have you seen ( Leonidas "Leo" Kaur, he/him )? They look a lot like ( Avan Jogia ). The ( 35 ) year old ( bartender ) is so ( independent, resilient, protective ) but I heard they can also be really ( pessimistic, hot-tempered, stubborn). Can you believe they’ve been in town for ( one month )?! They live in the ( Stacks ) neighborhood and kind of remind me of ( the clash of steel, an empty throne, muddy footprints, shattered glass ). If I was asked, I’d guess that they were ( absent on picture day ) in their yearbook for the class of ( 2008 ).
About Leo:
Name: Leonidas Raja Kaur
Nickname: Leo
Age: 35 years old
Birthday: October 31
Sign: Scorpio
Handedness: left
Residence: The Stacks
Sexuality: biromantic homosexual
Relationship status: single
Occupation: bartender
TW: parent death, emotional abuse
Leonidas Raja Kaur was born to an American woman and an Indian father. His dad was studying at Dartmouth when he met Leo's mother, and they fell in love
His mother chose his first name, while his father chose his middle. Both are meant to invoke a regal sense of resilience, and they've influenced Leo's personality more than he cares to admit
After marrying, Leo's parents moved to Ahmedabad, India, which is where Leo's father is from. Leo was born there, and the family lived there for a time. When Leo was seven. the family moved back to his mother's native Dartmouth
Because of his multi-national parentage and upbringing, Leo speaks English, Hindi, and Gujarati
Leo had a happy life - until he was 13. That was when everything changed. Leo's parents were killed a car accident, and Leo's life fell apart
After his parents' deaths, Leo went from foster home to foster home. Some were decent, while others were...not. When he was 15, Leo was sent to the worst of them all. The foster parents were cruel, as were their biological children; Leo was certain that they only had him there for the check that came every month. That greed was the last straw for Leo.
When Leo's parents died, they left him quite a bit of money. He wasn't rich by any means, but it would ensure he had what he needed to make a life for himself. However, when Leo's foster parents tried to petition the court for access to that account - for "expenses" they said - Leo had had enough. He left in the middle of the night, never looking back. That was the beginning of his nomadic life
Since then, Leo has drifted around the country, never staying in one place long. He's been to nearly every state, and while it wasn't always easy, he survived, and it made him stronger. Leo learned that the only person he can count on is himself, and he's taken care of himself for the last 20 years
Now Leo is hard to get to know and slow to trust. The last people he fully trusted are dead, and now Leo is often cold and standoffish. He hasn't fully let his walls down since his parents' deaths, though he's gotten close on occasion.
Now Leo has wandered into Carroll County. It seemed as good a place as any, and he likes being near the ocean. And Leo is tired of moving around, though he doesn't really know if he's got it in him to actually stay anywhere
Leo hasn't felt like he's had a home since he was 13
Wanted connections:
Former foster siblings: These would be people close to Leo's age who he was in a foster home with. They can be the foster parents' biological kid or another foster child, and their relationship can vary depending on your preference
People Leo has encountered on the road: Since running away, Leo has lived all over the country and visited all 50 states, even Alaska and Hawaii, so he's met a lot of people
Saffron was no dancer. Her family would have her head if she was a dancer at Eden. Never involved in the illegal activities at Eden, nor did she have any knowledge of it. All she was was an occasional assistant to Ryker or just watched the girls. More of a place to hang out. Not an actual job at Eden, mostly just a kindness of her heart but lately she had been pushed to focus on herself and away from the dirt. "Just visit friends and watch the girls, yeah."
A small smile on her cheek. "I'm sorry you gone though that, you probably hear that a hundred times, but I do mean that." Knowing a few friends who had come from a broken home, she understood. No family was perfect. "I'm trying to drink less. Alcoholics in my family but I have more control than they do." She joked. "I try to keep myself occupied these days. Tonight I just...needed a drink or two."
Leo decided he would keep an eye out for Saffron the next time he was at Eden’s. Even though she’d more or less explained why she came there, Leo was naturally suspicious. That came with the territory of there being very few people in his like whom he could actually trust, at least since his parents had died (so more than half his life). “Are you friends with any of the dancers?” Leo asked. He supposed Saffron could also be there just for the show; he didn’t want to presume anyone’s sexuality, even if the clientele was overwhelmingly male usually. “They’re all pretty cool. Some of them are scary too…they don’t put up with shit.” Diamond came to mind as he said this.
Waving his hand dismissively, Leo said, “None of that. It’s been 20 years since I had to worry about foster families.” He didn’t add that he was only 35, so he’d run away when he was 15. “All those years on my own taught me to take care of myself,” Leo went on, “but yeah…alcohol helps.” He’d been planning to make some sort of joke about being an amateur alcoholic, but after hearing Saffron’s comment, it didn’t feel like she was the audience for it. “You know, if it helps, you could tell a stranger what led you here tonight,” Leo told her. “Sometimes it’s easier than telling people you know.”
