i was a king under your control

AND IF I BELIEVE YOU WILL THAT MAKE IT S T O P ? IF I TOLD YOU I NEED YOU, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? I'M B R O K E N AND BLEEDING, AND B E G G I N G FOR HELP; I'M ASKING YOU, SHOW YOURSELF. AND IF I BELIEVE YOU WILL THAT MAKE IT S T O P ? IF I TOLD YOU I NEED YOU, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? I'M B R O K E N AND BLEEDING, AND B E G G I N G FOR HELP; I'M ASKING YOU, SHOW YOURSELF.

[leohq-blog]

lanacbb:

God, who designed this place? The multi-coloured cushions are giving me a damn headache. Thanks for making us lose our beach, assholes.

I agree that some of the design choices are um, questionable. But the library and the bar area are designed quite nicely. I'm not sure who made us lose our precious beach but I must admit that I already miss it.

[leohq-blog]

liampaynox:

Well, this is exciting! New place, new start, after everything in the other house I think it's much needed! I just don’t know what to check out first! Someone want to accompany me somewhere? I will let you choose.

I agree. A nice fresh start will probably do a lot of good for everyone here. Sure, Liam. Where do you want to go? What are you in the mood for?

[leohq-blog]

robpattinsonx:

This place is insane! Never thought it could be better than the other... but I actually like it. Is that just me, it seems so much cooler and more independant? Think I could get used to it here. Where would you suggest the best place to go first?

Yeah, it seems so much more open somehow. I don't know how that works since we used to have a whole resort to ourselves but I don't know. It's nice     different. I really like it too. I'm glad we get our own beds now as well, we no longer have to be all squashed up on one mattress. Hmm, I don't know. I haven't figured my way around here just yet.

[leohq-blog]

caluminthehood:

When they said we’d be moving to some new place as a punishment, I kind of expect we’d end up in some kind of dungeon. But this place doesn’t seem bad at all. I just spotted Vegemite in the pantry, so I’m content. 

Yeah, I agree with that. I was expecting something a lot worse than this. This place is beautiful. Vegemite? I've never tried that but I heard it's pretty gross.

[leohq-blog]

stfujdm:

Did we sleep together once upon a time or am I just seeing the future again?

Keep dreaming Jeffrey, not happening in this lifetime.

[leohq-blog]

ninathedobrev:

I’ve decided we should celebrate our arrival here in style! So, I’m in the middle of firing up the BBQ and there’s plenty of food to go around. Burgers in buns, hot dogs, chicken wings. Everything. I’ve even included a vegetarian selection. Plus, beer. Both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. You better come help me eat it all or.. Well, no I could probably still eat it all without you, but my waist won’t thank you later. Who’s in?

That sounds delicious. Have you cooked and prepared all of this yourself? If you needed help, I would have been happy to step in. You did an amazing job Nina, thank you.

[leohq-blog]

stfunorman:

You sneaking out on me? And here I was thinking we’d shared somethin’ special.

I was just going to leave you so you could get some rest, you look tired. But I can stay. If you don't mind me sharing the bed?

[leohq-blog]

katesthewinslet:

The touch of his hand ‘pon her elbow had Kate’s heart fluttering in both fear and anticipation. This conversation could go in two different directions. The first and her personal favourite was that Leonardo returned those feelings. That he too loved her like she loved him. That the pair could spend whatever time they had left on this earth in each other’s arms rather than apart. Or there was option two. Leonardo didn’t feel the same and him stopping her wasn’t a declaration of love, but instead the rejection she’d so often feared. If it was the latter, Kate would accept that just as she promised. She would nod and smile, and return to being friends with the knowledge that she at least tried. Taking a leap and crashing was far better than being stuck at the top, wasn’t it? That’s what she’d thought. The more time that ticked past, however, the more she began to doubt herself. The more she began to wonder how she would survive this, how she would live each moment with him knowing he didn’t want her. Knowing she wasn’t enough.

