Natalie Scatorccio x reader
Thank you @deenayw this request! I really appreciate it! (I’m not so sure how to add your request on the post so if anyone could please tell me how, that would be awesome! I’m still new to posting on here)
Warnings - Panic attack, barefoot in snow, lesbians.
|| Being in the wilderness is taking a toll on Natalie, she feels as though she can’t tell her teammates or even you how her mind is affecting her, she feels trapped. ||
It was colder during these days. Like the sun had fallen into a hole that couldn’t been traced back to find. The fire from the plane no longer appeared in the blacks of Natalie’s eyes, but she’s still here. Everyone is.
The plane that should of taken the team to nationals had crash—it imprinted on Natalie’s mind, the screams, the tears…the wishing of life, all still ringing in her ears, banging against her like a sound of a gun shot. the blonde could still picture the the sight out of the window. Down. It was just going down. So fast her mind barely had time to process survival, she never thought she’d have to.
The feelings was worse than yells, worse than the nights fists hit her cheek bone, those screams were different, she was asking…they were begging.
And so within her mindset, within her heart that had grown heavier and heavier, she’d never thought there’d be light, she never felt it.
And when the snow had fallen it was harder to hide, the confined space of the cabin had hindered the blondes ability to break.
And it only had gotten stronger and stronger.
And she would try to remember. To see your face in her mind, it would calm her like no one else could. She would remember your touch, your smile, your kiss.
The most Natalie could do was draw her fingers over your palms, her nails scratching over your arms to give comfort and warmth that she could not feel alone, when the sun had fallen behind the mountains, when the only light was the candles she would break, and you were there.
You were always there, before the fire, and before the dark. You had always comforted the blonde, you had even made her blonde.
The memory was clear, it was present—she could feel your fingers massaging against her scalp, the bleach burning her head along with both your noses. The dark brunette had turned to a brassy orange, and then a blonde.
But the thought of the memory had only made the want worse…more difficult to contain. And so as your sleeping body was breathing in and out, the Scatorccio girl watches your lips, your nose, your calming eyes. Your face and body that showed a certain peace she knew she’d never felt before.
And she wanted that. She needed it.
Natalie swallowing her pride, she breathes in through her nose, and out. She bites her cheek, she swallows. The girl looks over the ceiling of the cabin.
It was a strange feeling. One second trying to figure out the exact cause of her indifference. The reasons why you had look so different when sleeping, how you could become a certain type of calm in a place like this. And another second of…warmth? Not the kind of warmth you find when walking outside on a summer day, not the kind of heat that warmed your body with joy or the feeling of the hot water on Icy skin.
The girl’s body shivers from the heat, sweat immediately upon her skin, she removes the blanket that layed against her legs. Her hand shakes to her heart. It wasn’t normal, she didn’t understand. This feeling, this fear. This heat.
Natalie couldn’t breathe.
A soft groan escapes her quiet voice, her throat cracking within the distance feeling in her chest. Natalie rolls over and carefully not to make any sound.
Your face, your eyes, your nose, your lips…
Falling. Natalie felt like she was falling, down and down. She couldn’t even see her feet, the footfalls of her own were a deafening sound, the snow on her feet stung, it felt as though her whole body was swollen with this panic.
Warmth, but the kind when your body flushes out, a relief, a breath. The hands of your own had grabbed her cheeks, it was a peaceful feeling, but only until she tripped back into the world. Into the darkest moment of the life she had to say was true.
Trapped. Natalie Scatorccio was trapped, and this time. Even you couldn’t bring her back.
“Hey..” your voice was almost drowning. It didn’t exist like it did before. “Natalie…come on. Ima need you to breathe, okay?”
And that’s when she woke up. Her hands had grabbed onto the wrist of your bracelet covered hand, she had heard everything, everything was clear. Her heavy breathing reflected a heavier heart. “I’m right here, I’m right here…”
“I…I c-can’t…” the young girl mumbles under the sound of marathon breaths. Your hands travels to Natalie’s, you intertwined both your fingers, your throat drying up on its own as you slowly think.
“Okay…okay breathe with me..” you ask with a small smile. “Baby, look at me..” you mumble as the hand of your love was placed on your chest. The breaths you take were overexaggerated, to the point where your own body moved up and down from them.
But Natalie had followed weakly. Her palm placed onto the heat of your body, the beats of your heart and the feeling of air moving had been pushed into the blonde’s lungs, like oxygen was flowing back into her skin just from the simple sensation.
And though her breaths even out, her mind outshined the light of peace and brought sorrow.
And your bodies touched, the cold air of winter shrunken down to the surface of a shady day, the hug Natalie was brought into had consumed the bitter snow on the ground.
The feeling had subsided, it had not been suppressed—it was known. “You okay?” You whisper in the girls ear, your fingers running through her hair, “it’s okay if you’re not, okay?”
“I’m just cold…” Natalie responded with a sharp shake. Your hands pause and you lean back to take a look at the blonde, her cheeks grown red and pale skin cold. “Really cold.”
You give her a smile, and not some smile that shows pity, a smile that shows joy, that makes joy. Natalie looks at you, she really looks at you. “Thank you—” she cuts herself off with a lazy kiss, her breath taken away from the lips of your own, the lips she’s remembered fondly of.
Her face, cold, weak, sweaty. Kissing you Natalie Scatorccio smiles, within the warmth you give, she rests.
With your hold, she feels free.
