(This is a side blog!) Please, do not repost my art without my permission. may use art as icon or banner with credit given. This blog is a mixture of my writing and art. I'm a multi-fandom creative so you will see me jumping around a lot! Have an easier day and thank you for stopping by! ★RULES★ . ★Buy me Ko-Fi★ . ★More Links★
Hi! I decided to move to Bluesky officially. My tumblr account is just dead, and I don't have the mental power to do stuff with it anymore :(
Not going to delete my account but just letting y'all know if you see this post, I'm still around. Just on bluesky. Okay byeeeee!!!
Small shop owner of ZomBrainShop! https://bsky.app/profile/zombrainshop.bsky.social
Personal account!! I mainly post fan arts and write fic
I have been thinking a lot... and sadly, leechandoki will be ending??? I don't want to go but with the history I have, and i've been thinking a lot about friends... it just isn't healthy... there is a lot to unpack but mainly, I'm on TikTok doing my own thing there. I livestreamed and mainly been posting vids of me playing marvel. I'm gonna expand it and post other things like doodles I make and maybe fics posts.
Sorry. I've been gone here and coming back... barely getting any notes. It's not a motivation for me. Thank you for following, I meant it with all my heart. Take care all of you!
Diving deep into why I'm dipping the username. I'm still traumatized by a lot of things over the years.
Hello! My name is Aileen, and I'm part of a system! Its suck being a system because either you forget or someone purposely tries to make you forget things. Good or bad, it still sucks.
A terrible split that happened was in 2024, a 29-year-old fuck decided to make it about themselves, completely changing the story and making them the victim, when telling their friends (one of them at the time was 18 while the other was in their 30s), when in reality, I never wanted to break our friendship. I just needed to talk with everyone within my system and figure out why they decided to be an ass to them. Fucker misinterpret it and think it is all their fault that I didn't want to be friends with them. LIKE WHAT!? I'm sorry, are you stupid?? It makes it worse that they are autistic. Why you may ask? Because minors (They're friends with minors and even went as far as to say minors should be allowed to look at porn, fucking gross) and adults babied them. They even go around screaming on how they are going to sue people if it doesn't go their way. Their 30s year old friend, decided to act like a justice person, going as far as to get as many discord servers they're in/own to report me. It was a nightmare. They're defence. Oh you made a 2 hour video. OF ME SHOWING RECEIPT??? Oh but you expose their name! That they put on everyone social they have and even go as far as to say their name on the internet??? Are you stupid???? MF even went as far as to change their bio to hide that they use their name on the internet to make their statement true. It was manipulating! Like are you fucking kidding me!?
So that nightmare happened. Been scared to be active because their friends are crazy! Oh noooo... I used a term that is bad. BUT IT IS TRUE. THEY. ARE. CRAZY.
Moving on. Month or so passes. These two friends are dating. They have a bit of a problem. Friend that I have known for years was haven't problem with their partner, so I tried to reassure them and help a bit. Blah Blah Blah, their partner decided to be manipulative a bit. I didn't like it, but I'm gonna brush it off because in the end. I shouldn't be part of this. I forgot what happened but all I can remember is that... they deleted stuff because they didn't want to say anything. So eventually, I decided to delete stuff, and they didn't like that I did that. Big fight happened with friend and their partner. It made my friend sad, I was gonna get to the bottom of it. It was mainly a communication issue on both end. I got in the middle of it. Soon, it became too much that I had a mental break. My system then were stern with me informing me that we cannot handle another mental break. We had too much to deal with and are still recovering. Welp... we got a message... thought it was someone else... it wasn't... they were asking me for help with blender... I was trying... this was the beginning of me feeling like a fraud... blah blah. We were trying to avoid friend's partner, because it was too much at the time... yeah... so they went and said "I thought you knew how to use blender" and that made me pause and rethink if I truly know things... It made me sad and bf at the time (who is part of my system) took us out of the call. We didn't know it was friend's partner in the call. We thought it was someone else. Blah Blah, my mind broke when my bf tried to explain that friend's partner was in the call and not other friend's partner. It broke a lot of friendships. My mind ended up breaking and this was when I had to break my long time friendship.