Thoughts of insecurities were soon broken when Leo spoke and his words surprised the actress, mouth parting in surprise. The rejection Kate had just spent a full five minutes preparing herself for never came. Instead, he offered reciprocation. Soft, gentle words of affection that she never thought she’d hear him speak unless a script asked him to. Was it possible that this was a dream? Would she soon wake and realise none of this was true? Hand reached for his, needing to touch him, to reassure herself he was there. ‘Don’t. Please don’t say it unless you mean it,’ she pleaded. Not hearing it was one thing, but if he were to say them and change his mind, that would be the real torture. His last sentence snapped her back to reality, nerves becoming concern as the other retreated back into his cabin.

‘Right, of course.’ Realisation dawned on her then. The cruel reminder of what was happening to the man she loved so much. Leonardo’s illness took more and more from him with each passing moment, and Kate could do nothing but watch. It put everything else into perspective, served as proof that the world was so much bigger than hurt feelings or heartbreak. Following him inside, hand shut the door behind them to ensure no one would interrupt. The moment was far too private, too intimate, to be shared with another. It was bad enough it had to be shared with the cameras that surrounded them. God, the things her band of ex-husbands must be saying about her right now. The harlot woman who never loved them enough because her heart had always belonged to another. To Leo. Kate allowed herself to settle down beside him and she tried to speak though found no words. What more could be said? Instead, she leaned forward, closing the distance between their lips. It was a hesitant kiss. Slow and careful, more of a brush than anything else. They were both so delicate that she worried a firmer action might just break them. Touch lingered a beat longer before pulling apart again, nose knocking against his in absolute fondness. ‘Are you okay? Can I get you something to help?’  

Leonardo stood on shaky legs, his heart was beating so hard that he could feel it pulsing in his ears. His low blood pressure caused him to sway for a moment before he managed to steady himself. He needed to reassure Kate that he had meant what he said, that he wouldn't just say that he loved her unless he really did. The fact this was even happening almost seemed too good to be true for him, he'd had multiple dreams just like this where Kate confessed her love to him or he to her and for the other to say they reciprocated it. He subtly pinched his arm just to make sure this wasn't another one of those dreams, a soft smiling pulling at his lips as he felt the sharp pinch and realised that this was real.

'I do mean it. I really do. I've never meant anything more.' He squeezed the hand that was held in his own for reassurance. 'I think I've loved you my whole life.' He whispered, his eyes wet with emotion. He brought a hand up to cup her cheek before bringing her forward to press a gentle chaste kiss to her lips before pulling back slightly to press their foreheads together. 'I've dreamt about this moment for a really long time.' He pulled back so he could look into Kate's eyes, his hand still cupping her cheek. 'I love you.' He spoke, sincerly as he brushed the pad of his thumb across her cheekbone.

Leonardo gave her a sad but grateful smile as they both retreated back further into the bedroom. Once again feeling thankful that they were here alone and his roommates were elsewhere around the house. He plopped himself down on the bed, instantly relaxing as he allowed himself to sink down into the soft mattress. He hated this. He hardly had the energy to even stand anymore, he hung his head as frustrated tears rolled down his face. He brought up his sleeve to wipe them away, ashamed that Kate had to see him like this. He lifted his head again to look at Kate sat beside him, a soft vulnerable smile on his lips as he took in the beauty before him. He let out a surprised hum as he felt her lips touch his again in a soft and gentle kiss. His eyes fluttered closed as he appreciated the moment of such close fondness. His smile was a little brighter once he'd re-opened his eyes. 'Just you here. Just want you to stay here.' He spoke softly, curling his arm around her waist as he held her a bit closer to his side, relishing in the warmth that radiated off her.

[leohq-blog]

@queenkates

[leohq-blog]

Hey. Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you.

@katesthewinslet

[leohq-blog]

LEONARDO DICAPRIO has entered the DIARY ROOM.

