...And miles to go before I sleep

Leo. Queer, transmasculine, anxious, socially awkward, sleepy, cat-loving, Brooklyn-inhabiting jumbled pile of person with 27 rotations around the sun so far. Part-time "out of the closet" being, full-time trying to figure myself out. The contents of this blog are predominantly related to gender, sexuality, and my transition. At times, it is NSFW. http://www.formspring.me/leotron YouTube var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-20189286-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

[leotron-blog]

Greetings Tumblr World.

This is a message written by MC, Leo's domestic partner. I'd like to share with you all something difficult. Leo committed suicide two weeks ago and is no longer with us. I'm sorry to have to share this with you. I think it is important for me to share with you the circumstances surrounding his death because suicide has a stigma associated with it. I'll always be pained by the manner of his conclusion, but I will never be ashamed of him. I'm so proud to have spent four years knowing him and evolving together. We grew stronger together and I've been using that strength to carry me now. When we began our journey together we promised each other one thing- "to try."

And he did try very hard and I thank him for that.

I want to thank you all. Leo took solace in the world in Tumblr because it was a home to express his gender identity and the journey that was its exploration. Community is essential, and to Leo, Tumblr was one of his communities. Certainly as a Tumblr follower you were privy to a very private part of his expression and to the exhibitionist that he was. In his day-to-day, he was far more quiet. He was so compassionate and generous with his spirit. He was also so silly and wonderful. I was lucky enough to share four years of my life as his partner. Let you find peace. 

Please take care of yourself and those around you. It is infuriating that I'm sure many of you have already been impacted in same way by suicide before and unfortunately will again in the future. Silence is deadly, so please remember to speak.

Resources:

If you are in a crisis please contact Hopeline (800) SUI-CIDE or https://www.imalive.org for a crisis intervention and suicide prevention hotline that is 24/7.

Thank you to Amos Mac for the above photo. 

[leotron-blog]

I usually don't get morning wood, but this morning....wow.

[leotron-blog]

I'm off from work until July 9th. Time to grow out my sparse facial hair!

(And perhaps write that RodeoH review I've been meaning to do)

[leotron-blog]

Breast cancer genes

I just spoke with one of my cousins on the phone. Her mom (my aunt) is a breast cancer survivor, but had a recent scare at one of her check-ups. My aunt has made the decision to undergo a double mastectomy in September. Similarly, my other aunt on that side of the family just underwent a double mastectomy due to cancer and is currently recovering. I have a second cousin on that side of my family who has breast cancer, too.

Given the genetic predisposition of breast cancer in our family, my cousin told me that once she has health insurance, she is electing to undergo a double mastectomy as a preventative measure. She suggested that I do the same.

Hmm. I'm not sure what to make of all of this. As you know, my number one reason for not pursuing top surgery is that I don't want to risk losing erotic nipple sensation, since it plays such a big part in my sex life. However, after talking to my cousin, I feel slightly torn. I think I need to process this more.

[leotron-blog]

Tumblr, what are your thoughts on weight-lifting gloves? I am proud of the callouses that decorate my palms, but people who receive massages from me feel otherwise. Do weight-lifting gloves impact your performance negatively at all?

[leotron-blog]

Re: gender neutral facebook timeline

unwieldykakapo replied to your post: do you know how to make Facebook timeline gender neutral?

The closest I’ve gotten was removing my gender entirely? You go to Edit My Basic Info, and can leave Select Sex as just “Select Sex” and uncheck “Show my sex on my timeline.” BUT there are places it will not quite work. Facebook still insists I’m my sister’s brother, because apparently the word “sibling” is too hard? On our “friendship” page they refer to us as siblings so I don’t know what’s up with that.

[leotron-blog]

A snapshot from this very queer weekend.

[leotron-blog]

do you know how to make Facebook timeline gender neutral?

No, unfortunately. Anyone know how to do this?

Ask me anything

[ianbrooks]

Real Life Flemish Portraits by Sacha Goldberger

Taking a cue from Rembrandt, Sacha enlisted a small army of costume, hair, and make-up designers to assist his human and live animal models. My personal photo would have been with a mongoose. Aint no cobras coming after me.

Artist: website (via: mymodernmet)

[friendofdorothywilde-blog]

LEO.

[leotron-blog]

For some reason, I became fascinated with Elizabethan collars several years ago. These photos warm my heart. I also think that such collars were worn by both masculine and feminine folks during that era, which is pretty cool.

[leotron-blog]

NYC Pride Weekend

If you live in NYC or are visiting NYC this weekend, here's a list of some of the events going on, aside from the big corporate pride parade in Manhattan.

