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braonain 28//ATX melancholic chronic bedhead ;  nudes as opposite action

[poresspores]

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comparing love to war post pat benatar

[decision]

by Milan Vopalensky

[leis-an-ean]

Thank you.

[vijara]

look: the right people will get it. the right people will see you and appreciate you for the person that you are. the right people won’t require you to dilute, censor, or edit yourself in order to be worthy of their time and affection. you don’t need to waste your time on people who are committed to misunderstanding you 

[highlandcattleofsaarela]

[spitsister]

oh my god the forest spirits are awake! hello!

[warmandwarm]

My people! 🙆

[amanda-laya-deactivated20150609]

[leis-an-ean]

ive never had fatigue like this. physical only. im not depressed. it took me 30 minutes to walk up a hill today. i have been walkng and biking for a decade. 

[yesterdaysprint]

The Alice and Jerry Books: A First Reading Readiness Book - Here We Go, 1936

[leis-an-ean]

Been living w the painter for a couple weeks now. It's nice. He is easy going and so am I, actually, outside of friendships n relationships with emotionally controlling psychopaths. I think it's kinda ideal, living w a friend with whom I actually have a lot of chemistry but neither of us have expectations for the other. My bf of 5+ years used to yell at me on the way to doctors and ditched me in an ER once bc he was mad I made him miss his driving test. He made me get a tooth pulled alone bc it was inconvenient to be there even tho I have criiipppppling dentist phobia and cried n shook like a cat at the vet the whole time. It's so hard to describe the level of cruelty my ex was capable of. He loved to yell at and abandon me in moments of real distress. He's disgusting. Ive been having a lot of ear problems n in a lotta pain bc of fluid n I can't afford a specialist. In general I have a good amount of chronic pain. My teeth n gums are slowly improving from drinking n smoking n years of neglect, but dance did some pretty solid damage to my hips and knees and I've been waiting tables n carrying trays for 10+ years . Yesterday I was in a lot of pain. Muscles in my jaw all stiff, ear tubes searing. The painter told me to run a bath then got it in with me and touched me n made me laugh and relaxed and distracted me. I didn't ask for anything. He just made me feel better. James never rubbed my back, even on days when I couldn't move bc of the pain. I just got eye rolls. Sighs. Petulance. Wtf. I bought Robert a bunch of ben n Jerry's for his trouble. He is sweet.

[renaissance-art]

Lippo di Dalmasio c. 1397

Madonnas of Humility

[leis-an-ean]

This is my friend maverick. She is a very sweet neurotic little thing who is the center of my world. We just got into harness training, which has unlocked a lot of doors for us as an avian/human team. She can now accompany me outside while I read or down to the store. She loves to watch ppl swim in the pool outside our unit or sit at w bus stop eating almonds and laughing at joggers. I dont post her often because I lost a bird a year and a half ago and it was really hard to break that news to social media. I also don't want my ex to have access to pictures of her because his toxic presence in our home and sudden disappearance from her life did a lot of damage to her and was a major factor in a plucking relapse this past fall that set her back 8 months of progress. Thankfully she has bounced back, experiencing 2x the feather growth in the same time period under my care. She now has full coverage on her back, full down on her sides, and her chest is almost covered. I was told her chest might always be bare but today I see the yellow on her belly finally coming in through follicles they told me were potentially too damaged. My ex had many cruel parting words for me because he's a psychopath. One sentiment was that maverick would be worse off with me, that I wasnt good enough, that I could not handle her, that I could not and should not have a bird. Facts: maverick had progressed beyond my or a vets wildest expectations. This beautiful bird is happier than I've ever seen her and that's ON ME. I did that. I am loving. I am generous. I am patient and kind and nurturing and steadfast. I am capable of give something most people cannot give and the one thing cockatoos need most -- unconditional love. So hey James, I know you still lurk my shit bc you're a disengenuos fucking creep and always will be, but the bird you threw out like trash is a million times better without you moping around. ✌

[leis-an-ean]

Tropical looks

[leis-an-ean]

Bird contemplates sorbet

[voidmountain]

anyway here is the boy doing some foraging, featuring Licking and Grab

[leis-an-ean]

Boof

[leis-an-ean]

i saw really bad fashion today and wanna draw it

[leis-an-ean]

its just strange, my ex is a backwards person. a lot of people are backwards people. instead of just being who they are, they decide who they want to be and cultivate interests to further that idea of themselves. they like things because that’s  what someone like them is supposed to like, not because they actually like those things. they say what someone like them is supposed to say. backwards people. 

[leis-an-ean]

last night he looked at the painting im working on and gave me some value shading tips. we taked about cezanne at like 3am. its nice to not feel lonely.