Leonardo blew out a shaky breath as he pushed open the door to the diary room, the envelope held loosely between his fingers. He hadn’t opened it yet but he knew what was inside, his letter had finally arrived. He was beginning to wonder if he was even going to receive one, that Big Brother had forgotten about him altogether. He wouldn’t be too surprised if that were the case, he knew he didn’t make himself very known within the resort. He must get the least amount of air time out of all the residents because he would imagine it would be quite boring to watch him on the screen. All he seemed to do is sleep, barely eat and get treatment. He didn’t live the exciting fulfilling life that he once did. That made him quite sad to think about actually. He used to be the life of the party, literally. He would be the center focus of everything celebrity get-together and he went to all of them. Mingling, chatting, flirting. Catching up with all the friends he didn’t get to see most of the year due to restricting schedules. And now? Now he just felt like he was rotting away into nothing, a complete waste of a man.

@jfcamyadams @cbbresort-rpg

He tried to think positive thought but that was very hard to do when he could literally feel himself dying. He didn’t need to be told, just one look in the doctor’s eyes could tell him his fate. He didn’t know how long, he didn’t want to know. He was riddled with enough anxiety as it was, he didn’t need the weight of knowledge that he didn’t have that long on Earth left. At first, he thought pushing people away would make things easier. That doing this alone was the best option because he didn’t want to see the pity and pain in his friends’ eyes but he hadn’t countered on the gut-wrenching loneliness that he felt. Despite being in a resort filled with people, people who he had pushed away in order to deal with his problems all alone, he felt completely alone. Well, that wasn’t completely true. There was still one person, one person who he knew he would never be able to get rid of no matter how much he tried. Kate. And, honestly, he was grateful that she had ignored his pleas and stuck it out by his side because he didn’t think he could really do this all alone. On his bad days when he could hardly move, barely breathe and she was there to wipe at his sweaty brow and to squeeze his hand in reassurance, he felt a small amount of relief flow through him. He needed that. Needed her. He needed to know that he wasn’t alone, that whatever happened he wouldn’t -- alone. He shook that thought from his head, his throat constricting. He couldn’t bare the thought of that, of dying. Even though it was inevitable and coming at him faster than it should. He couldn’t bare the thought of leaving Kate on this Earth alone, and without him. They just didn’t work without each other. He knew if it was the other way he would find it impossible to go on without her. To not be able to hear her voice on the other side of the phone or to be able to pull her into a hug, to not have any of that anymore. It would kill him. Leonardo furrowed his brow, he couldn’t be thinking about that right now. He wasn’t there yet so he should just enjoy that time that did have instead of dwelling on the time that he didn’t. He sighed as he gingerly sat down in the diary room chair and rotated the envelope in his hands a couple of times. He wondered who the letter was from, he knew they were meant to be anonymous but from what he’d seen, most of them had been pretty obvious who they were from.  He cleared his throat and lifted his head, forcing a weak smile for the camera directly in front of him. ‘I guess, I better see who this is from.’ He focused back on the envelope in his hand and slid his index finger under the seal, sliding it along the top of the letter to open it. He breathed in deeply, suddenly nervous but not entirely sure why. It was just a stupid letter from someone inside the resort.  He flipped the letter over, glad that it was short and sweet, unlike his own letter where he had gotten carried away and ended up writing a page and a half. His eyes started scanning the words with a small smile before he realised he was probably supposed to be reading it aloud for the camera and viewers at home to hear.  Leo looked up with a sheepish smile and began to read the letter out loud. It didn’t take him long to figure out who had written in thanks to the not-so-subtle references. He found himself chuckling slightly at some parts and it felt good. Wow, he couldn’t remember the last time he laughed. Or even, genuinely smiled. Maybe he should go back on his being alone thing. Maybe it wasn’t too late to save some relationships in here. He found himself desperately wanting to find the person who had written the letter after this to talk, to hug and to maybe rebuild a connection that had been lost.  He looked back up at the camera once he had finished reading the letter out loud. ‘Amy.’ He spoke simply, a small smile on his face that reached his eyes. ‘If you hadn’t guessed who this was from, it’s Amy Adams.’ He let out a small sigh. ‘I feel so bad. She’s done nothing wrong yet she’s blaming herself. It’s not her fault, it’s mine. I’m the one who’s practically become a recluse and blocked all human contact except for Kate and occasionally Brad.’ He brought a hand up to his head, taking a moment to massage his temple to try and soothe the pounding headache he was currently experiencing. ‘I should go find her. Apologise, maybe take her on a lunch date or something at catch up because she’s right, something does need to change and I think the thing that needs to change is me.’ He looked up at the camera with a lopsided smile before standing up and leaving the room.

