scoff, tilting your chin. âIâd never murder someone in a way that could be traced back to a library book.â
Seungcheol laughs and the sound of it coils in your stomach. âGood to know.â He leans in, voice dropping. âBut if you were going to kill me⊠Iâd hope youâd at least take me to dinner first.â
Your breath catches.
Itâs like this every time nowâwords laced with something hotter, heavier. A game where neither of you really knows the rules but both refuse to lose.
Itâs Tuesday evening. The air in your apartment is thick and suffocating, heavy with humidity you can almost taste when you breathe in. The ancient AC unit in your window groans pathetically, barely pushing out a lukewarm breeze. You kick off your work shoes, peel your damp blouse from your back, and collapse onto the bed with a groan.
Youâd gone to the library again today. Again.
Itâs becoming a problem.
Youâd told yourself you were just returning The Silent Patient and picking up something newâmaybe that new romantasy novel everyoneâs talking about. But the moment youâd stepped inside, the cool air brushing your flushed skin, your eyes had gone straight to the checkout desk. To him.
Seungcheol had been bent over a stack of returned books, his linen shirt stretched taut across his shoulders. When heâd looked up and seen you, his lips had curled into that slow, knowing smile, the one that made your stomach flip.
âBack so soon?â heâd teased, voice low. âMiss me already?â
Youâd rolled your eyes, playing it cool, but your pulse had been racing. Youâd felt his gaze on you as youâd browsed the shelvesâheavy, lingering. Like he was imagining the same things you were.
Now, lying on your bed in just your bra and panties, you canât stop thinking about it.
About him.
Youâre aching.
With a frustrated sigh, you reach into your nightstand drawer and pull out your vibratorâa sleek, purple thing youâve had for years. Itâs not enough. Not today. You grab the dildo too, the one thatâs thick and curved just right.
Youâre already wet, your panties sticking to your skin. You slide them off with a whimper, spreading your legs. The vibrator buzzes to life in your hand, and you press it to your clit with a gasp.
Fuck.
You close your eyes, and instantly, Seungcheol is there. You imagine his big hands sliding up your thighs, pushing them apart. His deep voice murmuring in your ear. âYouâve been driving me crazy, coming in here all the time. You want me to see you, donât you?â
You moan, circling your clit faster with the toy.
In your mind, heâs above you, his body thick and solid, pinning you down in this heat and adding to it with his own body. You wouldnât mind, in fact the imagery of it makes you wetter. You imagine his lips on your neck, sucking marks into your skin as his fingers slide inside you. âSo fucking wet for me,â he growls. âKnew you would be.â
You whimper, arching off the bed. The vibrator isnât enoughâyou need more. You reach for the dildo, slicking it with the arousal dripping down your thighs and then quickly grabbing the lube from your nightstand too. You slick up the thing just to be sure. And then guide the silicone cock to your pussy lips.
You imagine itâs Seungcheol.
His cock, thick and heavy, pushing into you.
The stretch burns so good, and you moan, fucking yourself onto the toy. âSeungcheolââ
Your hips jerk, chasing the feeling. You picture him above you, his muscles flexing as he fucks into you, his glasses slipping down his nose. âLook at you,â he rasps. âTaking me so well. Knew youâd be perfect.â
The vibrator buzzes against your clit, and youâre close, so closeâ
Until you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand. It throws you off a little and yet you ignore it, chasing your release. But it buzzes again. And again. With a frustrated groan, you abandon the dildo to grab itâand freeze. Itâs a text. From him.
Seungcheol: Missed you at the library today.
Your breath catches. Youâd just been there. Was he⊠was he messing with you? Before you can overthink it (not that you can think much in your current horny state), another text comes through.
Seungcheol: Were you in a hurry? Your book is glaring at me from the desk.
A photo followsâa blurry shot of the checkout desk, your book still sitting there. Your heart pounds. Is he... flirting? Teasing? Torturing you?
You bite your lip, then struggle to type back with one hand:
You: Oops. Guess Iâll have to come back tomorrow.
The response is immediate.
Seungcheol: Canât wait.
You whimper.
The vibrator is still buzzing against your clit, temporarily forgotten in your hand. Youâre so close, but now your mind is racing with all these questions you arenât sure you want answers to. Did he know? Was he imagining you like this, spread out and desperate? No, thereâs no way he would know, is there?
You unconsciously press the vibrator harder and snivel as your hips jerk once at the harder contact.
Another text. You groan in exasperation, muttering under your breath something about one particularly unfairly hot man distracting you from imagining him do very unholy things to you.