Then it clicked. "Eden. You're the bartender at Eden." She smiled, "I've seen you there. I'm not usually at the bar though. I'm usually in the back doing stuff." Nothing illegal. Making sure the girls weren't fighting with each other and just being Ryker's unpaid assistant on occasion for the heck of it. Oh yeah, she remembered the handsome bartender. "I don't work there but...I visit sometimes."
Smiling when he introduced himself officially. Then trying to pronounce his full name in her head. "Drinking to...staying out of my family drama because...it's not my business. So I am going to enjoy myself tonight."
Saffron was being vague enough that Leo was beginning to think maybe she was a dancer at Eden’s. Often they went by names other than their own (Diamond for instance was actually named Naomi, and she wasn’t the only one), and sometimes when they were all done up for the stage, they looked a lot different. And some people - some of the dancers even - found that line of work shameful, so they’d want to keep it a secret. Leo didn’t feel that way - work was work - but some did. Was Saffron one of them? But then she said she didn’t actually work there, and Leo gave her a dubious expression. “Wait, so…you just visit?” he asked, a questioning look on his face. “Like…to watch the girls dance? And what stuff?” Leo doubted it was illegal otherwise Saffron likely wouldn’t have even mentioned it, though he wasn’t naïve - he knew illegal things did happen there. But that wasn’t his business.
“Ah, the proverbial ‘family business,’” Leo said, smirking. “Don’t have a lot of experience with that myself, but…well, I guess I do if foster family business counts. Nearly all of the homes I went to were at least a little fucked up.” Although Leo said this like a joke, it was the furthest thing from it. “I’m all for using alcohol to avoid life problems and get away from the drama though,” he said, taking a big drink of his Old Fashioned.
Her family was falling apart. Even though her mom confirmed that they weren't getting a divorce. It was just dad ignoring Aspen and being mad over an old family rivalry or some shit. None of the kids of Augustus Reynolds knew the story. Pushed in the dark and to mind their own business. Eventually Saffron made amends with her father but she still felt hurt in the bottom of her stomach. Learning how to unplug was difficult for the Reynolds girls, it was like their whole life on a phone.
Then she heard a male voice beside her. Then a laugh left her when he said that she looked how he felt. "I will take that as a compliment." A pause, "I think?" Saffron scooted slightly closer to him. "You look familiar but you could also just have one of those faces. Like I think I know who you are but you're just some random person."
Leo looked at the woman and tried to figure out if he knew her. Did she look familiar? Even if she did, that didn’t mean much because Leo had just been at a wedding reception with virtually the entire town. So even if she did, he might have just seen her there. In any event, he couldn’t place her. Shrugging, he replied, “I don’t think so? I’ve only been in town a few months, so unless I’ve seen you at the Silver Bullet or Eden’s, then I doubt it.” For a moment, Leo paused, and then he explained, “I’m not like a frequent visitor to Eden’s or something, I just bartend there.” He didn’t want the woman think he was a creep who spent all his time at a strip club getting handsy with the dancers.
Moving to sit at the table with her, Leo said, “My name is Leonidas, though most people call me Leo.” He didn’t hate his name or anything, it was just a mouthful. Holding up his glass, he asked, “So what are we drinking to?”
Closed starter: JP ( @thexcarrollxtimes )
Location: the hospital
This was like something out of a nightmare. That was what Leo had been thinking every waking second since he'd found out that JP was in the hospital. Sure, Leo knew about the man's heart problems, but It was always one of those things that seemed to be just a minor concern, not something to really devote a lot of energy to. But that was done now; from now on, Leo would worry about it frequently, if JP woke up that was. When he wakes up, Leo corrected silently. He's going to wake up.. Sitting next to JP's bed, Leo looked at the man, speaking aloud this time. "You hear that, John-Paul?" he said. "You're going to wake up, okay? You don't have a choice." If Leo had any say in it, he wasn't going to let this be it for JP. But the problem was that Leo didn't have a say in it - this was all up to JP now.
Visiting JP had been hard because he didn't want to intrude on other peoeple's alone time with him, plus there were rules about visitation. Often Leo came and spent hours here, but a lot of that ended up being in the waiting room, staring at the TV on the wall but not really seeing it. It was wild that Leo couldn't fathom a life where JP no longer existed when he hadn't even seen the guy in a long time. Leo had voluntarily left, yet now the mere thought of never seeing JP again was too much to bear. Leaning forward, Leo took JP's hand in his own and pleaded urgently, "Please wake up." He was not surprised to feel tears running down his cheeks.
