Elisabeth

"Whoever loves Christ and other people truly lives life. Life without Christ is death; it is hell, not life. Life is Christ"- Saint Porphyrios

[learningandlivinginlove]

When things get tough

It shouldn't surprise anyone to learn that life is full of ups and downs. How is it possible to deal with it? In my life right now, I can find big problems that require a longer period to fix or to even move towards normality again- if that can even be achieved. However, alongside these problems, there are also the little inconveniences. At first, the problems I was dealing with felt colossal, I didn't even stop to account for the fact that I had such a loving support system. Temporarily losing faith in God, I found myself lost and wallowing unable to comprehend how these things could happen to me.

That's the problem with a lot of people, we all have it in our heads that this bad or unexpected stuff won't happen to us. In reality, that's not the case- it is just as likely to happen to you as it is the next person.

The first thing I debated doing was taking a step back from church, but I know full well that wouldn't have been beneficial. Right now is a time where, I am in need of God's love and kindness. So stepping away wouldn't have been a good option for me. I have spent so much time talking through the situations and my priest here lit a candle for me today and reminded me that God is always with you and all will be well- sometimes it just needs a little time.

Thankfully, I can say that things are moving forward and this slow journey back to normality is beginning to take place.

[learningandlivinginlove]

Letting go of things

Understandably letting things go when they’ve played their course is difficult, whether they’re bad for us, or whether we’ve just out grown them. Sometimes letting go, doesn’t mean we are letting go forever- perhaps it’s just for a while. Throughout life we are growing and changing as people. This is what is intended, no one is meant to stay the same forever.

I myself have made some big changes in the last couple of years, as well as encountering things that have changed which affect my life. This is natural and sometimes we have to find ways to cope with changes. But what happens when we change and perhaps what we have now is not meant to be taken into the next chapter of our lives. Maybe it is, and that thing just hasn’t made that step of change yet. But just as natural as changes are, ups and downs are also part of our course. Life is hard, but life is also beautiful.

My church life keeps me going. Being here has taught me much on religious matters. This in turn has given me a new perspective in an academic sense, seen as I’m now back to being a student, and also on relationships- be that in a romantic sense or in a completely platonic sense. Now this is where the idea of letting things go comes into play. I pray so much on the matter of people remaining with me- selfish as that is-but some I just cannot bare to lose. What then?

In all honesty, I am not entirely sure where this is going. I truly hoped that by writing down what I was feeling would aid me in finding a solution to the issues that face me, but I see now that right now I need to trust in God and ask him for his input and guidance.

[learningandlivinginlove]

On Being Human

Perhaps this is the wrong time to type this up, when the wound is still fresh. God teaches us love and forgiveness, and to truly forgive someone when they've hurt you so badly is a difficult task. I am, however, not someone who blames someone fully for an issue. Lately, I have had a lot of built up anger which can be so hard to keep in check. Anger is such a toxic emotion that can eat you up from the inside out- I never wanted to be this person.

What causes this anger? I'm not sure, I guess I'm just another one of these broken people. One of the things my priest constantly says, which I think is so beautiful, "much like people go to the doctors for physical ailments, we come to church for a spiritual ailments, we are all broken and God loves us and can help us be well." Such a beautiful thing to say. Having that spiritual guidance in my life helps, and having a church, as well as the community that comes with it, gives me a sense of calm- rest from this constant bubbling anger that really is like a ticking time bomb.

I guess its our flaws that make us human, but I assure you I was never this way inclined in the past. Perhaps the pressure and heartache catches up, and while yes I am human, I cannot this negativity and despair engulf me. That darkness, it feels, will interrupt my path to God, and all I want is for him to be that best friend and to feel his love in my very broken heart.

So my message to you this evening is that, whatever is making you feel down and making you despair. Know your worth my love, Jesus died on that cross- that is your worth and you are loved and beautiful. God is never angry at us, only sad for us. Open your heart to him, feel the fullness of his love.

Elisabeth x

[purpleisnotacolor]

Kid's stories need to stop portraying faith as a magical force that gets you whatever you set your mind after, when so much of faith involves submission.

To use my life as an example...

"Faith" isn't believing you can do it super hard until it happens. Shouting "I believe!" while you race your siblings won't make you win, even if Disney said so in every underdog story.

Faith is how you learn the backstroke. You need to go limp, and you can't fight the water. You have to give up control to do it, and yet it is freeing and relaxing once you do.

It's trusting that your Taekwondo teacher knows the right distance for you to land the kick, not believing you're already in the right spot hard enough. You'll never learn the art if you never let someone else lead.

It's staying still and enduring the pain so that your friends can bug-spray the yellow-jackets off you while they're still stinging you, instead of trying to brush them off yourself and get hurt more.

---

And all of these hands-on examples of faith from my life were doubting!

The backstroke? Took me years to learn because I could never figure out the entry point. I couldn't just relax so I could relax and not worry about danger to not make it dangerous. It took safe, shallow water and literal, mechanical instruction (going limp) to finally do it.

The Taekwondo kick? I literally said "that doesn't look right, but I'll trust you" and my teacher was right! Even though it didn't look right to me, someone else knew better, and I let them lead even though my gut thought they were wrong.

The yellow-jackets? I was in pain! I wanted to brush them off and run away, I was twitching with the urge to mindlessly flail around and do it myself. But I knew there as nothing I could do, and I had to leave it to someone else.

It's not about wanting it (success, safety, love, salvation, you name it) hard enough, it's about accepting it when it's given.

[worshipgifs]

[dailydoseofstuf]

[learningandlivinginlove]

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The idea you can put a label on the people around you seems so judgmental, how can we, inferior to God label and judge those around us. We are all battling our own demons. My fiancé said to me earlier this evening that we were bad Christians. While this may be true, the switch from secular human beings to Christians that have to follow so many new rules we had never encountered before is one of those tasks that takes time to stick. I am fully aware of my wrong doings and consistently pray from the Lord's forgiveness.

My point here is, if you are truly repentant, God forgives even if those sins you struggling to conquer keep coming up in confession. At the end of the day, it is not for us to judge others but to centre our focus on our loving relationship on God. Therefore, if you are feeling discouraged I have this to say- do not give up, God's love will conquer all, do not focus on how good someone is or how bad as you have no idea of where they have come from and what struggles they face.

I hope this finds somebody who needs to hear this, and feels comfort in knowing that whatever your past and your current sins God loves you.

Please pray for me.

sending my love and prayers,

Elisabeth

[learningandlivinginlove]

Living a Life in Christ

I have classed myself as an Orthodox Christian for almost two years now. Delving into the Orthodox way of life, I will admit hasn't been easy due to the attitudes of non Christians surrounding me.

Ever since I first stepped into an Orthodox church two years ago I was in awe of the calming blue walls and the intense feeling that it was a place close to God. It really touched my heart, clearing my head of all demons. Admittedly, I knew following this path would be an adjustment from the secular path I was on prior. A huge change and in all honesty I am still struggling with some of the sins that are seen as normal in today society.

So I have decided on documenting my progress in leading a life dedicated to Christ, learning and loving.

sending love and prayers to you all,

Elisabeth