Friday:

Trans Day of Action

Drag March

Queerball Radical Street Party

That's My Pride Jam

Hot Rabbit - Pride Edition

Saturday:

Pre-Dyke March/All Day Girl Pride Party/Fundraiser

Dyke March

Dyke March After Party

Bacon Boobies: A Pride Party Presented by Woahmone and The Spectrum

Sunday:

Everybooty Too!: Pride Day Party

Proud as F*ck

2nd Annual Pride on the Beach (clothing optional)

Queer Punk Prom

Color Me Queer (for queer POC and allies)

[witchylovely-deactivated2015123]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Anyone who plans on taking HRT without a prescription from your doctor (via ordering on-line or some other method), this website has all dosages, amount of times you take daily, the specific names of the prescriptions, how you administer them, all the “red flag” side effects to look out for, etc. etc. 

Please pass this along!

[leotron-blog]

How much can you bench-press? I'm just curious because you definitely possess quite an ideal physique.

Thank you. I can currently bench press 95 lbs for about 6 reps.

[leotron-blog]

hey friend, could you edit the word "headdresses" from the "visual spectaculars" section out of the event listing for queerball? folks are still reblogging it from yr page.

Sure - thanks for bringing this to my awareness.

[rightocaito-blog-deactivated201]

So…I know ya’ll know about the RODEOH. yea?

$45?

No sir. I can’t afford that…I know a lot of you can’t either…

So. I got a pack of ten O rings for less than 2 bucks that fit my packer.

and then I just sewed it into a pair of briefs that I ALREADY HAVE.

Guess what?

It works.

[leotron-blog]

Sweat-soaked binders: difficult to keep on, difficult to take off

[leotron-blog]

Friday, June 22nd at approximately 6:30

...because Stonewall wasn’t the beginning and marriage isn’t the end! MEET US: At the end of the Trans March! Gathering at 6:30pm in Washington Square and leaving at 7pm. Look for the Queerball Banner on the edge of the Trans Day Of Action Rally! DANCE, DISSENT & TAKE THE STREETS TO: Tompkins Square Park & the Drag March! Dancing and chanting facilitated by the RUDE MECHANICAL ORCHESTRA! THEN GATHER: outside of Stonewall after the Drag March, for a glittery, theatrical Anti-Awards Ceremony, paying sarcastic tribute to some of the jerks who’ve sold us out! WHY?! Because it SUCKS (and not in a hot way) to not be represented, and to be misrepresented, by mainstream Pride celebrations. Because we CAN'T BUY LIBERATION with corporate-sponsored Pride -- but we can come together, dissent, and have rowdy fun for FREE. Because we, too, get to make & TAKE UP SPACE for ourselves and our own politics. Because radical queerness has to be about DISMANTLING SYSTEMIC OPPRESION including white supremacy, capitalism, the class system, ableism, colonialism & imperialism alongside (and not after) homophobia, transphobia & patriarchy. Because we want space to BRING TOGETHER folks of many queer identities, rather than dividing and subdividing ourselves into segments or fighting over identity & territory. Because we're hot, we're diverse and inclusive, and we're gonna be SEEN & HEARD. BRING?! Noise & Music Makers: buckets, drums, pots & pans, tambourines, horns, kazoos + tools to get us dancing through the streets. Posters: make your politics visible with messages that show that “Stonewall wasn’t the beginning and marriage isn’t the end!” Think NYC budget cuts to homeless youth, the prison-industrial complex’s targeting of QTPOC, the appropriation of queer movements by corporations for profit, the promotion of gay rights to mask human rights abuses... oh my! * Visual Spectaculars: costumes, hats, boas, bow ties, sparkles & glitter, whatever makes you feel queer + whatever makes you feel sexy. Mobile Talents: hula hoops, stilts, acrobatics, contortions, face-painting, tarot reading + DANCE MOVES. Every queer, homo, gender-transgressor, radical, alphabet-soup-inspiring, awesome, fun, or angry person you know or like. WHO?! You. Me. Your besties. Your lovers. Your comrades. [email protected].

[leotron-blog]

Regarding Callen-Lorde providing therapy

Here are some of the answers I received:

"They do have therapists, as well. It’s usually interns that stay for a few months, and then leave (at which pint they put you on a waiting list for a new one)."

" Callen Lorde does not do regular therapy long term. They will refer you out. You can call them and get a list of people they recommend. Also the center."

" They do indeed! But I think it’s just for patients receiving medical care as well. They have group counseling for others."

" I go to Callen-Lorde but I'm in the HOTT (youth) program and don't know about the adult program. But I do get regular therapy there, in addition to other health care."