THE LETTER

Leo, I love this whole letter concept especially when I get someone I know and love. It is cheesy but I really want to say just how much I treasure our friendship and how much of an amazing person you are. I remember when I was told I that I got the part in Catch Me If You Can and I was ultimately going to end up working with you. It was like an absolute dream come true and then the nerves came because you’re Leonardo DiCaprio and I’m just me. At this point in time, I had only had a couple movies under my belt and a massive gigantic celebrity crush on you from your Growing Pains days- even if that did get squashed quickly. That isn’t to say you’re not a great kisser because you definitely are (is that weird to say?? Eh, who cares). You made me nervous, I am not going to lie. I was so afraid of messing up and embarrassing myself around you. Not to mention, what if in 10 years Leonardo DiCaprio says I am a horrid kisser? That would be absolutely devastating. I quickly realized while on the set though how much of an amazing person you are and how absolutely genuine your friendships are. We haven’t really talked much since I got here (and I take full blame for that because I have been in my own world and my own head lately) but we need to change that because I miss you. Even before this show, we hadn’t hung out in a while and I know we’re both insanely busy with filming but like I said, I do miss you. I don’t really know what else to say in this letter except for how much I admire your passion and drive and acting ability. We really need to change the whole not hanging out thing, okay?

XoXo, A.A

[leohq-blog]

queenkates:

Silence lingered between them and for a moment, Kate struggled to find the right words. She’d spent so much time searching and searching for him. Had prepared an entire speech in her mind, but now that he was there, standing right in front of her, speech failed. This was it. This was their moment. The one where she could decide to be brave and tell the truth, or let him go forever. The latter hurt her heart just to consider. Taking in a deep breath, she took a step closer. ‘You told me something important. And I am so, so sorry that I don’t remember. I feel bloody horrid. The truth is, I’ve been having some health problems myself and my mind isn’t exactly working as well as it used to. I’m forgetting a lot of things. I might not even remember this conversations which.. could either be good or bad. I suppose I’ll know in a few moments.’ Explanation escaped her in a rushed tumble of words and Kate could only hope he’d be able to keep up. She wasn’t sure she would be able to repeat everything a second time.

‘So, now I’m going to tell you something important in return. Then I’m going to leave. You can either.. choose to remember or pretend this never happened. It’s your call. I’ll still be your best friend, no matter what because..                   Because I love you,’ she whispered it so quiet, not even her own ears heard much. ‘I’m in love with you. I think a part of me has always been in love with you. I’ve tried to tell myself it’s just as friends, but it isn’t. It never has been. Everytime I look at you, everytime I’m with you? I feel complete. I feel like I’m home.’ Her voice cracked at the end of her long-winded speech, teeth biting down on lower lip. There it was. The secret she’d kept held in for so long and while revealing it lifted a huge weight off her shoulders, it also placed a brand new one upon them too. The weight of not knowing what he would do next. The fear she would remember and in turn, remember his rejection. Throat cleared, head nodding in finalisation. ‘Right then. That’s that. I’ve told you and now I’m gonna leave. If you don’t follow me, that’s fine. I meant what I said earlier. We’ll be fine. But if there’s even a single chance that you maybe feel the same? Please don’t let whatever is happening to you right now stop you from doing something. Because I think we could be really, really special together. For however long we have left.’ And on that note, she did as she said she would; she turned to leave.

