Why is there so much anger when a person says they don't like Azula? She is supposed to be a (the) villain? She killed the protagonist? She attempted to kill others? Why is this controversial?
I'm 15 so I understand the idea that she's a minor and everything and that Ozai emotionally abused her and her mother abandoning her didn't help. Mai was also emotionally abused though by her parents and didn't kill Aang? I'm confused by the huge pushback I get when I just mention I don't particularly care for Azula.
Okay, so this is an interesting ask, anon. I'll try my best to answer it, but as I've never ventured into that side of discourse before, take this with a grain of salt.
Now, before I answer this, I'll have to establish where I'm coming from. Personally, I appreciate Azula as a character, but she's not my favorite - not by a long shot. And as far as I'm aware, my fandom friends are also not that fond of her either. Thus, I'm giving my opinion based on my own understanding of Azula and how fandom tends to act around characters like hers.
I think a lot of people enjoy Azula's character because - and you've mentioned it yourself - she's a villain, yes, but she's a tragic villain who could've turned out differently had her childhood had gone a different path. I think that's one of the main things we, the audience, see when we learn about Azula's backstory: if just one thing had changed back then, would she have turned out the way she had in the show? It doesn't excuse all the atrocities she committed in the show, but that tragedy makes her sympathetic to the audience and establishes her as a complex character - not that Mai isn't complex, but I'll give my thoughts on why Azula is hailed while Mai is often pushed to the side.
Another reason why I think people like her is that they might also find themselves relating to certain parts of her childhood, while not necessarily relating to her character in the show - a few examples I can think of is the pressure to constantly strive for perfection, yearning for attention from a parent who always seemed to favor another child (and I say "seemed" because I don't believe Ursa willingly abandoned her to favor Zuko - I just don't think she had the power to reach Azula when Ozai was most likely abusing Ursa as well) - there might be more that I'm missing. Every kid has probably gone through those things at some point - why wouldn't she be relatable?
Now, with that aside, I think that the people you encountered didn't just appreciate Azula, but are active Azula stans. And to understand why that's the case, I think this issue is very similar to the fandom issue with Zuko and Aang.
Just as Zuko's redemption arc overshadows Aang's flat arc in many fans' minds, I think Azula's history of abuse overshadows everyone else's that's not Zuko, most notably Mai. A part of it could be that Azula's story is more at the forefront of the show, since her story overlaps with Zuko's, but it could also be the way Mai, for example, deals with her own trauma: she puts on an unfeeling mask and acts cold and dark. Because of that, it's easier for fandom to collapse Mai into a one-dimensional character and label her as "an emo." With Azula, however, it's harder to do so, making her "more complex" than Mai. The attention to her character could also be because she comes from the same abusive family as Zuko did - and we all know how fandom treats Zuko.
Ultimately, though, I think that the reason why fandom treats Azula so well at the expense of someone like Mai is the same as why fandom treats Zuko so well at the expense of someone like Aang - because they're complex characters, and that complexity is a lot more noticeable in fans' minds than it is for Aang or Mai. Thus, in their minds, it doesn't matter what atrocities they have committed - they're complex and that's all they care about. And because of that reverence for that certain complexity, they'll push back on anyone who doesn't particularly enjoy them.
However, that's just my thoughts. Again, I've never ventured into that corner of discourse, and I personally also find it pretty baffling that people love Azula so much.
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