Seungcheol: What are you doing right now?
You nearly drop your phone, cussing quietly, startled. He canât be seriously making small talk right now. If only he saw what state youâre currently in. Panting, thighs shaking, hair sticking to your forehead from sweat. You feel your frustration grow as type back with trembling fingers:
You: Nothing interesting.
The reply comes seconds later.
Seungcheol: Sure.
You let out a breathless sigh at the smug face emoji he sends afterwards. The thought of him possibly knowing what exactly youâre doing right now send you into overdrive, a series of high-pitched whimpers fills the room the moment your orgasm hits you, crashing over you so hard you choke on your voice and drop your phone somewhere to the side of your bed. Your back arches, your inner muscles clamping around the dildo as you begin to thrust it brutally again just to ride it through your climax, your mind filled with him: his hands, his mouth, his cock.
When you come down, boneless and even sweatier than before, your phone buzzes one last time. You take your time before you reach for it, pulling the dildo out and turning off the vibrator. You know that you need to control yourself otherwise this little indulgence can go on forever. With a heavy sigh, you grab your phone and unlock it once again, staring at the message that he sent you.
Seungcheol: Sweet dreams then ;)
You groan, throwing an arm over your face as the realisation of what you just did dawns on you. Youâre fucked.
One evening a couple of weeks later, youâre the last patron in the library, pretending to browse the poetry section while he closes up. The fluorescents hum overhead, casting long shadows between the shelves. You hear his footsteps before you see himâconfident, unhurried.
âFind anything good?â he asks, suddenly too close.
You turn, and there he is: sleeves rolled up to reveal thick forearms, his collar slightly undone. His glasses catch the light, hiding his eyes, but you donât need to see them to know theyâre hungry.
âDepends,â you say, holding up a dog-eared copy of Love in the Time of Cholera. âDo you think unrequited love is romantic or just tragic?â
Seungcheol comes closer and plucks the book from your hands, his fingers lingering. âI think,â he murmurs, âif two people want each other, they shouldnât waste time pretending otherwise.â
The air between you crackles. Seungcheol steps forward, you freeze. Not in fear, rather, in delighted anticipation. You can feel your pussy throbbing just from looking at him move, from him gradually backing you up against the bookshelves. You could kiss him. You should kiss him.
Instead, you sidestepâbut Seungcheol doesnât let you retreat. His hand snaps out, fingers wrapping around your wrist, pulling you flush against him. The book in his grasp hits the carpet with a muffled thud, abruptly forgotten.
âPretending gets old,â he murmurs, voice rough. His free hand slides up your thigh, bunching the fabric of your skirt. âDonât you think?â
Your breath hitches. âWeâre in a library.â
His grin is all teeth. âAnd youâre overdue.â
Then heâs backing you into the nearest shelf, the wood creaking under the impact of your weight. His mouth crashes onto yours, hot and demanding, tongue sliding against your lip until you gasp. He swallows the sound, one broad palm cradling your jaw, the other hiking your leg around his hip. You can feel him alreadyâthe thick, insistent press of his cock against your stomach, even through his jeans.
âFuck,â you whimper, arching into him.
Seungcheol nips at your lower lip, then pulls back just enough to watch you unravel. âYouâve been driving me insane,â he growls. âFlirting over book returns. Smirking at me like you know exactly what I want to do to you.â His thumb brushes your bottom lip. âGuess what? You were right.â
Then heâs sinking to his knees.
The sight of himâbroad shoulders, those thick thighs straining his pants, his big hands sliding up your bare legsâmakes your cunt throb. He hooks his fingers into your panties and yanks them down, letting them pool around your ankles. Seungcheol pushes his glasses up to sit on top of his head and his breath ghosts over your damp skin, and you shudder.
âLook at you,â he murmurs, dragging a single finger through your slick. âAll this for me?â
You nod, desperate.
Seungcheolâs eyes darken. âThen hold still.â
His mouth is on you before you can brace yourselfâhot, wet, relentless. His tongue laps at you in broad strokes, then flicks your clit just hard enough to make your knees buckle. You grab the shelf behind you, knuckles white, as he eats you out like a man starved. Every suck, every swirl, has you biting back whimpers, your hips jerking against his face.
âCheolâfuckââ
He groans against you, the vibration making you clench around nothing. Then, without warning, he slides two fingers inside you, curling them just so. Your vision whites out.
âQuiet,â he orders, mouth still working you. âOr I stop.â
You choke back a moan.