I then fell into depression, because bf never came back. He was also recovering, but soon he went dormant for a long... long time. I had to end the relationship since I didn't want to wait anymore. He wanted to talk when he came back, but months have already passed. It was too late to fix anything. We were both damage from everything.
Skipping to the future. I got AS on VRChat by an ex... great... I was desperate. He seems really nice and when he talked about stuff, I just listened. It was nice... until he slowly... kept talking about sex... over and over again. I wanted to spend time with him. Sex. I was to watch a movie. Sex. I want to just sit in silent with him. Sex. He was just... filled with so much sex on the brain. I was grossed out. He even went out of his way to talk to friends when we first broke up, and they all stated that I was using him for sex. This made me realized... oh... he wasn't telling them the full truth... I bet he never told them that he forced me to have makeup sex... I kept saying no over and over again, and he kept pushing me over and over again. I hated it. I was an object to him, and he was offended that I said that. He was... 38... age different is massively different... I know. But I was wearing rose colored glasses. He would talk about things that were so interesting. But hell... he even went as far as to say "I'm a man, I can't just turn it off!" like sir... I'm a woman... and I can turn it off. It's not that hard. He even made me hate an animal avi I liked because he somehow got horny by it.
So... that's it. I'm just... trying to hide on the internet. Terrified of people and looking out for my mental health. I did reach out to my old friend of years. But after we had a vrchat talk with their partner as well... and seeing how everyone felt. I sadly... have to distance myself from her. It's sad, but... I'm the problem. I don't want to mess her life up. She has her partner to be by her side. My journey with her had sadly come to an end. Whether I like it or not. It's the sad truth. I read about bird theory and man... it really is my time to let go and move on...
Once again. Thank you for reading. Take care. And I hope to see you all again.
I'm going to delete the message and block the user because this is just not okay. Leaving a question like this on the fanfic they want to read more of still isn't okay, but I'll go out of my way to answer it. However, they decided to head to my other fanfic (I do not care if they read it at this point) and make this comment. Thinking if they say "please" at the end would make it better.
It's rude. You are not asking politely, you are demanding in the false sense of looking nice.
Why I haven't been that active, gonna try, but right now finding a job is draining my motivation and currently fighting that seasonal depression! Take care of yourself okay!
TW: SA Mention and will be talked about a little bit. Please read at your own risk. Be safe please.
TW: SA Mention and will be talked about a little bit. Please read at your own risk. Be safe please.
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Can't sleep because coming to
TLDR is under the cut.
Ex, SA me on multiple occasion on VRCHAT. I have the headset so it is more personal than what people on Desktop know/feel. We got done with an event and I wanted to see a movie, we went to a movie world and watched Aliens since I am a fan of the franchise. He knows I write fanfics and wanted to know what I write. I told him "Just characters" because I didn't feel comfy telling him. He went and tried to search up characters as if it was an actual character from a show. I told him what I was fixated on (It was Eustass Kid from One Piece) and he went to change into a male anime avatar that was buff. At first I thought it was a joke, since he was showing off the jiggle phyics of the mucles moving. He then got naked and got on top of me. Still thinking this is a joke, I played along and he got closer and started to groan and growl. I started to feel uncomfy but didn't want to be rude since I kept telling myself, this is just a joke we're having fun... He asked if I had an avi that looks like me and it is this one...
He wanted me to take my clothes off and I don't remember if I said no but my clothes stayed on and when I stood, he saw a bit of skin near my waist and poked at it saying "There's a bit of skin there." I left because I had a migraine and was dehydrated.