The drama with the Reynolds family had been too much. She had to go somewhere she wouldn't normally go. Tonight she chose to go somewhere different, the Trebel Night Club. Even with Holden back, he was still getting settled. She had her phone and had been ignoring her parents especially. Saffron wasn't about to snorting things up her nose but alcohol was an alternative choice. Sitting near the bar she had downed a white sparkling wine. No intentions of getting wasted either but just enough to take the edge off.
This wasn't Leo's usual haunt, but he needed a change of pace. Things had been so stressful lately, and he couldn't drink at Eden's even though it was free cheaper. Everyone there knew him and what was happening with JP, and moreover, Leo saw the man everywhere he looked there. It was too much with all that was happening right now, and Leo needed to be drunk in a place that didn't make him want to be even drunker; it was a fine line. Alcoholism is a slippery slope, Leo thought, just for a second before banishing the thought from his mind. That was another worry he couldn't deal with right now.
So Leo was at the Trebel Night Club for the first time. Sitting at the bar, he looked at a nearby table and saw a woman down a glass of wine, and man, Leo could relate. "I get it," he said, holding up his own drink and taking a big sip of it. He was drinking an Old Fashioned because this seemed like a classy place, classier than what he was used to at least. "You look like how I feel right now."
Closed starter: Nathan ( @nananathanb )
Location: Manchester Grocery
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Leo muttered, and while he wasn't raising his voice, he definitely clenched his fists. Of course, on a normal day this would just be mildly irritating, but everything felt worse right now. At the same time, it felt like nothing else really mattered, not when JP was in the hospital. Of course this shouldn't have made sense, but it did to Leo, and it was fucking with his head. As he stood there in the grocery aisle, Leo looked at the empty spot on the shelf and thought, Leonidas Raja Kaur, you need to calm the fuck down. This was not the end of the world, even if it felt like he lost what little bit of control he had over his life. He couldn't make JP better, couldn't shake the feelings he shouldn't have for the man, couldn't change the fucked up trajectory of his life thus far. But one thing Leonidas Kaur had always had control over was his hair.
Only now even that didn't seem true. Leo stood in front of the hair care section at the grocery store, looking at the empty place on the shelf where his usual mousse was, seeing that it was empty. But then, like a miracle in human form, Leo turned and saw someone who would know what to do. "Nathan!" Leo exclaimed, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a hug, which surprised Leo as much as it probably had Nathan. But Leo wasn't himself right now. "You're just the person I need," he went on. "What is your hair product of choice? You seem like a mousse guy too." Leo wouldn't trust just anyone with hair advice, but he trusted the guy with the second best hair in town. Looking at the shelf again, Leo groaned, "And what conditioner do you use because apparently they're out of the kind I like too." What had he done to deserve this?
“a little of both,” emily said about the cyber attacks, tipping her head like she was weighing it. “eden’s a successful business. people want money. and some people have too much time and not enough morals.” her mouth curved into a small, satisfied smile. “plus… i’m good at what i do.” she shrugged, like she was trying to play it off, even though the tiredness sat on her shoulders. “i still have to keep tightening things up, though. and with the storm, it’s like it shook everything loose. so here i am, working overtime.” she accepted the drink from him and took a sip, letting the sweetness cut through the grit of her mood. when he started pulling out his phone, emily had half a mind to dump her drink on him on principle alone until he revealed he was joking. she let out a laugh anyway, rolling her eyes.
“pete the pervert?” emily repeated, brows lifting. “yes, have you not seen him?” she turned, scanning the bar like she could summon him just by talking shit, but thankfully he wasn’t there tonight. she faced leo again with a grimace. “he’s a regular,” she said, disgusted, “and he’s sleazy. like, he tried to grab my ass when i first started.” emily rolled her eyes so hard it was a full-body action. “so i grabbed his phone, dropped it in his drink, and told him if he tried it again i’d make sure he regretted having hands.” she shrugged, calm as anything. “he hasn’t messed with me since.”
she took the napkins he offered and wiped her forehead again out of habit, even though it was dry now. then leo asked about nathan, and her expression softened in that way it always did when his name came up, which was happy and aching at the same time. “he went to new york for a book deal,” emily said, and the pride in her voice was real. “which is amazing. i’m so happy for him, i really am.” she took a bigger sip of her drink, like she was trying to swallow the second half of the sentence. “but…” she shrugged, then finished the rest of her drink in one go. “i hate not seeing him. we’ve spent almost every day together since we started dating, and yeah, i know it’s healthy to spend time apart and have separate lives and whatever.” her smile was small, a little embarrassed. “but my bed’s just… lonely.”
