You were never mine,
But I was always yours, even if I never really was.
Not today Justin
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@leblacksuperman
You were never mine,
But I was always yours, even if I never really was.
I donāt know why I desire to be loved by you so bad. But I want it gone. I want that feeling and desire to be obliterated from existence. And God will be the one to do it .
My heart hurts man
"for you, i would" is such a gentle and sweet love language like no maybe i wouldn't usually do this but i would love to do it if it would make you happy.
Welp.. Iām in love again. Thatās why Iām back. Because I canāt openly talk about it. But I feel safe here. Only this time my mind and my heart are both aligned.
I tried to not have these feelings. Because I fell in love with our friendship with over 8+ years of trial and error. We finally got it right. But⦠during that time. I learned who she is. In pretty much every season. And I love everything. The good, the bad, and everything in between.
But weāre just friends. And I value that much more now. To be whatever she needs me to be? A friend, a brother, a mentor, a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, a bffš , anything. . . . . You would think it hurts but it doesnāt. But you know what does hurt? Seeing her BE hurt over and over again by the same type of men that cannot see her as I do.. she is the most phenomenal human being Iāve ever met. Every story she tells me are bad ones. Whereās the good men? The ones that learn how to love you correctly⦠the ones that want to take the time to actually learn you. .
Iām so scared⦠literally terrified that one day ⦠I may have to either see less of you or remove you from my life completely ⦠because if I donāt .. Iāll never be able to move on. And that isnāt fair to the next person who wants a chance at my heart .. is it worth sacrificing a potential love for a forever friendship? I want to say yes. You may not love me the way that I love you BUT.. I know that you DO love me. You show me all the time. You pay attention to me. You know what I like and dislike. You know what brings me happiness and makes me laugh. You know what angers me and makes me cry. . You learned how to love me. And itās rare for people to care enough to do that. I platonized all this love that I want to give to someone someday and gave it to you. Because I know that romanticizing it will only scare you away.
At some point I thought to myself.. itās better to have her as a friend in my life than nothing at all. So for years I stayed there. In that friend zone. But then.. I got to know you for real. The real you.
I am the prototype. The proof that your teachings, your ideals, your mind, and your love.. is the blueprint. And I am happy to be walking proof. Too many people think you are too much and ask for too much but you know what I think? I think they just arenāt enough for you. You deserve so much from your friends and love interests. Your love is euphoric. And it makes me sad that people think youāre crazy or ā¦. Idk. Iām here to tell you that you are NOT crazy. And I will walk this earth for the rest of my life being an advocate of your idea of love.
Because I love you.
And everyone else should too.
i hope so
Itās been a while.
You broke my heart. You made feel so important. You were so invested. Then just like that, you do a full 180 so fast. Iām hurting. You made me feel so good. Like i mattered to you. Like you were going to be here for a long time. And im trying to be understanding because I know everything that youāre going through. But like⦠there has to be a line somewhere. Or a show of care for me. I miss you.. damn you broš
I will ALWAYS answer for you babygirl, canāt wait to go on this trip with you mi amor š¤
Whatās been up with me craving so much affection lately. . I feel soft. I hate it. Like it legit makes me sad.
I got you stink šš»
I hope to call you mine one dayš thank you for the daily smiles you bring me
Been a while
I want cuddles
Itās really time tho.