Skipping around, he disrespected my "No" and "Not Today" when I told him I didn't want to have sex. He is horny, 24/7... Y'all don't date a gooner. I was blinded by love okay, I was stupid and just blocking that shit out and focusing on the fact that he was making me laugh and smile. He kept groaning, growling, and touching me because he wanted sex. We ended up doing it after I said "Fine" and he admited he was doing that to get me to change my mind. I didn't know touch myself that night when we did it. Hell, I was do busy dreaming about writing that Killer fanfic.
Skipping around again, He blamed me for the ERP since the only reason he was doing it was because I wanted to do it... I never... once said let ERP. He was the one that did it first and kept pushing it. I just wanted to cuddle, I never bring up sex. I never wanted to ERP. I just wanted to cuddle and hold him in my arms when he suggested we watch One Piece. I was not leading to sex, he went full sex mode. I just chose to lay down, he got on top of me.
Finally, there is an avi I really love. This is a Gryphon avi... HE SOMEHOW GOT REALLY HORNY WHEN WE WERE SITTING BY EACH OTHER WATCHING AN ANIME. HE STRAIGHT UP TOLD ME HE WAS ROCK HARD SEE US IN THIS AVI SITTING BY EACH OTHER. I felt like an object every time he kept bringing up sex.
It's 3 in the morning. I added more words here because on Bsky character limit. Sorry, but anyway, be safe...
I keep my system a secret because one, it's call minding your business and two, we're working on ourselves and don't like to really announce ourselves to the world (especially after some terrible/traumatizing moments in our lives. If you know, you know.)
PS, headmate found us a partner and he is nice. I'm addicted to Marvel Rivals because of him :')
He doesn't talk about sex 24/7 or bring up sex mods...
Instead of doing NanoWriMo I will be doing something where I try to aim for writing an actual average of 400 words a day for the month of November in memory of Terry Pratchett, who as far as I know never thought telling a computer to write a book for you is a good way to hone your skills as a writer.
I LOVE THIS. THIS is the spirit of NaNoWriMo: to invent a challenge to make you write.
If I may add some ideas:
The 666 challenge: Writing six pages a day in a month (no matter how shitty) because Stephen King writes 6 pages a day. Equating it with the devil is to explain why it's shit sometimes.
The 420 challenge: Get high. Write 420 words a day.
THE OTHER 51 challenge: Write 51 words a day because, yes, Hamilton wrote 51 essays in six months, but that bitch was crazy, and you can write 51 words without feeling like you're running out of time.
The Fibonacci challenge: Try to write as many words a day as required to meet the Fibonacci sequence. So, 100 on day one. 200 on day two. 300 on day three. Etcetera. If you don't hit the number in the sequence, you can respond "DO I LOOK LIKE A MATHIMATICIAN TO YOU"
If you wanna NaNo your heart out at 1667 a day, absolutely do that. Enjoy it! But if start talking now if you're looking for a group who will join you and not try to fuck AI up its server-hole.
Yep! Fuck YCH Commishes. Don’t use that site. They are an ass. Especially this Varnise or however you type that username. Fucking asshole kicked me out of the server because I called out his bullshit of being an ass. He wasn’t helpful at all always assuming EVERYONE knew everything when no dumbass. Literally make a FAQ page even if people don’t asked it too often there are people that are just doing stuff that isn’t safe like wow okay. Like i never knew there were two different links for CRM but one mod actually cleared the air. And when I said Varnis don’t interact with me because from glimpses I saw by lurking on the server, you are an ass. And then I get kicked. For speaking, once. ONCE IN THAT GOD DAMN SERVER. Wow! Definitely going to request to have my account deleted because again. Don’t use that site and fuck that wow, someone got butthurt for being called out when I basically gave them the middle finger.
Anyway, doing commissions is rough for me... so. Gonna open my inbox, if any of y'all want to DM me about commissioning art or writing a one-shot, hit me up. I only accept PayPal invoice and USD.