Everytime that Emily told Leo about what she did for Eden's, he came to the same conclusion: the woman was a hard worker. "Whatever Sada is paying you, it's not enough," Leo told Emily. "You should ask for a raise." He was mostly kidding - Sada wasn't cheap, and she took care of her employees - but still, Emily dealt with a lot. "I always thought how silly it was that people who have that kind of skill don't use it for, like, an actual job or something. Or at the very least for like some sort of cyber activism, like that group Anonymous. But I guess the whole point is so that they don't have to work...or pay for their own porn apparently." Even thinking about what these hackers might do made Leo a little disgusted. "People can be so gross," he said, making a face. Watching as Emily took a drink, Leo smiled, knowing she probably liked it. "Good, right?" he asked. "It's on the house tonight. You drink for free here, at least while I'm on duty, unless you like...are secretly an alcoholic or something, then I'll have to cut you off, but please, don't make me stage an intervention." An amateur alcoholic himself, Leo didn't think that Emily was one, but sometimes people were good at hiding it.
Shaking his head, Leo made a face of disdain and said, "He sounds disgusting. Why do they keep letting him back in?" Maybe Emily had scared him enough that he kept his hands to himself with all the girls, but then again, why the nickname? Or maybe it had just stuck even after Emily had put him in his place. "This place really does attract some creeps," Leo said, "but I guess that comes with the territory. The worst is when they all congregate at the same time, like the other night when a bachelor party was here." Luckily the employees at Eden's took care of the girls - who also could take care of themselves - so it hadn't gone well for those assholes. "You're going to have to point out Pete so that I can keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't misbehave, though I have to say, I don't have high hopes for him."
It was clear by the look on Emily's face as she began to talk about Nathan that she really loved him, and just seeing that made Leo smile. He acted like he was cold and closed off to love, that he didn't really believe in it, but the truth was that Leo did, and current events had him thinking about that more than usual. But Leo shut down thoughts of JP before he could sink into them; he had lost his chance with the man, and Leo knew he had to just accept that. "Still, he could have taken you with him," Leo said, but he was smiling, just giving this Nathan guy a hard time. "I think maybe I've seen you with him actually," he went on, "at The Stacks. Though I could be wrong." But if Emily and Nathan were spending every day together, Leo assumed Nathan was at The Stacks at least some of the time. "He better bring you something back," Leo commented, wiping down the bar some more so that there were no more incidents, just in case Emily put her face down on it again, though he didn't expect that. "You probably are better off here," Leo said, grabbing the beer he had under the bar and taking a sip, deciding he didn't need to hide it from Emily (or maybe he just didn't care enough to). "Sure, there's always something to do there, but it's like...you can never really relax," Leo elaborated. "It's like the city is too alive or something. I was on edge the entire time I lived there." It wasn't like Leo was a small town guy exactly; he'd lived in big cities before. But something about NYC had felt like too much.
"Ah," Ash settled down the funny ideas for that then, sounded like communications were open but were never on the same wavelength. "Well then, if you ever do cross paths again and show that picture, let me know his reaction, could be a nice fuck you right back." He chuckled, honestly admiring the strength Leo had to go through rough relationship after rough relationship. One bad end for Ashton was enough to put him in safety locks for years. His heart was too fragile to break so many times. Hockey guy definitely didn't even seem like it weighed on him as much as this other guy that's somewhere in this party. Ash quietly grabbed another full glass for Leo while he listened, just in case he really needed another drink.
He let him speak mostly, sometimes a listening ear was more than enough, giving life advice aren't what people need. And so he listened, and empathized. "Don't we all?" Ash sighed with jest, going back in time to fix every thing that went wrong would be a dream for him too, ignoring any time paradox it might cause, "guess the only thing we can change is right now." He shrugged, understanding his predicament more than he thought. "It's.. okay to give yourself the time to move on. And then just, try," he shrugged, "..me and my ex didn't speak for ten years basically." It was ugly it was painful, and taking that step to speak first was stressful and awkward. "Not- saying you need to take ten years. But.. we're also trying to find some way to normalcy in each others lives again. Without the whole.. relationship thing."
The more Leo thought about, the more he could see the appeal of sending his ex the picture. He'd said a lot of horrible things to Leo, so didn't he deserve it? But then Leo thought about the fact that most of what had said had been spurned by heartbreak, and the situation became murkier. "I won't lie, I kind of want to send it to him just like a 'fuck you' right back, like you said," Leo replied, smirking at Ashton. "But I think he was really upset when I left, and like...I don't love the idea of poking an old wound that might not even be fully healed yet." Maybe Leo had been clear about what he wanted, but that didn't change how his ex had felt. "Man, I must have been at the top of my game to get him that hooked on me," Leo joked, though it was mostly to pull them out of more serious territory. "Though I guess a certain hockey player had him even more enamored," Leo added teasingly. He saw Ashton get another glass, and Leo nodded at him, finishing his own and saying, "You read my mind."
