I feel like a monster

inactive

[lee-on-line]

Ruze told me to draw I can't say no to that damn it!

[lee-on-line]

Shameless promotion (?)

I know I haven't been writing for a few months now, and while I would love to keep writing, I have no real motivation of ideas for stuff, but I've been trying some streaming lately, and while it's not the best quality since I have limited resources, I've been enjoying streaming whenever I can, if you'll like, you can follow me on twitch @/koebi_chan_

Of course since English isn't my first language, the streams are bilingual, but if anyone is interested in watching me just suffer with games I'm horrible at then you're welcome

[lee-on-line]

Okay but DAMN

[lee-on-line]

Missing you for the rest of my days.

[lee-on-line]

Bruh x,c

[mackjlee9]

Some people just don't get it .-.

[lee-on-line]

Bleached my roots and dyed them red, that's all I did lol

[lee-on-line]

Kiss kiss, baby, hush hush, baby

(also why people literally want big lips I fucking hate mine lol)

[lee-on-line]

Veo que somos los dos igual de ansiosos, solo que él si lo expresa :v

[mackjlee9]

Hey y'all, buckle up because you're about to go through a brief explanation of how stressed I've been since August lol

So... Lot of things have happened in few weeks 🙃🙃

Starting with how ya boi met a streamer while playing my hero ultra rumble

Ya boi became friends with that streamer

Ya boi developed a crush on that streamer

Said streamer confessed to ya boi about two weeks later

Ya boi began having doubts about him and got cold feet quite a few times

Ya boi messed up but streamer guy was nice

Ya boi was able to confront his mum and got permission to go out at his big age

Ya boi had his first date and first kiss

Ya boi definitely enjoyed the date despite all the insecurities going on inside his head

Ya boi was happy for a few days

And then...

Streamer guy became turning more and more distant

Ya boi started panicking and overthinking, however ya boi can't communicate properly and didn't say anything, causing stress and doubt to pile on his mind

About a week later, ya boi got heartbroken by streamer guy

So now ya boi has relationship trauma

If you were wondering why ya boi wasn't writing or just posting about his everyday life...

Now you know why 😃👍🏻

[mackjlee9]

The situation with the girl varies, sometimes we're chill, other times she complains I "replaced her" or sum idk and idgaf

[lee-on-line]

Let real quick just...

*goes back to liking that one guy from 11 years ago*

[lee-on-line]

So... Things aren't great.

He keeps insisting to meet up, but my mom won't let me, I know I'm 22 I'm already an adult I can do whatever I want, but that's the thing, she has been able to control every aspect of my life since I was 4 so... Rebelling against her would only result in me hating her even more.

I tell him I can't, he tells me to sneak out, since my mom isn't home on the weekends, but my siblings are snitches and they will tell on me if I leave, even if it's for just ten minutes.

My mom finding out I disobeyed her could result in me either, getting hit or, being kicked out. Both are bad, but one is way worse than the other.

I don't know how to make him understand we just can't see each other in person, probably not for a long time, I wanna meet up with him, but damn, he's being too pushy and I don't know what to do.

I can either go out and have fun, or I can continue living trapped in my own home by my own mother. Going out does scare me, a lot, y'all have no idea how scared I am at the thought of leaving home.

The fuck do I do?

[mackjlee9]

Sounds like he really likes you!! Please continue to update us on this hehe <3

I'm glad y'all are enjoying my panic state right now with this guy hehe

[mackjlee9]

Who is this boy ur talking abt?? 👀👀

Gossiping, eh??? I like it 👍

He's just a rather new twitch streamer, who I just so happened to become friends after seeing each other on the lobbies of a battle royal game way too many times. He's really nice. Though he is a streamer and I don't wanna get too parasocial 😅 he is very cute tho

[mackjlee9]

One of the girls he plays with everyday on stream seems to hate me 💀

And it's not because we argued or sum, she just... Doesn't like that he pays attention to me? I guess?

She seems kinda parasocial ngl 🤷

Tho since I don't like confrontation and arguing, I will distance myself from him for a few days, see what happens.

[lee-on-line]

Dude... If only I had blue eyes!!!

My hair is a mess btw don't mind it