hey friends. so this is pretty important and iâd appreciate it if you took the time to read this.if you donât, thatâs okay. the long story short of everything iâm about to say is that iâve made the decision to drop leo and sullivan. iâll be helping meg make a final decision about the main, but if we do stay open, iâll be dropping from that too. and iâm going to explain why. i canât promise itâll be clear because of the state my mind is in right now but iâm gonna try.
iâm saying right now that this is going to be very trigger heavy so read with caution.
i want to stay on a positive note by saying this has been the longest lasting and easily the best group iâve ever opened / been apart of. groups die out so easily now and i was so mesmerized and impressed with how well we did. i love all of you guys, even my newest friends, and i thank you for you endless support.
however, as of recently, weâve been under fire for some issues and iâve been addressing it on the main but nothing seems to be working. in fact, i posted a long, detailed post about inclusion and diversity, and someone took it upon themselves to send out hate right after. thatâs literally just ... ridiculous. itâs ridiculous. i try to address things as professionally possible but at this point, thereâs too many issues sprouting from 700 directions and iâm no longer able to control it. thereâs hate against the main, thereâs hate against the members, thereâs hate against people who arenât even in the group anymore. thereâs too much hate being spread. and iâm not blaming anything or anyone specifically. but i am saying that no matter how many times i try to campaign for this to be a better, safer place, thereâs more hate spread. i want to make a quick note that because i covered the diversity issues on the dash yesterday, i likely wonât be covering that in this post because itâs already going to be very long but please note that that is a huge underlying topic of this post.Â
every group is going to have issues and yes, i know that we had/have things that need to be resolved and i was working to resolve them. meg and i were putting measures in place to make it more diverse ( with the help of suggestions ), measures in place to make it more welcoming, etc. etc. and for a minute, i was confident that things would be good. however, the constant sending of hate has once again became and issue, and now targeted one of our members. where this typically wouldâve been something we could address on the main, the way things have been handled lately just . ... isnât allowing that. itâs like weâre expected to take a guess at whoâs sending hate and kick them out. and i know that sounds ridiculous, but itâs true.Â
the big picture right now is that this has been blown so heavily out of proportion that any means i have to attempt to resolve issues is just backfiring and honestly, feels completely useless. iâm in no means saying that there werenât issues; however, these are things that couldâve been fixed if the whole situation was handled differently. i am always, 100% willing to talk but itâs come to the point where i can make admin posts until my face is blue and iâll be lucky is 10 of you read it and take it to heart. clearly, the one yesterday went completely unnoticed by someone. and i know that if this entire thing was addressed differently, if we could talk things out privately instead of spreading hate, we wouldâve been able to ratify it in a different way.Â
my point here is that you canât ratify hate with hate. you canât fight for something by sending hate. and this is a blanket statement to anyone involved whoâs contributed to hate. iâm in no mood to point fingers because at this point, iâm too tired and mentally ill to keep myself going.Â
my decision to leaves spouts from the fact that i am pushing myself to the very limit trying to pull this group out of the ground and normally, i wouldnât stop fighting but my mental health is suffering and thatâs not fair to me. iâve been open with you guys about my depression and my anxiety, and if a damn roleplay group is bringing back thoughts i havenât had in months, i think itâs time for me to call it quits. itâs honestly just ridiculous that it has to come to this and i am so so saddened to even be making this post. i care for you guys so much, but i have to put myself first. i have to think about whatâs best for my mental health and right now, being petrified to open the inbox because iâm nervous iâm going to see name calling and death threats and all this other shit is just ... itâs not okay. itâs not okay that this has gotten so bad that itâs making myself and others mentally ill.Â
my main point here is that this is a group. this is for fun. i understand that it deals with real life issues but everyone has to understand thereâs an appropriate way to seek change and everything thatâs been going on here isnât it. this is absolutely no way to hope things get better. like i said, you canât ratify hate with hate. you canât expect things to change by sending hateful messages or making hateful posts. and iâm not putting the blame on anyone in specific, iâm saying everyone involved; posters, the admins, the anons, etc. none of us handled this situation properly and itâs beyond the point of repair. for me, at least. it needs to be understood the effects that hate has on people.Â
again, please note that iâm not trying to act like there werenât issues. i am aware and i wanted nothing more than to be able to fix it. and do i think we couldâve had this been addressed differently? absolutely. but right now, i think itâs best that i step down because itâs more important to me, as someone who suffers from severe mental health issues, to part while iâm still able to control my thoughts.Â
if you read all the way down here, thank you for taking the time to hear my thoughts. i do love you guys, and if youâd like to contact me, please send me an im for my discord or skype because iâd be more than happy to keep in touch.
love, ren.Â