Again Leo laughed, without humor this time. "Yeah, I guess if time travel existed, we'd never learn from our mistakes. But frankly I don't really care. There are so many things I'd do over, and not just the situation with JP." If he could go back in time, Leo's parents would still be alive, but then he'd never have met JP. Pressing his palm to his forehead, Leo groaned, "Ugh, time travel is so confusing." He pushed the thought out of his mind, refocusing on Ashton. "So you managed to find a way to mend things, at least enough to be in each other's lives," Leo said. "Interesting...though yeah, I don't want it to take ten years." Leo thought about how this related to his own situation, and he told Ashton, "That's the thing: we're already back to talking and flirting. It's like there's something pulling us together. I don't think I could fight it even if I wanted to."
Irvin looks in the direction Leo had mentioned, good looking but not really their type. "You really gave this a lot of thought, haven't you?" The florist comments, turning their attention back to the other." If someone doesn't want to dance with you they can just say a polite no and move along. I feel that if you take a bracelet than that is an invitation for anyone that is interested, no matter what gender." They hum taking the baby blue fabric in their hands, still not sure himself." But I can see your points. It's suppose to be a fun night, wouldn't want to get hurt."
A soft chuckle escape his lips." I guess we could dance with each other." He jokes playfully." Well, I've lived here almost all my life. I wasn't born here but I moved when I was young and it became my home before I left for a while."
Laughing, Leo nodded and admitted, "Kind of yeah, at least in the last few minutes." Those thoughts had flashed through his mind in quick succession. But Leo thought he was right. "Sure, in a perfect world, that's how it would go," he told Irvin. "Someone would just politely say no, or hell, they'd dance with you even if it didn't match their sexual orientation. It's just a dance, it's not a marriage proposal or something, you know what I mean? But that's just not the reality of this world we live in." Things would be a lot easier if it were. "So yeah, there's a bit too much unpredictability for me to fully lean into this, at least at a formal occassion. Maybe if we were in a bar and everyone was a bit rowdier, I could get into it." It might even have been fun in that scenario.
Laughing, Leo pretended to scoff as if offended. "Wow, if you don't want to dance with me, just say so," he said, but he was just kidding, his tone making that clear, plus the fact that he was still smiling. Leo listened to Irvin talk about his past, and when he was done, he told the other, "I'm new in town myself. This is my first time here, but I'm thinking I might stay awhile." Not forever, he never stayed anywhere permanently. But for awhile.
Xander smirks to the other's words, if there was one thing he was proud of, that would be calling it like it is, at least in his mind, anyway, of course that had landed him in hot water before, but still, at least he was honest? "Eh," he chuckled a bit, "I'm a think it, say it kinda guy, why keep it to yourself, you only live once, yeah?" he says taking a drag of his cigarette.
"Not a fan of weddings, not a fan of love in general, does that makes me sound like an ass?" he chuckles a little, "Been in love once in my whole life and it was fucking hell. Kinda do not wanna go there again," That was another story, perhaps thinking about it right now was not a good idea, he already had too many worries in his mind to go back, to the not-so-long-ago past where he ended up with a broken heart,"How about you? want the whole, forever /fairy tale, and all that shit?"
While Leo could appreciate that philosophy - and even adhered to it himself to an extent - he still knew it was easy to take it too far. "I agree - sort of," Leo replied. "Like...I hate when people pretend they like something to spare someone's feelings or tell them what they want to hear or things like that. And I think your blunt energy is pretty refreshing. But...gotta be careful who you say what to. I've had more than one black eye to prove it, or split lip, or bruised rib, or...well you get the idea." But Leo really did appreciate a person who didn't put on a front just to be liked. That was something he and this guy definitely had in common.
Shaking his head, Leo replied, "No, it doesn't. Sometimes I don't believe in love either. That's why it's always been easy for me to leave...well almost always. But lately I've been wondering if I really feel that way." Leo always thought love was a waste of time, despite the fact that his parents had had a good marriage. It hadn't saved them. Love wasn't enough to keep Leo from becoming an orphan. And rationally Leo knew it was kind of crazy to think like that - something abstract like love had no chance against the very concrete experience of your car being mangled with you inside it - but it was just a notion that had cemented itself in his mind in the years since his parents' deaths. "Weddings are fine if you're really in love, but most people who get married aren't," Leo answered. "As for what I want...I don't really know. I haven't known for a long time." Things felt a little clearer lately though. Taking a drag of his cigarette, he held out his free hand to the man and said, "My name is Leo by the way."
