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@leafy-seadragon-tboy
Welcome! I'm Attis (he/they/ey) and this blog will follow my experiences as I get pregnant, carry, and birth a child.
Men who give birth are sometimes called seahorse dads. The coolest seahorse cousin is, of course, the leafy sea dragon.
Porn blogs: mind your manners, this is my real actual life.
feel free to immolate me if this is too invasive, but re binding, i genuinely suggesting using sports tape/kinesthology tape. Its the same as binding tape but piss cheap. Also, i find it binds than cloth binds, and you have easier time adjusting how the compressed breast tissue sits for a more masculine appearance. Also less overheating, easier to do sports, etc. Plus the 'no bonus article of clothing of dysphoria'. It's really underrated. I think it's because no one actually properly explains how to apply it (the anchor of the tape should be on the soft tissue pulling it to the side. not attached to the sternum and pressing down). Apologies for the ramble.
I have tried every way of binding. Yes even the super bad ones. I have bruised ribs from binding and tore skin from taping.
My boobs are simply too fat. It's ok. I'll just thug it out til surgery time
Re: pregnancy isn't feminine
I think a lot of expectations placed on AFAB/percieved-as-woman people can be divided into Femininity and Women's Work. Femininity is how you're supposed to portray yourself. Women's Work is all the stuff you're expected to do behind the scenes. Femininity is make-up and not being too assertive and embroidery as a hobby. Women's Work is deciding what to make for dinner every night and scrubbing the toilet and remembering everyone's birthdays so that you can mail cards on time. I think pregnancy is Women's Work.
wheres the gif of the guy on fire but then he eats a watermelon and hes fine
this is what summertime is like
"listen to your body"
my body: go get a cinnamon roll the size of a tire
Cis ppl will be like "transitioning is far less effective than my solution of dismantling gender norms" and then not dismantle gender norms
I'm sorry to put you on blast but every time I hear some variation of "why not both" the dismantling is pushed more than the transition, or annoyingly inserted into conversations about someone's transition.
"dismantling gender" is a vague, society wide thing that will require literal centuries of societal restructuring. Transition is a material thing that individuals can do for themselves now, to alleviate their bodily and social dysphoria. The entangling of conversations about the two is infinitely frustrating when I'm just trying to live my life.
In theory, I love the idea of dismantling the idea of gender and its place in society. Tear it all down. We're all just humans with bodies and minds. Whatever.
In practice, however, it's somehow always the gender of me and those like me that they want to dismantle first. Makes it hard to take the idea seriously as anything other than a threat. If the cis want to dismantle gender so damn badly, they should start with their own. Until then, it's not really gender abolition, it's just sparkling transmisogyny.
The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.
Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.
No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.
Easy carb add on:
Cookie
Fruit (canned or fresh)
Chips
Piece of bread
Popcorn
Crackers
Easy protein add on:
Nuts
Spoonful of nut butter
Cheese
Roasted chickpea snacks
Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)
Small canned sausages or similar
Sugar in there.
I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.
Meeting with the midwife went really well!
I think we're going to go with this lady. She believes strongly in parents leading the way, and she appears to live in a yurt in the middle of the woods
Last day of injections!!!
This coming week I am going to go to the library. And across down to get ice cream. And some friends are coming over on Tuesday. This week I will have more things to distract me from my physical discomfort and also it will not be 93 degrees. I will not get full-blown depression from having 3 weeks off of work.
!! VENT TW EXTREMELY SAD AND DEVASTATING AND AWFUL!!
My tummy hurts
This is awful. It's too hot outside, and in my house. The basement is disgusting. The house is disgusting. There's not enough windows in my home for me to properly air out whatever I think is wrong with the air in here. I'm hungry and full at the same time. Wanting to eat and not wanting to eat are no longer mutually exclusive, and have very little to do with being hungry or full. There's nowhere I can lay down that's both clean and cool. Not wearing clothes means I have to see my chest. I hate whatever my nipples are doing. It's too hot even to put bandaids over them. All the food tastes wrong in my mouth. It's too hot. The basement is too cold. Nothing is entertaining. My phone is overstimulating. Every chore I have to do is too overwhelming.
I knew I lived in a bit of a medical care desert but I just confirmed the hospital closest to my house literally does not have a birth center. They'll "catch the baby if it's coming out" but if they can still transport you, you're getting shipped a county over.
For a second I was thinking wow maybe we should move back closer to the city. Then I remembered we're out in the sticks in the first place because buying a house anywhere else was genuinely impossible and it's still a miracle we got the one we're in. This is surely the sign of a healthy economy.
I cannot believe degendering pregnancy is a controversial topic. idk how it is in the west, but when I went to a doctor, told her that I'm pregnant and I needed to do blood tests and many other things she laughed at me and said smth like: "you a 180cm grownass man pregnant??? honey, pregnancy is for those who are women. if you're a mentally ill trans then you can visit a psychologist instead", and I told her that I'm intersex but she was like "not pregnant, *h slurs* are sterile and can't get pregnant, especially if they're a man like you are." I saw 6 different doctors and I was mocked by all of them, until my partner somehow made one of them listen, and she saw that I really was pregnant and being intersex didn't make me "sterile." if pregnancy was degendered and was replaced with neutral language I'd have easier time accessing healthcare. and now that I did, the doctors are still confused and they're like "yeahhh, they never taught us how to treat defects like you so let us treat you like we would treat *normal pregnancy.*" first of all why are you calling a human being a defect, and secondly, do you treat EVERY pregnant woman you see the same way? there are different kinds of pregnancies. not every pregnancy is the same. different people have different complications and needs. why do you treat intersex pregnancy as something impossible that cannot be helped and monitored. especially for pregnant intersex men (or phenotypical "man", idk how to say it). the medical system makes you feel horrible for being intersex and pregnant intersex man. they'll either deny your healthcare or they'll abuse you and force you into womanhood even when you never lived it.
Midwives!
I did not have quite the day I had planned. Fell asleep at 11, woke up at 2 with exactly enough time to book it to my interview with the midwife. So I drove down with no water bottle and having eaten no lunch, whoops. Thank Wife for my many car snacks.
Unfortunately, this midwife has a very small practice. In the week and a half between scheduling this appointment and it happening, 3 returning families contacted her and she is now full. I did however, pass the vibe check enough that I am on her waitlist if anyone becomes high risk and needs to switch to hospital care. She also recommended another midwife not too far from my town, so I've contacted that woman already. I sent out a couple other applications too, now that I know it's only one embryo in there. Twins are inherently high risk and disqualify you for a home birth.
In conclusion, I'm disappointed cuz this lady was really chill, queer friendly, and the closest to my house. But I'll probably be on board with one midwife or another within 2 weeks.
Interviews are now scheduled for Saturday and Tuesday with other midwives