Here is my carrd with prices: Freelance Carrd
Here is my Newgrounds: Link
If you want to commission me but not use Tumblr as a way to communicate, you can also create a commission submission and join my queue: Link (I recommend going on this route since one, it'll be easier and two, you might be lucky, and I'll throw in a discount and more options for you!)
Okay! Have an easy day! I'm going to write for a bit before I dipped again for a week for a family matter. Whoosh!
I forgot to put on the auction that it would be cross-platform, so next auction for slot 2 and 3 well be cross-platform. For slot 1, so sorry, but please bid on the site! 24 hour auction run! Will upload the 2 and 3 slot when I wake up! Good luck!
Hello! It has been so long! Let us get right into it! I've been feeling burnout as of late, struggling to find my motive to get work done so
edit: RESALE IS IN EFFECT! STARTING PRICE IS AT $1.25 USD
MS Paint Auction for Slot #2! If you don't have an account just send me a message in my ask box, and I'll put it in my replies and place the bid for you! If you want to be anon do not click the anon just tell me you want to be anon give me an emoji, and I'll place the bid for you!
[Copy and paste from first auction, Slot #1] Hello! It has been so long! Let us get right into it! I've been feeling burnout as of late, s
I forgot to put on the auction that it would be cross-platform, so next auction for slot 2 and 3 well be cross-platform. For slot 1, so sorry, but please bid on the site! 24 hour auction run! Will upload the 2 and 3 slot when I wake up! Good luck!
Hello! It has been so long! Let us get right into it! I've been feeling burnout as of late, struggling to find my motive to get work done so
edit: RESALE IS IN EFFECT! STARTING PRICE IS AT $1.25 USD
I want to write so badly... but I also need to focus on work, and I'm like... why can't I write and not worry about that...
I have also been thinking. I might need to return to twitch to gain an audience again since YT is cut out of my life. Love you Tumblr peeps, but you all are either not seeing my posts or are you here for a different reason, which I am not judging. Valid. I just need to put some eggs in a different basket if I'm not seeing any stable revenue ya know :(
I have updated my commission post. I'll be putting writing on a bit of pause and work on that bit by bit. I'll be shifting into focusing on my income now.
I'll be working on getting my discord server up and running so I can make discord communications an option, because I do not feel comfortable just handing out my discord like that :/ Sorry, too many scams and meeting terrible people clicking links in servers I'm in. Not gonna risk that. Nope.
Quick mini rant. YCH Commishes been giving me the ick as of late.
Don't get me wrong, the moderation team are all volunteers but damn... they really have no social skills. Their wiki rules are confusing, and the discord server rules are also confusing.
They have the community option open so they need to revamp their discord server and turn their report list into a forum so that way it's more organize, and the same person doesn't get yelled at twice because it was drowned out by people reporting users for breaking the rules.
It so disorganizes, and I may not know what is happening behind the scene, but if someone is literally waiting for about half a year to have their ticket looked at, it's not their fault for crashing out that you are literally holding their way of income.
I've been dreading on using YCH Commishes. It's an easy way for me to get clients but damn... my reputation on it from fail auctions is affecting my way of getting clients because people look at that. As much as they say to take that reputation with a grain of salt... it means a lot for a client to see it in the positive and not in the negative.
Anyway, that's my mini rant. I think in the future I'm going to open my inbox again just so I can talk to clients with ease. I have it turned off because one, people were annoying me and being rude and two, scammers...
Have an easy day and to the mods of YCH Commishes, if you end up seeing this. I get it. You all have so many people breaking the rules and going places from telegram to discord just so they can get some attention to get their ticket looked at. But if they are doing that constantly, and it's literally so many people, then your system is shit and needs to be fixed. It is not their fault that their way of income is being blocked for nearly half a year, and you get back to them telling them to stay in their ticket.
It's rude, I'm sorry. But it is the truth and I bet you all know the system is shit.