"Right? A bouquet!" It made sense in their head, also it would be nice to catch it, fun even. "I guess but now a days would it be so bad for others to join? I could have used the flowers for the kitchen, if I was able to grab them of course." Irvin breaths in." But I guess this is nice too, the bracelets are well made and this way everyone gets something." He chuckles." I rather not imagine being not chosen, I'm not sure I could survive the embarrassment."
"Maybe." He still wasn't sure, dancing was fun but was that something that he was feeling tonight? Maybe he could just take one as a gift and not wear it, that would be okay, right?
Irvin hummed, mind still elsewhere." I arrived in town last minute, I saw the invite just a few days ago." The florist confessed." But it has been a while since I attended events like these and I was hoping I would see some familiar faces and maybe meet some new ones." He gives Leo a smile. "So far it seems to be going alright."
Shrugging, Leo replied, “I haven’t actually been to a wedding in awhile. Maybe the whole throwing bouquet thing is dated; maybe this is how they do it now.” This was at least more gender inclusive, but that brought another thought to mind. “What if someone asks you who you don’t want to dance with?” Leo asked. “And what if you want to dance with someone and think they’ll say no?” He looked around, spotting a drop dead gorgeous guy across the room. “Like that guy,” he said, “the one who’s practically busting out of his suit jacket. Super hot, but like, what if he doesn’t want to dance with another guy, you know?” Looking at the basket of bracelets, Leo decided, “There are just too many variables to consider. I don’t think this is for me.”
Looking at Irvin, Leo thought about how cute he was and smiled to himself. Maybe the magic of the bracelets was working and Leo would be dancing with a stranger tonight - or maybe more. Even so, Irvin was cute, and Leo liked to flirt. “We could dance if you wanted to,” he said nonchalantly, but Leo also gave Irvin and smoldering look as he said it. He looked around, saying, “I don’t know a lot of people here myself. I’ve only lived here a few months.”
He shook his head gently, stopping the dismissal of his apology halfway through. He didn't know how to just be around him either. His chest tightened, and he struggled not to show the pain on his face or run his fingers along his scar. (Truth be told, his ticker had been acting up all night. This had just been a spike. JP wrote it off as the usual flutter that came with seeing Leo. Not the stress of seeing him.) "Leo, tha's no'..." what he wanted.
John-Paul didn't want to stay away from him. He didn't want them to avoid each other. He didn't want to lose him all over again. He didn't want things to be so hard for them. He also didn't want it to interfere with him and Maddox. He didn't. But he wanted both men. Maddox and Leonidas. He couldn't deny he loved, LOVED, loved, Mad, but he also had very strong feelings bordering on the same for Leo that he just couldn't shove aside. And by God had he been trying.
"I can' stop thnkin' 'bout'chu either," he admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don'...." know what to do about it. "Mad's jus'....we..." His brow furrowed, conflicted. He fidgeted gently with his ring, rolling it back and forth on his finger. "I love 'im, but..." he went on shakily. "I think...I migh' still....I dunno," he stumbled. He couldn't say it. He couldn't get out the words because what if. The fallout of Leonidas would be devastating if he was wrong, and he wasn't sure he could survive it.
Sighing, Leo ran his fingers through his hair again, a nervous habit of his - or maybe feeling his beautiful hair was just comforting to Leo. Either way, it did help a little. Reaching out to adjust JP’s collar, Leo said, “I didn’t think this would be so hard, you know? Staying away from you I mean, behaving, keeping my hands to myself. I thought I could look and easily resist the urge to touch.” As he said this, Leo let his hands linger on JP’s collar, not even realizing it at first until he ran his hands down the man’s chest, smoothing out his shirt. “Apparently it’s not that easy,” he laughed, realizing he still had his hands on JP, but Leo didn’t let go just yet.
Ugh, this was torture. All Leo wanted was to rip JP’s clothes off. That thought kept coming to him, right here where anyone could see; Leo wouldn’t care if it meant he got to touch the man. Eyes widening at JP’s admission, Leo smiled. “Yeah babe?” he asked. “Glad it’s not just me, but also…I wish it were easier for you.” Leo didn’t like the idea of causing strife for his ex. As JP stumbled over his words, Leo smiled, though it was somber because he knew that it didn’t change anything. JP was still off limits. Still, it was nice to hear. “Yeah, me too,” Leo said, making it clear he understood JP’s meaning. Finally he let go of the man, dropping his hands, and he laughed sardonically. “So what do we do about this?” He asked JP.