He doesnât stop, continuing to lick and suckle, nosing you and alternating between long licks of tongue pressed flat and quick kitten licks, assaulting your clit.
When youâre trembling on the edge, he pulls away, leaving you gasping. His lips glisten with you. He stands, towering over you, and unbuckles his belt with deliberate slowness. His cock springs free and he strokes itâthick, tip already flushed from strain, already leaking precum. Then his free hand slides to the back of your neck, gripping gently and pressing down, guiding. You sink to your knees.
âGood girl,â He praises and taps his cock against your cheek, smearing precum over your skin. The scent of him fills your senses and you mewl quietly, chasing his shaft to smudge an open-mouthed kiss against the girth.
âOpen,â he rasps.
You do.
He feeds his cock into your mouth, groaning as your lips stretch around him. âGod, yesâ just like that.â His hands cradle your face, guiding you, but not forcing. âTake it. You can.â
You hollow your cheeks, sucking as he rocks shallowly into your throat. He's everywhereâthe salt of him, the musk, the way his hips stutter when you hum and the sound vibrates through his length. His grip tightens in your hair, just shy of painful.
âFuck, your mouth,â he grits out. âShouldâve done this weeks ago.â
You whimper around him, and he pulls back, letting you gasp for air. His thumb swipes over your spit-slick lips before he helps you up to your feet yet again. You sway a little and his arms wrap around your waist, stabilising. âYou alright?â He hums, leaning down to kiss along your jawline and you nod. âGood.â
âTurn around,â he commands, already guiding you to do just that before your balance fully returns.
You obey, attempting to carefully step free of your underwear as he spins you, but your heel catches in the fabric and you still stumble trying to shake it off while bracing your hands against the shelf. The ancient thing shudders upon impact but holds as you grip the edge, knuckles white. Behind you, Seungcheol huffs a chuckle at your clumsiness and kneads your ass, then spreads you open. His breath hitches.
âChrist,â he mutters. âLook at you.â
Then heâs pushing into you in one smooth thrust, stretching you, filling you. You cry out, and his hand clamps over your mouth.
âShh,â he murmurs against your ear, hips flush against your ass. âYouâll get us caught.â
He starts slow, rolling his hips in deep, grinding circles that have you seeing stars. Every drag of his cock lights you up inside, the stretch bordering on too much. Youâre so wet itâs obscene, the sound of him fucking you filthy in the quiet library. Itâs the wet squelching of your juices and skin slapping against skin. You donât even think you moaning would make a difference. Anyone who hears these sounds will be able to tell what exactly is going on.
âFeel good?â he teases, nipping your shoulder. âBet you've thought about this. Bet youâve touched yourself thinking about it.â
You nod, shameless. Because itâs exactly what you did. On multiple occasions.
Seungcheol groans, snapping his hips harder. âKnew it. Knew you were desperate for it.â His hand slides from your mouth to your throat, tilting your head back. âCome on, then. Let me feel you.â
You shatter with a barely restrained whimper. Your orgasm crashes through you, clenching around him so tight he curses, his rhythm faltering. But he doesnât stopâhe fucks you through it, his grip on your hip bruising, his breath ragged in your ear.
âOne more,â he demands. âGive me one more.â
Youâre oversensitive, wrung out, but his fingers find your clit, rubbing tight circles, and youâre gone again, your back arching as you sob his name.
Seungcheol growls, slamming into you one last time before he spills deep, his cock pulsing inside you. He keeps you pinned there, both of you trembling, as he rides out his high.
For a moment, the only sound that fills the space between you is your ragged breathing. Then he pulls out, turning you to face him. He swipes his index and middle fingers through the mess between your thighs, then brings it to your lips.
âTaste,â he murmurs.
Your face flushes deeper red but you do as youâre told, your inner walls clamping down on nothing. But you canât help it, the filth of the moment only turns you on more.
His eyes burn as he watches you suck his fingers clean. âWeâre definitely doing that again.â
You lick your lips and laugh breathlessly, boneless against him, pushing the skirt back in place with your weak trembling hands, thinking this was it. âWhat about the coffee date sequel?â
Seungcheol nips your earlobe. âOh, weâll get to that.â He pushes your skirt up again, then smirks when your eyes widen with belated realisation that heâs not done with you. âAfter round two.â
The libraryâs lights flicker overhead.
Somewhere, the sweet Mrs. Thompson is rolling in her retirement home unsuspecting of what her charming successor is doing to you in the sanctuary of books she spent most of her life working at.
And youâre definitely getting banned.
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