spaces and stitches

Hi, this is my online journal. I also place here the photographs I take and the poems and prose I write. Everything is mine unless otherwise stated.

[leibyyourside]

08 may 24

things i've learned for the past month (i mean ever since we parted ways)

1. our mind is powerful.

we can let our mind ruin or make our day

2. let yourself feel what it has to feel.

you were the one who taught me this. i knew one day i'll be applying this with you lol

3. the only way around it is through.

or as your favorite line says, "the obstacle is the way." i remember how you have it calligraphied by me

4. when everything fails, we always go back to those who we take granted :(

buti na lang lab ako ni Lord

5. it does get better in time. well yea if you'd help yourself.

i wouldn't say i'm fully okay now. i'm not. but better than a month before? heck, yes!

6. time doesn't help you. you heal you.

7. i stumbled upon a vid that says your body knows when you're with the right person. i've been sickly monthly since oct til end march.

you were there all along, being my doctor and nurse.

havent been sick for a month now.

8. still getting used to being alone again. i can do this, right?

i've done and been enjoying this before you came

9. thank you for helping me even until this stage. i am so indecisive and you know that so well. just one message and my decision will change.

we never messaged each other after that day. you're still my decision-maker. that helped me so much.

10. i've been rereading our convo and i still find comfort in that. shd i stop?

yea, i should stop

[leibyyourside]

how i wish i could just see you,

in a snap,

in a blink,

in a heartbeat.

but the distance put between us

never stops the cliché butterflies

filling my stomach,

and lungs, maybe —

that every time i’d hear your voice,

i need to catch my breath,

as if you’ve snatched it

peace finds me

knowing that you’re here

in a snap,

in a blink,

in a heartbeat.

faster than a bullet train,

quicker than the lightning trail

i may not see you with my eyes

but i know, i will, someday

even if tomorrow seems so far away

[leibyyourside]

weekly learnings

a big leap could be achieved with small steps

communication really is the KEY

when anxiety attacks, fight back

it wont hurt if you’ll ask

prayer CHANGES everything

plan, plan, PLAN

practice, practice, PRACTICE

help yourself to have a healthy lifestyle

the first thing after thinking is DOING

[leibyyourside]

new boat

somebody said, “everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

afraid, still, i decided to ride the boat than to miss it - in search for a deeper purpose than living. a leap of faith or maybe a voluntary deep in the water – either could not be done inside the safe harbor. 

despite the uncertainties that run inside my head, the feeling was familiar. it’s as if you’re on a trip going to a place you’ve never been. a mixture of fear that you might not like it there and the jitters of excitement of hoping that maybe, just maybe, that’s where you’d find you.

so yaaaay!

here’s to my first week at WBF

first week away home

[leibyyourside]

all i wanted is to be the person who will least disappoint you but why do i keep on being the best at it

[leibyyourside]

"My world became a hideout for trespassers. Always considering me a place to cover ugly memories---a keeper of subtle things. My delicate walls stood until its last breath just to keep people out from their floods and storms. And when the sunshine peeks on the steady horizon, they escort themselves on their way out---forgetting the mess they scattered on the floor. I had always been like this. An unfaltering refuge they could run to but not once they stood still with me until sunset after knowing i was afraid of evenings. Nobody did. Needing me became their addiction because they know I don't need anything from them. So all I heard were exit doors slamming. All i heard were favors after saying my name. Not a laughter I could overhear for hours, or a tap on back to lighten my loads. They love who they need. They need me because they know I have lots of love to give. So they take and take and take and take and leave."

[poemswords]

[sunsetquotes]

“I feel myself shutting down, closing off, like I should tell people, ‘No, we don’t use this heart anymore. It’s too fragile.’”

— Courtney C. Stevens; The Lies About Truth

[leibyyourside]

0216

here's to not sending messages when you're at peak emotions!!!!

[poems-and-word]

“And I never expected that you could have a broken heart and love with it too, so much that it doesn’t seem broken at all.”

— Jodi Lynn Anderson, Tiger Lily (via books-n-quotes)

[coral]

When God Created Mothers” When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.” And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.” The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.” It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.” That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded. One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.” God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….” I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.” The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed. But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.” Can it think?” Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator. Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.” It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.” What’s it for?” It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.” You are a genius, ” said the angel. Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.

Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers (via coral)

[love-personal]

[leibyyourside]

i remember you

[sleepin]

via weheartit

[olearypoetry]

[romantic-gestures]

[mewsique]

[books-n-quotes]

“Miss someone until they come back, or until you come back, until their absence in your life becomes something to be avoided at all costs. Miss them until you don’t have to anymore, until you’re reunited in your favorite booth in your favorite restaurant ordering your favorite meal, miss them until it feels like you never left. Or miss them until you can’t anymore, until the things you miss are identified and cataloged as things and not a person, until you figure out that easy company and long talks and unblinking, all-knowing eye contact will find you again the way they found you the first time. Miss someone until you don’t.”

— Stephanie Georgopulus, How To Miss Someone