Ash could only offer a lopsided smile of empathy, "sounds like he's someone special." He simply added, no just anyone would be able to get under someone's skin again. At least it's worth learning something new about yourself perhaps. Ashton knows himself, only through limited intense experiences, that a relationship ending always completely crushes him, emotionally stunted for days, weeks, months, maybe years. This clearly seemed like awhile ago for this guy already, guess sometimes seeing them again makes it a lot harder.
"Ah, not really a place I go, I do know some people that work there too though," Ash shook his head though at least making some form of a connection with that establishment. Nothing really against it per se, just never anything for him. He waited expectantly with a cheeky grin for a but as Leo hesitated on a no to a picture, "of course not, snap away, I think it'll be pretty funny too." Ash gave the camera a wide smile with a small peace sign below for him to snap a picture. "What's the guy's name? Maybe if he ever comes for a King's game I'll make sure to shout you out, Leo says hi and all that." Ashton had to chuckle at the scenario, "maybe you should, just out of curiosity. If this isn't a guy that's.. well, gonna get all up in your head too," Ash lightly shrugged cautiously double backing on that idea not really realizing what he might be encouraging, a fun curious look up on a hook up, or another tragic ex to spiral him further.
He couldn't help the gently scoff, wishing that he was confident to say he's got it all figure out, "I'm not sure if I really deserve them just yet. But.. I guess." He tried not to continue this habit of self sabotage, stopping himself from spiraling further into that line of thought. He focused back on the real woes that mattered more, "but you guys tried at a relationship, right? How'd that go?" Ash knew the answer might not be pretty, but it might be nice for him to get it off his chest at least, to someone that has no stake in the game. "Then.. do you still want to at least be in his life? Or he in yours?" Claude's face specifically comes to mind, "if.. you still care bout him, then that's the point. Doesn't.. always have to end up romantic."
“Well we didn’t end on the best terms, the hockey guy,” Leo told Ashton. “Like…I told him from the start what I wanted, and he wanted more even though I never misled him. The last thing he said to me was ‘fuck off.’” Pausing, Leo thought about it and amended, “Or maybe it was ‘get fucked.’ Something like that.” Leo shrugged because he couldn’t change it now. He’d probably never see or talk to the guy again. Although Leo was smiling and laughing as he took his phone out of his pocket, holding it out in front of him to take the picture, inside his mind was all over the place. He wanted JP, yes; there was no way he could deny that. But he couldn’t have JP the way he wanted unless he broke up a relationship, something that made JP happy. “The guy he’s with now is…a lot better than me,” Leo responded quietly. “He treats him well, and all I’ve done is break his heart.” The situation was of course much more nuanced than that, but it was a long - and private - story. “I don’t want to ruin something good for him,” Leo said, his voice soft.
What Ashton was saying was something Leo had thought about already. “I do want to be in his life whatever way I can,” he admitted. “Like…I left him once, and I don’t know if I can do it again. But I need to get it out of my head that we’ll ever be want I want us to be. Those days are done, and it’s my fault.” Leo wasn’t just taking the blame - this was a fact. If he hadn’t left, he and JP would still be together. Leo had no doubt about that. “I know what I’d do if I could time travel,” Leo said, laughing solemnly.
Open
0/5
Trying to find a little bit of peace in the middle of the happy, loud, wedding going crowd, was not easy, if it wasn't sure this stupid job he had to do, Xander wound't even be here, "Band fucking sucks too," he munbles to himself, leaning against the outside wall as he lights up a cigarret, "Is it me or weddings are nothing but a bunch of people pretending to be happy for some random couple that so happen to look at each and say, Hey you're good enough , lets get married" he says looking at the person who had just arrieved.
Leo didn't smoke, not really, or at least that's why he said. But sometimes he really just needed a cigarette. Yeah, he knew he should quit, and even when people lectured him about it (which wasn't often but did happen occasionally), he didn't even disagree with them. It was a bad habit. But Leo always told himself he wasn't a smoker, he was just a guy who smoked sometimes. This was one of those times. This wedding - and his proximity to a certain ex - was fucking with his head, and Leo needed a break. Walking outside with the beer he was nursing, Leo saw that he wasn't the only one there. For a moment, he listened to the guy's diatribe, smirking, and then Leo said, "You don't mince words, do you?" It wasn't a criticism though - Leo appreciated the candor.
Leaning against the wall, Leo put his cigarette between his lips and patted his pockets for his lighter, forgetting where it was. He found it and quickly lit his cigarette, taking that first puff and sighing, eyes closed. Yeah, he wasn't a smoker, but sometimes it was just what he needed. As the calm washed over him, Leo opened his eyes and looked at the stranger, saying, "So I take it you're not a fan of weddings."
