For the last twenty minutes I have been completely entranced scrolling through pictures of rock hyraxes on my phone.
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Love Begins

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EXPECTATIONS
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@leafpile-disturber
For the last twenty minutes I have been completely entranced scrolling through pictures of rock hyraxes on my phone.
The descent into the devastating and inescapable logic of “Why We Build the Wall” throughout the song will never not haunt me.
Why do we build the wall? We build the wall to keep us free. How does the wall keep us free? The wall keeps out the enemy. What do we call the enemy? The enemy is poverty. What do we have that they should want? We have a wall to work upon.
Like the show itself, the logic of the wall is cyclical, so it’s inescapable. The wall is literal. The wall is figurative. We create the wall ourselves when we value profit over life. And at the end of the day, after all that work, and all of that time spent disparaging the “have nots,” the only thing you have left is the very wall you are building, separating you from your fellow man.
i really really really really really like hadestown's repeated use of "eurydice was a hungry girl" because at first pass you might think oh, she's scrappy and street smart and her ambition is going to be the foil to orpheus's idealist romanticism. but nope! no she is literally hungry. she is starving. that is her motivator and everybody knows it. she loves, oh she does, but she can't be fucking blamed for fulfilling her physical needs first.
like the point is eurydice signs the contract so that she can survive. she's hungry and cold. and hades promises food, shelter, safety, even comfort. but she still doesn't get what she's after because it kills her. we submit to the capitalism machine because we need food, we need somewhere to lay our head in order to be people, but it strips away our personhood anyway.
When it comes to sex scenes, the rules say things like: Don’t write them at all, and if you do, don’t use these words. Don’t write them silly, porny, dramatic, tragic, pathological, grim, or ridiculous.
My whole practical thesis around the craft of writing a sex scene is this: it is exactly the same as any other scene. Our isolation of sex from other kinds of scenes is not indicative of sex’s difference, but the difference in our relationship to sex. It is our reluctance to name things, the shame we’ve been taught, our fraught compulsion to an act a theatre of types. It is indicative of the lack of imagination that centuries of patriarchy and white supremacy has wrought on us.
To teach sex scenes is to talk about plot, dialogue, pacing, description and characterisation: all those elements that make a captivating scene. A sex scene should advance the story and occur in a chain of causality that springs from your characters’ choices. It should employ sensory detail that concretises and also speaks symbolically to the deeper content of the story. Or if not, it should service your work of art in whatever ways you want from your scenes.
“Mind Fuck: Writing Better Sex” in Body Work by Melissa Febos
im going crazy you have GOT to decouple romance/amatonormativity and marriage in your mind. you have GOT to understand that marriage is a legal document that protects you from exploitation especially if you are a woman or a stay-at-home anything. it is not some evil unique to heterosexual people. it is a legal document that says 'this is who i want in my hospital room when i die, this is who i want to have my stuff when i die, THIS PERSON OWES ME RECOMPENSE IF THEY KICK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE I LIVE IN"
You are not immune to being taken advantage of by your partner if you are queer. do not wind up homeless because your garbage live-ins name is on the lease and they decided to drop you like hot coals.
Adding to this:
This is why it is not assimilationist for gay/queer people to want to enshrine marriage rights in their country/region
Similarly, this is why polyamorous people are fighting for the right to have their relationships recognised by their states through marriage and/or similar agreements
Oh, and because on top of those aforementioned financial and medical protections, these laws also help you maintain connection to any kids you have and/or raise together!
I would go further and say, this is why we really should be looking to expand some of these rights so that marriage is NOT the only way they should be enshrined. (e.g. Why could I get married tonight to a guy I met this morning, and get him on my health insurance, but I cannot do the same for a sibling?)
Remember the fight for same sex marriage was never “we feel left out”, it was “we’re sick and not allowed to see each other. We’re dying and not allowed at the funeral. Someone who kicked me out at 14 just showed up for the first time 24 years later to tell the doctor to pull the plug, and they did.”
Marriage is a legal documentation of rights. Fully agree with prev that those rights should be divested from the concept of monogamy entirely, but for now we have to at least understand what they are
I need the tumblr kiddos to understand that when my wife and I got married in 2013 we had to plan our vacations to ensure we only visited states where our marriage was legal, because otherwise if my wife got sick (not unlikely, she has multiple chronic conditions) I might not even be allowed to visit her in the hospital.
Every older queer you know who is in a longterm relationship will have similar stories of how we planned our whole lives to protect what would have been granted nigh automatically if we were heterosexual.
Marriage is a legal status that confers certain protections and rights, and until societies introduce other ways to get those protections and rights, we need it even if we hate it as an institution.
