how do people have consistent fun at parties . like don’t they get hit with periodic waves of debilitating melancholy and subsequently need to sit outside and think abt how they’re going 2 die alone . or is that just me and the guy from the National
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how do people have consistent fun at parties . like don’t they get hit with periodic waves of debilitating melancholy and subsequently need to sit outside and think abt how they’re going 2 die alone . or is that just me and the guy from the National
let's give it a minute before we admit that we're through
lorde / james baldwin / fleabag / mikko harvey / lorde / phoebe bridgers / fleabag / richard siken / lucy dacus
when lorde said "it feels so scary getting old" and when frank ocean said "we'll never be those kids again" and when taylor swift said "it's supposed to be fun turning 21" and when mitski said "mom am i still young can i dream for a few months more" and when phoebe bridgers said "how can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22" and when haim said "was i fearless at 17 years old or was i faking it?"
i think music is often attached to the body and maybe that's why we will never know exactly how someone else feels about a piece of music. like i feel some songs so deeply in my gut or so tightly in my chest or so dizzyingly in my head, that someone else will never understand that. because the feeling is tied to my physicality. so maybe that's why music is so personal. because it is physically bound.
from phoebe’s newest interview. i love her
Self-love is one of the most important things you can give yourself. It's also one of the most difficult things to achieve. We live in a world that is constantly telling us we're not good enough, we're not thin enough, we're not pretty enough, we're not smart enough. It's no wonder that so many of us struggle with self-love.
The first step to loving yourself is to be patient with yourself. Healing takes time. You didn't get to where you are overnight and you're not going to heal overnight. It's okay to have bad days, it's okay to make mistakes. What's important is that you forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and keep moving forward.
Another important step is to surround yourself with people who love and support you. These people should make you feel good about yourself, not make you feel worse. If you're constantly around people who are putting you down, it's going to be very difficult to love yourself. Find people who will build you up and make you feel good about yourself.
Finally, you need to learn to accept yourself for who you are. This means accepting your flaws and imperfections. We are all human and we all have imperfections. What's important is that we learn to love ourselves in spite of our flaws.
Loving yourself is not an easy journey, but it's one that is so worth taking. Be patient with yourself, surround yourself with supportive people, and learn to accept yourself for who you are. These things will help you on your journey to self-love.
i think i'm gonna really try and tackle my voice this year. i want to finally shake some of the old patterns and settle into a more comfortable place
[“Respectability politics” refers to attempts by marginalized groups to garner acceptance by convincing the dominant majority that they too are “normal” and therefore worthy of respect. We saw this happen with the mainstream gay rights movement over the last half century, as activists and organizations worked to shift the public discourse away from the “disreputable” topic of sexuality, and toward more “respectable” issues, such as marriage, adoption, and military service. This respectability strategy is perhaps best captured in the popular slogan “We’re just like you, except for our sexual orientation.”
Notably, this slogan does not call for straight people to accept queerness per se, nor does it claim that all queer people deserve to be treated with respect. Rather, it implies that there are “respectable” people and “disreputable” ones, and that the “we” in “we’re just like you” deserve to be in the former category.
Of course, in a society where many people are deemed “disreputable” because of their race, class, disability, or other traits, these appeals to respectability failed many multiply marginalized queer people. Furthermore, queer subpopulations who were viewed as particularly “disreputable” at the time—such as bisexual and transgender people—were often explicitly excluded from the movement over concerns that we might “hold back” the progress of gay and lesbian people. In other words, respectability politics always leaves behind the most marginalized, as well as the most sexualized, segments of any minority group. For these reasons, many contemporary queer activists are opposed to recycling this strategy.
