Leah Scott-Kirby

I am a 22 year old writer, traveler, and all around artist. LeahScottKirby.com

[leahscottkirby]

My mind goes blurry when I drink. The words don’t work so smoothly with one another. I can’t help but wonder if it’s my mind in this muddled state, this fuzzy state, that keeps them from doing so or if I never had any sense of capability to ever really do it in the first place.

Stephen King says to say what you want to say the way you want to say it, first. I have always worried that I try too hard, or that my prose sounds too formal -- like I’m writing an email to my boss. I wonder if there could possibly be some kind of happy medium there that I’m missing.

Sometime in the next two weeks, a large plane will be flying me over several state-lines and into Colorado. I’ll land on those snowy planes, I’ll be picked up by my absolute best friends, and I will spend a week showered by genuine love and appreciation and I truly cannot wait to feel that way again. Not that I don’t now, but it’s different when it comes from your friends. The friends that have known you so long but haven’t seen you in forever.

It’s interesting to me that my poetry is so simple, I eliminate words as I go, and then when I write prose — when I write stories, it feels like I’m doing the opposite.

Should I be teaching? Should I be an English teacher? I could see myself doing that. Is it too late for me? Is there any way I could continue down that path, or a different path for that matter. I need credentials, I need a degree, I want my Master’s. I don’t have anything to show. 

[leahscottkirby]

Patience

I believe I’ve come to the point in my life where I am learning the importance of patience. It feels as if my life, up until this point, has been this hurried attempt at achieving everything I can to be where I have dreamt of being. All my years of schooling, from a time that it started to matter up until my last day at UCSB, feel like a hurried blur. Elementary school, check - middle school, check - high school, check - university, check! Boom. Done. Did it. But, did what? What was the point of running through this structured, informative mess? Where was I thinking I would wind up? And why did I think it would all happen so quickly. I think that hit me as I was finishing up school and so I took to flying - literally, overseas. I thought, well, now I’m free. Now that I’m done doing what I was supposed to do, in order to get where I wanted to be, which I guess was just to not be where I was, I can choose to be anywhere. But, obviously, that isn’t true either. We can have careers that take us places, we can make a career out of taking ourselves places, we can stay in one place and have a career there, we can have no career and stay put or find a way to live as nomads, but none of it is without the application of time and effort. And I don’t think its an uncommon perception, either. I think a lot of us draft up these programs for ourselves, these processes, with the idea that as long as we do A and B, we will most definitely achieve C. But that’s just not how it works. We can accomplish what we put our minds to, I have no objection to that idea, but its not quite so simple as A, B, and C. I almost said it’s not as simple as the alphabet, but that’s pretty complicated, itself, lets be honest. I want a family. I want to travel. I want to own a coffee shop. I want to write and I want to be published. I want a lot of things. What I’m realizing though, at this stage in my life, is that there are a lot more steps to take to get there. And as often as it feels as if I’m headed up the wrong staircase, I have to remind myself that I’m doing pretty damn well so far. I am becoming more aware of what my body can take, what my mind can take, what my heart can take, from day to day - in the workplace, at home, with the people around me. And really, I think that’s what everyone should be focusing on. Not our external goals of where we want to be or what we want to be doing, but where we are within ourselves, what we are doing within ourselves. Because then we can better understand the importance of patience and the gravity of giving ourselves time to grow, to cope, to breathe it all in. I will own my shop one day, I will see so many beautiful places in my lifetime, I will share the happiest of moments with my family, and I will be successful within my own heart and my own mind and my body will be so grateful for what I’ve allowed myself to do and become.

That’s what matters. That’s where I need to be.

[leahscottkirby]

Him

I have found the man that spins me around his finger, walking blissfully down the street, any street, any time, simply because we can Our life is a synchronized dance, stepping in and out of tune with our surroundings I have found the man who tells me his deepest secrets through a single unwavering stare, and even more of the truth when he briefly, quickly glances away Our life is a novel – a story held securely in precious, delicate palms I have found the man who holds me in a way that assures me I will never be tossed aside – in a way that lingers on for days, yet constantly causes me to crave more Our life is soft silky skin melting over steaming stones, breathable and pure and fully nourished I have found the man who yearns for me at the same rate that I do him I have found the man who makes crude, playful jokes in an effortlessly polite and creative manner I have found the father, the lover, the best friend I have found the man with strong hands, the man with sturdy thighs, the man with open ears and a sultry, sophisticated mouth I have found the man I have been searching for I have his perfect body in my arms I have his sweet head cradled in my hands I have his forehead soft beneath my lips And the best part is I wasn’t even looking He just appeared

[leahscottkirby]

Wild and uncertain moments are what I strive for.

