₲Ø฿Ⱡł₦

I've been on this hell site for way to long and I still am just shit posting

[fromcainwithlove]

author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone

a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P

[fromcainwithlove]

just saw a fic with the ‘age gap’ tag and the author’s notes explained that the characters were 20 and 24. none of you will ever know salvation.

[pjharvey]

it’s so funny when people online act like women reading trashy romance novels is like. a new phenomenon and a sign of the downfall of society bc this has never been a thing before. this has been an extremely popular genre of book for ages. the only difference now is that they’re written by women who wanted to fuck kylo ren. which i guess is annoying. out of every man in star wars like be so serious. they had harrison ford in those movies

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[parasocialites]

how did a woman manage to date elvira for 19 years and not tell every single person she knows

[onetine]

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

If you mess up a social interaction you can say "Failed Experiment" and move on

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Cannot stress enough that you say this in your head

[parakeet]

There’s always something on Reddit

[grox]

I do hold scorn for people in weed states I do. I really do. The way your stupid 21 year old ass can go to the weed store and buy weed. The way your stupid 21 year old ass can buy weed online not a care in the world. And you have so much to choose from. You have so much fucking gorrila cumshot big fat load of cum horse cock mega 1 billion tch % to choose from and they all got different names and when our good texan plugs come home from colorado they bring that poison with them. They bring that poison home to us. And the people of texas, we're smoking that poison. Were smoking that filthy filthy colorado 10000 thc shit, and were dying. Were dying out here. The soil down here is lerfect for weed. If we could have weed we could create, beautiful poison. Way more toxic than colorodo. Way more toxic than california. We can make weed so insane, bitched from colorado will come down here, to smoke OUR poison. And WE could name it shit like Ram Ranch. We could name it shit like Horse Erection. We could name it shit like, I dont know, Forget The Alamo. YOU, worthless idiots up north, can smoke our latino magic. You dont got tejanos. You dont got our technology. You don't got what it takes. You dont know what its like. Theyre not legalizing weed down here cause they hate us. You know they do. You know for a fact they do. So yeah. Just think before you spark up with that shit you got down the street trouble free. Do so in my name. In our name. Keep the less fortunate in mind. I HOPE THE CIELING FAN FALLS ON YOU

[chismosavirus]

as soon as i saw this tweet i had to come back to this post

[mantisliberationfront]

I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

[prismatic-bell]

OP there is an entire Broadway musical explaining why you don’t want that

[bbcwhereareyou]

There’s a Broadway musical about them, too.

[lmaonade]

a printer error is an attempt from god to get you to kill yourself but you must be stronger and you must must must beat the printer to death with a large object like object

[sexybritishllama]

the secret to organising any kind of trip with your friends is to become the benevolent dictator. do NOT wait for everyone to provide a consensus on things before you book anything. do it and then ask for feedback after. do not ask people what they would like to do just tell them what is happening and let them all nod along like the sheep they are. this is the ONLY way to coordinate a group of adults in their 20s/30s

[moniquill]

[dustinthestarz]

genderfluid tim drake is eating my brain

—

cass, noticing tim wearing a she/they pronoun pin: girl day?

tim, shrugged: girl-ish day

cass, nodding: down for girls night though?

tim: always

cass: ill call steph and tell her your coming then

—

interviewer: so tim, with your recent more feminine looks at gala's you've got people wondering, are you a girl now?

tim: im whatever makes everyone who finds me hot gay

—

jason: ladies first

tim: im a boy

jason: im never holding a door open for you again

—

kon: so if you're like a boy, girl, and neither... does that mean your my boygirlpartnerfriend?

tim: what the hell, sure

[sistersorrow]

Broke: vampires are real, and they act just like in the stories

Woke: vampires are real, but the stories are inaccurate

Bespoke: vampires are real, the stories are inaccurate, and vampires made up those stories to keep humans ignorant

Baroque: vampires are real, and the stories are inaccurate, but vampires reacted to things like Dracula and Masquerade the same way the mafia reacted to The Godfather and now actively try to play out the tropes

[teaboot]

We never really talked about it but The Ugly Ducking that grew up to be a beautiful swan was still probably pretty fugly from a duck’s perspective

[teaboot]

Like that story isn’t about an ugly duckling that grew up sexy, it’s a fucking swan was judged as a duck and hated itself as a duck until it found out it wasn’t a duck and stopped trying to be a duck.

The actual ducks in the neighborhood were probably still looking around at perfectly normal swans like “damn, look at those busted ass ducks”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This is pretty important, actually. The good ending is finding the other swans, not tearing yourself to pieces trying to impress the ducks.

[greelin]

if a vampire were to steady my throat by wrapping their hand around it and maneuvering it so that they can feed from my neck i don’t think they would get anything. On account of all of the blood immediately rushing down to my

[vaginatrainer-deactivated202007]

What do you look for in a boy?

[socialistexan]