“Contagiousness politics” is a term of my own making, and it refers to attempts to placate the dominant majority’s fears that they might become “infected” or “contaminated” by a particular marginalized group. For LGBTQIA+ people, such fears have typically centered on the assumption that straight people can be “turned queer” via interacting with us. Perhaps the most effective contagiousness-politics slogan of the gay rights movement was “we’re born that way.” There have been extensive debates about this slogan, with some queer people expressing concerns that “born that way” suggests that we must suffer from some kind of “birth defect.” Others are concerned that the phrase implies that no one would willingly choose to be queer, and/or that it erases some individuals’ experiences with shifts in identity or gender/sexual fluidity. While I agree that the slogan fails to capture many intricacies regarding how queer people come to be, I believe its effectiveness lies largely in its ability to allay straight people’s fears of contagiousness. After all, if people are “born queer,” then that means that straight people can’t “catch” it from us.
There is another gay rights–era message that has received considerably less attention but seems to have served a similar purpose. Namely, lesbians and gay men would often assure straight people that they were not sexually interested in them. They would point out that gay men are attracted to other gay men, and lesbians to other lesbians, and they meet one another in queer-specific settings, such as gay bars or m4m/f4f dating sites. These messages seemed designed to convince straight people that they need not “panic” about being “seduced” by a queer person.
While the notion that queer and straight people inhabit entirely separate dating pools may hold true for exclusively lesbian and gay people, it doesn’t necessarily apply to other gender and sexual minorities. Bisexuals are attracted to people across multiple genders, trans and intersex people vary in our sexual orientations, and so on. In fact, this “separate dating pools” message insinuates that it would be a bad thing if a queer person were to take an interest in a straight person, or vice versa. Such flawed messaging helped to create the apparent paradox that we now find ourselves in, where the straight majority openly accepts people who are in same-sex relationships, while simultaneously harboring fears of “sexual deception” and being “contaminated” by queerness themselves.”]
julia serano, from sexed up: how society sexualizes us, and how we can fight back, 2022
6 Steps to Help You Read Like a Writer
What have you learned about writing from the novels and stories that you read? Whether you love them or hate them, there’s a lot you can learn just from reading books! Today, the folks at Reese’s Book Club have shared some tips to help you read like a writer:
While there are a hundred different books offering specific writing advice from writers, critics, and educators, there is one universal truth accepted by all: to become a great writer, you have to be a great reader. This doesn’t mean reading acclaimed literature or finishing the Man Booker List each year. Instead, it means reading with a critical eye and learning from every book you pick up.
Every book has something to teach you, whether you liked it or not. Below are six areas where we teach you how to read your TBR like a writer.
1. Study the POV
Point of View, or POV, is a crucial part of every story, changing the way the reader connects with the story. First POV tends to bring the reader in by sitting them in the heads of the main characters while third POV offers a more holistic scope of the story.
Questions to Ask: How do different POVs build tension and drive drama? Which characters and I’m sympathizing with most and why? How does the story use POV to tell us more about the world of the novel?
Required Reading: The Island of Missing Trees by Elif Shafak
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A love letter to linguistics —
Linguistics is the science and study of languages. How we speak. How language evolves. How culture affects our language. How it doesn't affect our language.
Linguistics is the curiosity of why you do that thing with words, rather than correcting you based on "rules" that don't really exist anyway. Linguistics is the crooked questioning eyebrow when you said something in a way I've never heard before! Where did you grow up, who did you learn that word from, where did they grow up, did you watch any international television shows by chance?
Linguistics is a love letter to languages. It's a science, don't get me wrong. It's a study, careful and precise, and wildly whimsical all at the same time. Because much like any science dedicated to the living, it is curious for what is actually happening, not in controlling the reactions or measured responses. No, please tell me how you really feel! Please talk to me in the way you really speak! Does that change in writing? Does that affect your studies?
I love you linguistics. I love you linguists. You are beautiful and magical and make everything so very real.
Getting fact checked by your own website that you paid 44 billion dollars for.
hey btw if ur transphobic don’t interact with my blog. we support trans people here
“is that what people think it is? i like sex with candles?”
“i like sex with sandals.”
“it’s just as good.”
i am so sleep deprived that I just thanked the elevator for opening and closing