Mike Ross

[legallyquestionable]

Mike: I have good news and bad news.

Harvey: Bad news first.

Mike: I accidentally started a problem.

Harvey: And the good news?

Mike: It's Louis's problem now.

[legallyquestionable]

Louis: Why is everyone scared of me?

Mike: You once screamed at a stapler.

Louis: It deserved it.

[legallyquestionable]

Donna: Mike, you need to stop doing things without thinking.

Mike: That's where all my best ideas come from.

Donna: And all your worst ones.

Mike: Details.

[legallyquestionable]

Harvey: If you get arrested again, don't call me.

Mike: That's fair.

Harvey: Call Donna.

Donna: Why am I the emergency contact for chaos?

[legallyquestionable]

Rachel: What are you doing?

Mike: Making a list of my mistakes.

Rachel: That's just a blank notebook.

Mike: I needed more pages.

[legallyquestionable]

Louis: I can smell dishonesty.

Mike: Then how do you survive around Harvey?

Harvey: Excuse me?

[legallyquestionable]

Harvey: What's your greatest strength?

Mike: My memory.

Harvey: Your greatest weakness?

Mike: My memory.

Harvey: Fair enough.

[legallyquestionable]

Jessica: Are you lying to me?

Mike: Technically, yes.

Jessica: Technically?

Mike: I'm also lying emotionally.

[legallyquestionable]

Donna: What happened here?

Mike: A series of unfortunate decisions.

Donna: By whom?

Mike: Team effort.

[legallyquestionable]

Harvey: You need to think before you speak.

Mike: Why?

Harvey: So people know what you're talking about.

Mike: That seems unnecessary.

[legallyquestionable]

Mike: Harvey, can I ask you something?

Harvey: You just did.

Mike: See, this is why nobody likes talking to you.

[legallyquestionable]

Louis: Mike! Have you seen my file?

Mike: The one labeled "DO NOT TOUCH"?

Louis: Yes!

Mike: Then no.

[legallyquestionable]

Rachel: Mike, are you listening?

Mike: Absolutely.

Rachel: What did I just say?

Mike: Something important that I fully support.

[legallyquestionable]

Harvey: You realize normal people don't do this, right?

Mike: Good thing we're lawyers.

Harvey: We're barely lawyers.

[legallyquestionable]

Donna: I know everything.

Mike: That's impossible.

Donna: You hid cookies in your desk drawer three hours ago.

Mike: ....

Mike: I hate this place.

[legallyquestionable]

Jessica: Why are the two of you banned from another charity event?

Harvey: Long story.

Mike: Medium story.

Donna: Extremely short story, they're idiots.

[legallyquestionable]

Louis: I have feelings, you know.

Mike: We know.

Harvey: Trust me, we know.