Leonardo felt dizzy and breathless, having to lean his body against the wall to keep himself upright. He hoped Kate didn't notice. He had been having these symptoms for a while and they seemed to gradually be getting worse and worse as the days passed although he felt it was better to just keep that information to himself. There was no need to worry Kate or anyone else for that matter any more than they already were. He had already felt like a burden at the best of times. He tried to listen to every word that Kate was saying, her words all in a rush and squashed together. His eyes rasied in alarm as he caught on the words health, forgetting and remember. He felt terrible. Why didn't he know about this? Why didn't he see anything to indicate that Kate wasn't well, and why hadn't Kate told him what was going on?

He drew in a deep breath as he felt a hot flush coming on, he would need to sit down soon but Kate's words were too important. They kept him frozen in place, across the room from where she was stood. His heard pounded faster as she admitted her love for him, the words that he had been yearning to hear for years. He had to pinch himself just to make sure this wasn't a dream, that this was real life and happening right now. She voiced the thoughts that he had inside his head, feelings that he had felt. The only thing he could wonder was why now? Why couldn't they have done this years ago and what had spurred Kate on to tell him her feelings now? He tried not to dwell on those thoughts too much because now was his time to act. He had done enough listening, now was his time to do something.

Leo watched Kate walk away for a couple of seconds, still dumbfounded and frozen in place with shock and awe before his brain finally reached him and he got his legs to move again. 'Kate, wait--' Leo rasped, reaching out a hand to grasp gently at her elbow. He had to reach a hand up to his chest as he coughed weakly. 'Please don't go.' He turned her around so they were facing each other again, this time much more close and personal. He searched her face for a moment, checking that everything she had said was truthful and meant from the heart. 'You don't know how long I have been waiting for you to say those words. I love you, too. I always have and I always will, and I would love it if we could spent the rest of our miserable lives together.' His lips turned up in a self-depreacting smile. 'But first, I really need to sit down.' He shot her an apologetic look before retreating back into the cabin and collapsing down on the bed closest to the door.

[monochrome-photos]

[leohq-blog]

@queenkates

[leohq-blog]

queenkates:

She all but barged into Leonardo’s assigned cabin as though her life depended on it. Once Kate had found the courage within to tell him the truth, it had become an overwhelming urge. This desperate and nagging voice that begged her to find him before it was too late or before she forgot again. ‘Please don’t speak,’ the actress started, holding her hands up to silence whatever greeting he had been about to make. If he spoke, she might change her mind and Kate didn’t want that to happen. She’d put this off long enough. ‘I have to tell you something. Something I think I should’ve said a long time ago. I want you to know that whatever the answer is, whether it’s yes or no or.. anything, it won’t change us. I’m not expecting something in return. I just have to say it. Just once. I have to. Okay?’ 

Leo was startled, turning around when he heard rather than saw Kate barge into his cabin. Luckily, he was alone because from the look on Kate's face he was sure she was on a mission. A misson of what though, he had no idea. Leo swallowed thickly, trying to calm down his racing heart. He wasn't sure whether that was from him being startled or from just the mere sight of Kate but it was beating so loud, he could hear it in his ears. He waited for Kate to finish her speech, suddenly nervous. 'Okay.' He answered after a long pause. He had no idea what she was about to say but whatever it was it was obvious that Kate needed him to hear it and he was going to allow her to do that.

[periodfantasy]

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caluminthehood:

Welcome back! You okay?

Thank you, Calum. Yes I'm fine, thanks for asking. How are you doing?

[leohq-blog]

bcooperrp:

——Fuck, man.. It’s good to see you. I mean, I’ve been fine…but how’re you? You still doing alright? 

Coop. I’m uh—— I’m coping, you know? Things are hard but I’m doing my best. That’s all I can do. Now how are you, really?