Falling hopelessly, endlessly, in love with people and places and books. With fondness and fervor and a touch of insanity. Words well up inside of me they clamor up and out through me in heavy sighs and rolled back eyes. Wondering why it is I live this way consistent shuffling of feet passing by with familiar eyes and robust smiles.

[leahscottkirby]

Today I felt like a child, smothered with flattery as a means of removing a piece of me to stick within your cheek. Tomorrow I want to feel like a woman, smothered with your sweet, lustful breath, returning that piece of me through rough kisses and craned acrobatics.

Desires rise too suddenly from my belly, too eagerly demanding immediate satisfaction. Build me up but do not let me down, I beg of you.

[leahscottkirby]

I love you, dearly.

[leahscottkirby]

The snake slithers up my leg Leaving subtle burn marks upon my thigh Your hand placed upon my knee Fingers tapping tunes To songs involving bells Whistles My breath escapes me in short Soft Sighs I feel warm Arms lifted high above my head Resting easy on linen clouds Fist sized rocks piled upon silken skin Purity, weaknesses vulnerably exposed Bracing For sudden trickling wisps of Fingertips Tapping tunes To songs Involving bells And whistles When tradition calls For white gowns White collars Gold bands Words from separate mouths Coming together To form a steady sealant A bond A memory seeping into the crevices of dark colored lips Absorbed by plump roses Cradled by milky chins

[leahscottkirby]

Falling.

[leahscottkirby]

When all you want to do is lie on your floor all day but you also need to be productive or you'll feel like shit.

[leahscottkirby]

I feel like such shit when I find myself disregarding the inevitability of those around me having their own lives.

[wnq-writers]

I think too much, I see too much, I feel too much, but I speak so little.

raspberrywisdom (via wnq-writers)

Me in one sentence.

[leahscottkirby]

I am eager to be eaten alive. Leah Scott-Kirby

[leahscottkirby]

I have conflicting fears Simultaneously dwelling over the overbearing idea of commitment while recognizing the overwhelming possibility of losing the person I was meant to spend my life with because I didn’t allow myself to experience that kind of happiness.

[leahscottkirby]

Life is full of fleeting moments and my heart is full of rancid romanticism, stinging at the tears of time like lime juice to a wound.

Binding together adrenaline soaked memories, endorphin drenched nostalgia, with the searing heat of lust’s branding iron.

All murky water was once clear, but a single step is all it takes to foster disarray.

[leahscottkirby]

Guys

Allow yourself happiness Don't overthink it

[leahscottkirby]

Stretching into spaces 
created for human puzzle pieces. 
Smoothing roughed edges 
to complete an image sought out 
for comfort 
and ease 
and masked blueberry bruises.

Wanton words wildly working their way up her throat, 
clutching at the inner lining, 
pink flesh, 
choking on syllables, 
deep breaths 
escaping her nostrils 
like heavy, tight tourniquets leaving lost limbs to their given fate. 
Short, harsh blows. Sudden, sporadic. Propelled. Caught. Nourished, nestled into flimsy cradles made of skin and sweat.

[leahscottkirby]

Stretching into spaces created for human puzzle pieces. Smoothing roughed edges to complete an image sought out for comfort and ease and masked blueberry bruises. Wanton words wildly working their way up her throat, clutching at the inner lining, pink flesh, choking on syllables and deep breaths escaping her nostrils like heavy tourniquets leaving lost limbs to their fate. Short, harsh blows.

[leahscottkirby]

Today I felt like a child, smothered with flattery as a means of removing a piece of me to stick within your cheek. Tomorrow I want to feel like a woman, smothered with your sweet, lustful breath, returning that piece of me through rough kisses and craned acrobatics.

Desires rise too suddenly from my belly, too eagerly demanding immediate satisfaction. Build me up but do not let me down, I beg of you.