He once again tried to follow along his gaze to the crowd of people narrowing it down to a few potential 'he's. But honestly the specifics didn't really matter right now. "An ex, huh?" Ash hazards a guess, feeling like he was kinda in similar but not so similar positions. He's moved on, yes, but it didn't mean Ash never thought about it over the years, wondering if there was ever hope for them again. "That's a hard position to be in," Ash wasn't about to enable him to go about ruining a relationship either. He grinned was a silent thanks, on behalf of the staff actually making the drinks, "thanks kind of you to say, where do you bartend at? Don't think I've seen you at the Silver Bullet before at least."
Ash was glad the man was laughing over the situation at least, some people take hockey a little too seriously, and that's coming from the guy that plays it for a living. "I think it's working, we've had a pretty cursed year this season," he grinned, honestly with the time passing after the last brutal lost in the playoffs, it's been getting easier to get over it. all. "I'm sure he did," Ash gestured the sentiment back to the other man, before chuckling, "want a photo just in case you ever see him again?" Ash isn't ever opposed to photos when asked, specially if it's for a fan, even by proxy, and this would be pretty funny.
He took a second the genuinely contemplate the question, something about opening up to strangers that had no prior connections to you to talk about vulnerable topics, it's somehow almost easier. "Well.. maybe someone I thought I wasn't allowed to have," he shrugged, "it was more self sabotage I guess." How many years did Ash let slip away, telling himself it wasn't worth ruining a friendship with March? "Have you tried talking to him yet? Feel out where you guys stand with each other?"
Leo needed to stop thinking about JP. Nothing good would come of that. Okay…so some good things would come of that, some very good things, but then those things would be followed by the bad. And Leo didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with that right now. Sighing, Leo ran his fingers through his hair again, grabbing a handful and groaning. “I never get like this,” he told Ashton, “didn’t think I could, and I’m super fucking pissed to discover that I can.” It was easier when Leo could take emotions out of relationships, even if he always knew that wasn’t exactly healthy. It was his way to cope, and it had gotten Leo through the trainwreck of his life. The problem was that with JP, Leo was wondering if it always had to be that trainwreck; it had him hoping for more.
“I bartend at Eden’s,” Leo answered, “so if you never go there, you’ll never see me bartending.” Leo had taken the job because it was the only bartending gig he could find, but now he was glad that was where he ended up, and not just because JP worked there. It was just…comforting. It made Leo feel less alone working with those people, and that was definitely not something he’d anticipated finding at a strip club. “I want to say no because I’m probably never going to see him again,” Leo replied, “but…if I actually do run into him and don’t have the picture, I’m going to be pissed. So…yes, if you don’t care.” He moved to stand by Ashton, holding his phone out to take a selfie with him. “Man, he’d lose his mind if he saw this,” Leo said with a grin, looking at the photo. “Kind of makes me want to look him up.”
As he listened to Ashton, Leo just nodded, and finally he said, “Well it sounds like you’ve figured out that you can have this person. You’ve got one up on me.” He thought back to when he was with JP, how it had felt, and Leo admitted, “I think back then I didn’t want to get attached. That doesn’t usually go well in my experience. And then I convinced myself he was better off without me. That’s actually probably still true.” Leo sighed again, shaking his head. “What would be the point?” he asked Ashton. “He’s not available. He’s got a boyfriend already.” Leo had missed his chance.
"singles dance." Irvin murmurs not sure he wanted to go through it, self esteem still shaken from the past month." Whatever happened to throwing a bouquet?" He glances towards the other, Irvin couldn't really place him, not sure if they had met before or not, he assumed the latter. "Sounds like a complicated ritual, what if you don't get picked by anyone?"
Irvin shakes their head." I'm here alone, no date. It was a bit last minute, I wasn't really planning on coming to the reception." He takes the other hand." It's nice to meet you Leo, I'm Irvin or Irv."
Nodding, Leo replied, "Yeah, I think so. Kinda weird, right? I mean...to each their own, but it's definitely the first time I've been to a wedding with something like this." Leo took a sip of his drink, looking around to see who was wearing bracelets; that would help him decide if he wanted to wear one after all. Turning back to the other, Leo exclaimed, "That's what I said! Okay, I more so thought it, but yeah, like that's what I was expecting. But I guess traditionally that's just for the girls, and also this way everyone has a chance to meet someone, but still...imagine being the one not chosen." Leo cringed at the thought, even if admittedly he didn't expect that to happen to him.
Leo was surprised that Irvin was here alone, but hey, so was he technically. "I guess we're both here solo tonight," he said. "Maybe we should wear a bracelet after all." It was mostly a joke, though Leo was still considering it. "Nice to meet you too, Irv," Leo said, smiling at the man. He ran his fingers through his hair, acting like it was just a force of habit when really in this case it was a very deliberate gesture. "So why didn't you think you were going to be here?" Leo asked.