Some Yellow drawings!
cowboy and his shadow (guy)
this was lucky luke inspired, kinda
this was baby’s first blellow
Imagine being Anais Mitchell and writing a song about the rhetoric of fascism so incisive and prescient that 10 years later an actual fascist would use that exact rhetoric down to the highly-specific phrasing in his presidential campaign. But also it took 10 years for the project you wrote that song for to move from living room shows to concept album to theater workshop to off-Broadway to Broadway, and its Broadway debut ended up coinciding with said fascist's successful bid for the presidency, and now it looks like your song that you wrote in 2005 is a super unsubtle reference to that one particular and highly-topical politician.
Frankly if I were her I would have started killing.
there’s this emerging language that content creators talking about boundary discourse have been using recently and it really disturbs me in ways i don’t know how to phrase man. commandeering words like abusive/abuser or sexual predator or rapist or pedophile or fetishist to talk about people who just… ship minecraft characters is really really really unnerving. i’m not sure how to word my thoughts but like at the very least: holy fuck that’s so insensitive. using those words completely unattached from their meaning to win an argument or claim moral superiority is seriously sick
Praise
ok I think y’all are ready to see transgender Frankenstein’s monster I did for class
On the road to hell there was a railroad car...
no okay but persephone. when you listen to the soundtrack it's like she's a party girl she drinks and has fun but you guys dont understand because every single time she took a drink she grimaced. every single time. not once did she enjoy herself, because it wasn't her indulging in her wants it was her coping. and even!! even during livin it up on top when everyone takes a drink there's a moment of silence where they all look almost disgusted by it. none of them enjoy it it doesn't taste good to any of them yet still they drink it??
and then UGH okay because lady of the underground i was under the impression that she was interacting with the workers and whatnot like making the cracks in the wall that orpheus was about to break down but there's no one on stage. the only people on stage are the musicians, hermes, and persephone. none of the workers are there. she's singing to herself. do you understand do you get it?? especially with why do we build the wall right before that because I didn't realize persephone was in that song?? and the whole time she looks terrified. she Doesn't want to be here she Doesn't want to engage with this (my mom compared the song to being at a maga rally and she was 100% correct) but she does anyway, perhaps because she's forced to. and the look of heartbreak when eurydice appears; the way eurydice is confused and put off at first, but it doesn't take long for her to learn the words and join in????
eurydice and persephone is a whole other thing because I never realized how much of a relationship they had. like persephone is quick to be friendly with her, and eurydice is enthralled by that attention. but then during chant when persephone is singing about like the earth dying and people starving she's looking at eurydice walking by. she's looking at her and she looks heartbroken, she's reaching out to her but she can't reach her because she's not there. she watches as the fates strip eurydice of everything she has, and then that look of despair changes of one to fear as hades' eyes land on eurydice as he declares he'll find someone else who will be grateful. and I know that like flowers can be like an analogy for sa but I really felt it during that part. not so much in songbird vs rattlesnake? but definitely during the end of chant like AJHVSGDJAS.
and then like I said when eurydice enters the underworld persephone looks shaken. because she knows eurydice, and she knows orpheus, and- idk man. imagine being in hell and someone you know shows up, but you know they can't leave and you know they're soon to become a shell of who they once were. like. yeah
@blueisconfused blue your tags mean everything to me by the way. like yes this exactly this you Understand you Get It
sparring buddies
This got rly out of hand I was just drawing flowery spending time with each of the other flowers and planning to have little doodles of them all on a page lmao
We already have flowery forward air
Having a traumatic childhood means you cannot talk even objectively about your basic foundational experiences without it being "venting", even if you're not actually venting. You just straight up have a huge chunk of your life you can't talk about, full stop, without it being trauma dumping.
And it not being socially acceptable to talk about your own childhood is super alienating. Sometimes people want to know why, and any answer you can give them is going to be off putting.
It's to the point I get irritated when something I said is framed as venting when I'm literally just talking about my life experiences, doing my best to keep emotion out of it.
when I was in high school, I overheard two older students talking about a friend of theirs.
One of them said something like, "it doesn't bother me that [Friend] was in residential mental health treatment, I just wish they wouldn't talk about it ALL the time".
The other replied, "Well, that was all of last year for them. So when they say 'when I was in treatment,' it's like when you say 'last year'."
I try to remember that any time someone says something that sounds Shocking to me. sometimes one person's scary special crisis is another person's last year.
If you want to be accepting of mental illness, you need to accept the fact that some people's everyday lives are going to be terrifying to you. That doesn't mean they don't get to talk about it. Stop forcing hurt, isolated people to become even MORE hurt and isolated because you can't fathom toughening up a bit.