GARDENING 101, or Don’t Buy Expensive Compost Bins
People ALWAYS fuckin over-complicate compost. You don’t need a recipe, you don’t need to turn it or water it or whateverthefuck, you just. Pile shit up and let it rot.
1. Pile up organic stuff. Manure, food scraps, sticks, whatever. Throw all that shit in a pile.
2. Throw a couple shovelfuls of soil on there. (The soil contains all sorts of good nematodes and bacteria and fungi and all the other Good Bois that rot organics down.)
Now just…leave it alone. Throw more waste on there as it accumulates. Ignore. Don’t fuckin worry, my dudes, just leave it be. The Rot Squad has it from here.
After a year, move all the half-composted stuff on top aside to Pile #2, and lo and behold, what was once chicken manure, orange peels, moldy bread, and coffee grounds is now rich black humus. If there’s any chunks of stick or corn cob or whatever in there, just pick ‘em out and chuck them on Pile #2. Use the compost as you wish.
Now, will this sterilize any seeds in there? Fuck no. You could start a whole garden from a shovelful of my compost. Tomato seed, columbine seed, squash, blanketflower, nicotiana, echinacia, about thirty types of grass, raspberry, sunflower, strawberry, hyssop, and who knows what else.
So that’s why you spread the compost around plants, and then top it off with some more mulch, which will shade out any germinating seeds. Or plop it in planting holes.
The mulch will also rot down over time into MORE nice rich humus.
Next year, rake back the half-composted junk from pile #2, plop it back on pile #1, and repeat forever.