LemenPear

Not a P orn Bot Just a silly goose and a spicy content creator https://linktr.ee/lemenpear

[lemenpear]

I haven’t taken any pictures in a while. I got really sick and I lost weight I didn’t really have to lose, and it took me forever to figure out what was wrong and get on the right track to being healthy. I still am not working out, but I’m looking for a new gym. During that I feel like I got a little boring. All I did was try to survive. But maybe as I get better I’ll have a silly little time again. 😂

[lemenpear]

[aerisswitchblade]

does anyone wanna send me like $300 just bc im hot

[lemenpear]

I cannot do a single thing without thinking “oh my feet are right there, I might as well show them off when they look so cute”

[lemenpear]

Hi, just want to drop in and say that you got lovely feet. Keep up the awesome blog

Thank you! 🥰

[lemenpear]

I am braving snakes, and ants, and splinters, all to give the people what they want. I guess I’m what you might call, a HERO.

[lemenpear]

Yeah sex is great, but have you ever told a man he’s a slimy little worm?

[lemenpear]

Don’t forget to go outside and touch grass.

[lemenpear]

The last time I was on tumblr I was heroine chic; and I was the epitome of what a girl “should be”. I was meek, and tiny, and made sure everyone else was always having a good time, even at my own expense.

Now the weightlifting is paying off, I’m 30lbs heavier, I’m loud, and I’ve been sleeping in the same dress for a week for some lonely old man to squeeze into.

I love the saying “it doesn’t get easier, you just get better at it”.

[hymnsofheresy]

apparently europeans have the impression that US Americans never learn the metric system.

[hymnsofheresy]

like our science curriculum from day one is entirely done in the metric system. we just don't use metric in our day to day lives.

[hymnsofheresy]

yeah actually we kinda just do it for the bit :)

[hymnsofheresy]

I have had people try to gently and kindly explain to me the workings of the metric system, as if Americans are having trouble with the concept of a base ten system. like no. we get it. we were taught this when we were like eight. it's just that like. we don't really wanna do it that way. for the bit.

[hymnsofheresy]

no no it's for the bit it's for the bit !!! it's for the bit!!!!!

[legofrans]

[systlin]

GARDENING 101, or Don’t Buy Expensive Compost Bins

People ALWAYS fuckin over-complicate compost. You don’t need a recipe, you don’t need to turn it or water it or whateverthefuck, you just. Pile shit up and let it rot.

Steps of composting;

1. Pile up organic stuff. Manure, food scraps, sticks, whatever. Throw all that shit in a pile.

2. Throw a couple shovelfuls of soil on there. (The soil contains all sorts of good nematodes and bacteria and fungi and all the other Good Bois that rot organics down.)

Now just…leave it alone. Throw more waste on there as it accumulates. Ignore. Don’t fuckin worry, my dudes, just leave it be. The Rot Squad has it from here.

After a year, move all the half-composted stuff on top aside to Pile #2, and lo and behold, what was once chicken manure, orange peels, moldy bread, and coffee grounds is now rich black humus. If there’s any chunks of stick or corn cob or whatever in there, just pick ‘em out and chuck them on Pile #2. Use the compost as you wish.

Now, will this sterilize any seeds in there? Fuck no. You could start a whole garden from a shovelful of my compost. Tomato seed, columbine seed, squash, blanketflower, nicotiana, echinacia, about thirty types of grass, raspberry, sunflower, strawberry, hyssop, and who knows what else.

So that’s why you spread the compost around plants, and then top it off with some more mulch, which will shade out any germinating seeds. Or plop it in planting holes.

The mulch will also rot down over time into MORE nice rich humus.

Next year, rake back the half-composted junk from pile #2, plop it back on pile #1, and repeat forever.

[systlin]

And if you’re just on shitty clay or sand?

COMPOST COMPOST COMPOST. MORE COMPOST MOAR COMPOST. Tilling compost into clay will absolutely transform your soil. Sand, the same.

Most local landfills will ALSO have a compost heap, and that, like mulch, will ALSO be available for cheap to free. Load up on that sweet black gold, and start a compost heap.

[timurmurtazin]

Don’t you need to have a certain ratio in the stuff you’re throwing in there, though? I vaguely remember the number 25:1 in terms of the amount of food waste and stuff you’re throwing in versus the amount of yard material like sticks and leaves, but I don’t know if the addition of pre formed soil changes that or not.

[systlin]

Nope fuckit it all rots down anyway.

Those ratios make it rot faster is all, but ain’t nobody got time to be out here mixing compost precisely.

[tealdearest]

Is there any reason I can’t do this in a ditch? The backyard used to have a broken in ground pool when we moved in so we tore it out and filled it in with construction site dirt, but it formed a two foot deep, eight feet long not-really-sinkhole because it wasn’t packed down very well. Can’t I just…throw the compost things into it and fill it up while forming some nice usable dirt?

[systlin]

Not a one. That would actually trap water and make it work even better.

[jayalaw]

@systlin would smell be an issue?

[systlin]

Not so long as you don’t put meat or dairy on it.

[headspace-hotel]

The bugs and critters and fungi do all the work and you just sit back and relax.

[negativ00]

[lemenpear]

I feel so bad for bugs. Imagine, you’re just going about your day, gathering food, trying to procreate, and then one day a capricious goddess sets down one dirty shoe, and SQUISH, there you go getting splattered. Your little bug wife and your little bug kids will cry, but at least you got to be part of the ecosystem for a little while, I guess.

[lemenpear]

I am definitely a big believer in “seasons of life”. We have good seasons; and bad seasons. And as it turns out we also have crawling on the ground, picking weeds, and getting gassed up by your straight girl friend while she takes pictures of your ass seasons. My super quiet/shy sister-in-law came by and when we told her what we were doing she said “aw that’s great, make that money”. 😂 Ten years ago people were not as supportive as they are now, what a time to be alive. 🙌

[lemenpear]

Look at you go!

[soulsauce]

[metamorphesque]

musings on oranges

Alessia Di Cesare, Romero Barros, Wendy Cope, David Stevenson, Rebecca O’Connor, Andrea Kantrowitz, Nina LaCour, Augustin Rouart, Ocean Vuong, Chris Krupinski, Wendy Cope, Mickie Acierno, Jacques Prévert, Robert Spear Dunning, Wendy Cope

buy me a coffee